[INFJ] Do you ever feel that nothing is really meaningful?

[Embers]

Life, unfortunately, isn't all black and white. It can be cruel, insufferable, and merciless. But aside from all that, life can also bring one of the most amazing experiences; may it be love, traveling, eating a new dish, watching a new exciting movie, anything. It is very easy to be weighed down from all the stresses that life can bring, and we overlook the small things. However, as @Wyote mentioned, ultimately, perspective is what will bring you meaning to certain aspects of life.

The shirt you are wearing, it was handcrafted by a women who worked hard in a factory in either China, Thailand, Vietnam, or somewhere in the Asian region.

You have eyes to see the grand spectacle of life---the sun, birds, sky, people, plants, buildings, pets, etc---- hands to do simple but profoundly important tasks, such as writing, eating, buttoning your shirt or jeans. You can smell various scents, may it be oranges, the fresh pine that was naturally created by pine trees outside, gasoline, roses, vanilla, etc etc. Touch, you can touch when a person holds your hand, kisses your cheek, or you petting the soft fur of your beloved pet.

The small little things. I probably mentioned enjoying the small things quite a few times on this forum, but it's incredibly important. The moment you start being grateful on these certain minuscule aspects--- your views on life starts to change.

It really is all about perspective.

Well put!

There is beauty to be found in everything if you look for it hard enough. It's not always that easy to find it though, but you will find what you are looking for eventually so the important thing is what you are looking for. Perception is everything, reality is nothing. At least to a certain extent.

Also, it is possible to fake these sorts of things til you make it. Even if you don't feel there is anything to be grateful for and everything is just looking dark, you can force yourself to try and see those things. That's what you have to try and do if you're stuck in a downward spiral, that's how you will make it out of there eventually. It's really hard to do on your own though, and that's why most people need help and support when finding themselves stuck in that mindset.

I was talking to an introvert friend of mine the other day and we are always discussing the little things in life and how important it is to appreciate them. Except for him I don't really have any friends that see things that way or that it's possible to talk to about these kinds of things, so it makes me happy reading posts like this.

 

[HFrossard]

I do recommend experimenting with tantric sex, actually. And anything physical that gets your heart rate up and you back in your body. Runs, swims, biking up hill.

Personally, I just go poking around in my environment. I kind of do it for a living, so maybe it doesn't really count, but when I go for walks, I do deliberately take a side street I've never tried before, I look for new reading/writing spots, walk into interesting looking buildings, etc. I visit the animal shelter to play with the animals. Usually, I'll find something that stimulates a thought process I've never considered before. And I use this as inspiration for when I write -- which is another way I stretch my senses. It's fascinating when you can sit down and not know where the heck the story you're writing is going to take you. What's even more satisfying is that, at the end of it, you realize that it came from within you.

There's so many different facets to who we are. They just require the right stimulation.

I am getting to like you! kkkkk

Most of what you said (not the tantric thing, I don't know what it is, but I will look) are things I love to do.
Taking different paths and doing things differently are wonderful little things to do.

I have specialized in storytelling, but I couldn't start the story I have being willing to write due to my current activities. This is frustrating to me.

 

[HFrossard]

What you are feeling and have taken notice is what modern life really is that being it is nothing more than an endless grind and empty entertainments along with dull delusions for which the vast majority of the population the world over has sadly bought into. Pretty sad when the best advice is just have sex.... No wonder why the elites look at us as being nothing more than farmyard livestock.

Thinking about that... I reached to the conclusing that we just need problems to solve. If we keep solving problems, it brings fulfillment.

 

[HFrossard]

No, it's not just you. It's probably the lot of people who think and for whom entertainment/consumption is not a fix. (I don't think it is for anyone, ultimately).

I think @Deleted member 16771 is right - you seem to have experienced at least an "existential moment". Outside of the advice that's already been given, do you find that you lack a sense of purpose? I think having a purpose, something to project oneself towards, gives color and taste to everything, whereas it leaves everything feeling dull and tasteless without it.

