Ego Traps

[Trifoilum]

Yes! This is why empathy is such a useful tool in overcoming the egotrap.

Unless you fall in the ego trap of kindness. XD "Ew, you don't have sympathy towards the weak and suffering? What a monster."

So I guess what it comes down to is as long as we are comparing or we feel the need to validate ourselves by some external measure, we will be caught in an ego trap.

Yes but wait.

You also can fall to ego traps when you don't see yourself within some external measure.
It's a "HAHAHA I AM TOTALLY AWESOME I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS SAY OTHERS SUCKS I DON'T PROOF WHAT PROOF" kind of megalomania. The special snowflake syndrome, a big fish in small pond kind of mentality.

I would say the key is balance, but I lack experience to make that claim.

It is only when we get to the point where we have genuine self worth and self love, we will not need any external validation. and ironically, when we get to this stage, the external will probably automatically validate the internal anyway because the outer world is a manifestation of the innerworld. So basically when we are completely congruent- we will stop judging others when we learn to stop judging ourselves. We can be compassionate with others when we are compassionate with ourselves.

Now this, I agree.

An eye can see but cannot see itself except though its reflections in other people or objects. When we look aorund the world, we see our thoughts, our mind and our heart. When we can relate and understand that what we see on the outside is a manifestation of whats going on the inside- and yes- that is a painful and difficult process- we begin to see how we can resolve our inner turmoils and create a more beautiful world and find peace. A world that is more congruent with our deepest and truest desires, rather than a world that simply represents our fears and insecurities

And yes, I agree.

The thing I noticed is this-- judging others feels wonderful. People said it's self-affirming. I can attest it myself that yes, it reinforces my self worth.
But in a boot stomp on the face kind of way.
And I ought to constantly put my boot on other's face and keep it that way.
On one person. two. Three. A hundred. A whole community.
Soon no matter how many legs I had, it's going to be USELESS, people are going to escape my boot and then shine above me and the my faux, fragile self-worth crumbles like a badly done cookie.

 

[Quiet]

Unless you fall in the ego trap of kindness. XD "Ew, you don't have sympathy towards the weak and suffering? What a monster."

Absolutely!

You also can fall to ego traps when you don't see yourself within some external measure.
It's a "HAHAHA I AM TOTALLY AWESOME I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS SAY OTHERS SUCKS I DON'T PROOF WHAT PROOF" kind of megalomania. The special snowflake syndrome, a big fish in small pond kind of mentality.

I would say the key is balance, but I lack experience to make that claim.

I agree completely. And i think what happens there is either an inability to 'feel' or care about the state of the external - psychopathy, anti-social disorder, or simply sometimes a state of learned helplessness and withdrawal from the external world.

The thing I noticed is this-- judging others feels wonderful. People said it's self-affirming. I can attest it myself that yes, it reinforces my self worth.
But in a boot stomp on the face kind of way.
And I ought to constantly put my boot on other's face and keep it that way.
On one person. two. Three. A hundred. A whole community.
Soon no matter how many legs I had, it's going to be USELESS, people are going to escape my boot and then shine above me and the my faux, fragile self-worth crumbles like a badly done cookie.

Lol. I guess its like a hand that you can hold, but that hand holds you down. Or like using a crutch, something that you become dependant on and can use to get around with, but the broken limb never gets the chance to get stronger and heal.

 

[Trifoilum]

I agree completely. And i think what happens there is either an inability to 'feel' or care about the state of the external - psychopathy, anti-social disorder, or simply sometimes a state of learned helplessness and withdrawal from the external world.

Sometimes I see it as something simple; the wrong kind of confidence.
But others you mentioned can work as well-- in a more tragic kind of way.

Lol. I guess its like a hand that you can hold, but that hand holds you down. Or like using a crutch, something that you become dependant on and can use to get around with, but the broken limb never gets the chance to get stronger and heal.

Don't we all have those? XD;

 

[Matt3737]

I find the idea of overcoming ego traps or false humility to be misleading. It is more or less an equilibrium between opposing forces. In some instances it may be better to be intolerant or pass judgment upon others if they pose a significant danger or threat in their beliefs or actions.

