Do you hide parts of your self?

[Feelings]

I hide the INFJ-like side. Oftentimes I'm legit feeling INTJ or ENTP as expressed, but sometimes I'm feeling very strong loving sweet feelings. Such warm feelings are usually global when the mood arises, in that almost everyone is included.

Today I consciously realized that I am pondering the notion of forgiveness. What a great man I would be if I could do that. It's not as simple as just doing it though. It has to be genuine heartfelt forgiveness. I can't just do it temporarily. If I forgive, it would be very seriously so. It would come from deep within.

That I can be lazy and unethical in minor ways I hide as well.

 

[TinyBubbles]

Do you hide parts of your self/personality because you're afraid of the way others will respond or because you're worried that people will not be accepting?

yep, i hide my emotional vulnerability from others unless i know them or they've proven in some way they won't judge me for it or misunderstand. pretty sure i'm not the only one either

 

[Matariki]

Yes, I tend to hide parts of myself, I have walls.
Many people find it hard to tell that I'm autistic and have unipolar.

 

[Poetic Justice]

Yes I hide part of myself. I am a very emotional person but that doesn't come across to others..... I think. I get vibes and intuitions about all sorts of things and I definately keep that to myself.

People are usually horrified when I tell them about a feeling I get for something because they don't understand how I could know that and I can't explain it without sounding like a complete geek.

I am very much what could be called a "bleeding heart". The slightest little negavtive feeling in someone else is enough to make me feel all funny. I can't watch medical operations or things like that on tv because I feel it (in a limited way) happening to me as I'm watching it. If somoene I know is sad I feel myself welling up and have to take a time out.

For a six foot two, bald headed 30 year old bloke this aint cool.

 

[Gaze]

I'm mostly concerned about what revealing myself says about me.

Yeah, the same.

Just because you have flaws doesn't mean you have to throw them out there.

Yeah, learned this the hard way.

More on this, I have my own questions for everyone: do you consider the way you think and act when you are upset to be an actual side of your personality? I have a hard time reconciling if how I am when I am mad is another side of myself, or rather me through a filter of stress.

This is something i wonder because when i'm not stressed, like most people i think, i'm a different person - more laid back and relaxed. But we all have varied aspects to ourselves or personality, so i can't say that who i am under stress is me or not me. But i know that i'd probably be a little different if that stress wasn't present.

On the other hand, if someone insults or wrongs me for no reason and I'm standing up for myself, an angry response would feel like it was coming straight from the heart. And thus totally part of me.

Hmm... makes me think.

Yeah, this is true. It really depends on the reason for the anger.

 

[KazeCraven]

More on this, I have my own questions for everyone: do you consider the way you think and act when you are upset to be an actual side of your personality? I have a hard time reconciling if how I am when I am mad is another side of myself, or rather me through a filter of stress. I often don't like how I behave when I am mad but see the actions as foreign, not as some deep dark self coming out that must be repressed. Anyone else feel the same?

I see it as a part of myself that I haven't chosen to own yet, or am working against. Sometimes I see it as foreign, but usually not.

 

[DoveAlexa]

I see it as a part of myself that I haven't chosen to own yet, or am working against. Sometimes I see it as foreign, but usually not.

Yeah I can feel that way. Usually when I am fighting injustice on a small scale the anger from that is something I feel is me, and other ones I surely do not want to own, something like what [MENTION=2412]MrWindUpBird[/MENTION] said. Whether or not they are me is still up for debate. I never act the same way over a long stretch of time, when I am angry in a foreign way, which is why I am suspicious of it.

 

[NeverAmI]

do you consider the way you think and act when you are upset to be an actual side of your personality?

I feel completely accountable and responsible for myself when I am upset, I am often filtering my anger through Ti, which often calms me down. I am not happy about my personality when I am upset, but I don't feel any detachment from it.

 

[bagelriffic]

More on this, I have my own questions for everyone: do you consider the way you think and act when you are upset to be an actual side of your personality? I have a hard time reconciling if how I am when I am mad is another side of myself, or rather me through a filter of stress. I often don't like how I behave when I am mad but see the actions as foreign, not as some deep dark self coming out that must be repressed. Anyone else feel the same?

I see it as a part of myself that I haven't chosen to own yet, or am working against.

yeah i think the idea of doing something that "isn't you" has roots in our unwillingness to acknowledge it as such. i think everything i do, anger, sadness, happiness, every act i make is nothing but me. how could it be anything else? the anger generated inside of us is there for a reason, its connected to us just as any other emotion or behavior is. when we condemn these things, or say "that isn't me" its almost as if we want to disown what we ourselves are responsible for. accept everything as yourself, then you can start understanding Why, but if we don't acknowledge it, we are just doomed to repeat that which we don't feel we have control over or aren't responsible for in the first place.

 

[rawr]

yes, to some extent.

 

[Nixie]

I find that I tend to hide more of my thinking process--there is a lot of junk that happens in my mind between point A and B. I find that my intuition is not really understood and the way I organize/manage my thinking is odd. I hide the weird things that pop in and out of my brain. I hide the freaky accurate knowledge I get about people when I interact in person with them.

As I have gotten older I have also learned that discretion is the greater part of valor. I have never been the kind of person to blurt out everything about my life anyway but I am much more discreet about what I say to whom. I think it comes from understanding that I don't need people to validate who I am--if I want to share part of myself with somebody, that is different. I think some people share so much because they feel the need to justify or explain themselves. I'm okay with the fact that there will people who don't like me.