I do have a purpose, but maybe the everyday need for survival and what is expected of me (or, maybe, what I think that people expect of me) take me away from that purpose.
I love helping people. But it does not pay my bills.

 

[HFrossard]

have another INFJ love wave, Jenny u_u <3 <3


the only thing I might add is: it's probably not the right moment now to stress yourself out any further... this is the hard part.. be nice with yourself..as you would if you were talking to your best friend.
You can trust in your Ni. It will lead you out. breathe..center yourself...cut down a bit of people-pleasing.. all the things everyone listed here then will come naturally.

When I feel like that, I consult my plants... (I know how this sounds)... but I cannot think of anything more symbolic as a plant.. that shows the process of growing in a subtle, silent, natural and gentle way.
We all are in need of some kind of life ..purpose.. and vision.. the process of growing, learning, perfectioning and..a drive to change for the better.. can be that.. you will see the big picture.. you know that feeling, don't you? remember that. you always do so at some point (usually after breathing..)

Wonderfully said.

Would "Ni" be the "intuition" part?

I really agree with the fact that we are all growing (or trying to). What I think sometimes (regarding the original post) is: "What are we growing into?"

But it lasts for a few minutes and goes away, mainly when my happy little daughter jumps into my belly asking me to play with her.

 

[HFrossard]

Well put!

There is beauty to be found in everything if you look for it hard enough. It's not always that easy to find it though, but you will find what you are looking for eventually so the important thing is what you are looking for. Perception is everything, reality is nothing. At least to a certain extent.

Also, it is possible to fake these sorts of things til you make it. Even if you don't feel there is anything to be grateful for and everything is just looking dark, you can force yourself to try and see those things. That's what you have to try and do if you're stuck in a downward spiral, that's how you will make it out of there eventually. It's really hard to do on your own though, and that's why most people need help and support when finding themselves stuck in that mindset.

I was talking to an introvert friend of mine the other day and we are always discussing the little things in life and how important it is to appreciate them. Except for him I don't really have any friends that see things that way or that it's possible to talk to about these kinds of things, so it makes me happy reading posts like this.

Gladly that I am not stuck in this mindset, but sometimes it comes.

I am with you regarding this. I really appreciate to have a place to discuss and hear from other introverts and infj.

 

[Impact Character]

Wonderfully said.

thank you.. It's a treat sharing thoughts with you

Would "Ni" be the "intuition" part?

Yes Introverted Intuition to be precise.. that might be Toto from Oz.. I secretly call it "throwing thoughts inside my inner boiling pot.." or "letting an idea bake/fry" xD
(hmh, I wonder why it has a kitchen/food reference... xD)

I really agree with the fact that we are all growing (or trying to). What I think sometimes (regarding the original post) is: "What are we growing into?"

hmm.... or also... in which direction are we growing (or sailing)? (adjusting sails with values on the horizon.. like a vision of an utopia for example maybe it's never reached.. but it doesn't really matter when you can adjust the sails for it..)
I like how when they talk about character development in storytelling.. that it can be inward/into something..or outward/out of something....or sometimes not growing at all (tragedy) or it's rather some "moving on the same spot" like turning to the right or left some degree (gaining new perspectives or changing goals/directions/values)...
When I start questioning the sense of things in total (when I go to dark destructive places and maybe even feed sadness: nothing has meaning (because everything has meaning) ), I tend to oversee some of these different types of changes... even that this (questioning) is also some kind of change..seeing something that was until now as something stagnant in the present (having a "disgust"/"discontent"/"belly is hurting"/etc. reaction to status quo (feeling and sensing as boundary guardians) ). ..

But it lasts for a few minutes and goes away, mainly when my happy little daughter jumps into my belly asking me to play with her.

there... so much said in a single sentence.

 

[Embers]

Gladly that I am not stuck in this mindset, but sometimes it comes.

I am with you regarding this. I really appreciate to have a place to discuss and hear from other introverts and infj.

I'm glad to hear that. It's there same for me too, it comes and goes.