The Paradox of Tolerating the Intolerant

Buddhism expresses the desire to liberate itself from desire. A paradox in and of itself:

Thought and Imagery in Theravada Buddhism." Cambridge University Press, 1982, page 251: "In the end, the flowing streams of sense-desire must be 'cut' or 'crossed' completely; nevertheless, for the duration of the Path, a monk must perforce work with motivational and perceptual processes as they ordinarily are, that is to say, based on desire ... Thus, during mental training, the stream is not to be 'cut' immediately, but guided, like water along viaducts. The meditative steadying of the mind by counting in- and out-breaths (in the mindfulness of breathing) is compared to the steadying of a boat in 'a fierce current' by its rudder. The disturbance of the flow of a mountain stream by irrigation channels cut into its sides it used to illustrate the weakening of insight by the five 'hindrances'."

I find all things to be as they are; even in my desires to change them or by my acceptance. I believe it is an unwillingness to accept bias and failure as a normative that need not be overcome that is at the heart of the issue to protect one's ego.

 

[JGirl]

my first thought when i read the words 'ego trap' was that the phrase doesn't make sense to me.
my idea of ego is that we all have one and it's a necessary and important part of being a human being. it's the bridge between our spirit and our mortal body if you will
the way we allow our ego to govern our actions, thoughts and feelings can be positive or negative but it doesn't mean we are ever in a trap so to speak. being spiritually aware will keep the ego from getting too far in control in my experience.
i see ego as the personality, and spirit as the core of me, the human being.

 

[JGirl]

As the writer of the blog in question, I'm admittedly biased here, but I have to ask...let's say you're right. Let's say I am indeed whiny, smarmy, very egotistical and very butthurt. Let's say every last thing you accuse me of is correct. What on earth does that have to do with the content of my ideas and whether they're true or false? I could be all of those things and still be correct about the ego trap concept and may still be saying something of value.

What you just did was nothing but an arrogant, egotistical, smarmy, butthurt strawman attack. How is the fact I ask for donations relevant to the actual content of the piece? What is the point of pointing it out other than to advance some more evidence for my supposed inferiority, and by implication, you supposed superiority? Me asking for donations is totally irrelevant to my article and it's irrelevant to the discussion the OP wants to have. You just brought it up, along with the rest of your strawman attacks, to boost up your already inflated ego. The whole comment is just smug and arrogant, which is maybe why my own smugness and arrogance struck such a chord in you. Jung's shadow and what not.



Kind of like how your whole post is an exercise in egotistically displaying your own superiority and being smug and judgmental, yet you are criticizing others for those traits. It seems I'm not the only one who ironically describes traits I'm guilt of. Although to your credit, what you are doing may not be an example of the ego trap. The ego trap is when a person is trying to act enlightened and that attempt to be enlightened ends up just becoming another way to be smug and arrogant and superior. You on the other hand don't even seem to be trying to be anything but smug, arrogant, judgmental, and superior, so you may actually be more intellectually honest than most of us in a weird way.



Again, a passive-aggressive way to brag.

First you say: "The second article is better, but it's nothing mindblowing." [Translation: "To YOU peons this may be saying something, but to superior mind like mind it's barely even worth the effort to click my mouse."]

Second: "The word ego trap to me means anything one uses to avoid truly facing themself. It creates overcompensation." [Translation: "Now that I've dismissed the two links as being inferior, and implied that the rest of you are inferior for seeing anything of value in them, let me display my own superiority by lecturing you with my own, obviously better definition."

Your whole comment wasn't so much interested in advancing the content of the discussion but in using the content of the discussion to advance the case for how superior to everyone you are.

To the original poster Triloilium: that second article was pretty good. Thanks for sharing it.

wow
herbal tea
stat

 

[JGirl]

OMG. This has really gone to crap on a cracker :becky:

View attachment 16684

oooh! finger crackers!

 

[Trifoilum]

I find the idea of overcoming ego traps or false humility to be misleading.

A passing idea: overcoming, yes. It's just another way of playing.

In some ways ego has a way to-- aikido all the attempts.

It is more or less an equilibrium between opposing forces. In some instances it may be better to be intolerant or pass judgment upon others if they pose a significant danger or threat in their beliefs or actions.

Now this I don't know.

The Paradox of Tolerating the Intolerant

looks good, but damn that's long >_< Sorry to say I'm passing this for a while, though?

Buddhism expresses the desire to liberate itself from desire. A paradox in and of itself:

I find all things to be as they are; even in my desires to change them or by my acceptance. I believe it is an unwillingness to accept bias and failure as a normative that need not be overcome that is at the heart of the issue to protect one's ego.

