[INFJ] Empath: Stories of Feeling Other-People's Emotions

This one I find interesting because I don't normally know something is wrong with a person unless I can see their body language/facial expressions. But when I do know something's wrong, I feel horrible.

Like, this one time a guy I'm in a first aid volunteer group with had been going through some things because his buddy had literally died in his arms after a climbing accident (I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad feelings... or, you know). Anyway, it was awhile after that and he was back at practice. My mum was running us through a scenario, and she mentioned a "cliff" though didn't even MEAN a cliff, she meant a slight hill. Anyway, right away I was like dammit mum and I kept glancing at the fellow trying to see how he was, and if he was okay. He started seeming sick kind of, and looking very uncomfortable, so I asked if he was okay and he was like "yeah". But shortly after he was asking to leave after awhile saying that it was like a flu or something. I regret not trying to help him more while I was there, but after in the car with my mom I explained the what seemed to be really going on there and she ended up talking to him after and apologizing and he understood of course.

I mean, I've had other people be like well that's kind of obvious but no one else there bat an eye- they just didn't put two and two together I guess.
 
When my dad lost his vision in my early adolescence, I spent a year or so secretly walking around with my eyes shut (at home and when no one was watching etc). I developed many OTC type behaviors as some irrational type of bargaining that he be given his vision back. To this day if I stub my toe or trip over something it hurts not just in the wounded physical part, but in my heart because I think "well Dad's probably done that 10x today already." As it turns out he got over and coped with his blindness much better than I did. I continue experiencing the world as a blind person vicariously in all the ways that are painful/difficult rather than positive/adaptive.
 
I think of my niece as a baby. when I held her and she was fussy or tired, I would feel her anxiety. If I held her and she was calm, I would feel calm, too. I would pat her back and coo with her to try and get her to close those sleepy eyes. I would close my eyes and hold her close and feel our feelings calm together - it was the most peace I have ever felt from another being.

now she's ten and to this day, she comes to me when she needs comforting. She was practically having a panic attack over having to swallow an antibiotic pill a couple of weeks ago. the rest of the family were really pushing her and I could feel her tensions rise. my own stomach knotted and my shoulders felt like they were up to my ears! She ran to me and held on. I put my arms around her and pressed her close rubbing her back again just as though she were still that baby and we were both calm again. <3
 
I discovered I was empathic when I had a meeting with colleagues during work. While sitting across from one, I suddenly was able to feel what he felt-- anxiety, yearning, fear, hope. It washed over me rather intensely.
The thing was, there wasn't a trace of it in his features. He is likely an ESTJ, and I hear they hold back from showing emotions as they consider it a weakness. I was very moved by what I felt; I found it as insightful knowledge that seemed to clarify.
I then started to wonder which feelings were mine exactly, and which weren't. I was going through a crisis in identity at the time, plagued by intense anxiety, doubts, and insecurities that would keep me up at nights, and that I'd never wrestled with before. I was questioning the life-changing choices I'd made. Nothing was making sense to me. But after realizing I might be empathic, and therefore highly sensitive or attuned to the emotions of those around me, it became a lot easier to sort through the feelings; to figure out which were mine and which might not be; therefore, which issues are mine to deal with, and which are just the reflected emotions of those around me-- emotions I just need to take a bit of time to let go of.

It's actually pretty annoying to have to do this. Meditation helps a lot.
 
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So I have an experience. Please let me know if anyone out there has had a similar experience. This was when I had my first baby. I had her in my arms for the first time and I sat there in the hospital bed realizing that, the armor that I subconsciously had armed my heart and feelings with was now gone. It scared the living day lights out of me. I'm going to feel too much and it had already started. I will never forget how terrified I felt. How am I going to get through this motherhood thing? Ok but here's what I was trying to get to, when my baby caught her first illness at about 2 months old I felt ill as well. I just figured we both caught a cold. But as soon as she started to look and feel better I miraculously felt normal. This happened over and over again every time my babies got sick. With my second child same thing. Now 12 years later I feel that being an infj mother is a gift. I have been able to be very in tuned with my children wether it be with illness or emotionally. My little guy says I have super powers. That is a great compliment.
 
