For Women

[Kgal]

I'm really uncomfortable with the sexual objectification of men via the "gray sweatpants season" memes.
Yes, I get the old joke about gray sweatpants. Why are we doing to men what women have been asking men to stop doing to us?

Someone I follow on social media posted that a woman approached him at the gym and told him he shouldn't be working out in gray sweatpants because he has too much to offer. WTH? He said he was uncomfortable and self-conscious for the rest of the workout.
While this is a "taste your own medicine" moment, I'll never be comfortable with objectifying people.

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

Agree wholeheartedly. I try...and I emphasize the word try....to see men(and women) as Human Beings first. They're people first with Human Thoughts/Emotions/Beliefs/Soul BEFORE they are gender.
From what I'm seeing men are going through their dark nights of the souls just as women are doing these days. Every one of us is hurting in some way or the other.
Good call! I am not familiar with this idea of grey sweatpants but it must be promoted in social media....otherwise where would that woman get the idea? Just shows how deeply the programming is for those that watch.
That woman deserves a WTH.

Another action I've been taking is working on forgiving....and then letting it go. I have a challenging time understanding why men(my peers specifically) just cannot let go and admit they are wrong. My guidance came through and told me it's because I won't forgive them for being wrong. So...I've been working on that within myself....walking the valley of shadow as it were....forgiving the oppressors in my long life. In this way I can let all the past wrongs go and we can move forward with lighter ease.

 

[Asa]

I think it is natural to objectify in mind, but to actually approach someone as if it is your 'right' to place your own stringent expectations upon them on how or what they should be, is presumptuous on a level I'm uncomfortable with. I think it's akin to men telling women that they cannot wear something out in public as if it is somehow representative of them in any way; I honestly see it as a form of control and extremely unhealthy.

Yes, of course, people can think whatever they want privately, in their minds. Some of those thoughts are conditioning, too, and it helps to be self-aware and objectively critique oneself. Sharing those thoughts, or acting on those thoughts, is the problem.

This is something I don't really cope with as a sapiosexual and demisexual. I don't lust for random good-looking men. So, maybe this makes me judge those who do more strongly because I don't get it. I will keep this in mind. ...I'm not saying I don't have my own problems.

The human body should be allowed to exist in public unscrutinized, as long as no one is forcing others to view their naughty bits openly in a space which doesn't allow it. I don't understand why anyone feels the 'right' to harbor judgment about another person's body.

I agree with you*.

I think it has more to do with that woman at the gym having guilt in objectifying him in her mind, and saying something to him somehow passed the guilt onto him as a projection of her own insecurities. It's telling, and laughable.

Maybe. Or maybe she is just being selfish and forgetting that she isn't the star of the "world play" and that we all have leading roles in our own lives and she is an "extra" in most lives.


*I'm not saying I don't agree with you where I added more comments. I'm just expanding on thoughts.

 

[Asa]

Agree wholeheartedly. I try...and I emphasize the word try....to see men(and women) as Human Beings first. They're people first with Human Thoughts/Emotions/Beliefs/Soul BEFORE they are gender.

Yes! Me, too.

From what I'm seeing men are going through their dark nights of the souls just as women are doing these days. Every one of us is hurting in some way or the other.

Yes, agree.

Good call! I am not familiar with this idea of grey sweatpants but it must be promoted in social media....otherwise where would that woman get the idea? Just shows how deeply the programming is for those that watch.
That woman deserves a WTH.

It's an old joke turned into a meme where women are "watching" and "on the hunt" during sweatpants season. The joke is because sweatpants are revealing. These memes are all over my feed and I keep clicking "hide".

Another action I've been taking is working on forgiving....and then letting it go. I have a challenging time understanding why men(my peers specifically) just cannot let go and admit they are wrong. My guidance came through and told me it's because I won't forgive them for being wrong. So...I've been working on that within myself....walking the valley of shadow as it were....forgiving the oppressors in my long life. In this way I can let all the past wrongs go and we can move forward with lighter ease.

This is a great practice.
I think he was just posting about how uncomfortable he was to give the issue a voice. There's also a perspective here that feminism isn't about women pantomiming toxic masculinity, and/or this "can't beat them so join them" mentality.

Personally, when men approach me I'm usually forgiving because we are all awkward humans trying to ice skate through this world and people are lonely and hoping to find other warm bodies or connections. There is nothing wrong with that even if the words weren't "the right thing to say". If what a person says is crass, pushy, humiliating, threatening, etc, I tell them off because their objective isn't friendly.

 

[Kgal]

I think he was just posting about how uncomfortable he was to give the issue a voice. There's also a perspective here that feminism isn't about women pantomiming toxic masculinity, and/or this "can't beat them so join them" mentality.

Admitting he was uncomfortable is fabulous to see! I know it's a "pot calling the kettle black" moment. Yet if we didn't allow him to speak he would just ignore his feelings and we'd all be the poorer for it.

