''Gaydar'''

invisible said:
i never make assumptions because i have been wrong so many times! there are so many reasons why someone can project a given vibe at any time and i find it really confusing!
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Now this it what I am talking about! Agreed!
 
invisible said:
i never make assumptions because i have been wrong so many times! there are so many reasons why someone can project a given vibe at any time and i find it really confusing!
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I make assumptions, but by Bayes' theorem (and the accuracy of my Gaydar and the percentage of people who are gay) I should still assume all people are straight until further evidence suggests otherwise.
 
dark_angel said:
Ok seeing your photo I thought you were gay, atleast bi but they I realised you and dove have something going on sooooo...:noidea: Gaydar is never a sure thing...it is just an assumption we all make about many things every day and should not be taken for granted.
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There are exceptions. You can't tell from a photo though. I'm aware I look somewhat homosexual, I have a boyish face and that makes me look feminine. Coupled with my posh accent and occasional spontaneous campness it's led quite a few to believe I was gay.

I do have quite a masculine demeanor though. It's just introverted.
 
88chaz88 said:
There are exceptions. You can't tell from a photo though. I'm aware I look somewhat homosexual, I have a boyish face and that makes me look feminine. Coupled with my posh accent and occasional spontaneous campness it's led quite a few to believe I was gay.

I do have quite a masculine demeanor though. It's just introverted.
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You would be surprised how much of that I saw in your photo :angel: (when I analysed your avatar remember :love:)

I am sure you are a real rambo on the inside Chaz :hug:
 
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88chaz88 said:
Can you tell if people are attracted to each other? If so, it's easy to spot someone who's gay.

That's pretty much all there is too it.
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I doubt the ability to tell when the attraction is sexual, until an actual sexual act is confirmed. People are attracted to books, friends, old people, children, pets too.
 
enfp can be shy said:
I doubt the ability to tell when the attraction is sexual, until an actual sexual act is confirmed. People are attracted to books, friends, old people, children, pets too.
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Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww...
 
I really don't believe in it, due to the fact that "coming out" is usually a surprise to people.

I believe that you can tell if a man is flamboyant or feminine, but those things are not necessarily the same as being homosexual. Quite a few homosexuals act this way on purpose once they begin to feel self-confident, which is why some people may think that it's obvious and they can tell.

Why do we call it being "gay," anyway? I doubt homosexuals are happier on average than other people.
 
athenian200 said:
I really don't believe in it, due to the fact that "coming out" is usually a surprise to people.
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I've known a few people who have come out in the time I've known them. Everyone acts surprised to their face (I don't know why, guess it's just rude to say "yeah I knew") but really the reaction is just one of vague confirmation.
 
Raccoon Love said:
Do you believe in a ''Gaydar''. Can you usually more or less sense a person's sexual orientation? Do you look for certain characteristics and behaviors or is this rather based on pure intuition?
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Yes. I think it's more less due to behaviors, though intuition often times play a part. I find that it's really quite easy to tell, and my 'gaydar' is mostly accurate, with both sexes. I don't think looking for characteristics can add to accuracy. There are some males with feminine features, and this goes vice versa with females.
 
I used to think I was stupid for not knowing who was and wasn't gay.

Then I realized that I really just don't care, not out of political correctness but just because I have zero interest.
 
Well, it might exist, but I definitely do no posses it.

I wouldn't even notice if someone was flirting with me unless they took off all their clothes and started spanking their behinds.
I'm sexually-retarded.
 
If you know Kinsey scale, I would guess its easy to tell a 6... vs say a 3.
I was a hag in HS too and yes its easy to spot the feminine personality traits... but years ago male gays were programmed not to show this vulnerable side..(still do sadly...) My gay friends are still in the closet

I so wish I knew if a friend of mine is a 6 or a 3...yes, it makes a difference ...to me....its just one more secret that separates us..
Nobody knows everything about everyones private life.'
I agree there are men that have personalities similar to gays...like Garrison Keillor... I know hes married but if I were a betting person I would say hes a 2 or 3....I bet he could be flipped if it werent for his Luthern upbringing ..

I have a relative thats a music teacher,boyish looking and goofy personality and yes they always assume but he is gay...just brought up to be himself and not try to play the straight game. But if you scratched the surface you would see even though hes a stag hes a 0 or 1
 
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Raccoon Love said:
Do you believe in a ''Gaydar''. Can you usually more or less sense a person's sexual orientation? Do you look for certain characteristics and behaviors or is this rather based on pure intuition?.

For the gay members here, have you personally detected other gay peers through this sensation?
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I think its possible based on watching peoples reactions. I get hit on by gay guys now and then, I can usually tell who is gay by their body language when talking to me but some have slipped through the gaydar, specifically the ones who werent attracted to me and had no reason to act nervous. Its the same way I can tell when a woman likes me or is at least nominally physically attracted to me, their demeanor changes.

If you simply mean clothes etc... well I think that some gay people live up to a strereotype on purpose many many more do not. If you met my brother for example, he would slip through your gaydar unless he wanted you to know he was gay. He is not stereotypically gay acting at all, if anything he is much like my other brother and I and he dresses well, but not flamboyantly. His BF on the other hand is super effeminate and loves to be a stereotype. I cant stand him personally, but who am I to judge.
 
I definately get impressions from other people about their sexuality. Sometimes people are just very open and obvious about it. Othertimes whatever I sense and process leads me to make assumptions based on my intuition. I do realize they are assumptions though.

I generally don't really try and guess about people's sexuality. Privacy and respect for private things is culturally based. As a member of a tribe, and being raised around tribal members, there is an emphasis on harmony which includes being respectful of what others don't say just as much as they do say. I dislike instrusive behavior so I avoid being intrusive toward others.

I only really wonder if I have an overriding selfish reason--"god, I hope he's not gay"
 
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