It's easy to see the solutions while you are feeling positive, but as soon as one slips into the darkness a bit it becomes really difficult. That's one of the reasons it's good to be able to communicate with like-minded people and talk about things like this. It's so much easier to get back on track if others are able to plant some positive thoughts in ones mind when you have trouble finding them yourself.

At the same time it's okay to feel sad sometimes. All emotions are natural and shouldn't be repressed, they are necessary for a person to evolve as a human being.

Nice to meet you by the way!

 

[JennyDaniella]

Well put!

There is beauty to be found in everything if you look for it hard enough. It's not always that easy to find it though, but you will find what you are looking for eventually so the important thing is what you are looking for. Perception is everything, reality is nothing. At least to a certain extent.

Also, it is possible to fake these sorts of things til you make it. Even if you don't feel there is anything to be grateful for and everything is just looking dark, you can force yourself to try and see those things. That's what you have to try and do if you're stuck in a downward spiral, that's how you will make it out of there eventually. It's really hard to do on your own though, and that's why most people need help and support when finding themselves stuck in that mindset.

I was talking to an introvert friend of mine the other day and we are always discussing the little things in life and how important it is to appreciate them. Except for him I don't really have any friends that see things that way or that it's possible to talk to about these kinds of things, so it makes me happy reading posts like this.

I absolutely agree!

There is definitely beauty in every little aspect if you look hard enough.

I had to learn over time to appreciate the little things, but once I did, life has gotten better. Gives my life meaning somehow.

 

[wolly.green]

Sometimes I just think about everything (jobs, hobbies, life, fun, philosophy, space and etc) and I find everything just senseless, like if nothing had meaning and our existence were empty.

Is it just me?

Sometimes I think that being too rational is a curse.

That sounds like the onset of depression. I know the feeling. But I disagree, especially when I get to see the kids.

 

[Ren]

But I disagree, especially when I get to see the kids.

NF confirmed

 

[wolly.green]

NF confirmed

You're funny!

 

[kinglear]

Sometimes I just think about everything (jobs, hobbies, life, fun, philosophy, space and etc) and I find everything just senseless, like if nothing had meaning and our existence were empty.

Is it just me?

Sometimes I think that being too rational is a curse.

life wasn't always that way

I'm reading a book at the moment about lost crafts and from that you really get a sense of how skilled our ancesters were. We tend to look down on them as primatives now from the perspective of our hitech society but if you think about it they were more empowered than us because they could do more for themselves than we can

i'm not anti-technology by any means but the thing about technology is that it depends on who is wielding it whether it is good or bad for society

For example at one point in history castles were cutting edge technology but they weren't always used for good ie to defend against aggressors. Often castles were built by invaders so that they could use them to control the lands that they were occupying

Its the same with hitech today. Yes it can be used to make your life more convenient but it can also be used by others to control you

So the problem we have is that as we become more dependent on the tech we lose the ability to DO for ourselves and i think that as humans we do enjoy doing things for ourselves on some level

I mean lets take something simple like cooking a meal. In modern life people are often tired because they are made to work long hours and commute through heavier and heavier traffic so they get home and they want convenience so they go for pre-made meals which might not be healthy for them

Lets say the hitech companies release a robot that can do all your cooking for you. Within one generation the majority of people would have no experience cooking at all

This has a 'spiral of consequences' effect because not only do you lose a skill and the enjoyment of an activity that you might do recreationally when you have the time and energy for your own satisfaction but you also lose all connection to the food. If the robot also orders the food for you then you may not ever even get to look at the food in its natural state. So within a generation people wouldn't even know what different fruits and vegetables were

At that point the system could be giving your robot chef anything and you would have no idea what that was because you wouldn't know one thing from the other anyway

But that's only one small area of life. The same thing could happen with everything from gardening to building houses to growing food. Then what do we become? Where do we find satisfaction? Where do we find meaning?

 

[John K]

Sometimes I just think about everything (jobs, hobbies, life, fun, philosophy, space and etc) and I find everything just senseless, like if nothing had meaning and our existence were empty.

Is it just me?

