ENFP + INFJ = ?

[worthy]

Just wanted to post an update to say the concert is happening this week, and my ENFP bandmate has come through with flying colors so far, with investing in the project, practicing diligently, agreeing on a schedule that is planned enough to work for me and flexible enough to work for him, and communicating well when toes get stepped on or feelings hurt. It's been a pretty awesome learning/growing experience for me. Successful so far and I would seek out other ENFPs to work with because I like this dynamic.

Unlike my other-type friendships, this one involves very connected listening and sharing, with more depth and vulnerability than most people I've met are capable of. Lots of thoughtfulness and awareness on both sides of the potential for the other person to have differing needs. And so much room and acceptance to be weird and crazy alongside serious and intense. I haven't had many friendships where both modes were equally welcome and present.

It's not a love relationship, just a friendship, and I don't know what it's like to be in a love relationship with an ENFP. But the friendships I've had with ENFPs have been great as long as I keep my expectations flexible and communicate my needs.

This was super helpful to me. Thank you.

My bandmate is an ENFP. It's awesome and also a little terrifying because it makes me rethink the way I approach things. I am often afraid of accidentally hurting his feelings, especially when I have constructive criticism for him, and although he is mature and seems solid when it happens, as an INFJ, I can tell he's hurt, and then I hurt, too, and...I want to avoid that but I don't want to stop pushing us both to grow. I need more time to learn to understand him. He is infuriatingly difficult to pin down, doesn't want to plan ahead, etc. We ricochet between deep-and-serious and silly-and-spontaneous. Both feel great as long as we don't get stuck in one or the other.

We seem to have found some reasonable middle ground when it comes to our rehearsal rhythm (he shows up on a particular day as agreed; I have learned to keep a larger window of time open on the day, remind him, and wait until the last minute to ask when exactly he's arriving). But scheduling performances is the next challenging frontier to tackle. I want to plan ahead, set dates/venues, commit and work toward a goal. He doesn't mind the idea of performing with me but wants to not be shackled to a plan. I want to set a date six months out, but that is uncomfortable for him. I'll work on it. I like to think we'll work on this together. I think we are on the same page, mostly, but...whew. What a ride.

 

[Daustus]

And so much room and acceptance to be weird and crazy alongside serious and intense.

What you wrote mirrors my experience too. I have a close ENFP friend and we've been close for about 12 years now. We're completely open and explore our crazy and weird sides. Mine is pretty tame but it's very much there. I can appreciate all the weird places my ENFP goes. It's fun to go for a ride too. It's been a really rewarding long term friendship.