How do other people see us?

@Morgenstern36 confident ? no I wish it were so. Experienced with conflict? sadly yes.
@dang I think that is just about the best thing I ever read on here. imho when you open up? when you are serious ? I just want to keep reading.
@Asa I think the most suave people don't ever realize it. As it's not an act, it's just them. Everyone else sees it. Some love it, some are jealous. What does "suave" even mean. For me when people just relax and be themselves.

Thanks for the encouragement. But was that a way of saying that I should attempt to be more consistently serious on this forum? I could try, but it might be futile. My playful nature needs an outlet too. And as for being cool and chill and smooth and suave and charming, someone like George Clooney is not an INFJ, that is for damn sure.
 
^^^ Yes, this, everything you just said^^^^!!!! @dang

The only difference is I was a 'guy magnet'. (I have a combination of childlike and womanly features that attracts some strange men.) I finally got so sick of it I deliberately changed my appearance to detract attention. Otherwise everything the kraken just released resonates. I've been accidentally popular at times, and I've been the person people whisper about, and I don't care either way.

Sometimes the kraken is wise, and sometimes the kraken is crazy. We were lucky on this occasion I suppose. You need to elaborate on how you changed your appearance to ward off male attention. You didn't shave your head did you? That would certainly do it.
 
Thanks for the encouragement. But was that a way of saying that I should attempt to be more consistently serious on this forum? I could try, but it might be futile. My playful nature needs an outlet too. And as for being cool and chill and smooth and suave and charming, someone like George Clooney is not an INFJ, that is for damn sure.

No not at all, not any attempt to change you in any way.

I just think, like a lot of clever and funny people, when you tune into the serious part of your nature and express that? I think even more of you and how you feel/who you really are, comes into the light, and I love seeing that. Do you like Bill Hicks ? I think he was that way. Bitingly funny and quick, sometimes a little rude and crude for people (not me) but when he slowed down ? when he showed that inner person, serious, thoughful, immensely compassionate and caring ? That was the best part of him, and his audiences were there to see that above all else, even if was only the occasional glimpse. It was the foundation of all his comedy.

"on my never ending ride, into the setting sun.."
 
No not at all, not any attempt to change you in any way.

I just think, like a lot of clever and funny people, when you tune into the serious part of your nature and express that? I think even more of you and how you feel/who you really are, comes into the light, and I love seeing that. Do you like Bill Hicks ? I think he was that way. Bitingly funny and quick, sometimes a little rude and crude for people (not me) but when he slowed down ? when he showed that inner person, serious, thoughful, immensely compassionate and caring ? That was the best part of him, and his audiences were there to see that above all else, even if was only the occasional glimpse. It was the foundation of all his comedy.

"on my never ending ride, into the setting sun.."

Good comment. What is up with all the unnecessary question marks? Are you becoming Scandinavian?
 
No not at all, not any attempt to change you in any way.

I just think, like a lot of clever and funny people, when you tune into the serious part of your nature and express that? I think even more of you and how you feel/who you really are, comes into the light, and I love seeing that. Do you like Bill Hicks ? I think he was that way. Bitingly funny and quick, sometimes a little rude and crude for people (not me) but when he slowed down ? when he showed that inner person, serious, thoughful, immensely compassionate and caring ? That was the best part of him, and his audiences were there to see that above all else, even if was only the occasional glimpse. It was the foundation of all his comedy.

"on my never ending ride, into the setting sun.."


He means stahp actin like such a Bawstonian, dude khed. Bawstonians ahh too tough. Fukkin' show yeh inner self n shit.
 
@dang the unneccesary ? what ? I never noticed. Maybe it means I have a lot of questions? or a poor grasp of punctuation and grammar. or it could be some kind of divisonary tactic, like a stage magician ? Have you ever seen the film The Illusionist with Edward Norton. See how I ended with a question and no mark. I am never going to become Scandanavian. I don't take grammar, punctuation or any kind of rules too seriously. Don't tell the other mods or admins. I'm on a final warning already, and yes it was about question marks.
 
He means stahp actin like such a Bawstonian, dude khed. Bawstonians ahh too tough. Fukkin' show yeh inner self n shit.

That's why I am here. By the way, do you happen to have a single identical twin? If I meet her, I'll have the added bonus of discovering what you look like finally. Very clever.
 
I'm pretty sure I come across the same way @Asa was saying. Which is so incredibly frustrating, because I feel like people think I lack any sort of intelligence- because the only time I talk it's a lovely string of babbling. Sometimes I don't even finish what I want to say- I simply talk quieter and quieter until what I am saying is nothing but a mumble, and people generally laugh because they think it's funny that I can't say what I want to say. I shouldn't say that; I don't think they realize that it's frustrating, they just think it's who I am. I mean it is, but it's still frustrating.

On the smiling bit though- I always thought I smiled a lot at people, until one day a lady I was seeing for some things mentioned that maybe the reason I never made friends was because I needed to smile more. I thought that was absolutely absurd, because like I said: I thought I was smiling. But here was someone that thought otherwise. I guess in reality I don;t tend to really smile a lot at all- but I do smile... it's just, other people aren't aware that me happy/smiling is not a gigantic grin, or even a smirk, or a closed-lip-smile. For me, smiling is probably the least amount of lip-turned-up you can do without it being a blank expression. So maybe that seems cold or distant- the lady seemed to think I might come across as stuck-up!

