Phoenix Down
Permanent Fixture
- MBTI
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 3w?
These days I test as a 7w8 although I used to test as an 8w7 occaisionally I get that result, but I'm pretty sure I'm a 7w8.
Enneagram Poll (all 18 of them)
- Thread starter IndigoSensor
- Start date
sassafras
...
- MBTI
- .
You will be shunned.
S
Shai Gar
8w9 - Seeking Power and Peace
Healthy Eights with a 9 wing often have an aura of preternatural calm, like they haven't had a self-doubt in decades. Take their authority for granted - queen or king of all they survey. May be gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, generally somewhat introverted. Sometimes a dry or ironic sense of humor. May have an aura of implicit, simmering anger rather like a sleeping volcano. Slow to erupt but when they do it's sudden and explosive. When entranced, the 9 wing brings an Eight a kind of callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they've hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don't know when to quit.
THE CHALLENGER
Overview of Type Eight
Everyday language comments regularly on the reasons for which power is being pursued. If it is narrowly confined to the interest of an individual or group, one says it is being sought for selfish ends; if it reflects the interest or perception of a much larger number of people, those involved are thought inspired leaders or statesmen...
Much less appreciated is the extent to which the purpose of power is the exercise of power itself. In all societies, from the most primitive to the ostensibly most civilized, the exercise of power is profoundly enjoyed. Elaborate rituals of obeisance—admiring multitudes, applauded speeches, precedence at dinners and banquets, a place in the motorcade, access to the corporate jet, the military salute—celebrate the possession of power. These rituals are greatly rewarding; so are the pleas and intercessions of those who seek to influence others in the exercise of power; and so, of course, are the acts of exercise—the instructions to subordinates, the military commands, the conveying of court decisions, the statement at the end of the meeting when the person in charge says, 'Well, this is what we'll do.' A sense of self-actuated worth derives from both the context and the exercise of power. On no other aspect of human existence is vanity so much at risk; in William Hazlitt's words, 'The love of power is the love of ourselves.' It follows that power is pursued not only for the service it renders to personal interests, values, or social perceptions but also for its own sake, for the emotional and material reward inherent in its possession and exercise. (John Kenneth Galbraith, The Anatomy of Power, 9-10.)
It is difficult to describe power without roaming into ambiguous matters—into a consideration of leadership, authority, will, courage, self-reliance, and destructiveness. What is the difference between willfulness and self-assertion, for example? "Will" can be thought of as good or bad, although more by its use than by what it is. It is difficult to say what gives a person authority or makes someone a particularly able leader. Is it proper to call the use of power with which we agree healthy, while condemning its use by those with whom we disagree? We cannot possibly begin to do justice to the complexities of power here, although they will, of course, be touched on because this chapter concerns itself with the personality type which most exemplifies power.
In the personality type Eight, we see courage, will, self-reliance, leadership, authority, self-assertion—and the dark side of power, the ability to destroy what power has created.
In the Instinctive Center
Eights are one of the three types in the Instinctive Center. All three personality types of this Center attempt to keep the environment from affecting them in different ways—Eights by dominating it, Nines by ignoring it, and Ones by striving to perfect it. Eights tend to assert themselves powerfully in the environment so that no one and nothing in it can have power over them.
Of all the types of the Enneagram, Eights are the most openly aggressive personality. They possess a powerful connection with their instinctive drives which gives them tremendous energy, self-confidence, and the desire to impact their world in some significant way. They are take-charge people who want to test their wills against the environment, including, of course, other people. No one can ignore Eights, and others do so only at their own risk. Because they are so strong-willed and forceful, Eights are among the easiest types to identify, although for the same reason they can be the most difficult to deal with because getting their way is so important to them. If they are healthy, they use their immense self-confidence and will to remake the environment in some constructive way. But if they are unhealthy, whatever power Eights have deteriorates into the desire to prevail over others, no matter what the cost, even if it means destroying anyone who stands in their way.