Sometimes I think that being too rational is a curse.

There's been a lot of advice here about getting out of yourself, going into the world, appreciating it in little ways, some hinting at distracting yourself with external things. I agree with all these but I'd add something else as well. These feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness come from within, and it can be a sign that something buried deep within you, where you can't easily get at it, is wanting you to grow and mature a bit further in the journey of your life. It's as though there is a seed that is sprouting in the darkness of our hidden minds and eventually it wants the light - and it puts us into an inner conflict. There's nothing about this that isn't normal and countless others have experienced it in all sorts of different ways - I remember my brother when he was about 40 asking "is this it then?" about his life. He went on to have three children in the following few years! It doesn't mean that something within you is trying to get you to break up your current life - for most of us it's more about our attitude to ourselves and the world we live in, and like I say it can be a call for us to move on, mature and develop ourselves as we go into the next stage of our lives. This is a fantastically rewarding process if it we allow it to happen. It isn't just something that happens in our teens - I'm in my late 60's and I go through this sort of thing every 10 years or so, though the big ones are at about 2, 15-18, 40-5, 60-65.

You are an INFJ type - I don't know how much you are familiar with mbti typology, but we are a pretty rare breed, and out in the big wide world there are few of us and a lot of others who are our opposite types, as we are theirs. That means that we develop differently over our lifetimes to most other people, though as we get older we do tend to converge. This means that you won't get a lot of empathy from the people in the world around you who will find your problems weird and disquietening - this forum is a great place to find people whose journey through life is more closely like your own and can share your experiences.

But maybe I'm way off the mark here - only you can say from within your own experience of yourself.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

There's been a lot of advice here about getting out of yourself, going into the world, appreciating it in little ways, some hinting at distracting yourself with external things. I agree with all these but I'd add something else as well. These feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness come from within, and it can be a sign that something buried deep within you, where you can't easily get at it, is wanting you to grow and mature a bit further in the journey of your life. It's as though there is a seed that is sprouting in the darkness of our hidden minds and eventually it wants the light - and it puts us into an inner conflict. There's nothing about this that isn't normal and countless others have experienced it in all sorts of difernt ways - I remember my brother when he was about 40 asking "is this it then?" about his life. He went on to have three children in the following few years! It doesn't mean that something within you is trying to get you to break up your current life - for most of us it's more about our attitude to ourselves and the world we live in, and like I say it can be a call for us to move on, mature and develop ourselves as we go into the next stage of our lives. This is a fantastically rewarding process if it we allow it to happen. It isn't just something that happens in our teens - I'm in my late 60's and I go through this sort of thing every 10 years or so, though the big ones are at about 2, 15-18, 40-5, 60-65.

You are an INFJ type - I don't know how much you are familiar with mbti typology, but we are a pretty rare breed, and out in the big wide world there are few of us and a lot of others who are our opposite types, as we are theirs. That means that we develop differently over our lifetimes to most other people, though as we get older we do tend to converge. This means that you won't get a lot of empathy from the people in the world around you who will find your problems weird and disquietening - this forum is a great place to find people whose journey through life is more closely like your own and can share your experiences.

But maybe I'm way off the mark here - only you can say from within your own experience of yourself.

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

life wasn't always that way

I'm reading a book at the moment about lost crafts and from that you really get a sense of how skilled our ancesters were. We tend to look down on them as primatives now from the perspective of our hitech society but if you think about it they were more empowered than us because they could do more for themselves than we can

i'm not anti-technology by any means but the thing about technology is that it depends on who is wielding it whether it is good or bad for society

For example at one point in history castles were cutting edge technology but they weren't always used for good ie to defend against aggressors. Often castles were built by invaders so that they could use them to control the lands that they were occupying

Its the same with hitech today. Yes it can be used to make your life more convenient but it can also be used by others to control you

So the problem we have is that as we become more dependent on the tech we lose the ability to DO for ourselves and i think that as humans we do enjoy doing things for ourselves on some level

