Omg, I've felt this way so many times before. People will be your friend if you help them, if you provide "entertainment." But if you have problems...byebye. Ugh. Some people will say that you're not "being yourself" and you've "changed" but that's all fucking BS. A true friend would stay by your side no matter what. I've found this kind of unconditional love with my parents...I know they'll always love me no matter what the hell I do or say. I haven't found this with anyone else though....I'm beginning to think that perhaps, this kind of unconditional love will only be present with my parents, because I'm a part of them...however, the relationship BETWEEN my parents is definitely not that good. I'm not sure I really believe in true love or true friendships anymore. Perhaps other people have experienced something like this. Who knows. Maybe they think they have, but they still haven't shown their ugliest flaws to the other person. I've created idealistic views on true love/friends in my head, and I'm constantly disappointed by the world.
Anyways...yeah, it's hard to find a true friend :\. People are selfish. When things get complicated, there's more profit, and they leave. An obvious example might be someone who gets an unconvenient disease, and their family/friends fade away. That's just sad.
I think that the only way to cope is to depend less on others...I haven't accepted this at all. Meaningful relationships are the core of the reason of my existence, and being alone isn't acceptable. This disadvantages me and makes me "weak" to a certain degree, because I'm reliant on other humans. However, I prefer no company to bad company.
For a while, I had the total don't-give-a-fuck about anyone's opinion kind of mindset. I was brutally/harshly honest, a complete nonconformist, probably really weird to other people/disliked, etc. However, I've realized that it's good to have a moderation....in other words, conforming just a little bit. I don't really care about small time, but I do it anyways when I'm meeting a new person for the first time. People just aren't ready for awesome card games or topics such as "So are we actually living in virtual reality?" as openers. I try not to be completely honestly [as in, not lying, but not telling the complete truth..and sometimes BSing a little bit and trying to be friendly when I'm pissed off at my teacher] etc. Conforming a little bit is necessary to function in this society. Besides, hiding my true self a little bit is just more convenient, since I can just be on good terms with people and not be stressed.