The source of their problem with resistance is that Eights that they are in conflict with the environment. They see the world around them in terms of struggle and endurance, and believe they must continually test their mettle against their environment if they are going to survive. This outlook leads them to a powerfully assertive style of self-expression, and because they assert themselves so readily, and usually with favorable results for themselves, they develop a sturdy feeling of confidence in their own powers. Eights have more steely determination and single-mindedness than any other personality type. What Eights do not recognize, however, is that their capacity to assert themselves can become immensely destructive if they allow their willfulness to get out of hand. When this happens, others are often galvanized into action against them, and their lives then actually are torn asunder by conflicts and strife. Their fears of being rendered helpless in a harsh and unforgiving world are made true.
Eights correspond to the extroverted intuitive type in the Jungian typology.
The [extroverted] intuitive...has a keen nose for anything new and in the making. Because he is always seeking out new possibilities, stable conditions suffocate him....Neither reason nor feeling can restrain him or frighten him away from a new possibility, even though it goes against all his previous convictions... Consideration for the welfare of others is weak. Their psychic well-being counts as little with him as does his own. He has equally little regard for their convictions and way of life, and on this account he is often put down as an immoral and unscrupulous adventurer. Since his intuition is concerned with externals and with ferreting out their possibilities, he readily turns to professions in which he can exploit these capacities to the full. Many business tycoons, entrepreneurs, speculators, stockbrokers, politicians, etc., belong to this type...
It goes without saying that such a type is uncommonly important both economically and culturally. If his intentions are good, i.e., if his attitude is not too egocentric, he can render exceptional service as the initiator or promoter of new enterprises. He is the natural champion of all minorities with a future. Because he is able, when oriented more to people than to things, to make an intuitive diagnosis of their abilities and potentialities, he can also 'make' men. His capacity to inspire courage or to kindle enthusiasm for anything new is unrivalled, although he may already have dropped it by the morrow. The stronger his intuition, the more his ego becomes fused with all the possibilities he envisions. He brings his vision to life, he presents it convincingly and with dramatic fire, he embodies it, so to speak. But this is not play-acting, it is a kind of fate. (C. G. Jung, Psychological Types, 368-369.)
Eights are confident that they can assert themselves until they achieve their goals and, as Jung notes, if they are not too egocentric, their personal goals will be extremely beneficial to others. They may build skyscrapers, cities, or nations which, while personal expressions, are also necessary for the well-being of others. Eights are the natural leaders among the personality types, and may even achieve some measure of historical greatness if their goals extend far enough beyond themselves to the common welfare. Their enormous self-confidence inspires others so that everyone's energies can be harnessed in a worthwhile undertaking.
Unfortunately, as Jung implies, Eights tend to become egocentric. They get carried away by the momentum of their egos and the projects they have set in motion. Even average Eights begin to pit themselves against others in a struggle for power and dominance, as if the welfare of others automatically means that their own welfare must suffer. Average Eights feel that there can be only one person in charge, and they intend to be that person. They feel that the world must adjust itself to them and that others must fall in line to help them accomplish their goals.
Given this disposition, it is not surprising that if they become unhealthy, Eights can be extremely dangerous. They become ruthlessly aggressive in the pursuit of their goals, even if it means, as it ultimately does, that the rights and needs of others will be sacrificed so that they alone can prevail. Thus, the two ends of the spectrum of their traits are starkly contrasting: when healthy, no other personality type has as great a capacity for exerting a constructive influence in the lives of so many people. But the reverse is that no other personality type can so completely misuse power or become so totally destructive as unhealthy Eights.
Problems with Aggression and Repression
The three personality types of the Instinctive Center have common problems with aggression, and with a lack of self-development as a result of repression. Each of these types has aggressive impulses which are either totally repressed (the Nine), or sublimated into idealistic work (the One), or forcefully expressed (the Eight). Also, each of these three types represses some aspect of the self, resulting in a characteristic effect on their personalities: in general, none of these three types thinks there is anything wrong with them. They think that all significant problems lie outside themselves in the environment, which they attempt either to dominate (Eights), find union with (Nines), or improve (Ones). Moreover, repression protects these types from feeling anxiety about the consequences of their actions, so they are able to go about their lives relatively unencumbered by emotional conflicts or self-doubt. In the short term, such a disposition simplifies matters for these types, but it can make life very difficult for others.
