Friendship

just me said:
A friend will try to carry someone that is hurt through the storm, lightning and rains thrashing about all around. When the physical doctors cannot find a solution, the person decides to stop going for help: knowing it will lead them to reveal their true problem. What is so bad about treating a problem? Next is being told to leave. Friends can get trampled on, run over, and taken advantage of in this kind of situation. Therefore, I think a friend is there during times of anger and even rage, confusion, being misguided, and mostly being sick. Friends put others first. Replies?
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What I understand from this is: a friend who isn't there during times of distress is not a friend. I agree. Acts matter more than words, though of course words can sometimes be acts.

In the end it may perhaps not matter so much what kind of "being there" it is, so long as you are indeed there in some way. A strong friendship can be tested through times of hardship.
 
Wyote said:
It's the connection. People know it when they feel it. When both people feel it and both people know that they both feel it, you have a friend.
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invisible said:
someone who treats my sovereignty of self with respect at the same time as having my best interests at heart.
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Reason With Logic Filling said:
The very small number of people who deserve to be respected and can reasonably be trusted.
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Wyote said:
Perhaps a friend is a heart mender, of sorts. I'd like that in a friend anyway.
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Ren said:
"Be careful with calling this person a friend, you've only known him for what, one year? That's too early to call him a friend. Friendships develop over many years, when you know you can count on people and they can count on you."
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Happy Phantom said:
A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.” Jim Morrrison
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Just about covers it for me.
Nice thread @Ren. :helios:
 
infinite dreams said:
A friend is someone you can trust to tell you the truth when you need to hear it, provide comfort and sympathy when you need that, and to understand which is appropriate for you given the circumstance.
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This is important too.
 
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Michel de Montaigne was a profound and elegant French philosopher, active in the 16th century. His master work, Essays, is considered to this day to be one of the towering achievements of French literature, both in style and content. His writing, sometimes composed in the aphoristic style, is warm, intimate and enveloping, yet also razor-sharp and hits the soul. He also had some thoughts to share about friendship.

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I actually think of my German Shepherd and Jack Russell when the term "friend" comes up.
 
just me said:
I actually think of my German Shepherd and Jack Russell when the term "friend" comes up.
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Would you say this is based on the love they give you, and that you give them in return? The innocence of that love too, perhaps?
 
It is based on a lot of things. Friendship is almost never based on love alone. They are allowed to hang out with me every day. They go to work with me more than not. They each have unique personalities. Big guy will trust me to help him if he is wounded or has a thorn in his paw. Little one has allowed me to remove food stuck in the roof of her mouth without biting or growling at me. They trust me. They depend on me. They let me know when it is walk time. I think of them because of proximity.
I think of them because one will protect me if needed. They are always there to cheer me up when I am down. I often think they might feel I am the leader of the pack, so to speak. We are a team.

Innocence, concerning love, has me to ask what kind of love you are speaking of? Maybe I love them because my heart is a loving heart by nature? Maybe they feed off my facial and body expressions, or maybe the way I treat them? They won't divorce me. They won't scream at me. They won't be mean to me. We are friends indeed.
 
Friendship for most people is an alignment of ego-projection imo. People love it when someone repeated what they have in mind, no matter if it's true or false, or if one stays long enough in other's close perimeter. For a truth seeker this can be unbearable after a while. I think Aristotle's quote sure is deep. It's probably insufficient to just be a friendly and helpful person to just everyone, but you need to be friend with someone because you deem they are more special to you than others. If this quote is true, then the question is what draws people together? What is the pivotal point that makes someone decides they want to bond? my personal experience tells me that friendship is fragile and transient, ready to be reevaluated when their mutual interest or intangible agreement doesn't align with one another anymore. Ironically, the second best choice to close friendship is the one mentioned by Aristotle, a distant friendship -- be friendly and kind to people in general, but close with barely anyone.

But maybe I'm just a pessimist, idk.
 
just me said:
Innocence, concerning love, has me to ask what kind of love you are speaking of? Maybe I love them because my heart is a loving heart by nature? Maybe they feed off my facial and body expressions, or maybe the way I treat them? They won't divorce me. They won't scream at me. They won't be mean to me. We are friends indeed.
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That's a good question: what love are we speaking of when we speak about "love"? What is love?

This could be a philosophy thread for you to create, @just me :wink:
 
The use of "innocence" with "love" drove me down that path, @Ren. I feel it a natural thing for us all to ask this question, "what is love", many times in our journey through life. Must we love a friend? Must it be called innocent? One long before me spoke to love your neighbor as yourself. Now I think back regarding the innocence of life. I have been tumbled and lost a good bit of rough edges, but I can say it alright to love a friend. If a man is too manly to admit he has loved a dog or a child, that is fine. Love is to me the embodiment of life, and friendship one of its many tributaries.
 
spudscoffee said:
Friendship is not all about hearing the most beautiful things from your friend. A true friend will tell you what you exactly need to hear or know whether it's good or not.
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Agreed! Sorry, I meant to reply to this earlier.

I think a friend is someone who tells you what you need to hear in a nice way, rather than just nice things. Being too blunt can be counterproductive while only saying nice things doesn't really give perspective to the other person. I treasure those moments when a friend helps me get over something faster by shaking me a little bit. And I think when a friend is being purely positive and nice is all the more potent when you know that friend is perfectly capable of telling you you're fucking up if you're fucking up.
 
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