Emotional Sensitivity

[Flavus Aquila]

Emotional sensitivity can be awareness of others' emotions, or about one's own emotions... people who are attuned to one seem insensitive, or indifferent to the other.

Too little sensitivity is to be a sociopath, too much seems dysfunctional as well.

 

[Vilku]

i think i have too much of it. To the point its really crippling me and dissociating my head into thousands of shards, which makes it really hard for me to even see that sensitivity. Its like im blind to it, as if i didnt believe into its existence. I know i have it, but i still find it hard to grasp cause its just too painful. Im sure its my w8 side of nine.

I literally forgot my entire past few years ago just cause of it, wanted to forget all the pain.. And spent ever since trying to gather the shards which represent my mind.
But i know im just not strong enough, after all, my pain tolerance had totally peaked, considering i was able to forget everything.

I think i need a soulmate as an anchor to give me the strength required.

My 4w3 has been a one strong bitch, able to keep me from falling into any form of addictions through all this suffering, but even thats not anymore enough, as i havent been able to resist the temptation to eat wheat which is poisonous. (toxins, they destroy brains

 

[#@&5&49]

OMG, yes! This is happened quite a few times where people are just drawn to you because they feel you have a certain understanding, acceptance, or compassion that they feel they can't get anywhere else, so seek you to help them feel better, and as you said, emotionally heal, but once they benefit from this healing form of sensitivity, and get better, they move on. It's almost as if you were their caretaker at an inn for a time and then they moved on to finish the rest of their journey elsewhere.

LOL. That's funny a caretaker at an inn for the emotionally crippled. It's a strange separation to have to make between friendship and providing that kind of healing for people. I've often confused the two and ended up being hurt. Yeah, there are those that just use, consciously or not, then there are those that aren't normally users but are really having some difficulty, then there are folks that can really show up and be a friend, and then there is a wide gray area of all kinds of inbetweeners. It's taken me a long time to be able to distinguish the differences and sometimes I still get it wrong. But like I said the people closest to me are sensitive also. I think I need it to be that way for self preservation :becky:.

I can provide emotional sensitivity for people, but now I try to just do this when I want to and on my terms. There are times when people unconsciously and or consciously seek me out, but for whatever reason I cannot provide what they are seeking. At these times I put up an emotional shield. Other times I will offer what I have to give. It depends on how I feel at the time and the people and circumstances involved. I think if people recognize sensitivity in their children when they're young, support it, and guide their sensitive children to a healthy understanding, it would be so much easier than having to sort it out as an adult.

I agree with you that sensitivity is not something you can turn on and off, but I have found, for the sake of self preservation, it is best to only offer it on my terms :w:

 

[Trifoilum]

Emotional sensitivity can be awareness of others' emotions, or about one's own emotions... people who are attuned to one seem insensitive, or indifferent to the other.

Too little sensitivity is to be a sociopath, too much seems dysfunctional as well.

Do you mean that people who are attuned to their own feelings seem insensitive or indifferent to other people's feelings and vice versa?

That makes me thinking, though;
I can see too little sensitivity being bad; mainly due to the lack of sympathy and consideration for other people, or themselves.
but how is having too much sensitivity bad? Due to the impulsiveness?

i think i have too much of it. To the point its really crippling me and dissociating my head into thousands of shards, which makes it really hard for me to even see that sensitivity. Its like im blind to it, as if i didnt believe into its existence. I know i have it, but i still find it hard to grasp cause its just too painful. Im sure its my w8 side of nine.

I literally forgot my entire past few years ago just cause of it, wanted to forget all the pain.. And spent ever since trying to gather the shards which represent my mind.
But i know im just not strong enough, after all, my pain tolerance had totally peaked, considering i was able to forget everything.

I'm sorry to hear it. I noticed your age; within ages of puberty it seems reasonable that your emotions and sensitivity will be heightened all at once, and if your life has been messy it can only got worse.
I hope you can find strength to face your wound.