 

[Kgal]

This is a loving reminder to all you women here:
You Are a Goddess living a life here in human form. Love yourself with all of your Being....for the world is lucky you are here! <3

 

[Asa]

<3 It's beautiful @Kgal. Thank you for sharing this with us.

 

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

Thank you @Kgal <3 I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

 

[Anomaly]

This is a loving reminder to all you women here:
You Are a Goddess living a life here in human form. Love yourself with all of your Being....for the world is lucky you are here! <3

Thank you, beautiful soul.

 

[Anomaly]

Yes, of course, people can think whatever they want privately, in their minds. Some of those thoughts are conditioning, too, and it helps to be self-aware and objectively critique oneself. Sharing those thoughts, or acting on those thoughts, is the problem.

This is something I don't really cope with as a sapiosexual and demisexual. I don't lust for random good-looking men. So, maybe this makes me judge those who do more strongly because I don't get it. I will keep this in mind. ...I'm not saying I don't have my own problems.

I agree with you*.

Maybe. Or maybe she is just being selfish and forgetting that she isn't the star of the "world play" and that we all have leading roles in our own lives and she is an "extra" in most lives.

*I'm not saying I don't agree with you where I added more comments. I'm just expanding on thoughts.

I'm the same way. I am sapio and demi- sexual as well. More so sapio, as intelligence is key-- and depth of conversation of utmost importance, but I cannot deny the need to be one with another in a transcendental way, knit and synchronous in a way.

I think it helps to try to discern the antecedent to any behavior. Sometimes, we are critical of things that we assume in the moment, while being completely unaware of what has happened prior to the individual to drive them to such behaviors. I'm glad that you are open to analyzing your own mindsets. I respect you for this.

Yes, I don't know that I will ever understand other's need to dictate who or what others should or should not be. As you said, the star of the 'world play'. It demonstrates a heightened view of self, and is one of the ugliest parts of human-nature, in my opinion. Humility is learned.

Asa, even if you didn't agree with me, I'd welcome your thoughts. I appreciate you.

 

[Asa]

Asa, even if you didn't agree with me, I'd welcome your thoughts. I appreciate you.

I appreciate you, too. For me, discussions are about the exchange of ideas so different points of view add depth. There are only a few topics where I lack this perspective.

I'm glad that you are open to analyzing your own mindsets. I respect you for this.

Thank you. This may actually be a weakness because I lack favoritism with myself to such an extreme. More on that some other time.

I'm the same way. I am sapio and demi- sexual as well. More so sapio, as intelligence is key-- and depth of conversation of utmost importance, but I cannot deny the need to be one with another in a transcendental way, knit and synchronous in a way.

This doesn't surprise me. It fits you.

One of my boyfriends was a high school drop-out, but street smart. I was a naive and sheltered teenager. He wasn't an intellectual, but he had a world of knowledge I lacked. I'm not attracted to people who put others down, or try to make others look bad, so that wiped out my interest in many intellectuals, too.

Yes, I don't know that I will ever understand other's need to dictate who or what others should or should not be. As you said, the star of the 'world play'. It demonstrates a heightened view of self, and is one of the ugliest parts of human-nature, in my opinion. Humility is learned.

The heightened view of self that causes people to approach others in this manner was what I wanted to address. Absolutely.

 

[Kgal]

I hope laughter finds all of you here and kisses you fervently!

 

[Anomaly]

I hope laughter finds all of you here and kisses you fervently!

Lmao. Reading naked pitfalls. The papercuts can be brutal.

 

[Anomaly]

I appreciate you, too. For me, discussions are about the exchange of ideas so different points of view add depth. There are only a few topics where I lack this perspective.



Thank you. This may actually be a weakness because I lack favoritism with myself to such an extreme. More on that some other time.



This doesn't surprise me. It fits you.

One of my boyfriends was a high school drop-out, but street smart. I was a naive and sheltered teenager. He wasn't an intellectual, but he had a world of knowledge I lacked. I'm not attracted to people who put others down, or try to make others look bad, so that wiped out my interest in many intellectuals, too.



The heightened view of self that causes people to approach others in this manner was what I wanted to address. Absolutely.

Not showing yourself favortism, that idea resounds deeply. <3 I'd love to 'listen' to any of the things you'd like to share, Asa.

 

[Ginny]

I hope laughter finds all of you here and kisses you fervently!

18th Century fashion could be awful

 

[Kgal]

Happy Winter Solstice to all you northern hemisphere goddesses here! May your contemplations in the dark reveal your hidden strengths to you. <3 To all you southern hemisphere goddess may the Light shine brightly on the love in your heart.

 

[Asa]

Happy Winter Solstice to all you northern hemisphere goddesses here! May your contemplations in the dark reveal your hidden strengths to you. <3 To all you southern hemisphere goddess may the Light shine brightly on the love in your heart.

Happy Solstice, Kgal!