Friends and Boy Friends?

@QP - It is not boorish behaviour.

Women want platonic trust filled relationships and cant get them with women so they look at men for them.
Men want platonic trust filled relationships, and CAN get them wiith men, so do not bother with them with women unless the relationship is already there and cannot sleep with them because of pre existing sexual relationships.

Women wont find the same equilibrium within relationships that men have until the female culture stops being one of bitches.
The minority always suffers through the actions of the majority.
 
My closest friends have usually been guys and unless they were in a relationship already, we've always ended up dating at some point.

My best friend is my ex-boyfriend. And to be totally honest, I suspect he'd be interested in getting back together if I wanted to. But I don't. Because he's a huge drama queen.
 
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I have found it easier to have long lasting friendship with men. I dont get along with women well, never have. I am what some would call tom boyish...I do guy things, and am very brash, and have a mouth to put a sailor to shame...I am not at all the girly girl. I clean up nice, and know I can look good, but for the most part...I want nothing of it.

I have one good friend who is a woman, but that is because she is like me.

All other close friends I have ever had are men...

Once upon a time, sex would have been involved, and it was a time or two, but it was never anything more than that.

In a friendship between a man and a woman certain feelings are bound to come up. There is no question about it, and it can destroy the friendship that was, but on the other hand it can be done.
 
Yeah I'm going to have to say that this is a weird phenomenon for everyone else but not I. I'm not saying I have a lot of guy friends, but this is because I do not have a lot of friends in general, I've never dated any of them.

If there is someone I like they never get into the 'friend' slice of things. They know my intentions from the start and I make it clear to those I am not interested in, that I am not interested in them.
 
Bored Now said:
I don't understand you phallically inclined types anymore. When I was in a relationship, I had mostly guy friends. No problems, it was all good times. Now that I'm single, it's all complicated and completely different. I literally feel like I have to be suspicious of people's motives. What's wrong with being just friends? Why is it this impossible thing? Its... kind of hurtful in a sense too. Like "Damn, you were only my friend because you thought something more would come of it? I thought it was because you thought I was a cool chick. " *rant over*
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Shai Gar said:
dont know why. I know women want guy friends because they seem to want a sex free relationship with someone who wont stab them in the back smiling and they know they wont get THAT from a girl.
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Fake Plastic Alice said:
the majority of my friends are guys and it's usually one of these ways:

-we've been friends for so long there's no way we could go there, it's like a brother/sister relationship

-they start to show interest as more than a friend, seemingly outta nowhere, and it kinda ruins things

-they're exes so been there done that not again

- they're male sluts so of course they try to sleep with me but know i never would so we just laugh it all off

-they're gay, or committed to other ppl

And then i've run into guys who do not understand the concept of being friends with women whatsoever

Though, all that said, i think the majority of men cannot just be friends with women.
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Shai Gar said:
@QP - It is not boorish behaviour.

Women want platonic trust filled relationships and cant get them with women so they look at men for them.
Men want platonic trust filled relationships, and CAN get them wiith men, so do not bother with them with women unless the relationship is already there and cannot sleep with them because of pre existing sexual relationships.

Women wont find the same equilibrium within relationships that men have until the female culture stops being one of bitches.
The minority always suffers through the actions of the majority.
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I agree with all of this. ^^ It's sad but it's true.
 
oh right, the exception is of course with the impossible; people on other continents when such a relationship is outside your economic means
 
Shai Gar said:
men only friendzone fugly women
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Not necessarily, although this
Shai Gar said:
IF a guy is really not that interested in a relationship, good chance he's not even interested in friendship.
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holds true. My friend is pretty attractive, but after hanging out with her I find her kind of dull and I don't really know why we're friends. We used to smoke a bunch of weed together but I can't really do that anymore, so I dunno.

This is also assuming she was hanging out with me because she had feelings for me, but considering our background that's really not such a stretch. She also hasn't introduced me to any of her attractive friends which kind of suggests something to me (either I'm an uggo or she wants me to herself).

I don't know and at this point I don't think I care.
 
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oh right, the exception is of course with the impossible; people on other continents when such a relationship is outside your economic means
 
I think it is certainly possible, though I don't have much experience with any sort of deep friendship outside of online, also my sexuality might play a role in this since well I am not interested in the opposite sex in that sort of way, I think I can certainly be a close companion, adviser, friend without necessarily getting that far.
 