I think i need a soulmate as an anchor to give me the strength required.

This is not my place but depending on a soulmate to make an anchor is going to be very long and arduous at best and futile at worst..... ;|

LOL. That's funny a caretaker at an inn for the emotionally crippled. It's a strange separation to have to make between friendship and providing that kind of healing for people. I've often confused the two and ended up being hurt.

You're not alone. And that's an interesting imagery. Sometimes it does feel like that-- helping people, who will merrily go on their way after they're fully healed. And we're left with the mess.

Yeah, there are those that just use, consciously or not, then there are those that aren't normally users but are really having some difficulty, then there are folks that can really show up and be a friend, and then there is a wide gray area of all kinds of inbetweeners. It's taken me a long time to be able to distinguish the differences and sometimes I still get it wrong. But like I said the people closest to me are sensitive also. I think I need it to be that way for self preservation :becky:.

Oh yes, I know this so well, if I may echo my sentiments.
Boundaries, boundaries.

I can provide emotional sensitivity for people, but now I try to just do this when I want to and on my terms. There are times when people unconsciously and or consciously seek me out, but for whatever reason I cannot provide what they are seeking. At these times I put up an emotional shield. Other times I will offer what I have to give. It depends on how I feel at the time and the people and circumstances involved. I think if people recognize sensitivity in their children when they're young, support it, and guide their sensitive children to a healthy understanding, it would be so much easier than having to sort it out as an adult.

I would say a lot of us who are emotionally sensitive also knows how to clam up and detach...at least to a certain point, and to a certain degree. In a way that probably is a source of some unhealthy moral dilemma, doesn't it? Do you save other people or save yourself?

I agree with you that sensitivity is not something you can turn on and off, but I have found, for the sake of self preservation, it is best to only offer it on my terms :w:

That's indeed interesting.

Personally asking, how do you react against the idea of 'sacrifice', in this case?
You know, the kind of "I know it hurts / I don't even care if it hurts, this is something good / right / true and therefore i should do it."

 

[TinyBubbles]

Come to think about it, we talked a lot around sensitivity,
Calling people, judging them, giving advice, feeling hurt....
but we never really talked about sensitivity, did we not?

So what is emotional sensitivity?
How sensitive do you think you are? Why does people have different amounts of it?
Which is worse; no sensitivity or too much sensitivity?

People who are more aware might know my bias here.
Do you think sensitivity is important for navigating through the world?
Do you think sensitivity is important for building relationship?

And one MBTI related question:
I considered sensitivity mainly a realm of Fi; but I also acknowledge that Jungian Feelings =/= emotions. (I saw a lot of sensitive and/or butthurt Ti users, for instance) Is it a part of Fi, or do you think it's something that's more...humane?

I'm very emotionally sensitive. It's strange though. Most things don't affect me at all, but some things- damn. It's like a well has been tapped, I start bawling. I can't understand why. I think I'm broken inside. Some part of me dissociated from my emotions early in life; now my interactions with them are sporadic and unsatisfying.

 

[#@&5&49]

You're not alone. And that's an interesting imagery. Sometimes it does feel like that-- helping people, who will merrily go on their way after they're fully healed. And we're left with the mess.

Oh yes, I know this so well, if I may echo my sentiments.
Boundaries, boundaries.

I would say a lot of us who are emotionally sensitive also knows how to clam up and detach...at least to a certain point, and to a certain degree. In a way that probably is a source of some unhealthy moral dilemma, doesn't it? Do you save other people or save yourself?

That's indeed interesting.

Personally asking, how do you react against the idea of 'sacrifice', in this case?
You know, the kind of "I know it hurts / I don't even care if it hurts, this is something good / right / true and therefore i should do it."

