falling in love with our counterpart

[Morgain]

it wasn't defined in the article, it just spoke of general counterparts, think outside of the MBTI boxes. Any tread you have and the other person lack. Like when someone who can't express emotions will fall for someone who over express emotions.

 

[Tamagochi]

I do not wholly support the counterpart theory. Seen too many couples broken after the initial attraction wore off - including my own parents (INTP and ESFJ). But some do manage to stay together. So it's not a hard rule.

In general if one has to constantly rely on the other then I would not call it a healthy relationship. It quickly transforms into clinginess or neediness. Mature love should be based on admiration and acceptance instead.

Also there seems to be statistical evidence that people who share at least some of character traits and interests have better chances at long-term relationship. There has to be something that binds them together.

Like when someone who can't express emotions will fall for someone who over express emotions.

It's hard to imagine a successful couple like that. They would constantly nag each other. Unless the one who is reserved secretively longs to let his emotions out but needs some pull.

 

[Morgain]

I do not wholly support the counterpart theory. Seen too many couples broken after the initial attraction wore off - including my own parents (INTP and ESFJ). But some do manage to stay together. So it's not a hard rule.

In general if one has to constantly rely on the other then I would not call it a healthy relationship. It quickly transforms into clinginess or neediness. Mature love should be based on admiration and acceptance instead.

Also there seems to be statistical evidence that people who share at least some of character traits and interests have better chances at long-term relationship. There has to be something that binds them together.

that is what the OP is about. That if you fall for your counterpart, in many cases the attraction wears off. One reason for this can be that you develop your shadow threads and so you don't need your counterpart to complete you

so you make my point exactly, lol!

 

[Io-]

I think it's possible that someone with well-developed functions would fall in love less easily because they wouldn't need someone as much. In other words, they wouldn't fall in love necessarily because they need to feel loved or appreciated, like many people do, but rather because they want a relationship with the other person. In other words, they don't fall in love with love, but love with the Other. At least, that's a theory.

However, I think that more people tend to fall in love with someone who is well-rounded because they have a higher likelihood of seeing some aspect the are attracted to in that person, especially if that person is kind and open. Sometimes a well-rounded person is more intimidating and strong, but even that often creates admiration.

The thing about the counterpart relationship is that it does create a strongly passionate relationship, but it seems to die as the passion dies. Real, lasting love is not greatly passionate; it is calm, appreciative, and nurturing rather than emotional and turbulent. So, in my opinion, it is better to find someone who you can relate to on an un-romantic as well as romantic level because those are the people you'll be able to stand once the passion begins to level out.

I agree, although I also think that people don't necessarily grow at the same rate, so "falling in love" is not something that only happens at the beginning of the relationship but is a cyclical thing as couples drift apart to learn new stuff, then meet again in the middle... ... then it's a newer updated version

 

[monimonster]

I've always gone nuts over ENTP's, which I think along with ESTP's is who Jung suggested INFJ's should end up with. The opposite and all that. N's are always fascinating so the ENTP it's always been. Trouble is I get so bashed around by ENTP's, figuratively and even literally. Oh the draw of the nemesis. I think the attraction is that I feel as though I think like an ENTP on the inside, and to see my inner processes replicated in anything external invokes a narcisistic response.

I've learnt through the processes of life experience and wisdom that ENFP's suit me far better. Just like an ENTP but far gentler on little old me.

I'd say definitely ENFP is the best match for INFJ.

 

[Starry Night]

I'd say definitely ENFP is the best match for INFJ.

No, read up on what experiences Infjs have made with Enfps and youll see its not the best match in general at all. Maybe for you though. I think it strongly depends on the individual. I could never be with a T some other Infjs very well could, it comes down to what you want, ask yourself that and dont give anything about what some author thinks is the best match for you! I often read that Infjs should be together with Estjs! *shudders* Thats one of the worst matches for an Infj and yet some promote it! I know what I want and I dont care about "counterparts", to me the more differences you have with the other person the more trouble you will face, its as simple as that.

If you want a relationship mainly for your growth go for someone with (a lot of) differences, if you want a relationship that is lasting do the opposite.

 

[IndigoSensor]

I'd say definitely ENFP is the best match for INFJ.

Different strokes for different folks. There is no such thing as a best and worst match for any type. Everyone has developled (or not developed) differently, and as such will be better aligned with different types. Personally, I'd shoot him, or myself if I had to date an ENFP. I think the best type for me is some kind of IxxJ, but that certainly will not translate to everyone else.

 

[Melkor]

Why do you all care about relationships so much?

Christ, every other topic is bemoaning some lost aspect or newfound dysfunction of human relations.

I'm trying very hard to remain loveless here, and thanks to all you heartless buggers I keep getting pangs with all these lovey dovey threads floating about.

Spare a thought for a busy robot please.

 

[Solongo]

I fell in love with my counterpart with a lot of resistance. Somehow as an INFJ i imagined it to be a different way. But now it kinda makes sense and i am very happy. he is an enfp.