I mean lets take something simple like cooking a meal. In modern life people are often tired because they are made to work long hours and commute through heavier and heavier traffic so they get home and they want convenience so they go for pre-made meals which might not be healthy for them

Lets say the hitech companies release a robot that can do all your cooking for you. Within one generation the majority of people would have no experience cooking at all

This has a 'spiral of consequences' effect because not only do you lose a skill and the enjoyment of an activity that you might do recreationally when you have the time and energy for your own satisfaction but you also lose all connection to the food. If the robot also orders the food for you then you may not ever even get to look at the food in its natural state. So within a generation people wouldn't even know what different fruits and vegetables were

At that point the system could be giving your robot chef anything and you would have no idea what that was because you wouldn't know one thing from the other anyway

But that's only one small area of life. The same thing could happen with everything from gardening to building houses to growing food. Then what do we become? Where do we find satisfaction? Where do we find meaning?

We don't often agree, @kinglear, but on this one I think you're right.

Bobby Kennedy had it right back in the day when he pointed out the limitations of GDP as a metric, but it can be extended. The thing about measuring economic output is that subjectively 'worse' things are rated as more valuable than subjectively 'better' things. A clear example is the difference between a home-cooked meal and eating out in a greasy chicken shop. The latter will put more 'points' into the GDP 'game', but won't actually reflect the better choice in terms of quality of life.

As we move into the age of full automation, such distinctions will become embarrassingly obvious for those governments which still rely on GDP as a measure of national 'success'. As people increasingly come to 'choose' boutique and independent products and services over the cheaper but more soulless products if automated manufacturing, warehousing and distribution, our macroeconomic measures must change accordingly.

 

[HFrossard]

thank you.. It's a treat sharing thoughts with you

=DDD Tks!!!

Yes Introverted Intuition to be precise.. that might be Toto from Oz.. I secretly call it "throwing thoughts inside my inner boiling pot.." or "letting an idea bake/fry" xD
(hmh, I wonder why it has a kitchen/food reference... xD)

Hmmm foood...

hmm.... or also... in which direction are we growing (or sailing)? (adjusting sails with values on the horizon.. like a vision of an utopia for example maybe it's never reached.. but it doesn't really matter when you can adjust the sails for it..)
I like how when they talk about character development in storytelling.. that it can be inward/into something..or outward/out of something....or sometimes not growing at all (tragedy) or it's rather some "moving on the same spot" like turning to the right or left some degree (gaining new perspectives or changing goals/directions/values)...
When I start questioning the sense of things in total (when I go to dark destructive places and maybe even feed sadness: nothing has meaning (because everything has meaning) ), I tend to oversee some of these different types of changes... even that this (questioning) is also some kind of change..seeing something that was until now as something stagnant in the present (having a "disgust"/"discontent"/"belly is hurting"/etc. reaction to status quo (feeling and sensing as boundary guardians) ).

I liked this quote: "Adjusting sails with values on the horizon". Nothing is sure, we are ever growing.
Also, tks for the storytelling reference, I really L O V E storytelling. It is true, the characters are like this because like itself is like this

there... so much said in a single sentence.

She is my Sun.

 

[HFrossard]

I'm glad to hear that. It's there same for me too, it comes and goes.

It's easy to see the solutions while you are feeling positive, but as soon as one slips into the darkness a bit it becomes really difficult. That's one of the reasons it's good to be able to communicate with like-minded people and talk about things like this. It's so much easier to get back on track if others are able to plant some positive thoughts in ones mind when you have trouble finding them yourself.

At the same time it's okay to feel sad sometimes. All emotions are natural and shouldn't be repressed, they are necessary for a person to evolve as a human being.

Nice to meet you by the way!

Nice to meet you!
I tried to explain this feeling to my wife and she couldn’t get or believe it.
Glad to have you now!

 

[HFrossard]

I absolutely agree!

There is definitely beauty in every little aspect if you look hard enough.

I had to learn over time to appreciate the little things, but once I did, life has gotten better. Gives my life meaning somehow.

What do u do for a living?

 

[HFrossard]

NF confirmed

Whats NF?