On a personal level, sometimes I'm very aware that someone needs help, but I'm also very aware that helping someone involves vulnerability. The person offering has to open themselves up and the person receiving has to open themselves up as well. When all lines are open you just kinda feel it. It's like being able to see a clear path and hear a clear sound vs. seeing a foggy path and hearing static. Sometimes people just aren't open at a particular moment in time, myself included.

Another way of looking at it is emotional currency. Sometimes I have an abundance of it, so much so that I have enough to give away. And other times I am operating at a deficit and others have enough to give away. I have found that it doesn't have to involve the same people or friendship. It's like a pay it forward kind of thing. I add to the kitty and someone else takes, then someone else adds and I take, and so on and so forth. An emotional bank account so to speak where everyone is able to make deposits and withdrawals. It's just people helping people along the way.

On a professional level, say in the social or community service fields, it can be very hard not to help and facing that moral dilemma can be an everyday experience. Societies definition of help and help that's on a more personal level isn't the same thing, and it can become difficult to distinguish between the two in fields that are about helping people. I think it boils down to individual choice. People just do what they can handle.

Interesting topic - thanks.

 

[just me]

The frontal lobes play an important part in retaining longer term memories which are not task-based. These are often memories associated with emotions derived from input from the brain's limbic system. The frontal lobe modifies those emotions to generally fit socially acceptable norms. copied from Wikipedia Don't know where this is leading me yet....Common effects of damage to the frontal lobe are varied. Patients who have experienced frontal lobe trauma may know the appropriate response to a situation but display inappropriate to those same situations in “real life.” Similarly, emotions that are felt may not be expressed in the face or voice. For example, someone who is feeling happy would not smile, and his or her voice would be devoid of emotion. Along the same lines, though, the person may also exhibit excessive, unwarranted displays of emotion. copied and still going somewhere I think Physiological arousal and cognitive interpretation are both required to have an emotional experience, supposedly....copied just trying to entertain my wanting, lonely mind, I guess............Philosophy and perceptions are also involved in emotions.............Introverts are 70% more likely to be emotionally sensitive, though 30% of extroverts can be so, also. ..................

 

[#@&5&49]

The frontal lobes play an important part in retaining longer term memories which are not task-based. These are often memories associated with emotions derived from input from the brain's limbic system. The frontal lobe modifies those emotions to generally fit socially acceptable norms. copied from Wikipedia Don't know where this is leading me yet....Common effects of damage to the frontal lobe are varied. Patients who have experienced frontal lobe trauma may know the appropriate response to a situation but display inappropriate to those same situations in “real life.” Similarly, emotions that are felt may not be expressed in the face or voice. For example, someone who is feeling happy would not smile, and his or her voice would be devoid of emotion. Along the same lines, though, the person may also exhibit excessive, unwarranted displays of emotion. copied and still going somewhere I think Physiological arousal and cognitive interpretation are both required to have an emotional experience, supposedly....copied just trying to entertain my wanting, lonely mind, I guess............Philosophy and perceptions are also involved in emotions.............Introverts are 70% more likely to be emotionally sensitive, though 30% of extroverts can be so, also. ..................

Okay, so introverts are 70% more likely to experience emotional sensitivity then extroverts. However, if they have a disability their emotional sensitivity may manifest itself in unconventional ways that the majority of people may not recognize as emotional sensitivity. In other words, introverts dealing with certain disabilities may exhibit emotional sensitivity in ways that most people wouldn't recognize. Is this what you're saying? If so, that's a keen and fascinating observation.

 

[just me]

Okay, so introverts are 70% more likely to experience emotional sensitivity then extroverts. However, if they have a disability their emotional sensitivity may manifest itself in unconventional ways that the majority of people may not recognize as emotional sensitivity. In other words, introverts dealing with certain disabilities may exhibit emotional sensitivity in ways that most people wouldn't recognize. Is this what you're saying? If so, that's a keen and fascinating observation.

Sadie, you are fascinating. It is also possible to see someone who has had severe damage to the frontal lobe react in such a manner most cannot accept, not realizing their(said person's) actual response. Wait a minute: what if I didn't mean that at all? Am I then fallen rose petals in the rain?