Yes...I have to physically leave the room that some people are in sometimes.
I will rage and burst into tears sometimes for the same reason if I don’t.
When I worked in surgery my energy was more focused on the job at hand and I could shut off the negative emotions that were flying around...though they would still effect me later in other ways.
 
Tez said:
So I have an experience. Please let me know if anyone out there has had a similar experience. This was when I had my first baby. I had her in my arms for the first time and I sat there in the hospital bed realizing that, the armor that I subconsciously had armed my heart and feelings with was now gone. It scared the living day lights out of me. I'm going to feel too much and it had already started. I will never forget how terrified I felt. How am I going to get through this motherhood thing? Ok but here's what I was trying to get to, when my baby caught her first illness at about 2 months old I felt ill as well. I just figured we both caught a cold. But as soon as she started to look and feel better I miraculously felt normal. This happened over and over again every time my babies got sick. With my second child same thing. Now 12 years later I feel that being an infj mother is a gift. I have been able to be very in tuned with my children wether it be with illness or emotionally. My little guy says I have super powers. That is a great compliment.
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Just want to say I totally got the missing armor thing after I had my son. Like your heart now exists on the outside of your body, exposed and vulnerable to the world... I also sobbed for days after he was born because I was overwhelmed by the love I felt. I didn't know it was possible to love anyone so much. It was like the love was larger than my being, yet still it fit and grew. I think maybe that was probably my brain changing for motherhood.
 
acd said:
Just want to say I totally got the missing armor thing after I had my son. Like your heart now exists on the outside of your body, exposed and vulnerable to the world... I also sobbed for days after he was born because I was overwhelmed by the love I felt. I didn't know it was possible to love anyone so much. It was like the love was larger than my being, yet still it fit and grew. I think maybe that was probably my brain changing for motherhood.
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Yes 100 percent. I love how you said that our hearts exist on the outside. That's exactly how it felt and feels.
 
Scientia said:
About ten years ago, I was walking up the Main Street in my town around noon and I felt really uneasy. There was no reason at all for it and I started to question why I felt this vague sense of fear and then I got a huge rush of adrenaline from nowhere. I felt so odd that I started to almost run and I looked up to see this guy looking me dead in the eyes and walking towards me with absolute hatred. I didn't know the guy at all but the feelings emanating from him were really strong and violent. I still don't know why I felt his hatred before I even saw him.
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I feel that I have always had that sense about people. Say in a city when it's late, or there are maybe dodgy types around. Even as a kid in fact I got a strong sense when people could not be trusted and felt safe enough that my intuition kept me away from danger. I'm pretty sure I was protected from this sense more than a few times. I think it's the up side of having that awareness of others.
 
I find that feeling others emotions can often interfere with my own happiness. I've never thought of this as a special trait. Especially at work as I work in an open unit with many staff. If someone is having a bad day I will often sense this right away. I can be in the best mood and having a great day then bam I'm absorbing all this negative baggage. It sucks. I've had to work hard to prevent falling into this on a daily basis.
 
Most of the time it may not register as emotions but I still strongly feel the energy being emanated from other people and I feel that energy as fatigue and fogginess of mind, when at certain hours or when I get enough distance from any population I no longer feel all that junk and feel so Much better. I can strongly project with in the same context so even the normies will feel something (ended up learning on the job no less) but feeling it back from them sometimes is nice but often I feel very sick inside when tapping into other people. Mirroring back their energy can have very strong and often negative responses as what is hidden can suddenly be in the open or brought to the forefront should it be something they have been suppressing. Naturally normies hate me and being in modern society Sucks, I am very much out of place in this world.
 
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