Have you ever had someone 'take on' your personality?

NeverAmI said:
I think I would be WAY too inclined to fuck with their mind. Not in a malicious sense, mind you.

I would start acting randomly and see how it throws them off, throw a wrench in how they behave. Subtle randomness, just enough that they think to themself, wtf?? But not enough for open question. Eventually they will see what they are doing. I doubt they even realize.
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haha :)

In my case that would be like throwing gasoline on a fire.
 
My sis went through something similar. She had this friend who started acting like her. Then she went over her house one day and found a small collection of her things in her room. Apparently this friend of hers had been taking her shit.

Ever seen 'the hand that rocks the cradle'

Its about this very thing.
:m031:
 
I've had this happen to me quite a few times. All of them regretful as what I intended to do was promote their own growth, not copy my own.

Teach a person to fish dammit you feed them for the rest of their lives that way! That is what I tell myself.
 
surreality said:
Oh, I'm pretty sure it is unconscious. Actually the person's Fe is very limited. When I was in a relationship with them for over a year they had extreme difficulty Extraverting Feeling. It was all Fi and Se. They are not actually taking on Feeling or even understanding the other person's feelings. It's all mannerisms they are copying.
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hmm a really weird way to become closer to another person :) And I understand why it might be extremely uncomfortable.

I was referring to the case when some INFJs tend to soak in other people feelings and become overwhelmed by them. But that's quite a different story as it appears.
 
Naxx said:
I've had this happen to me quite a few times. All of them regretful as what I intended to do was promote their own growth, not copy my own.
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Really? That's interesting you've had this happen too.

Naxx said:
I Teach a person to fish dammit you feed them for the rest of their lives that way! That is what I tell myself.
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That's been my MO as well, only it hasn't panned out so well. Instead it turned around and bit me in the ass and not in a good way. Extremely disheartening to say the least. But I learned my lesson from it and that is from now on no more fish teaching.
 
Teach a person to fish while allowing them to think that learning to fish was THEIR idea.

We are egotistical creatures.

:D
 
I think that those who try to take on others personalities/mannerisms might backfire on them.This is because they are not equipped with the intelligence and self-awareness as you are to handle the pressures.
 
Tamagochi said:
hmm a really weird way to become closer to another person :) And I understand why it might be extremely uncomfortable.
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It's not a way to become closer to someone.

naisiay said:
I think that those who try to take on others personalities/mannerisms might backfire on them.This is because they are not equipped with the intelligence and self-awareness as you are to handle the pressures.
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Up to a certain point, I would agree with you. But, none of us is invincible. The insidious thing about it is that I know the history of this person, and there will be times in the pattern (which I've only just recognized after removing myself from the situation) where their manouvering will backfire...they lay low and then strike again using their charms and garnering sympathy and also using what they've taken from the last person. Also, to throw a smoke screen over the whole thing they will malign and tear down the other person's reputation in the process.

InTheWomblikeCocoon said:
she may have mild BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
or not.
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It's a guy, not a girl and there is definitely a disorder going on here.

http://www.bookbrowse.com/reviews/index.cfm?book_number=1530

I have just read half of this book and it gave me chills. One of the chapters in it is like a parallel of the unraveling of my life for the past year.
 
surreality said:
From what you've said, I can tell you've dealt with what I'm talking about. I don't know about a hybrid personality. I would classify it more as a method actor personality, someone who takes on a whole new personality depending on the situation.

The parts in bold in your second paragraph are very true.

I believe this is due to the type 6 identification of their own personality through the relationships in their lives. It's like they absorb their own meaning out of the other significant person in their life. They actually search for it and need it to be able to feel secure in themselves. If they are healthy than it's ok but if they are not and had an unhealthy initial relationship, as in their parents, then shit happens over and over until they really understand themselves.

From Type 6 Parental Orientation:

So, if you've got someone like this who isn't aware of their need for a positive identification or even aware that their identification is negative because of a neglectful childhood, what you get is someone who goes from relationship to relationship strongly identifying with someone as a mentor, then destroying that by their fear and lashing out, yet taking everything that person was along with them as some sense of their own identity. It's fucked for sure.

Edit: to add that the mirror neuron stuff was pretty interesting...thanks :)
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Earlier I wrote that I had met 'different types'

One type I've met is one that doesn't change from person to person. She has a general base, a behaviour that she displays all the time. Same ways of speaking, mannerisms, words, etc. But she is often looking for things to add, things from her surroundings. Words people around her use, etc. In a way it almost seems like she's trying to learn. Like how a child imitates to learn.
If you stick out, she will most likely go to you as a source. I was a guy in a class full of girls. So...naturally it would be me haha. I also made it worse because she could see I was uncomfortable with her.
There was an interesting moment in class when someone was talking to her and she yelled, "No, I want to copy!" I wonder what that was about.

Tamagochi said:
I'm too complex for this feat to be performed on me. Good luck to those who will try :)
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I'm complex too, and even more confusing, I am a closed book. ^^ The first chameleon I met only took my likes and dislikes, my words. Of course she doesn't have the ability to think like you, etc. It's all on the surface. She'll repeat words you've said in situations that don't fit at all. It's very automatic, there is no thinking involved in words and actions to use, etc. You can never have a deep conversation with her because it would require thinking and creating paragraphs/connections. She is just good at small talk. Anyone can be a source for a chameleon.
I have noticed quite a lot this girl has a very hard time with concentration. She's always moving around in her desk during a lecture. And she's always looking for something to excite her (either in a good way or a bad way/something to get upset about etc.). I came across the term narcissistic personality disorder when I was researching sociopathy one time --I think it could describe this girl.

surreality said:
It doesn't scare me so much as concern me. With this particular person it's more maturity level. They're not a kid anymore.
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The oldest one I've met was 25. But the maturity level is definitely very low. She's a typical pre-teen/teenager in an adult's body. Whines a lot, thinks doing bad things are fun, thinks swearing is cool, etc.

