Extreme Feelers - Question for ya

[Entyqua]

What you said doesn't fully make sense, unless... that's a very interesting thought, Enty! Maybe you force your whole Fe/Ti towards -> Fi/Te, which is... a little too much of a leap to make.

I've felt this when I had IxTP mentor, trying to teach me Ti (without realizing), in the end, like they do in the mass sects, I felt completely disturbed and insecure of what I am, it didn't work well. For a very short while I seem to have succeeded to get full grip of that Ti, just so that I know how it feels from inside. Brrrrr... I never want back there again. It goes against anything I am, because I can't doubt people all the time, this is not what Fi needs.

Anyway, the point is, it would be very interesting if people are able to force each other indeed to emulate the other set of functions, and the effect it has on them - probably not very positive effect, especially if these people have strong built character already.

So fight back! I mean, you shouldn't completely destroy yourself for this...

I guess that makes more sense...he could very well be TE and I am just trying to be what he needs me to be...Ive tried getting him to understand but TE against Fi....well I feel very meek when I try to get him to understand...

 

[Zero Angel]

My mom verbally abused the sensitivity out of me. When I'm meeting someone new I can act like I care, but generally I don't.

My customer service record is excellent but I probably talk more shit than anyone else I know.

E: this post makes me look like a dick but everyone tells me I'm a nice guy. Take it as you will, I guess.

That actually sounds very INTP-like. I know a couple of INTPs who are the exact same way, they're warm on the outside but cool on the inside.

 

[J. Cardigan]

I never get T, but my F is always incredibly low (think ~10-15%). There's a lot of things I feel but never say to anyone, just because I don't have friends that close anymore.

 

[Zero Angel]

I always wondered what it would be like to not exercise control over actions which stemmed from my emotions. I'm more of an Fe inhibited type though Fe is a fundamental driving force of my feelings, ethics, and insecurities.

I never get T, but my F is always incredibly low (think ~10-15%). There's a lot of things I feel but never say to anyone, just because I don't have friends that close anymore.

You're probably still an INFJ after all you know yourself the best. I just thought it was interesting, and your second remark sounds like me too.

 

[Zero Angel]

What you said doesn't fully make sense, unless... that's a very interesting thought, Enty! Maybe you force your whole Fe/Ti towards -> Fi/Te, which is... a little too much of a leap to make.

I've felt this when I had IxTP mentor, trying to teach me Ti (without realizing), in the end, like they do in the mass sects, I felt completely disturbed and insecure of what I am, it didn't work well. For a very short while I seem to have succeeded to get full grip of that Ti, just so that I know how it feels from inside. Brrrrr... I never want back there again. It goes against anything I am, because I can't doubt people all the time, this is not what Fi needs.

Anyway, the point is, it would be very interesting if people are able to force each other indeed to emulate the other set of functions, and the effect it has on them - probably not very positive effect, especially if these people have strong built character already.

So fight back! I mean, you shouldn't completely destroy yourself for this...

I agree with this. We are best when we are allowed to follow our own path and operate with our given set of strengths and limitations. Trying to force your own worldview to be different, out of perceived inadequacy, is a fools game. True learning does not simply involve putting logic on top of something that doesnt work (though it CAN work in some cases), but rather it transforms your perception so that you can see things you didnt before. Trying to become different would only lead to a stressed and neurotic personality (PASS: or Prolonged Adaptive Stress Disorder / falsification of type).

In a way I get why INTJs have such a tough time understanding the feelings of others, and to force the issue or allow yourself to be forced by the issue would be to play a negative sum game (one party gains little while the other loses a lot). Fortunately we have the capability to integrate opposing functions into our personality with few (if any) ill-effects as we get older.

Entyqua, as of now you are trying and in this case that is enough. If your INTJ makes attempts as well, then I dont see how things cannot work out on this matter. Then again, sometimes you just have to get mad and let your objections be heard.

 

[Questingpoet]

I missed this thread earlier, but will chime in now. I am a high Fe person too. I didn't think so, but tests and self exploration have told me so. It is actually higher than my Ni at times. I too am in a Fi phase right now though. I am pretty in touch with my Fe/Fi. It's what I use to write most of the time, marry it with some Ti and you get some awsome writes.

But as far as Fe, well you have to be careful. Most people cannot handle the full force of it. I have to hold it back, hide it so to speak. Unless you are an NF type with empathic skills, you just don't understand the depths. You always get hurt because you always feel more than they do. Yes, its how we relate but we have to hold back most times. It is hard, there is no doubt. True connections are so rare and so precious.

 

[laurie]

LOL We communicate very well, we get along really well...But he has a hard time understanding my FE needs...

Verbalise - this is what always needs to be done in pretty much any relationship, friends or otherwise. People cannot read your minds (unless, possibly, if they're an INFJ ) so you need to tell them what's up. I learnt this the long, hard way.

I guess I'm quite strongly Fe. I just tend to distance that bit of myself from certain situations and people automatically, to stop it from making me overly stressed or upset. I use distance rather than altering to Ti, usually. Sometimes I do, I think sometimes you have to if you can't allow any emotion to get in the way of a decision (for example, getting out of a relationship, I guess).
It's not bad to change, but it may put unnecessary stress on you to do so. If it doesn't, there's no problem as far as I can see ^^"

 

[Entyqua]

Entyqua, as of now you are trying and in this case that is enough. If your INTJ makes attempts as well, then I dont see how things cannot work out on this matter. Then again, sometimes you just have to get mad and let your objections be heard.

I am trying, I cant say for him. I know he tries to show an interest in what I do, and who I am...but at times it seems more like spying, or mistrust. We've talked about this also. I cant help him understand emotion. So I just revert to hiding it. I dont do it on purpose, its a very natural transition for me, but I will always explode after a period of staying in this phase, as ENFPcanbeshy said going from FE/Ti to Fi/TE, (and my tests have always come up with an unused Ti/Te function for me). So every few months or so we get in huge fights because my FE has broken free of my transitions and is PISSED off that it is not being cared for...I can see how much of the blame in this is my own, for not showing him who I truly am so much earlier, but I have always been this way. Ive always had to hide the emotional side of me.

So...it seems the blame is on me, how does one move forward?

 

[rainrise]

i'm not sure if i have a high Fe, but i know i do feel things very intensely and am highly sensitive to my surroundings. i don't have the option to turn it off; i can acknowledge it and control my actions so as to not be behaviourally influenced by it, but this doesn't lessen the intensity to which i feel.

 

[Solar Empath]

So...it seems the blame is on me, how does one move forward?

This question can be filed with 'What is the meaning of life' I think. The only answer I have it to connect to each other on an emotional level. You have to find that magic love you sometimes feel inside. The kicker is, he has to as well. It can't be one-sided.

Good luck.

EDIT: and I have a huge Fe as well, so I know how insanely hard it is to communicate what you feel verbally. The words are mere shadows at best.

 

[Entyqua]

This question can be filed with 'What is the meaning of life' I think. The only answer I have it to connect to each other on an emotional level. You have to find that magic love you sometimes feel inside. The kicker is, he has to as well. It can't be one-sided.

Good luck.

EDIT: and I have a huge Fe as well, so I know how insanely hard it is to communicate what you feel verbally. The words are mere shadows at best.

Thank you SE...I think your right...All i can do is try!