Do you find most people to be emotionally superficial?

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dragulagu said:
Sorry, I read this as blablabla lack of empathy blablabla not understanding blablabla toxic blablabla men are emotional idiots. I'm telling you again: it's the amount of emotional investment people are doing that matters. INFJ's (and INFP's) do an incredible amount of investment in emotional energy. Don't expect every MBTI type or person to just jump into this amount of focus immediately..
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Lol.

You OK, bro?
 
This thread just shows in itself the range of feelings / emotions / ideas from one subset of humanity and man was it broad!

It goes to show everyone is different. That's one thing I've had to learn over many years as I just didn't get it to begin with (with ACCEPTING it not until about three years ago).

I suppose going into a relationship you need to work out before you are too deep whether you can live with those differences long term.

You can't change a person, so you need to work out what your values are, what you are willing to accept / need or not accept / need from others.

I think that the first page of this thread was the most insightful I'VE seen for a while. Lots of things to ponder in the replies. For one, I'm off to do a test to see how neurotic I am!!
 
dragulagu said:
Honestly...comprehending INFJ's in depth on an emotional level is a pretty hard task to do.
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*Imagines self walking into a huge Costco warehouse and seeing it totally empty except for a single plastic kiddie pool sitting there deflated on the ground*

That’s how I feel about INFJs and trying to comprehend their depth. I’m not necessarily sure if they’re deeper or more shallow, just more confusing.
 
Artemisia said:
I struggle a lot when it comes to dealing with certain aspects in others. I seek emotional and intellectual depth and it seems that most people only want to look at human nature and the world in a superficial way. For example, my INTP boyfriend doesn't like talking with his dad even though the latter calls him about once every ten days or so. I asked him why he does this and he prefers to sweep things under the rug. I noticed he does this when family members are ill too. He just prefers not to deal with emotions and has a superficial understanding of the emotions of others in general.

I have noticed this in the majority of people really. It also makes me wonder whether many of these people have the depth (emotional and intellectual) to understand the world in general. I can't tell you how many superficial academic papers I have read recently.

Sorry for the rant. I was wondering if other INFJs struggle with finding people who share their emotional and intellectual depth.
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Maybe some INFJs act differently but I find myself able to read other people's emotions easily. Some broadcast them without realising, others try to be subtle but I can get a read over time.

Some people, not sure of the Type, possibly some INFJs too, can't handle other people's emotions so its easier to block them out entirely by ignoring them.

Plus some of us on an intellectual level tend to see 'Big Picture' which other people don't. They deal with issues and problems infront of them but can't see how those problems and solutions play into the larger world, today or in the future.

The burden of the INFJ, we are the Cassandras of the world. We see, hear and feel everything but rarely do we have the power to instill change in others to avoid disaster, be it personal or global.
 
barbad0s said:
*Imagines self walking into a huge Costco warehouse and seeing it totally empty except for a single plastic kiddie pool sitting there deflated on the ground*

That’s how I feel about INFJs and trying to comprehend their depth. I’m not necessarily sure if they’re deeper or more shallow, just more confusing.
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Depends on the INFJ, but speaking personally I am rather... Holisitic.

Cause and effect, everything plugs into everything else.

Choosing to give that stranger on the street a dollar or not. It could be the turning point in his life, get him the hotel room to show, attend that job interview and turn his life around. Or it could be used for drugs, he goes on a rampage and murders a family of 3.

The universe works this way whether people admit it or not. Some INFJs just see the world for what it is - a massive bag of chaos where EVERY action and innaction has consequences, so choose your steps wisely.

I doesn't stop being that way just because we don't think about it. You can focus only on the here and now, but the other and beyond will always exist.
 
ReasonEnduring said:
Depends on the INFJ, but speaking personally I am rather... Holisitic.

Cause and effect, everything plugs into everything else.

Choosing to give that stranger on the street a dollar or not. It could be the turning point in his life, get him the hotel room to show, attend that job interview and turn his life around. Or it could be used for drugs, he goes on a rampage and murders a family of 3.

The universe works this way whether people admit it or not. Some INFJs just see the world for what it is - a massive bag of chaos where EVERY action and innaction has consequences, so choose your steps wisely.

