Easily manipulated?

[randomsomeone]

How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?

The phrase "wise as serpents and gentle as doves" springs to mind.

I personally also think we need to understand very well that we are caretakers of our own gifts and human capacities. Allowing those to be misused would be unacceptible, as it would be for anything, or anybody, we care for. Putting ourselves also in that category might awaken other traits/awarenesses that we might be able to employ to be more alert to manipulations.

Ill-intended manipulation is not good for anybody....I like to shut it down asap. If it is not ill-intended and more benign, well I might tolerate some game-playing for fun.

 

[Skoffin]

It seems to be easy to manipulate me emotionally, as such I assume everything is A TRAP from the get go. It's come to the point that even when I do start to get close to someone I will still assume something bad is coming or that I'm being used.

Long, long history of such bollocks. From family, to boyfriend, to prospective partners and to even many of my close friends. As such I have a very cynical view of people and no longer keep many close friends anymore.

 

[Roger]

It seems to be easy to manipulate me emotionally, as such I assume everything is A TRAP from the get go. It's come to the point that even when I do start to get close to someone I will still assume something bad is coming or that I'm being used.

Same here. Sometimes i feel that i am being used, but when i try to get the truth, it comes total different. I am not being used.

But i have 3-4 enough best friends. Thank god for this.

 

[surreality]

So, are you easily manipulated? If so, how?

Is there a history of betrayal, mistrust, abuse which lead to this? or was it something else?

For those who've recovered from this, how did you come to recognize, learn from it, and heal?

How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?

I'm a very intuitive person and I've always felt confident in my super duper bullshit detector. But yes, I have been manipulated. Anyone can be, if they don't know their own weaknesses. There are some masters of the trade out there.

I'm actually learning from this right now, so I'm still working on what I've learned and how it can not happen again, but I'll share what I've come up with so far.

Manipulation is a power play. It's basically one person doing whatever is in their means to get what they want. Period. If they had any consideration for your needs or wants, they would be straightforward and cooperative, as opposed to manipulative.

So bearing that in mind, we have to realize that manipulation is never good. It doesn't matter if as some people have said, we know sometimes that people are being underhanded, passive aggressive, sneaky, manipulative, and we "go along" because we make excuses for them, it's STILL a power play and the other person has the upper hand.

So, following from that, if we go along we are giving our own power away.

That's my first point about manipulation ----> NEVER, EVER give your power away. You will lose your self respect, no matter how trivial you might think it is, it's never trivial to give the power of yourself to someone else.

K...now...how not to be manipulated....

Know this:

The manipulator will know your weakness...your Achilles Heal.
The manipulator will play to your weakness.

For INFJs our weaknesses lie in our sensing and our need to be saviours.

If you know this about yourself, than when someone comes along and starts playing to those in a noticable way, rest assured they are up to NO GOOD and you are being undermined.

So, if someone is encouraging you to drink more alcohol, do more drugs, constantly inundating you with sensory stimuli (ie. they never STFU, they are extremely sexually seductive..they can't get enough of you), they play what I like to call the Stealthy Ninja or the Pushy Salesman. These are all ploys to our very weak Se.

Beware.

Or...if they very soon start telling you a sob story and always, always need you...tell you that you are the ONLY one that can help them...there is NO ONE else that can.

Beware.

They are playing to your weaknesses.



That's what I've got so far.

 

[youhemmein]

Yes, very easily manipulated. I sometimes even know when it's happening and don't do anything to stop it.
I despise people who prey upon the insecure or vulnerable. It isn't right.

 

[drsolace]

It seems to be easy to manipulate me emotionally, as such I assume everything is A TRAP from the get go. It's come to the point that even when I do start to get close to someone I will still assume something bad is coming or that I'm being used.

Same here.

 

[laurie]

I think, for me, it's more a matter of letting people get way with too much, especially my sister.
She tries to get me to do things for her even though she's in a better position to do so or it has nothing to do with me. A good example of allowing her to do something unreasonable is today when I tried to write and essay but she said she needed the kitchen table so, after telling her it was unreasonable, I moved to the kitchen surface and wrote the whole plan standing up. Afterwards though, I just moved to the table to write the essay.
Lots of the time, my friends ask me to do unreasonable things (although mostly my sister) and I do them because they don't really bother me, but if I don't agree with what they want me to do or have something else to do I will argue for a long time over it and will absolutely not do something if I really don't want to.
Maybe it's just being kind of uncaring/not being bothered by things easily? (I wouldn't call it apathy though)

 

[enfp can be shy]

I'm ENFP, hellooooo?... Of course it's easy as pie to make me do anything wrong. The positive side is, you can also manipulate me to do good (and difficult) things.

Beware, though, I might suspect, sometimes. But my suspicion is hardly stronger than the suspicion that Winnie the Pooh suspects the bees could suspect him with.

 

[Moxie]

I've been manipulated before... and the crazy thing is, 90% (Ni) I knew when it was happening but I chose to let it happen. I had no one to blame but myself.

I think people assume I would be easy to manipulate because I'm nice and I like to help out. For some reason, that seems to correspond to the term "doormat" in people's minds. And maybe it's true. Woot, go poor self-esteem/not giving a damn to stand up for myself.

But sometimes, its fun to lay low and turn the tables at the last minute and pull that same doormat right from underneath them. Especially if the person has amazingly selfish reasons for their manipulative behaviour.

Me too! This says it perfectly.

I am easy to manipulate though - pull a guilt string, and I'm all over it. I'm also gullible enough to realize I'm gullible - I expect people to have the same intentions as myself, and when they don't I get surprised (why haven't I learned by now!!!???)

I get madder than anything when I realize it though, and you're off my list for good.

<--- does not forgive manipulation easily... or ever....