Another type I've met has a somewhat personality of his own, he has his own likes and dislikes but they are a bit wishy-washy, which could be caused by age. He changes according to the person he is with. He is very protective of himself, so he gets suspicious if you ask him about himself. He will often answer your questions as if he is you. If you like bananas and ask him what his favourite fruit is, he'll say banana. I never ask this person anymore about himself. He is so crazy! (and dangerous.)

Several of you wrote you try to make the person feel comfortable with themselves, try to show them you accept them as they truly are. The problem is that these people don't actually have a personality (or one that hasn't formed yet, for some of them). So if you try to ask a person what he likes, he actually cannot answer because he doesn't know. He just copies! My nephew is a good example. I have done this a lot with him, and he just asks me, "I don't know! What do you like?"
With the girl I met, it had nothing to do with getting people to like her. And with the boy, he uses it as a way to talk to someone and also a way to keep himself, his own interests hidden.

In a way I feel like we should expose these people, to do it with a lot of people including one they look up to/are friends with. Get everything out in the open. Having their friend there wil maybe lessen the humiliation. These people's memories work normally, so they will always remember the event and eventually they will grow up, wake up and either stop lying to themselves or seek treatment.
It's such an interesting topic..but I'd rather study them behind glass ^^;
 
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surreality said:
Up to a certain point, I would agree with you. But, none of us is invincible. The insidious thing about it is that I know the history of this person, and there will be times in the pattern (which I've only just recognized after removing myself from the situation) where their manouvering will backfire...they lay low and then strike again using their charms and garnering sympathy and also using what they've taken from the last person. Also, to throw a smoke screen over the whole thing they will malign and tear down the other person's reputation in the process.
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This is what made me suspicious they had sociopath tendencies. They are habitual liars and incredibly charismatic! That's why they are dangerous. It was an eye opener for me when I read a lot of people here (INFJs) can see through people, their actions-- and it then became no surprise to me that everybody in my class fell for the girl's behaviour. I had no one to support me. She won that battle.

Or I guess it's not so much they are good liars --what makes them more dangerous is that people believe things too easily and don't think enough on their own. They really eat up their fake flattery like candy and are just starving for more.
 
surreality said:
ohhhh yeah....years ago....might go look that up again...but wasn't that about a woman who actually takes over someone's life?..trying to remember
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Its about a baby sitter who tries to become the woman is working for. It was pretty good movie that I recall.
 
gius said:
....

Or I guess it's not so much they are good liars --what makes them more dangerous is that people believe things too easily and don't think enough on their own. They really eat up their fake flattery like candy and are just starving for more.
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Actually what makes them the best liars is that they have no conscience, no guilt. Without that there are no signs to notice, even hidden ones that intuitives might pick up on.

That's what is so damn infuriating about it and that's how they have an advantage. In any other situation, I would see straight through a liar. Now, there are clues but it's not what we think they are and that's where the "something is just off here!" feeling comes from ocassionally but you can never put your finger on it. One of those signs is that when they do get emotional, there is a hollowness to it, it might be super-sized intense over the top...but there is no underlying...I don't know what you would call it....it's hollow is all I can say.

Same goes for showing empathy...completely incapable of genuine empathy is a hallmark sign. They will sometimes fake it, but you can never fake empathy...that's the tell-tale.

You have a good point with the flattery. It's true. They do use that. For me it was incredible charm at first. I hate flattery and that started to actually rub me the wrong way..constant flattery.

But, the way that most people are taken in is not directly by flattery, it's through the sympathy ploy. That's how it happened with me. Nothing like a sucker for someone down and out and needing someone who understands.

Crrrrrrap.
 
I have also seen the opposite happen, something a little different. I have seen people who have similar traits be unhealthy, accusing and telling someone they are mimicing them. When these might have been some of the very qualities that attracted you in the first place. I also see it in young siblings a lot, where the more gentle or weaker sibling will become doubtful of their self.

I think there are a lot of unhealthy NF's who do such. I have observed them so delusioned with their own uniquness and ideals, they try to squash others.
That is something I try to keep in mind because as NF's fragment they will start to do this very thing. Target those around them who are emotionally bonded to them.

Sadly, as an INFJ, I am very aware of the desire to emotionally manipulate.
I know many others who feel this slippery slope.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/s/#6WapOg/www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/emotional_manipulation.htm/
 
Hate to admit this, but i've mimicked someone's personality in the past, because i wasn't comfortable within myself. I wanted to be accepted so i sought to act or behave as someone who seemed to be confident and comfortable. It was not healthy of course. i didn't know how to be myself. i didn't have a very strong sense of self and didn't understand how to develop one. i even reflected the thoughts and ideas of others. It is annoying and uncomfortable for the person you're mimicking of course, and it can create an unhealthy dependence. the problem with mimicry is that the person who mimics sees themselves through someone else's eyes. they don't have a strong conception of themselves outside of what others think for whatever reason. They've not been able to develop a true identity outside of someone else's beliefs about who they are or should be. So, they take on varying characteristics, almost like trying on a hat, hoping one would fit and become permanent.

Not to excuse the behavior of the mimic, but it helps to understand them.
 
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Some people are social chameleons and sometimes seem to reflect a few similar traits and interests. Not necessarily because they have some sinister intentions, but because their personalities are very versatile and they find rapport with others important.

I can't say I've ever had anyone take on my personality, though. I admit uncanny similarities would be very creepy.
 
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