At first glance, it is difficult to see what Eights might be repressing. They certainly have few problems asserting themselves and their ideas, and they like to get straight to the point when they are communicating with people. They can be courageous, and will take on battles for the sake of the people they love, the things they believe in, or simply for their own self-interest. They have hearty appetites and enjoy their pleasures—so what are Eights not allowing in themselves?
Basically, Eights are driven by the fear of being dominated, harmed or controlled by others. As we have just seen, they see the world as a fairly "dog-eat-dog" place, and they do not intend to be eaten. Consequently, Eights believe they must keep up their guard and toughen themselves against the harsh realities of life, but in order to do this they must repress their own tenderness and vulnerability.
Eights are usually very sensitive as children, although their high energy and natural exuberance are often resisted or even feared by adults. Their vitality attracts friends, but also others who are threatened by it and so attack young Eights in subtle and not so subtle ways. As a result, Eights learn to steel themselves against life, to armor themselves, but they do so at the expense of their innate sensitivity and gentleness. Most Eights recall some pivotal childhood crisis in which they realized that they could no longer afford to be so open, and feel this intensely as one of the greatest tragedies of their lives.
But tragedy or not, Eights have made the decision to toughen themselves, and so their vulnerability, their softness, their need for affection, and their ability to ask for help must all be repressed. Most of all, Eights must repress their own fear because it is potentially the greatest threat to their independence and strength. Of course, beneath the surface, Eights are as afraid as everyone else, but they have learned to limit the degree to which their fear registers consciously. When it does, Eights will intentionally take on challenges which confront this fear directly. If they fear heights, they will learn to climb mountains or go sky diving. If they are afraid of animals, they will go hunting or trekking in the wilderness. Although we have mentioned the counterphobic aspect of type Six, type Eight really represents the counterphobic approach to life par excellence. Ironically, though, Eights who fear being controlled and dominated end up being controlled and dominated by this very fear.
Another casualty of type Eight’s repression of vulnerability is their connection with other people. In healthy Eights, we see the big-hearted, jovial disposition which reflects an Eight’s natural feelings state, but as they succumb to their fears, they begin to believe that they cannot afford to let others get close to them. They find it difficult to trust, and so try to convince themselves that they do not need people. They also harden their hearts by telling themselves that others are around because the Eight has something they need. This is particularly sad, because in fact, while Eights may recognize that people need them, they often do not believe that people love them, and they are often very afraid to admit the degree to which they really need and love others.
Parental Orientation
As young children, Eights were ambivalent to the nurturing-figure, the person in their early development who mirrored them, cared for them, and provided affection and a sense of personal value. This is often the mother or a mother substitute, but in some families, the father or an older sibling may serve as the nurturing-figure.
Eights did not strongly bond with or identify with their nurturing figure (like Threes), but they also did not psychologically separate from them entirely either (like Sevens). As a result, Eights learned that they could maintain some kind of connection with the nurturing-figure and fit into the family system by functioning in a role that was complementary to the nurturing-figure. The nurturing-figure represented (and therefore "owned") the qualities associated with motherhood: warmth, caring, nurturance, approval, gentleness, and sensitivity. Thus, the Eight identified with the complementary patriarchal role, and learned that the best way to get some sense of value, affection, and nurturance was to be "the strong one," the little protector, the one that others turn to for strength and guidance, especially in a crisis. Eights then identified completely with this role, feeling that to give it up is to lose their identity as well as any hope of ever being loved or cared for.
Like Twos and Fives, the other "ambivalent" types, Eights feel that their well-being and survival are dependent on fulfilling their role in life. Twos believe that they must always selflessly nurture and care for others, Fives believe that they have no role to play and must find one, and Eights believe that they must be the decisive, strong person who can handle the big problems and who is indifferent to hardship and suffering. As with all of the types, the healthy manifestations of these roles can lead to extremely important contributions to the people around them, or even in the world. However, as fear and insecurity grows, these roles become prisons which trap the types and prevent them from expressing the full range of their humanity.
