Emotional Control

[aeon]

Just curious my friend.....about anger directed at you personally?

I don't understand what you asked me here. Do you mean other peoples' feelings as expressed to my person? If so, no worries about that, as that is outside of my control.


cheers,
Ian

 

[aeon]

Every single emotion that passes through me I process to see if it is valid or warrented.

Emotions come and go. The fact they do makes them valid. Whether they are warranted or not is beside the point. Emotions don't answer to one's desires or wishes, or sense of things.

The issue with me is if it does not pass that test, then I will attempt to change it. Simple things that require a small change I can do fine. It is major things that I have a problem with and I become extremely flustered when I can not do it. In hindsight I often get angry at myself because in my attempt to rationalize and control a certain emotion, I in a sense created another that I didn't see.

Perhaps too you are judging your own person, or at least your emotional expression of self, and finding it unacceptable. That too, comes at a price. The mind and the heart may never understand one another, but if either attempts to reign surpreme at the expense of the other, in time either will fail, and with a grievous result.

The fact of the matter is, to me emotions are illogical and the negative ones are completely and utterly useless, and I am powerless to do anything about it.

Indeed, you are powerless, because you are not separate and divided. You cannot be both subject (controller) and object (that which is controlled). Each human being is an integral whole such that any attempt to control one's own emotions is thinking in a way that does not address the reality of being alive.

Consider too that emotion, both positive and negative, is a signal to one's self. Emotion helps inform us about our state of being, our choices made, and how we might proceed in the future. They are essential to our survival as a person, and as a species.

I say all this based upon my experience of being alive, and my experience of trying to control my own emotions. The price for me was depression, addiction, and the inabilty to meet my own needs as a human being.

Acceptance, and especially self-acceptance - without condition - has been so much easier and so much more rewarding.


Namaste,
Ian

 

[Morgain]

I'm completely with Ian, great post!!

 

[Tactical Panda]

When I say emotional control, I don't necessarily mean how good your control over your emotions are, but more how often you try and control them. Whether it is anger, happiness, sadness, infatuation, ect. how often do you question that emotion and try to control it, make it stronger, make it go away, surpress it. Basically make it into what you think it should be.

I turn them on and off using willpower, in order to supplement my willpower.
Whenever I am stressed I try to control my emotions like this, otherwise its just harder to function. Whenever meaning every time.

 

[just me]

Geography must have something to do with it.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gS-xs7sBguewttUyAhxKUWRgnRzAD9GAC6800

Kyrgyzstan and the Uzbeks there are mostly 75% Sunni Muslims. The police do not want to intervene. US and Russian troops are in the North part of the country protecting their bases. China? Not their problem, I suppose...

 

[Trifoilum]

I...instead of control, let's say subdue instead. Hearing control have me imagining the mental image of ropes and chains and buckles and "THOU SHALL NOT FEEL LIKE THIS" which, all of us had somewhat agreed that it's bad and BAAAAAD.....

....Which, I admit, have done so many times in the past. Even until most recent past. To the point I'm being called off as "acting NTJ" a.k.a heartless. it hurts me, it hurts the others (esp. the actual NTJs) who'd seen me doing that. In various....images. Aural blocking, gate-locking certain emotions, bubble-popping anger and hatred, smashing embarrassing moments, making a satire of extremely embarrassing moments.... in short, numbing my emotional just so I don't feel anything BAD. (or simply anything that made me went "OMG OMG WHAT THE HECK IS THIS")

Now after reading this, an epiphany came; perhaps I should aim for subduing; to recognize, but reduce its effect on me in the outside world. Accepting what I feel for what I feel and what I believed and how things in the world have affected my ideals and simply emphasizing the good effects and subduing the hurtful effects, instead of "I must not feel like this", nor "I must be calm and collected".

Sorry, random musing xD;

 

[kyo]

I can't answer. I think, if I control my emotions, it would be in a subconscious way. But I have never thought about controlling emotions, not sure it's possible. Emotions are something you listen to so you know what you feel about something. Maybe one can manipulate self.. but not really sure if you can control your emotions.
Of course, there is the possibility to suppress emotions or not show emotions, but that doesn't mean they are not there, nor that they are controlled. It's just your actions that are under control and perhaps not in a way that corresponds to your emotions.

 

[MelodyS90]

When I'm alone, I don't really control my emotions other than to prevent myself from doing something destructive. I like to write, do art, or get into my music when I'm alone. When I'm with others, I sometimes control my emotions so severely that I stop feeling them as feelings, and I just feel sick. But the longer I do that, the worse I feel, and the harder it is to release those feelings.