Ex Loves, let them go or keep?

[Ren]

Nothing good has ever resulted from my trying to stay in touch with my exes. But then, I'm not Jerry Seinfeld.

 

[mintoots]

Life is lived forward, not backward.

Wise wise words.

 

[G4RiiM]

 

[Siku]

I saw this topic on another forum, and it started me thinking about my exes and why I can't seem to let some of them go. There were a couple jerks I have no interest in talking to, and some more casual relationship exes I never think about. Then there are the ones that were really special, my great loves. I can't seem to let these ones go. I think of them often and am curious about their lives and if they are happy. There are two I email or im with and another I just check in with on facebook, even though we have very little in common these days.

I don't think I will ever stop caring about these people or wanting to know everything is okay with them. Does anyone feel the same way about exes? Is this an infj thing?

I definitely share the same. However, it's only when I'm single do I have this problem. When I'm with someone I focus on them purely.

While I know that moving on and letting them go is what should be done, I'm a total masochist with it. Anytime I see someone who reminds me of them (the great ones, not all of course) or two people who look so in-love I'm instantly brought back and it all surfaces. We live in a society where we're constantly reminded of such things as well so it's nearly unavoidable. To put it more simple, I can't just 'un-love' someone... and I have to be in the know if they're okay or not. With the only exception being, love tunnel-vision with another. And naturally, I'm deemed a stalker for wanting to know if they're okay if they don't share the same sentiments.

This is precisely why I'm also very much worried or scared of wrongfully comparing any new relationships and traits to older ones I miss... It's always the good ones....