As we have seen, Eights begin to repress their fear and vulnerability so that they will be strong enough to meet whatever challenges they must. In highly dysfunctional families or in otherwise dangerous childhood environments, those challenges may be considerable, and in Eights, the result is a tough, aggressive person with a limited capacity to get close to others or to acknowledge their hurt. It is as if Eights must construct a tough carapace of aggressive ego defenses so no one will ever again be able to get at the soft, vulnerable person inside.
If Eights have suffered serious abuse in childhood, their faith in others and in the world becomes so damaged and closed off that they live in constant anticipation of rejection and betrayal. They find it difficult to trust anyone, and are consumed with rage at the injustices they feel have been perpetrated upon them. Unlike Sixes, who also have trust issues, and who may develop an aggressive style of defense against the world, Eights do not believe they can rely on anyone or anything outside themselves. Within their family system, they experienced themselves as the authoritative person. There was no one else to turn to for reassurance or guidance, so Eights are unwilling to allow their destiny or decision making capacity to be placed in anyone else’s hands ("The buck stops here.")
If there was some degree of warmth, nurturance, and mutual support in the Eight’s early childhood environment, chances are good that as an adult, the Eight will take a strongly protective role, especially with the few people that they trust and are close to. If there was little support or nurturance available, Eights tend to grow up with an "every man for himself" attitude. They feel as though they have had to struggle and fight to survive on their own, and if others are going to make it, they better be able to take care of themselves. Looking out after "number one" is a full time job, and caring too much about others becomes a survival risk.
We can see very clearly in this type how a child’s natural qualities—in this case, high energy, physical endurance, and willpower—combine with a family constellation to crystallize a particular pattern of behaviors and attitudes that determine a person’s identity. In the discussion of the Levels that follows, we will also see how these natural qualities, when positively encouraged and expressed lead to constructive, empowering human beings who leave a lasting legacy behind them. At the other end of the scale, where these energies have been twisted and distorted by abuse, we see vengeance, destructiveness, and a legacy of another kind.
Healthy Eights with a 9 wing often have an aura of preternatural calm, like they haven't had a self-doubt in decades. Take their authority for granted - queen or king of all they survey. May be gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, generally somewhat introverted. Sometimes a dry or ironic sense of humor. May have an aura of implicit, simmering anger rather like a sleeping volcano. Slow to erupt but when they do it's sudden and explosive. When entranced, the 9 wing brings an Eight a kind of callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they've hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don't know when to quit.
THE CHALLENGER
Overview of Type Eight
Everyday language comments regularly on the reasons for which power is being pursued. If it is narrowly confined to the interest of an individual or group, one says it is being sought for selfish ends; if it reflects the interest or perception of a much larger number of people, those involved are thought inspired leaders or statesmen...
Much less appreciated is the extent to which the purpose of power is the exercise of power itself. In all societies, from the most primitive to the ostensibly most civilized, the exercise of power is profoundly enjoyed. Elaborate rituals of obeisance—admiring multitudes, applauded speeches, precedence at dinners and banquets, a place in the motorcade, access to the corporate jet, the military salute—celebrate the possession of power. These rituals are greatly rewarding; so are the pleas and intercessions of those who seek to influence others in the exercise of power; and so, of course, are the acts of exercise—the instructions to subordinates, the military commands, the conveying of court decisions, the statement at the end of the meeting when the person in charge says, 'Well, this is what we'll do.' A sense of self-actuated worth derives from both the context and the exercise of power. On no other aspect of human existence is vanity so much at risk; in William Hazlitt's words, 'The love of power is the love of ourselves.' It follows that power is pursued not only for the service it renders to personal interests, values, or social perceptions but also for its own sake, for the emotional and material reward inherent in its possession and exercise. (John Kenneth Galbraith, The Anatomy of Power, 9-10.)