 

[freybell]

i'm actually not that shy, though many people mistake my silence for not wanting to talk to them. It's not that at all; it's more me trying to think of something that would be meaningful to say.

I usually save my opinionated side for when I get to know someone very well

+1

And I don't consciously hide parts of myself... but I do worry a lot about how people might respond/whether they'll accept me. So I sort of tailor what I say and how I act around different groups... and all that thinking leads me to be a lot quieter than I really want to be.

 

[Barliman]

Hiding myself

In many ways I am very open.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and I found that being very open about the diagnosis actually got people looking out for times when I was backsliding into inattentive or diaorganised behaviour.

The catch is though that human personality is very deep and complex. Especially when typing or talking it is virtually impossible not to give a false impression of oneself. The gestalt is always far deeper that a few lines of words.
That was the point of the transmission of Zen- when the Buddha was asked the meaning of enlightenment. He held up a flower and smiled. Only one guy got it. The transmission of what became the Zen tradition was passed down from that man.

In truth the world is full of narrow minded people who get their exercise by jumping to conclusions. It is wise to only let the elect see the deeper sides of yourself. There are plenty of judgmental people who will grasp on to some incomplete view of your personality and try to attack you on the basis of their deluded view of who you are.

 

[Meridian]

People are usually horrified when I tell them about a feeling I get for something because they don't understand how I could know that and I can't explain it without sounding like a complete geek.

I am very much what could be called a "bleeding heart". The slightest little negavtive feeling in someone else is enough to make me feel all funny. I can't watch medical operations or things like that on tv because I feel it (in a limited way) happening to me as I'm watching it.

I'm the same.

Yeah, I'd have to say I hide parts of myself - it's caused a lot of problems in the past with people complaining I'm too 'secretive'. I don't see myself as being cagey or hiding anything - I just don't feel the need to tell people every tiny detail of my life. Sometimes though, I can be mistaken for being quite extroverted by some people. It's interesting when one person comes to me complaining about how cryptic and reserved I am and then have someone else say they love my openness. Meh. MPD anyone?

 

[Gaze]

I'm the same.

Yeah, I'd have to say I hide parts of myself - it's caused a lot of problems in the past with people complaining I'm too 'secretive'. I don't see myself as being cagey or hiding anything - I just don't feel the need to tell people every tiny detail of my life.

I used to be "open" but not as much anymore. People see me as the opposite because i don't reveal as much.

 

[DoveAlexa]

There have been times when I was a kid that I was extremely open and very positive about everything I said about myself. It was the best time of my life, I hope I can get back to that.
Though on one side it hurt my socializing because everyone thought that I was too busy for them, hard to explain. I can't really understand what was going on in their heads more than maybe I made myself sound too good and they thought that I wouldn't be interested in them? Pretty wrong but what can you do?

 

[BlinkandThink]

Yeah, I hide parts of myself ... I don't ever present anything that's not there, but I censor myself quite a bit. I wouldn't say anyone gets a false picture (of course, what happens within their own minds is out of my hands), but it's easy to get an incomplete one.

I reign in my Ne sprints, as a courtesy, because some people find them annoying. I also avoid discussing my feelings unless I have to ... but I'll do it if I feel safe. And I think blunt, rude things that I don't say because I'd rather censor myself than hurt someone or dump negativity into the world ... but sometimes I'll just say them anyway.

 

[aeon]

Do you hide parts of your self/personality because you're afraid of the way others will respond or because you're worried that people will not be accepting?

Yes, I do this. I have done it all my life.

As a child, I was regularly told I was unacceptable. For a long time I believed this to be true of my self. In time I came to understand that thinking that way made life difficult for me.

I learned to accept and love my own person, as I am. This made for a better life.

That said, it took a long time and a lot of work to reach that place of self-acceptance. As such, I don't have any reasonable sense or idea that anyone else would accept or love me as I am, so I hide those parts of myself that correspond to others' expression as it regards those things they woulld judge. Sometimes the expression on my part happens first, and the feedback I receive is judgemental. To the degree I am able, I choose not to express in that way again. Sometimes the negative judgement on others' part comes first, and so to the degree I am able, I choose not to express in that way to begin with.

I feel hurt when I am judged for my person, so I try and avoid that experience by hiding parts of myself away.

If someone expresses that they do not value something I have expressed, that's OK with me because they are sharing of their experience and not judging my person.

I dunno - sometimes I feel sad for hiding away, but I am afraid of feeling hurt, so I do it. I had to do it when I was llittle so I have a lot of experience, and I do it very well.

I'm probably hidden from myself in some ways that I don't even know about, all because I am seeking to protect my person from my self.

---

tl;dr - So yes, I do this. I have done it all my life.


cheers,
Ian

 

[aeon]

I have my own questions for everyone: do you consider the way you think and act when you are upset to be an actual side of your personality?

Absolutely. When I am upset I am still me, but upset. How I express in those times is part of my personality, and I am responsible for how I feel and choose to act in those times.


cheers,
Ian

 

[Barliman]

The bigger question is "do we hide parts of ourselves from ourselves, and how can we possibly be aware enough of all the parts of ourselves not to do so?"