 

[#@&5&49]

Sadie, you are fascinating. It is also possible to see someone who has had severe damage to the frontal lobe react in such a manner most cannot accept, not realizing their(said person's) actual response.

I think in order to do that one would have to have a degree of awareness and understanding of certain types of disabilities. The general population doesn't have that awareness or understanding. So, the way an introvert with a disability manifests emotional sensitivity may go unnoticed, unrecognized, and possibly even ridiculed simply because people do not recognize or understand that certain disabilities exhibit emotional sensitivity differently than the general population. And the fact that this varies depending on the type of disability a person has makes it even more confusing to recognize. Basically, it's a diverse world, full of diverse people, and what we think we see isn't always what describes the actual situation when we take into consideration all of the diverse people in the world.

 

[just me]

I think it important to understand where all this is coming from: within us. Where is "within", anyway? Speaking of manifestations, did anyone notice the little flute players that played so eloquently the other morning? Maybe it was all the notes' affects on those parents that were listening and observing each of their children's participation in the play. Maybe I heard the flutes' music and felt the parents' emotional sensitivity, and connection. There was definitely a connection. When there is a disconnection in normal brain function, we should be more willing to listen to the notes than judge their sounds.

 

[#@&5&49]

I think it important to understand where all this is coming from: within us. Where is "within", anyway? Speaking of manifestations, did anyone notice the little flute players that played so eloquently the other morning? Maybe it was all the notes' affects on those parents that were listening and observing each of their children's participation in the play. Maybe I heard the flutes' music and felt the parents' emotional sensitivity, and connection. There was definitely a connection. When there is a disconnection in normal brain function, we should be more willing to listen to the notes than judge their sounds.

Listen to the notes as opposed to judge the sound - very good [MENTION=2719]justme[/MENTION], very good. Thank you for reminding me of that.

 

[lenina]

i think emotional intelligence is sometimes confused for emotional sensitivity. the former a strength and the latter a weakness

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037

after taking this test a few years ago i realized that being hyper emotional wasnt a strength and wasnt a sign of how in touch i was with myself, it was an inability to cope brought upon by stress and an inability to move past emotions in the face of stress to logical actions which would make my life better. taking those logical actions requires emotional intelligence.

 

[just me]

i think emotional intelligence is sometimes confused for emotional sensitivity. the former a strength and the latter a weakness

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037

after taking this test a few years ago i realized that being hyper emotional wasnt a strength and wasnt a sign of how in touch i was with myself, it was an inability to cope brought upon by stress and an inability to move past emotions in the face of stress to logical actions which would make my life better. taking those logical actions requires emotional intelligence.

Those same people say: quoted and copied,...............................
Social construction models generally say that there is no biological circuitry for emotions since emotions are solely based on experience and context. Some even suggest that certain emotions can only exist in the reciprocal exchanges of a social encounter. Since there are unique local languages and local moral orders, cultures can use the same emotion and expression in very different ways. Thus, emotional expressions are culturally-prescribed performances rather than internal mental events. Knowing a social script for a certain emotion allows one to enact the emotional behaviors that are appropriate for the cultural context. Emotional expressions serve a social function and are essentially a way of reaching out to the world.[SUP] unquote........................[/SUP]

 

[just me]

Hmmmm. Think I'll have a cup of tea over that one for awhile...OK.....the term "construct validity" comes to mind. Someone please help me fix my new computer with this forum so I can skip a line and a space when I want to....back to the subject(s). I feel an overwhelming desire to disagree somewhat with the "weakness" train of thought copied and posted here, and it is not personal [MENTION=4313]lenina[/MENTION]. I wonder how someone can try to validate a theory our emotions are displayed by our intake around us, period. Stating emotional sensitivity as a weakness shows a pre-determined mindset of what we are "supposed" to be like, as opposed to everyone's being themselves. I am reminded of a child that has had a concussion from a frontal blow on the head. That child may become a "problem" child to the parents because they act differently than others around them. Their "problem" may lie inside the frontal lobe of the brain's being altered: possibly an excessive blood flow added to the mix. They may show signs of ADD to others, yet the notes of the music they are playing are being misread because some of the notes do not go with the rest. This is becoming too much context without a break...