Bored Now said:
But...but WHY? *rant*

I don't understand you phallically inclined types anymore. When I was in a relationship, I had mostly guy friends. No problems, it was all good times. Now that I'm single, it's all complicated and completely different. I literally feel like I have to be suspicious of people's motives. What's wrong with being just friends? Why is it this impossible thing? Its... kind of hurtful in a sense too. Like "Damn, you were only my friend because you thought something more would come of it? I thought it was because you thought I was a cool chick. " *rant over*

I can be friends with a guy for years and not have the remotest sexual or romantic interest in him whatsoever. Hell, even my flirting is not serious. I'm pretty direct. If I want you, I'll tell you so, point blank.
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Maybe they thought you were a cool chick. The next step would be to have sex with a cool chick. Why wouldnt they want that?
 
uberrogo said:
Maybe they thought you were a cool chick. The next step would be to have sex with a cool chick. Why wouldnt they want that?
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So insightful... :wink:
 
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Such a cynical lot.j/k :D
I'd like to think that people can be friends regardless of gender, sexuality, race all those damnable labels. It all depends on intentions, ideals, the choice to exercise self-control and look out for the other person's best interests - and if they look out for yours too, it's really what friendship is about. There's not one truth that fits every situation.



I'll talk about me, because what else do I really know about - the rest is guess work. I'm attracted to women, sure. I much prefer female friends to male friends, because I relate to them better, on the whole. It doesn't mean I want to sleep with every one of them. I can find them attractive and not want to sleep with them - if it's not in the interests of the friendship. I'm not an animal devoid of reason, needing to hump everything that has the appropriate appearance, and you know what - it's not always neccessary to consider things in terms of sex. It's totally possible to switch that off and focus on friendship. Sex isn't everything. Friendship can transcend that - and can last for a lifetime. You might all think I'm full of it, and really, that's okay. I say all this with a smile. My heart is light. It's hard to convey that in words, but friendship is beautiful, wherever it is found, and can be treasured, without allowing the ego or the sexual beast within to get in the way. Think of childhood - the time before all this became an issue - when friendships were free and gender wasn't neccesarily a division. I don't see why that can't continue into adulthood. No seriously, I've yet to hear a good reason why not.:couch2:
 
Keep talking like that ^^^ and women will want to have sex with you and be your friend!

(hugs)

Joking, but totally agree.
 
I don't think there is a reason HE. We should and can have these friendships if we desire. They are possible and can be very fufulling. I still think most men though have a hard time doing this--even the good ones. I also a believe as you said, that every person and situation is unique. I too have more female friends than male friends at this point in my life (many are online). I feel more free to discuss things with them. And they are more sympathetic and better listeners. My observations tell me this is not the case for most men. I have had issues separating the whole female/friendship thing in the past as well. I suppose this is something that we can get better at as we get older.


hmm...interesting. I'm contradicting my earlier post just a bit, but this has me thinking. Perhaps I'm wasn't looking at my current situation as closely and was thinking of the past more.
 
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uberrogo said:
Maybe they thought you were a cool chick. The next step would be to have sex with a cool chick. Why wouldnt they want that?
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Why can't they pretend I'm a boy then? I have yet to hear one of my straight guy friends say "Ted's an awesome guy. I bet he'd be even more awesome bent over my kitchen table". Meh.
 
Bored Now said:
I have yet to hear one of my straight guy friends say "Ted's an awesome guy. I bet he'd be even more awesome bent over my kitchen table".
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You'll hear a lot of this once you master mind-reading. :m024:
 
I know Ted. Ted is such a slut.

He's better when he's sucking cock than taking it up the pooter though.
 
Most of my friends are male and I have different relationships with each of them. There are the friends with benefits that I have fooled around with in the past, there are the exes, there are my boyfriend's buddies, and then there are my completely platonic male friends. I don't have many of them, but they do exist. They are single, heterosexual males who are simply not attracted to me and as far as I know, never have been. I am "one of the guys" when they think of me. This is probably because we have similar interests and I am not their type. This is not an incredibly common relationship, but I have several male friends that fall into this category and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
 
DevilDoll said:
Most of my friends are male and I have different relationships with each of them. There are the friends with benefits that I have fooled around with in the past, there are the exes, there are my boyfriend's buddies, and then there are my completely platonic male friends. I don't have many of them, but they do exist. They are single, heterosexual males who are simply not attracted to me and as far as I know, never have been. I am "one of the guys" when they think of me. This is probably because we have similar interests and I am not their type. This is not an incredibly common relationship, but I have several male friends that fall into this category and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
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Aww, we wouldn't trade you either.
 
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