Does changing to fit society means compromising who you are?

Dragon said:
Not really. A change in immaterial culture (norms, customs) follows a change in material culture, and change in material culture is dependent primarily upon the advancement of technology, which really can't be stopped at this point.

Small changes can be made, but for the most part your life and who you are is predetermined. At least, in most of the important aspects, your life course was determined before you were born.

We even almost all accept very similar or the same sets of values given the kinds of societies we live in.

Plus, it is almost impossible to be an individualist without conforming to something else, unless you want to be a total freak and look stupid, in which case nobody will associate with you (and very few people want to experience such social rejection).
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Okay, but there are many different subcultures even within a single community, and even then there is room for grating on people or even starting your own subculture. Perhaps most people won't associate with you nearby, but that doesn't mean there aren't other groups elsewhere who would be accepting. Also, there are varying degrees of "fitting in," so we might decide to be a little nonconformist at the expense of having many people avoid us.

Also, the kinds of things that are absorbed by virtually everyone, such as, say, a cultural norm to shake hands in greeting, aren't really the types of things that would compromise who we are anyway. I think part of maturing is recognizing that there are certain things that keep a society running and certain norms which are trivial nuisances but which make things run much smoother if we agree to them. However, what I am interested in is when people change beyond that.
 
KazeCraven said:
Okay, but there are many different subcultures even within a single community, and even then there is room for grating on people or even starting your own subculture. Perhaps most people won't associate with you nearby, but that doesn't mean there aren't other groups elsewhere who would be accepting. Also, there are varying degrees of "fitting in," so we might decide to be a little nonconformist at the expense of having many people avoid us.

Also, the kinds of things that are absorbed by virtually everyone, such as, say, a cultural norm to shake hands in greeting, aren't really the types of things that would compromise who we are anyway. I think part of maturing is recognizing that there are certain things that keep a society running and certain norms which are trivial nuisances but which make things run much smoother if we agree to them. However, what I am interested in is when people change beyond that.
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Agree. I think some of the social compromises we're asked to make aren't really necessary. What i've noticed is that there is actually less tolerance of anything which doesn't fit the current and popular modes of thought or way of thinking. This often means that more accommodations are expected, meaning less compromises, and that everyone should simply sacrifice more and more to fit in. I'm seeing a disappearance of the self in modern society.
 
I agree with Anita.

Like for example being sick. When you have a little cold or something that doesn't knock you down completely, it is not accepted to stay home and rest. You can still do your job while having a cold so there is no reason not to. But if you think about it, why do you have a cold in the first place. It is a sign from your body that says that you have to take it down a bit. It is a warning that says it is time for you to stop and listen to your body and give it what it needs, rest. But we don't listen to it so our illnesses grow and grow in other directions until they get so big (like cancer or depression) that we can't deal with them anymore.

I feel like I'm pushed in a direction that leads me farther away from myself

are am I going off topic now? :becky:
 
This is a topic I've been struggling with a lot lately. Should I be someone else in order to fit in better professionally and socially? Should I be someone else in order to attract women? I guess there's a balance to be found somewhere, although lately I would prefer people just accept me for who I am. However, just me never seems enough.
 
Of course changing to fit into society means compromising yourself. This is required for people to live in this world. If we do not change who we are depending on the cirumstances we won't be able to do what we need to do and relate to people we need to relate to. It only becomes problamatic if you have to bend yourself beyond what is reasonable for you and what is expected from others.
 
I think Indigo is correct.

I mean, all you have to do is look at the situations that some immigrants find themselves in. Being subject to a new language, new laws and new values changes who they are, or at least changes the ways in whitch they express who they are.

but at the same time, society shapes who we are. it doesn't matter if you conform or reject it.
 
I think change and compromise are a natural byproduct of socialization. Everything that happens to us in our younger years (from the moment of our birth) is designed to "socialize" which is to teach us the norms and values of the people we live with and the community we belong to.

I think the difference is that some people refuse to "grow up" and live their lives like sponges--soaking up whatever they come in contact with rather than making active choices. Compromise and agreement are the hallmarks of a social being. The only decision you have to make is whether you will be a true man or woman and make those choices yourself and face the consequences of those choices or whether you will be passive and see your life as out of your control.
 
As long as the choice's still mine, and I'm not regretting it (in near future; for the future is never ours to predict), I think we're still growing in ourselves.

As long as we're still growing in ourselves, I don't think that's compromising. To say otherwise would also mean to be stagnant; to prevent growth.

and what [MENTION=3096]Sonyab[/MENTION]; said.
 
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