 

[lenina]

@just me while i do not believe that anything can be purely a social construction, i do believe that emotional expressions serve a social function. i think being emotionally sensitive is very "in", for the last decade at least. i think that is why i used to be more emotional. then i realized it's utility is less than that derived from control on emotions. i think having control on ones actions is not a denial of emotions but strength in the face of them, emotional insensitivity is not a denial of truth, it's an acceptance of a higher truth.

 

[just me]

@just me while i do not believe that anything can be purely a social construction, i do believe that emotional expressions serve a social function. i think being emotionally sensitive is very "in", for the last decade at least. i think that is why i used to be more emotional. then i realized it's utility is less than that derived from control on emotions. i think having control on ones actions is not a denial of emotions but strength in the face of them, emotional insensitivity is not a denial of truth, it's an acceptance of a higher truth.

Happy to see you here now. Ever notice how death of a loved one affects people differently? I'm sure you have. Not an easy or healthy thing to take one's emotional sensitivity to harbor, throw the anchor out, and think of themselves as seaworthy after the socially accepted time of grieving. Disparities inside the mind do exist. What is my point?

 

[lenina]

Stating emotional sensitivity as a weakness shows a pre-determined mindset of what we are "supposed" to be like, as opposed to everyone's being themselves.

@just me

hi just me sorry i dont know how to quote properly but anyways. first off, the things i say are based on my own experience, i can't speak for others, only conjecture. that being said, what if being less emotionally volatile is what human beings really are when they are truly "being themselves", take all the social capital away from projecting oneself as weak, and maybe human beings are not that emotional. kind of like how adult cats do not meow in the wild, but have learned its utility around humans.

there was a time when i used to have panic attacks. and i dunno, as i got older, and realized life will keep shovelling its shit on me, i stopped panicking, now at undesirable situations i just sigh, mope, get angry and try to look for things to be happy about and eventually life goes on. for me to not panic is a strength. honestly it would be nice to not need to sigh, mope and get angry, and just skip all those to happy thoughts, but as of now im not able to. nor am i 100% sure if that is desirable.

 

[Apone]

I think there's a fine line between sensitivity and enabling sometimes. A lot if the extroverts I've known have been far more reasonable about their sensitivity than the introverts... of course there are insecure people and oblivious people in both camps, but there is very little to be gained by treating unpleasant but perfectly normal events as great tragedies that require us to tiptoe around. Some people enjoy drama and use their 'sensitivity' to make small problems into massive issues that give other people permission to get indignant in ways that undermine their own dignity. It's not a black and white issue but I do think that too much sensitivity can lead to irrationality. Also, most people despise those who are extremely sensitive to their own issues and completely indifferent to others... unless you're an artist or rock star or something.

 

[just me]

[MENTION=4313]lenina[/MENTION], The words "volatile" and "panic" don't settle well in my stomach mixed with my current mindset. Comparison to animals sounds too much like Darwin(the father, not the son). Adult cats do communicate in the wild. Tell me of the lions' roar, the crying of the wolves at night; the fox lamenting in its fright: its mate's been taken miles away. Lamentations through the darkness, reaching deep inside the soul of the one that has taken her away. Had it not been best had he let them both stay? Each and every howl speaks stories of love and life. Now they are miles apart, and the agony is spread through the avenue of loneliness. Without love, there may very well be no emotional sensitivities in the hearts of mankind. With love, the heartfelt cries eventually numb the pains of distress. I fear what one may see as a weakness, I may judge as a strength.