Do you guys think I creep her out?

slant said:
I think folks short change themselves a lot because they wanted more moments, instead of appreciating what they did have.
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Yeah, during the moment I definitely was anxious and sort of wanted it to be over. However, by the time it was over I longed for it again.

I'm grateful to have spoken with her alone.
 
Pin said:
So I called her and she pretended that I had the wrong number. I was kind of mad so I just said bye and hung up.

Moving on now.
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It's hard when people aren't direct about their feelings. It makes it difficult to move forward because we don't want to make assumptions. These types of people try to "give a hint", to express what they are feeling without actually having to tell you.

Basically "mind reading expectation" that everyone interprets the same behavior as meaning the same thing.

I've had plenty of people tell me they weren't interested and move on. I've told people that, too.

I think there are some people who are afraid to be authentic and would rather avoid the risk of conflict. It's an avoidance behavior that is somewhat encouraged by our culture.
 
slant said:
It's hard when people aren't direct about their feelings. It makes it difficult to move forward because we don't want to make assumptions. These types of people try to "give a hint", to express what they are feeling without actually having to tell you.

Basically "mind reading expectation" that everyone interprets the same behavior as meaning the same thing.

I've had plenty of people tell me they weren't interested and move on. I've told people that, too.

I think there are some people who are afraid to be authentic and would rather avoid the risk of conflict. It's an avoidance behavior that is somewhat encouraged by our culture.
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Yes 100 times over! Both on how you and others you know handle it and what society is like generally!! :)
 
slant said:
It's hard when people aren't direct about their feelings. It makes it difficult to move forward because we don't want to make assumptions. These types of people try to "give a hint", to express what they are feeling without actually having to tell you.

Basically "mind reading expectation" that everyone interprets the same behavior as meaning the same thing.

I've had plenty of people tell me they weren't interested and move on. I've told people that, too.

I think there are some people who are afraid to be authentic and would rather avoid the risk of conflict. It's an avoidance behavior that is somewhat encouraged by our culture.
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Totally right.

At the end of the day though, I'll never be anyone else so I accept myself for who I am and I accept her for who she is. Being mad at her doesn't make me a better man, only actively bettering myself does.
 
slant said:
It's hard when people aren't direct about their feelings. It makes it difficult to move forward because we don't want to make assumptions. These types of people try to "give a hint", to express what they are feeling without actually having to tell you.

Basically "mind reading expectation" that everyone interprets the same behavior as meaning the same thing.

I've had plenty of people tell me they weren't interested and move on. I've told people that, too.

I think there are some people who are afraid to be authentic and would rather avoid the risk of conflict. It's an avoidance behavior that is somewhat encouraged by our culture.
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Yeah that always makes me chuckle.

This was one I got back in early March, from a girl I asked out in person after getting some signals from her (she said yes in person):

Hi Jamie, this is [GIRL]! I'm in the middle of a mad few weeks, trying to finish a chapter, a conference paper and summative marking, so I don't have time for coffee at the moment. Nice to meet a History PhD, I'd like to hear about your research some time

Lol, that was a pretty oblique one. 'I'd like to hear about your research. Are you hearing me? RESEARCH.'
 
acd said:
@Pin you're not alone in this sort of thing and someday you will meet someone who can't wait to take your calls. We've all been there in various ways.
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Yeah, I just need to keep improving myself. This experience gave me motivation again to keep getting better, keep attacking life, and to keep moving forward.
 
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