Can you clarify the last sentence?

my first thought when i read the words 'ego trap' was that the phrase doesn't make sense to me.
my idea of ego is that we all have one and it's a necessary and important part of being a human being. it's the bridge between our spirit and our mortal body if you will

It's true, we all have one, and it -is- good. But like how eating can be bad, ego can be bad.

the way we allow our ego to govern our actions, thoughts and feelings can be positive or negative but it doesn't mean we are ever in a trap so to speak. being spiritually aware will keep the ego from getting too far in control in my experience.
i see ego as the personality, and spirit as the core of me, the human being.

And that is essentially, true.

For this one I can only explain from my experience...and in mine, I've seen these traps.


Warning : Rambling here.
====

IME, there are certain--things, certain happenings, certain thoughts and ideas that functioned essentially to reaffirm the ego; to tell myself that 'you're doing good', 'you're not worthless', 'you're making the right choice'.....by comparing myself, my choice, my actions, with others.

Ego-stroking.
It is a trap because it's something that tend to be 'elevating'; something that were supposed to elevate yourself, to contain the ego.
Kindness, knowledge, certain beliefs, achieving something. Freeing yourself from the clutch of the media, evil government, the majority. One mistake and you congratulate yourself for making those choices, for picking those traits; for -your- decision, rather than the good it brings ("Yay me for being an atheist!" rather than "Yay, being freed from the irrationality of religions!")
Then you went one step farther and judge others who aren't following your path ("pssh, why are you following some old people's imagination?"), your direction ("What a fluffy atheist."), etc, etc.
Then you went one step farther and avoid others because they are dirty, unenlightened creatures that will defile you.

A thing that was supposed to free ourselves from our problems, our ego, ended up being another pawn of ego instead.
The controller becomes the controlled.
Me and my ego ended up focusing upon those ideas and thoughts and how to expand it, how to protect it, rather than....me. Me and the world.

 

[JGirl]

A passing idea: overcoming, yes. It's just another way of playing.



It's true, we all have one, and it -is- good. But like how eating can be bad, ego can be bad.

ego isn't bad anymore than food is bad. ego does not have traps any more than food can trap you into getting fat

 

[Paladin-X]

ego isn't bad anymore than food is bad. ego does not have traps any more than food can trap you into getting fat

No, but expose food for too long and it goes bad.

 

[Kgal]

As the writer of the blog in question, I'm admittedly biased here, but I have to ask...let's say you're right. Let's say I am indeed whiny, smarmy, very egotistical and very butthurt. Let's say every last thing you accuse me of is correct. What on earth does that have to do with the content of my ideas and whether they're true or false? I could be all of those things and still be correct about the ego trap concept and may still be saying something of value.

What you just did was nothing but an arrogant, egotistical, smarmy, butthurt strawman attack. How is the fact I ask for donations relevant to the actual content of the piece? What is the point of pointing it out other than to advance some more evidence for my supposed inferiority, and by implication, you supposed superiority? Me asking for donations is totally irrelevant to my article and it's irrelevant to the discussion the OP wants to have. You just brought it up, along with the rest of your strawman attacks, to boost up your already inflated ego. The whole comment is just smug and arrogant, which is maybe why my own smugness and arrogance struck such a chord in you. Jung's shadow and what not.



Kind of like how your whole post is an exercise in egotistically displaying your own superiority and being smug and judgmental, yet you are criticizing others for those traits. It seems I'm not the only one who ironically describes traits I'm guilt of. Although to your credit, what you are doing may not be an example of the ego trap. The ego trap is when a person is trying to act enlightened and that attempt to be enlightened ends up just becoming another way to be smug and arrogant and superior. You on the other hand don't even seem to be trying to be anything but smug, arrogant, judgmental, and superior, so you may actually be more intellectually honest than most of us in a weird way.



Again, a passive-aggressive way to brag.

First you say: "The second article is better, but it's nothing mindblowing." [Translation: "To YOU peons this may be saying something, but to superior mind like mind it's barely even worth the effort to click my mouse."]

Second: "The word ego trap to me means anything one uses to avoid truly facing themself. It creates overcompensation." [Translation: "Now that I've dismissed the two links as being inferior, and implied that the rest of you are inferior for seeing anything of value in them, let me display my own superiority by lecturing you with my own, obviously better definition."

Your whole comment wasn't so much interested in advancing the content of the discussion but in using the content of the discussion to advance the case for how superior to everyone you are.

To the original poster Triloilium: that second article was pretty good. Thanks for sharing it.

