Do you ever wake up feeling negative?

M

Mogura

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
Dunno
Do you ever wake up feeling negative, even when something bad hasn't actually happened?

I get this quite often. Sometimes it starts even before I wake up. It's as if my Ni function has become a runaway train, and my mind is seeking out anything negative to latch onto, resulting in a cascading/snowballing effect. It usually "works itself out" by noon, but until then I'm negative (obviously), irritable, cynical, etc. and the social damage has already been done for anyone interacting with me while I am like this.

I really don't want to be this way, as I love mornings and they're my favorite part of the day (and I would like to accomplish something positive). Even moreso, I hate being negative. But man-oh-man, this runaway train is difficult to tame or control. Even with copious amounts of coffee.

I can count the number of times I have woken up feeling truly positive or great on one hand. Yes, they are few.

Have you ever experienced this phenomenon? What steps did you take to resolve or mitigate it?

Thanks...
 
yeah! i hate that! a majority of things i do are done for the sole purpose of feeling good and thus improving my outlook on life-- healthy eating, exercise, meditation, self help books, psychology, forcefully changing my thought process, etc.

what's worse is when you're feeling like that, and someone else comes into the picture and is the same way! or hell, when someone comes along and is feeling GOOD! then i feel like an idiot for feeling bad, or negative.
 
No, what's worse is when someone you're on good terms with is also feeling negative (i.e., perhaps going through the same thing), and then you start feeding each other's negativity, and the resulting harmonic resonance of shit that ensues...
 
haha! that might be a little bit worse! :P i gotta get away from people when that happens. are you aware of it in the moment?
 
Oh, yes, I'm definitely aware of it in the moment. If there were a magic pill I could take or a prayer that I could say, then I would be mindful enough of what's going on to know what I should do. But alas, I have yet to discover the elixir.

There are times though, where someone says the wrong and thing I end up tearing his head off and shitting down his neck. By then the damage has already been done. Case in point, my boss has a nasty habit of yelling at me/berating me in front of other co-workers. Well, recently he decided to do that on one of my bad days. By the time I got through with him (I am quite capable of yelling myself), he was trembling... almost crying... in front of the whole office. Anyway, it didn't occur to me at that moment that yeah, my actions, justified as they may be, could ultimately become a promotion killer...
 
donkeybals said:
Can I ask how he berates you?
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An example.

We have some systems that are a total black boxes to me (i.e., I have no idea how they work, let alone know how to troubleshoot or fix issues specific to those systems). I have asked my boss several times in the past to grant me access to such systems and to provide some training or knowledge transfer so that I can become more proficient in supporting them (I have also asked the company to do the same). However my request is either denied or I am given a vague "we'll see"-type of response (from both my boss and upper management).

And then the day comes where a given system is having issues. I am often called into the matter by the user and/or management because I have a great record for resolving problems for systems that I am familiar with. Anyway, I am as much baffled as the user is, even more because I don't even have user level access. And then my boss starts in on me in front of the user, "Why can't you resolve this? You're an ENGINEER! It's simple!" yelling at me, as if it's my fault for not knowing how to troubleshoot a system I have been repeatedly denied training or knowledge transfer on. Geez, just typing this incenses me and makes me want to bash that little cunt's head in...
 
Yup.
 
I don't wake up upset, but I'm far more easily annoyed and upset when I first wake up.
 
Mogura said:
So... how do you guys deal with it?
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When I'm being healthy, I ignore it and try to either things to relax when I wake up, or do things to distract me.
More often than not, I tend to indulge in it and make things worse. I don't recommend that.
 
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I'm usually too tired to feel anything early in the morning.

However, once the neurons are fired up, I usually feel pretty good and can't wait to get on with the day.
 
I do sometimes experience this feeling, not when anything bad has happened, but sometimes when there's some stress in my life that I can't deal with or something like that. For example if someone is giving me a hard time at home, or if I haven't got enough sleep.

I find that making the effort to get enough sleep and eat properly often helps with this though, also making sure that I get out of the house most days, even if it's just for a short walk and I don't need to go anywhere.
 
Mogura said:
We have some systems that are a total black boxes to me (i.e., I have no idea how they work, let alone know how to troubleshoot or fix issues specific to those systems). I have asked my boss several times in the past to grant me access to such systems and to provide some training or knowledge transfer so that I can become more proficient in supporting them (I have also asked the company to do the same). However my request is either denied or I am given a vague "we'll see"-type of response (from both my boss and upper management).
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This is a very NF thing---asking for access and training. We have an ENFP software engineer and this just reminded me of her. You probably asked nicely too. I don't know what type your boss is, but, if it were me and I wanted something at work enough, I wouldn't leave her alone till it's done.
 
whytiger said:
This is a very NF thing---asking for access and training. We have an ENFP software engineer and this just reminded me of her. You probably asked nicely too. I don't know what type your boss is, but, if it were me and I wanted something at work enough, I wouldn't leave her alone till it's done.
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It seems pretty logical to me. If the expectation is that I am going to support and troubleshoot your system, then at the very minimum I need the tools and access in order to do so. I did ask nicely. I asked nicely about five times (verbally, e-mail), as I see no point in being rude about it. My boss (ISTP) and his boss (ESTP) didn't consider it a high priority item I suppose (it's a mission critical system though)...
 
From what i can remember i think there are two instances in which i will wake up feeling negative

1) after a long drawn out bad dream

2) acid reflux

the two usually go hand in hand, i think late night meals upset my tummy and the physical discomfort adds to any stress i felt during the day, the two come together as a foggy drawn out bad dream and a feeling of unease when im waking up.

the solution: don't eat late night meals and think calm thoughts before bed.
 
With disturbing frequency. Best thing to do is stop for a moment and breathe, then continue with your day.
 
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