I doesn't stop being that way just because we don't think about it. You can focus only on the here and now, but the other and beyond will always exist.
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I guess I am kind of saying that I don’t think that’s necessarily a terribly deep thought process. It might be *slightly* deeper than what a Walmart rabid Trump supporter would have watching Maury every weekend and lazily scratching their buttcrack (the very top of their very deep one) with Dorito cheese dust-covered fingers. But except for really prodigious cases, I don’t see how what you described is non-average. The Dorito buttcrack guy is more of an anomaly, actually.
 
barbad0s said:
I guess I am kind of saying that I don’t think that’s necessarily a terribly deep thought process. It might be *slightly* deeper than what a Walmart rabid Trump supporter would have watching Maury every weekend and lazily scratching their buttcrack (the very top of their very deep one) with Dorito cheese dust-covered fingers. But except for really prodigious cases, I don’t see how what you described is non-average. The Dorito buttcrack guy is more of an anomaly, actually.
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I dunno. I've spent a lot of time with the Vox Populi and the majority are busy worrying when their need fuck and feed will be, and how to get rich with no effort whilst complaining their inaction somehow isn't giving them the perfect life. They share stories of people they know and their moral failings whilst somehow ignoring their own moral failings which are equal if not greater than those they gossip about.

INFJ or not, there aren't many truely deep people. Anything that doesn't directly affect their lives isn't important for most people.

That is both depressing and boring as if people thought a little more and spoke a little less we might have a better world.
 
ReasonEnduring said:
I dunno. I've spent a lot of time with the Vox Populi and the majority are busy worrying when their need fuck and feed will be, and how to get rich with no effort whilst complaining their inaction somehow isn't giving them the perfect life. They share stories of people they know and their moral failings whilst somehow ignoring their own moral failings which are equal if not greater than those they gossip about.

INFJ or not, there aren't many truely deep people. Anything that doesn't directly affect their lives isn't important for most people.

That is both depressing and boring as if people thought a little more and spoke a little less we might have a better world.
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How is this different from what you’re doing right now talking about “the general public” i.e. “most people you know” like this though?

Have you managed to fix the problem you have with the average person? Have you built your bunker and isolated cult yet and are you typing this from there?
 
barbad0s said:
How is this different from what you’re doing right now talking about “the general public” i.e. “most people you know” like this though?

Have you managed to fix the problem you have with the average person? Have you built your bunker and isolated cult yet and are you typing this from there?
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*raises eyebrow*

You want to question my integrity? Very well.

Firstly, when I have the finance I plan to start a string of charities and businesses. They will help people, support those who need a helping hand, those who DO want to make a difference, in their lives and in others.

They lack the thing which I am also currently lacking, money.

Why do I lack money? I travelled half way around the world to marry the woman I love. The government of her country doesn't allow me to work so I am trapped without employment and limited funds.

However I have a plan in 3-5 years to become a citizen and gain voting rights, and also the rights to stand for political office (which I plan to do).

This is the second - I will run for public office and stand for the changes I want to see, even if people don't elect me in the end I will make my position and voice heard, making the arguments that need to be made.

I also plan to gather knowledge, science, whatever I can and preserve it incase the ignorance of the masses causes a societal collapse and anew Dark Age, thus allowing our recovery to be shorter.

Believe me, I have many plans for my 30s, 40s and 50s.

I believe with better education, supporting the worthy and preventing the needy from being corrupted by extremists we can build a better world.

Education is the key to turn the average person into something better than they currently are. And I will fund that education any way I can.
 
ReasonEnduring said:
*raises eyebrow*

You want to question my integrity? Very well.

Firstly, when I have the finance I plan to start a string of charities and businesses. They will help people, support those who need a helping hand, those who DO want to make a difference, in their lives and in others.

They lack the thing which I am also currently lacking, money.

Why do I lack money? I travelled half way around the world to marry the woman I love. The government of her country doesn't allow me to work so I am trapped without employment and limited funds.

However I have a plan in 3-5 years to become a citizen and gain voting rights, and also the rights to stand for political office (which I plan to do).

This is the second - I will run for public office and stand for the changes I want to see, even if people don't elect me in the end I will make my position and voice heard, making the arguments that need to be made.

I also plan to gather knowledge, science, whatever I can and preserve it incase the ignorance of the masses causes a societal collapse and anew Dark Age, thus allowing our recovery to be shorter.

Believe me, I have many plans for my 30s, 40s and 50s.

I believe with better education, supporting the worthy and preventing the needy from being corrupted by extremists we can build a better world.

Education is the key to turn the average person into something better than they currently are. And I will fund that education any way I can.
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TLDR. Yes, you’re so motivated to help the buttcrack scratchers who you’ve just sullied irreconcilably. I totally believe you. You’re just gonna use your cash for sipping Merlot and playing with fancy dildos at home in the empty Costco warehouse, sitting naked beside the deflated plastic pool. Don’t play with me.

Give a man a dollar indeed lol
 
barbad0s said:
TLDR. Yes, you’re so motivated to help the buttcrack scratchers who you’ve just sullied irreconcilably. I totally believe you. You’re just gonna use your cash for sipping Merlot and playing with fancy dildos at home in the empty Costco warehouse, sitting naked beside the deflated plastic pool. Don’t play with me.