It is difficult to describe power without roaming into ambiguous matters—into a consideration of leadership, authority, will, courage, self-reliance, and destructiveness. What is the difference between willfulness and self-assertion, for example? "Will" can be thought of as good or bad, although more by its use than by what it is. It is difficult to say what gives a person authority or makes someone a particularly able leader. Is it proper to call the use of power with which we agree healthy, while condemning its use by those with whom we disagree? We cannot possibly begin to do justice to the complexities of power here, although they will, of course, be touched on because this chapter concerns itself with the personality type which most exemplifies power.
In the personality type Eight, we see courage, will, self-reliance, leadership, authority, self-assertion—and the dark side of power, the ability to destroy what power has created.
In the Instinctive Center
Eights are one of the three types in the Instinctive Center. All three personality types of this Center attempt to keep the environment from affecting them in different ways—Eights by dominating it, Nines by ignoring it, and Ones by striving to perfect it. Eights tend to assert themselves powerfully in the environment so that no one and nothing in it can have power over them.
Of all the types of the Enneagram, Eights are the most openly aggressive personality. They possess a powerful connection with their instinctive drives which gives them tremendous energy, self-confidence, and the desire to impact their world in some significant way. They are take-charge people who want to test their wills against the environment, including, of course, other people. No one can ignore Eights, and others do so only at their own risk. Because they are so strong-willed and forceful, Eights are among the easiest types to identify, although for the same reason they can be the most difficult to deal with because getting their way is so important to them. If they are healthy, they use their immense self-confidence and will to remake the environment in some constructive way. But if they are unhealthy, whatever power Eights have deteriorates into the desire to prevail over others, no matter what the cost, even if it means destroying anyone who stands in their way.
The source of their problem with resistance is that Eights that they are in conflict with the environment. They see the world around them in terms of struggle and endurance, and believe they must continually test their mettle against their environment if they are going to survive. This outlook leads them to a powerfully assertive style of self-expression, and because they assert themselves so readily, and usually with favorable results for themselves, they develop a sturdy feeling of confidence in their own powers. Eights have more steely determination and single-mindedness than any other personality type. What Eights do not recognize, however, is that their capacity to assert themselves can become immensely destructive if they allow their willfulness to get out of hand. When this happens, others are often galvanized into action against them, and their lives then actually are torn asunder by conflicts and strife. Their fears of being rendered helpless in a harsh and unforgiving world are made true.
Eights correspond to the extroverted intuitive type in the Jungian typology.
The [extroverted] intuitive...has a keen nose for anything new and in the making. Because he is always seeking out new possibilities, stable conditions suffocate him....Neither reason nor feeling can restrain him or frighten him away from a new possibility, even though it goes against all his previous convictions... Consideration for the welfare of others is weak. Their psychic well-being counts as little with him as does his own. He has equally little regard for their convictions and way of life, and on this account he is often put down as an immoral and unscrupulous adventurer. Since his intuition is concerned with externals and with ferreting out their possibilities, he readily turns to professions in which he can exploit these capacities to the full. Many business tycoons, entrepreneurs, speculators, stockbrokers, politicians, etc., belong to this type...
It goes without saying that such a type is uncommonly important both economically and culturally. If his intentions are good, i.e., if his attitude is not too egocentric, he can render exceptional service as the initiator or promoter of new enterprises. He is the natural champion of all minorities with a future. Because he is able, when oriented more to people than to things, to make an intuitive diagnosis of their abilities and potentialities, he can also 'make' men. His capacity to inspire courage or to kindle enthusiasm for anything new is unrivalled, although he may already have dropped it by the morrow. The stronger his intuition, the more his ego becomes fused with all the possibilities he envisions. He brings his vision to life, he presents it convincingly and with dramatic fire, he embodies it, so to speak. But this is not play-acting, it is a kind of fate. (C. G. Jung, Psychological Types, 368-369.)