The OP was asking us what we think. If acd shares what she thinks - so be it. You are putting words in her thoughts. If you cannot handle criticism of your writing - don't share it.

 

[ThisIsWhoIAm]

I think that in today's western world, full of brainwashing commercials and twisted ideals of power, it's very easy to become fully driven by ego. If one wants to control his ego and not his ego to control him, it's necessary in my opinion to do at least a few minutes of inner observing, by meditating or doing some form of relaxing activity, and revaluing your thoughts / actions daily. Without this, it's almost inevitable to fall to the biggest ego trap, which is the 'ideal' western fantasy(maybe more american than just western in general, but hey, america is the most influential western country there is right now) of big expensive cars, big expensive houses and big expensive everything else.

 

[Paladin-X]

I couldn't quite figure out how to put into words what I wanted to say about this topic [MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION], so I'll try pictures:

 

[the]

ego isn't bad anymore than food is bad. ego does not have traps any more than food can trap you into getting fat

How would you label/describe the phenomena that that [MENTION=6839]Tee[/MENTION] is writing about then?

-------

I dont know why it is all of a sudden frowned upon for an author of a work to come to the forum and defend their ideas. Since when did you guys become so closed minded? ACD is not mentally disabled, she can defend herself on an internet forum. Let her have her dignity, and stop chasing others away.

 

[Paladin-X]

I dont know why it is all of a sudden frowned upon for an author of a work to come to the forum and defend their ideas. Since when did you guys become so closed minded? ACD is not mentally disabled, she can defend herself on an internet forum. Let her have her dignity, and stop chasing others away.

It's not that the author came to defend their ideas, it's how much the author overreacted to such a ridiculous extent to acd's post. If anything, the author was being close-minded. It reminds me of Adymus' reaction to my response to his pod'lair video.

I do agree, however, that we don't all need to jump down [MENTION=6839]Tee[/MENTION]'s throat. What's done is done.

@No one in particular
Can we please drop the incident and move forward in [MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION]'s discussion?

 

[the]

It's not that the author came to defend their ideas, it's how much the author overreacted to such a ridiculous extent to acd's post. If anything, the author was being close-minded.

What made it an over reaction, that he had a few paragraphs of clearly typed out rebuttal compared to her couple of condescending sentences? Or ... what? I think he might appear closed minded considering he is the subject matter expert on his work, should he have explained more? If he did he'd probably have been perceived as over reacting even more!

How should he have reacted to someone slamming his thoughts and theories on the subject? I thought it was appropriate and GREAT that the actual author would show up to be available to discuss their ideas further but you (a a couple others) seem to just want to banish the outsider.

 

[Paladin-X]

What made it an over reaction, that he had a few paragraphs of clearly typed out rebuttal compared to her couple of condescending sentences? Or ... what? I think he might appear closed minded considering he is the subject matter expert on his work, should he have explained more? If he did he'd probably have been perceived as over reacting even more!

How should he have reacted to someone slamming his thoughts and theories on the subject? I thought it was appropriate and GREAT that the actual author would show up to be available to discuss their ideas further but you (a a couple others) seem to just want to banish the outsider.

Haha ok. We'll just have to agree to disagree. Or not.

:focus:

 

[JGirl]

How would you label/describe the phenomena that that [MENTION=6839]Tee[/MENTION] is writing about then?

-------

I dont know why it is all of a sudden frowned upon for an author of a work to come to the forum and defend their ideas. Since when did you guys become so closed minded? ACD is not mentally disabled, she can defend herself on an internet forum. Let her have her dignity, and stop chasing others away.

i wouldn't label it anything
i read very little of that - it was poorly written and verbose. not to mention that it really was more a rant than anything.
an author of a blog shouldn't be prowling the internet to see who is saying what. that's a bit 'egotistical' lol
if you are going to blog you should expect a myriad of different attitudes about what it is you have to say. you don't go following people around the internet to bitch them out because of their ideas about what you said.
in any case not sure why you felt it necessary to post to me with this query.
i never made any comment to this person, nor am i the least bit interested in any discourse with them on this topic.

 

[JGirl]

No, but expose food for too long and it goes bad.

not following how this is relevant to the analogy, sorry

 

[Paladin-X]

not following how this is relevant to the analogy, sorry

I'll be honest. Me neither. It sounded good at the time.

Maybe too much exposure to the ego causes one to get trapped in the ego trap? It causes narcissistic rot, overreactive defenses mechanisms, other complexes. Or something like that.