Give a man a dollar indeed lol
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Someone is looking for a fight I see.

I didn't call them buttcrack scratchers, that's YOUR term.

The last few years have shown some questionable choices by the voting populace. They are at best woefully uninformed, and at worst deliberately ignorant and intent to continue to be so.

I can fix the uninformed, raising the average. The ignorant, well, some things you can't fix. But I'll always welcome anyone who will listen to scientific method and logical debate.

As for you -

So... What are you doing to make the world a better place?

I've outlined my plans. Please. Go ahead. Seize the moral highground.

What are YOU doing to help your fellow man, what are your long term plans?

This should be good.
 
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ReasonEnduring said:
Someone is looking for a fight I see.

I didn't call them buttcrack scratchers, that's YOUR term.

The average American voted for Trump. The average Brit voted for Brexit. They are at best woefully uninformed, and at worst deliberately ignorant and intent to continue to be so.

I can fix the uninformed, raising the average. The ignorant, well, some things you can't fix. But I'll always welcome anyone who will listen to scientific method and logical debate.

As for you -

So... What are you doing to make the world a better place?

I've outlined my plans. Please. Go ahead. Seize the moral highground.

What are YOU doing to help your fellow man, what are your long term plans?

This should be good.
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I said buttcrack scratchers referring to what I believe is only a tiny amount of the population.

You said this, which is even worse:

“the majority are busy worrying when their need fuck and feed will be, and how to get rich with no effort whilst complaining their inaction somehow isn't giving them the perfect life. They share stories of people they know and their moral failings whilst somehow ignoring their own moral failings which are equal if not greater than those they gossip about.”

So you literally believe the average person is that bad, and that “truely deep” people (note the typo) are very rare. So exactly what about what you said should make anyone be convinced that you’re motivated to help “your fellow man”?

I’ve also moved across the earth for someone. I’m smart enough to prepare and have an actual job and not mooch off my SO though. I studied Nonprofit Management as my major and have actually worked for said charities before, with high-caliber ambassadors and clients. I currently work in education. I teach kids and young people ESL and science. If you’re actually somewhat serious and think you have the guns then I welcome you to PM me and share your thoughts but from this short exchange I don’t feel like you’ve achieved the self-reflection required for it.
 
barbad0s said:
You’re just gonna use your cash for sipping Merlot and playing with fancy dildos at home in the empty Costco warehouse, sitting naked beside the deflated plastic pool.
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I'm voting for Trump in the hopes that this can be my life.
barbad0s said:
I’ve also moved across the earth for someone. I’m smart enough to prepare and have an actual job and not mooch off my SO though. I studied Nonprofit Management as my major and have actually worked for said charities before, with high-caliber ambassadors and clients.
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I'm impressed you turned a profit whilst working for a non-profit. You're very smart
 
Reason said:
I'm voting for Trump in the hopes that this can be my life.

I'm impressed you turned a profit whilst working for a non-profit. You're very smart
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I worked for them but they didn’t pay me (some NPOs do and some don’t). That’s why I work in education.
 
barbad0s said:
I said buttcrack scratchers referring to what I believe is only a tiny amount of the population. You said this, which is even worse:
“the majority are busy worrying when their need fuck and feed will be, and how to get rich with no effort whilst complaining their inaction somehow isn't giving them the perfect life. They share stories of people they know and their moral failings whilst somehow ignoring their own moral failings which are equal if not greater than those they gossip about.”

So you literally believe the average person is that bad, and that “truely deep” people (note the typo) are very rare.

I’ve also moved across the earth for someone. I’m smart enough to prepare and have an actual job and not mooch off my SO though. I studied Nonprofit Management as my major and have actually worked for said charities before, with high-caliber ambassadors and clients. I currently work in education. If you’re actually somewhat serious and think you have the guns then I welcome you to PM me and share your thoughts but from this short exchange I don’t feel like you’ve achieved the self-reflection required for it.
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And you prepared a strawman! How nice!

I'm not mooching off my SO. We're living off my savings. Thank you for your assumption though. I have been supporting my SO through her personal problems which is a bit hard to do half way around the world, but I prepared the best I could and I'm building a life for her to heal the scars the rest of the world put on her.

I do have a dim opinion of the average person because if the average person was a paragon of virtue we would be living in a better world.

We don't. Most people are driven by greed, selfishness. Its why I love my wife she is the least selfish person I know.

If we lived in a better world my wife wouldn't have had to suffer, and I wouldn't have had to fix her life.

I blame the rest of the world for ignoring her and until they pull themselves together, do whats right and help their fellow man I will judge them harshly.
 
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