Eights are confident that they can assert themselves until they achieve their goals and, as Jung notes, if they are not too egocentric, their personal goals will be extremely beneficial to others. They may build skyscrapers, cities, or nations which, while personal expressions, are also necessary for the well-being of others. Eights are the natural leaders among the personality types, and may even achieve some measure of historical greatness if their goals extend far enough beyond themselves to the common welfare. Their enormous self-confidence inspires others so that everyone's energies can be harnessed in a worthwhile undertaking.
Unfortunately, as Jung implies, Eights tend to become egocentric. They get carried away by the momentum of their egos and the projects they have set in motion. Even average Eights begin to pit themselves against others in a struggle for power and dominance, as if the welfare of others automatically means that their own welfare must suffer. Average Eights feel that there can be only one person in charge, and they intend to be that person. They feel that the world must adjust itself to them and that others must fall in line to help them accomplish their goals.
Given this disposition, it is not surprising that if they become unhealthy, Eights can be extremely dangerous. They become ruthlessly aggressive in the pursuit of their goals, even if it means, as it ultimately does, that the rights and needs of others will be sacrificed so that they alone can prevail. Thus, the two ends of the spectrum of their traits are starkly contrasting: when healthy, no other personality type has as great a capacity for exerting a constructive influence in the lives of so many people. But the reverse is that no other personality type can so completely misuse power or become so totally destructive as unhealthy Eights.
Problems with Aggression and Repression
The three personality types of the Instinctive Center have common problems with aggression, and with a lack of self-development as a result of repression. Each of these types has aggressive impulses which are either totally repressed (the Nine), or sublimated into idealistic work (the One), or forcefully expressed (the Eight). Also, each of these three types represses some aspect of the self, resulting in a characteristic effect on their personalities: in general, none of these three types thinks there is anything wrong with them. They think that all significant problems lie outside themselves in the environment, which they attempt either to dominate (Eights), find union with (Nines), or improve (Ones). Moreover, repression protects these types from feeling anxiety about the consequences of their actions, so they are able to go about their lives relatively unencumbered by emotional conflicts or self-doubt. In the short term, such a disposition simplifies matters for these types, but it can make life very difficult for others.
At first glance, it is difficult to see what Eights might be repressing. They certainly have few problems asserting themselves and their ideas, and they like to get straight to the point when they are communicating with people. They can be courageous, and will take on battles for the sake of the people they love, the things they believe in, or simply for their own self-interest. They have hearty appetites and enjoy their pleasures—so what are Eights not allowing in themselves?
Basically, Eights are driven by the fear of being dominated, harmed or controlled by others. As we have just seen, they see the world as a fairly "dog-eat-dog" place, and they do not intend to be eaten. Consequently, Eights believe they must keep up their guard and toughen themselves against the harsh realities of life, but in order to do this they must repress their own tenderness and vulnerability.
Eights are usually very sensitive as children, although their high energy and natural exuberance are often resisted or even feared by adults. Their vitality attracts friends, but also others who are threatened by it and so attack young Eights in subtle and not so subtle ways. As a result, Eights learn to steel themselves against life, to armor themselves, but they do so at the expense of their innate sensitivity and gentleness. Most Eights recall some pivotal childhood crisis in which they realized that they could no longer afford to be so open, and feel this intensely as one of the greatest tragedies of their lives.
But tragedy or not, Eights have made the decision to toughen themselves, and so their vulnerability, their softness, their need for affection, and their ability to ask for help must all be repressed. Most of all, Eights must repress their own fear because it is potentially the greatest threat to their independence and strength. Of course, beneath the surface, Eights are as afraid as everyone else, but they have learned to limit the degree to which their fear registers consciously. When it does, Eights will intentionally take on challenges which confront this fear directly. If they fear heights, they will learn to climb mountains or go sky diving. If they are afraid of animals, they will go hunting or trekking in the wilderness. Although we have mentioned the counterphobic aspect of type Six, type Eight really represents the counterphobic approach to life par excellence. Ironically, though, Eights who fear being controlled and dominated end up being controlled and dominated by this very fear.