Also I don't get excited easily, and when I am excited I don't scream about it- so people tend to be all "you don't like it?" if they give me a gift or something. And I'm like "No I like it." (not like "wow this is AMAZING!!!!" I just don't react that way- and if I tried it would sound incredibly fake, believe me, I've tried).
 
Also I don't get excited easily, and when I am excited I don't scream about it- so people tend to be all "you don't like it?" if they give me a gift or something. And I'm like "No I like it." (not like "wow this is AMAZING!!!!" I just don't react that way- and if I tried it would sound incredibly fake, believe me, I've tried).

I do say, "Wow, this is AMAZING!" and it still comes out sounding underwhelmed, even though, I genuinely like and appreciate the gift. I cannot learn to sound like a bubbly extrovert about these sorts of things.
 
Went on one date with a young lady about ten years after high school. All she talked about was her ex husband when someone sat near us that knew them.

Back on subject. She told me she always thought I thought too highly of myself to have anything to do with others. Fact is the class was home room and I don't remember her at all. I was too busy talking to the sparrows out the window. The teacher acted like she didn't even hear me, so I guessed it was alright with her. Funny how I could communicate easily with the sparrows, yet found it difficult talking to people.
 
Went on one date with a young lady about ten years after high school. All she talked about was her ex husband when someone sat near us that knew them.

Back on subject. She told me she always thought I thought too highly of myself to have anything to do with others. Fact is the class was home room and I don't remember her at all. I was too busy talking to the sparrows out the window. The teacher acted like she didn't even hear me, so I guessed it was alright with her. Funny how I could communicate easily with the sparrows, yet found it difficult talking to people.
I can't help but smile at the thought of you talking to sparrows. I find that beautiful. Thank you.
 
I feel kind of cringey answering this question. Like I want to go into a whole thing about how I am misinterpreted, misunderstood etc. But really that just goes to my amazing lack of social skills, not how special/different I am as an INFJ.
 
Went on one date with a young lady about ten years after high school. All she talked about was her ex husband when someone sat near us that knew them.

Back on subject. She told me she always thought I thought too highly of myself to have anything to do with others. Fact is the class was home room and I don't remember her at all. I was too busy talking to the sparrows out the window. The teacher acted like she didn't even hear me, so I guessed it was alright with her. Funny how I could communicate easily with the sparrows, yet found it difficult talking to people.

I'm fairly sure my mother was INFJ. One time she was in the garden, and there was a bird hoping around on the ground and seemingly struggling to fly. My mother went over to it, and very gently put her finger out like a perch. Unbelievable to me, the bird hopped onto her finger. She walked back into our kitchen and held her hand up to the window to check the bird. She chatted away to it, like it was a friend. The whole thing was like something out of Mary Poppins. The bird's injury or problem must have been shortlived.

It flew off her finger and around the kitchen. She held out her finger again, and it flew back there. She opened the back door and shortly after, it flew away. I stood there, like a mute. It blew me away. I think the bird somehow sensed she was not a threat, which she wasn't. If I hadn't been there and seen it all, I'd never have believed any of it, but I promise that was exactly how it happened. Incredible to me, my mother did not seem even slightly surprised by what had gone on. Although I am an INFJ nothing like that has ever happened to me, but she was gentle in a scale way past me. INFJ women are probably different to INFJ men (insert joke here) I think. I will guess they have had similar experiences.
 
GYDAtnU
 
Being a very Ni-oriented INFJ, I often have more in common with INTPs and INTJs than other INFJs, at least in my behavior. People generally see me as socially awkward but insightful, and only my close friends and family see the more sensitive side of me. Even then I am prone to keep them at arm's length, since I often have trouble expressing my emotions properly.
 
I'm fairly sure my mother was INFJ. One time she was in the garden, and there was a bird hoping around on the ground and seemingly struggling to fly. My mother went over to it, and very gently put her finger out like a perch. Unbelievable to me, the bird hopped onto her finger. She walked back into our kitchen and held her hand up to the window to check the bird. She chatted away to it, like it was a friend. The whole thing was like something out of Mary Poppins. The bird's injury or problem must have been shortlived.

It flew off her finger and around the kitchen. She held out her finger again, and it flew back there. She opened the back door and shortly after, it flew away. I stood there, like a mute. It blew me away. I think the bird somehow sensed she was not a threat, which she wasn't. If I hadn't been there and seen it all, I'd never have believed any of it, but I promise that was exactly how it happened. Incredible to me, my mother did not seem even slightly surprised by what had gone on. Although I am an INFJ nothing like that has ever happened to me, but she was gentle in a scale way past me. INFJ women are probably different to INFJ men (insert joke here) I think. I will guess they have had similar experiences.

She sound like a kind and loving person.
 
Being a very Ni-oriented INFJ, I often have more in common with INTPs and INTJs than other INFJs, at least in my behavior. People generally see me as socially awkward but insightful, and only my close friends and family see the more sensitive side of me. Even then I am prone to keep them at arm's length, since I often have trouble expressing my emotions properly.

Ikr...the reason why i keep my thoughts to myself is:
1.) they usually misunderstand what i say
2.) they usually dont understand me
3.) theyre closed minded
4.) they might get hurt if i tell them the reality, and get mad
5.) they might get hurt if they know i know who they really are and their motives.

so why bother sharing when i already know how they'll react after. i rather keep silent than tell them a lie and rather keep quiet than waste my time and energy when they in the end i know they will misunderstand.
 
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