How do INFJs communicate?

"I believe most INFJ communication to be psychic..."

Yep, I'm with this one.
 
tine said:
I believe most INFJ communication to be psychic...
Click to expand...
define psychic??? that is such a broad term....

arbygil said:
For me, it comes down to a matter of trust. I have to trust the person I'm communicating with, or I won't give them all of me...and that includes my closest relatives. But if I trust you, fully trust you, I'm totally open and honest. I love giving feedback, and I love receiving productive feedback, but I don't have to trust someone implicitly to accept their feedback; I just have to interpret their words as valid and wise..
Click to expand...
This ^^ is really me...really. i still have a hard time being open...if I get pissed I will get very honest, but most of the time I hold most of myself back. I do love feedback too. It is extremely important that someone is honest with me, and that they have my best interest at heart/truly care.
I communicate through the avenue of trust. Once trust is broken...it is almost impossible to fix. I forgive pretty well if I can talk about it...petty things are no big deal...even lots of petty things.... :mhula:
 
I thought it was common knowledge that INFJs communicate via a hive mind consciousness. All feeling and sensation goes through the INFJ into the brood mother which lays beneath the earth's crust. The brood mother decides the appropriate action and this goes back to the INFJ who acts accordingly.
 
88chaz88 said:
I thought it was common knowledge that INFJs communicate via a hive mind consciousness. All feeling and sensation goes through the INFJ into the brood mother which lays beneath the earth's crust. The brood mother decides the appropriate action and this goes back to the INFJ who acts accordingly.
Click to expand...


+1
 
88chaz88 said:
I thought it was common knowledge that INFJs communicate via a hive mind consciousness. All feeling and sensation goes through the INFJ into the brood mother which lays beneath the earth's crust. The brood mother decides the appropriate action and this goes back to the INFJ who acts accordingly.
Click to expand...

Otherwise known as Ni.

INFJs use a super-special frequency of Ni that only they can detect.
 
Er, I've found that while excellent at communication, INFJ's can be ridiculously guarded not about what they give away, but how they say it.

A large percentage of my conversations with INFJ's tend to drop out of sync when they just don't respond to something.

Is this because they're uncomfortable? Paranoid? Still thinking?

I wonder.

Is this because I'm not trustworthy? Scary? Just plain rude?

I'd like an answer.:(
 
Melkor said:
Is this because they're uncomfortable? Paranoid? Still thinking?

I wonder.

Is this because I'm not trustworthy? Scary? Just plain rude?

I'd like an answer.:(
Click to expand...

I don't know about your circumstances, but for me a lot of times I run into issues just finding the right word. This happens especially when I am in some kind of emotional state. There's some kind of block from my brain to my mouth. It all makes sense up there but I can't express it.

So, it's sort of all those things you mentioned at once =P
 
Melkor said:
I'd like an answer.:(
Click to expand...

I've noticed the same thing, it's just general INFJ behavior it seems. Normally they're really expressive, but every so often they just shut down and it does kill the communication a bit.

It's just a little fault in the wonderful INFJ world though, and if you take the time you can start to pick up on what the silences mean.
 
I think it's like a NiFe overload. All of a sudden the brain goes too many places for my lexicon to handle.
 
Last edited:
Wyote said:
I think it's like a NiFe overload. All of a sudden the brain goes too many places for my lexicon to handle.
Click to expand...

It can mean this, it can also mean that I've said or done something wrong.

Being an SP type it could be either. I'm learning to pick up on which is which though.
 
Melkor said:
Er, I've found that while excellent at communication, INFJ's can be ridiculously guarded not about what they give away, but how they say it.

A large percentage of my conversations with INFJ's tend to drop out of sync when they just don't respond to something.

Is this because they're uncomfortable? Paranoid? Still thinking?

I wonder.

Is this because I'm not trustworthy? Scary? Just plain rude?

I'd like an answer.:(
Click to expand...

I tend to overthink everything I say. It's like I have to analyze each word and experience the feelings they evoke before it comes out of my mouth. I put alot of thought into what I say (usually) and I want to make sure people understand my message loud and clear. I don't want to be misunderstood.

And sometimes I do have to watch what I say because I don't trust people or I know they may have a negative reaction. And alot of the time I am still thinking, haha, I have a one track mind.
 
I love language barriers.
 
88chaz88 said:
it can also mean that I've said or done something wrong.
Click to expand...

Ah but you see, if you say something hurtful it would put an infj in that frame of mind to want to express many things at once. Plus it brings up many different thoughts and scenarios.
 
Wyote said:
Ah but you see, if you say something hurtful it would put an infj in that frame of mind to want to express many things at once. Plus it brings up many different thoughts and scenarios.
Click to expand...

Not in my experience, but then no-one even within types is the same.

I've been known to run my mouth off a bit or say something I didn't mean or something that was taken the wrong way. This would cause Dove to go into quiet mode, I then either completely miss it, or I recognise it and have to ask what's wrong (not a good idea if it's a people overload quiet though so I have to be careful with this). Usually in the second senario things can get sorted out pretty quickly, and we've been known to connect deepr than ever before, especially if it was just miscommunication.

The reason Dove does this is because she thinks that being mad at what I just said is going to make me mad or think less of her. Also INFJs, like INFPs hate conflict and this shutdown is a kind of social survival instinct. I do try bringing her out of this habit and I believe it's working. I do understand it though as I've been known to do the same. In fact although I do it less often, I can be worse.

I read that SPs are near opposites of the NFs, I think this is probably true, and it takes a lot to learn how to recognise certain communicative hints in each other. It's well worth the effort though.
 
Well now that I understand the context, that's what I do too. There is a difference between being in the conflict avoidence mode and the befulddled by thoughts mode.

Tricky tricky we infjs is =P
 
So, if I want to know what an INFJ is REALLY thinking, I should just be a total prick?

Well drat, here I was being my usual demure self hoping they'd eventually take pity on my admirable efforts and talk back to me.

Bleghablah.
 
Melkor said:
So, if I want to know what an INFJ is REALLY thinking, I should just be a total prick?
Click to expand...

If asking "what's up" every so often makes you a total prick, then yes.
 
My NF friends pick up on my sincerity very quickly, even though I will absolutely never verbalize it. I think this is why I tend to befriend them a lot easier. However, I seem to attract NTs far more frequently (especially INTJs) as both friends and lovers, and this baffles me. INTJ males always react with great surprise when they discover that I am an NF and INTJ females will often get put off by my non-verbal expressions of emotion, which they often seem to believe are just my way of putting on airs for feelings I don't actually have.

I am a big fan of "actions speak louder than words," as I see many others here are. I'm very well-known for remembering subtle quirks about everyone around me and tailoring my expressions of sentiment specifically to that person's personality. I once purchased a birthday gift for a female INTJ friend who had once, in passing, expressed a strong draw to a certain mythological figure. Recalling this, I sought and found a small statue, and her reaction made my month. First, awed silence, then "How did you...I didn't think you were even paying attention when..." After this, she became a lot more emotionally open.

On the other hand, I've found pretty much nothing but negative or averse reactions to open expressions of sentiments. I know that my emotions are very powerful and often overwhelming, even to other NFs, so instead of just throwing them out there, I try to focus them into a medium that (like the example above) will act as a conduit back and forth from the recipient.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top