Another casualty of type Eight’s repression of vulnerability is their connection with other people. In healthy Eights, we see the big-hearted, jovial disposition which reflects an Eight’s natural feelings state, but as they succumb to their fears, they begin to believe that they cannot afford to let others get close to them. They find it difficult to trust, and so try to convince themselves that they do not need people. They also harden their hearts by telling themselves that others are around because the Eight has something they need. This is particularly sad, because in fact, while Eights may recognize that people need them, they often do not believe that people love them, and they are often very afraid to admit the degree to which they really need and love others.
Parental Orientation
As young children, Eights were ambivalent to the nurturing-figure, the person in their early development who mirrored them, cared for them, and provided affection and a sense of personal value. This is often the mother or a mother substitute, but in some families, the father or an older sibling may serve as the nurturing-figure.
Eights did not strongly bond with or identify with their nurturing figure (like Threes), but they also did not psychologically separate from them entirely either (like Sevens). As a result, Eights learned that they could maintain some kind of connection with the nurturing-figure and fit into the family system by functioning in a role that was complementary to the nurturing-figure. The nurturing-figure represented (and therefore "owned") the qualities associated with motherhood: warmth, caring, nurturance, approval, gentleness, and sensitivity. Thus, the Eight identified with the complementary patriarchal role, and learned that the best way to get some sense of value, affection, and nurturance was to be "the strong one," the little protector, the one that others turn to for strength and guidance, especially in a crisis. Eights then identified completely with this role, feeling that to give it up is to lose their identity as well as any hope of ever being loved or cared for.
Like Twos and Fives, the other "ambivalent" types, Eights feel that their well-being and survival are dependent on fulfilling their role in life. Twos believe that they must always selflessly nurture and care for others, Fives believe that they have no role to play and must find one, and Eights believe that they must be the decisive, strong person who can handle the big problems and who is indifferent to hardship and suffering. As with all of the types, the healthy manifestations of these roles can lead to extremely important contributions to the people around them, or even in the world. However, as fear and insecurity grows, these roles become prisons which trap the types and prevent them from expressing the full range of their humanity.
As we have seen, Eights begin to repress their fear and vulnerability so that they will be strong enough to meet whatever challenges they must. In highly dysfunctional families or in otherwise dangerous childhood environments, those challenges may be considerable, and in Eights, the result is a tough, aggressive person with a limited capacity to get close to others or to acknowledge their hurt. It is as if Eights must construct a tough carapace of aggressive ego defenses so no one will ever again be able to get at the soft, vulnerable person inside.
If Eights have suffered serious abuse in childhood, their faith in others and in the world becomes so damaged and closed off that they live in constant anticipation of rejection and betrayal. They find it difficult to trust anyone, and are consumed with rage at the injustices they feel have been perpetrated upon them. Unlike Sixes, who also have trust issues, and who may develop an aggressive style of defense against the world, Eights do not believe they can rely on anyone or anything outside themselves. Within their family system, they experienced themselves as the authoritative person. There was no one else to turn to for reassurance or guidance, so Eights are unwilling to allow their destiny or decision making capacity to be placed in anyone else’s hands ("The buck stops here.")
If there was some degree of warmth, nurturance, and mutual support in the Eight’s early childhood environment, chances are good that as an adult, the Eight will take a strongly protective role, especially with the few people that they trust and are close to. If there was little support or nurturance available, Eights tend to grow up with an "every man for himself" attitude. They feel as though they have had to struggle and fight to survive on their own, and if others are going to make it, they better be able to take care of themselves. Looking out after "number one" is a full time job, and caring too much about others becomes a survival risk.
We can see very clearly in this type how a child’s natural qualities—in this case, high energy, physical endurance, and willpower—combine with a family constellation to crystallize a particular pattern of behaviors and attitudes that determine a person’s identity. In the discussion of the Levels that follows, we will also see how these natural qualities, when positively encouraged and expressed lead to constructive, empowering human beings who leave a lasting legacy behind them. At the other end of the scale, where these energies have been twisted and distorted by abuse, we see vengeance, destructiveness, and a legacy of another kind.
MikeINvalid
Community Member
- MBTI
- INF?
- Enneagram
- 6
6w5, but my 5 is not much higher than my 7