How does an extroverted INFJ operate?

[Billy]

The thing I have noticed about introversion Yield, is that its very much a personal thing. I still feel awkward and exposed when I am out there doing stuff, but I get more from suffering those feelings than by locking myself away like I used to.

 

[Top cat]

I always thought I was, with age and experience, getting better at being extroverted. Being less introverted. Which is a great thing and something I looked forward to. However, I have become heavily introverted as of late and my Fe is non existent. This really depresses me because it feels like I'm going backwards. All the work I have done thus far is unravelling itself.

i think i'm going backwards too
but i like it
it's what i want

i used to be a lot more impulsive, extroverted.. can be embarrassing in public at times. i make the wrong friends, etc. Becoming more introvert i feel i am gaining better control on how to live a life i want and being happier, making my own choices regardless of others

 

[Raccoon Love]

The thing I have noticed about introversion Yield, is that its very much a personal thing. I still feel awkward and exposed when I am out there doing stuff, but I get more from suffering those feelings than by locking myself away like I used to.

This exactly, defines me, sure being by yourselves can be relaxing or good for us, but there comes the time, where my feelings just can't take anymore being so alone..that's where my loneliness comes in...I think no one can be 100% introverted there's always going to be a point in our lives that we are going to need people/ friends, which I think is essential..I think this is even more common for us NF's as we apply feeling to a lot of situations..Could that explain why so many NF's score so highly on disorder/ negative mood tests? I noticed that since I have not been in the company of a single person my whole life, I tend to be more depressed, anxious of some sort of interaction..which makes me behave like an E at times..meaning whenever I actually do achive conversation I become so excited..that my voice level rises, my feelings explode...and I just keep on talking and talking.

 

[Gaze]

I always thought I was, with age and experience, getting better at being extroverted. Being less introverted. Which is a great thing and something I looked forward to. However, I have become heavily introverted as of late and my Fe is non existent. This really depresses me because it feels like I'm going backwards. All the work I have done thus far is unravelling itself.

Question, do you think that you feel more like yourself when you're more introverted or extroverted?

Introverts may develop their extrovertedness but still feel more comfortable internally as introverts. If you're unhappy being too introverted, it doesn't mean you're not introverted. It may just mean that at this time, you need time to regain a sense of normalcy (whatever that may be for you). It sounds as if being extroverted is work for you. That may be another indicator that you are more introvert than extrovert, and so you may be feeling an overload of pressure from working hard to be extroverted. Maybe, you are putting too much pressure on yourself to be one or the other.

 

[enfp can be shy]

On the surface, similar to ESTP; inside still like INFJ.

I meet very often INFJs who are in reality more extroverted than me. It's just that I'm learning how to be introverted, while they're learning how to be extroverted. I guess following the most natural state of mind would be too boring for us.

 

[Billy]

On the surface, similar to ESTP; inside still like INFJ.

I meet very often INFJs who are in reality more extroverted than me. It's just that I'm learning how to be introverted, while they're learning how to be extroverted. I guess following the most natural state of mind would be too boring for us.

Its not that I am bored with following whats natural, I just think that I have learned about as much as I can shutting myself off from the people around me. Now I need to find out who I am around other people, I got a good handle on who I am by myself.

 

[Naxx]

Here is a story

So as far as I can figure it, most INFJs go through a sort of "keep to myself" thing for msot of thier lives. In my case I was extremely private and I don't let many people into my inner world. As a result of this I had always been a really loner type, very stand offish, quiet, gentle but not a pushover. I also grew up kind of tough in some rough areas and that toughness is how you learn to survive without getting hurt. As a result of this I had very very few friends growing up. As I go into my 20s I basically cut out all of my friends and went completely isolated. Because of that I ended up relying heavily on my family for social interactions. It turns out that my family isnt exactly the best thing for me, as some of them tend to sabotage me out of jealousy or a need to control things.

So I have been rebuilding my social life the past year or so, once I broke away from my family, its like I am an entirely differnt person. My ENFP friend says I am projecting like an ENFJ or an ENTJ at times when I do things.

But its more than that I still feel very very introverted. But somehow I am able to now get over that and push myself into a situation I would have normally walked away from. Meeting new girls, or friends and making connections and putting myself out there. And I have been finding that people love me and want to be around me and it makes me feel good like I have something to offer. But still there is more to it than just that. Its like I dont just see my friend or a person anymore, I see a network of connections and opporitunities behind people. And I am not doing this intentionally somehow my mind is just picking this stuff up and storing it in my subconcious then making concious connections to it. Its like my Intuition is really working over the relationships I am building and its not being dominated so much by emotion so much as curiosity at this point. And I am planning social interactions to depths I never did before and I can make predictions on how people will react to things and its coming true. I feel like I am standing on a ladder above a crowd and I am the only person with any overview of the situation.

Is this normal for an INFJ who is trying to be outgoing and extroverted? Are there any other INFJs who have gone from extreme isolation to extreme social butterfly status quickly?

I am having all these new wierd feelings and I am trying to organize everything into some sort of system so I can manage it better but its just new to me.

I only keep to myself in the beginning, once I feel like I've established a base line for who I know and what I know about the area I become quite extroverted. The logic is that I love my friends and I'm comfortable with the environment. My friends are also comfortable in the environment, so the inner net expands greatly. Within this net I should be able to expand my horizons to the fullest.

You see the power of massive networking. Hillary Clinton knew thousands and thousands of names and faces; who they were, how they acted, and what they offered. In terms of money and power, it is relative to the amount of people you know and most importantly the quality. After all if you know a lot of people but they do not like you or care about you then it's pretty much worthless. Your judgement skills and analyzing skills are probably getting a lot better. You probably know the difference between passion, ideals, and reality.

I myself do not really know how much I network. But a lot of people know who I am and they enjoy my company. I view it was following the path of fate, I see the flow, walk and navigate through it. If I think the group of people is nice I will seek them out. If I see the opportunity to talk to someone new I will. Fate demands no cowardice from the ones who follow it's path. I am rather successful I would say and everything has some how landed on my lap when I need it. My dreams come true by themselves; of course I do offer every second of my life to fate and my goals. It's just natural for me and I reap the benefits.

I have a lot of hobbies (poker, snowboarding, video games, running, paintballing, etc). I am often so gunho and passionate about them they enjoy them even more when I am around (plus I'm usually one of the best in the group). That is actually how I broke out of my anti social behavior. I loved hobbies and other people did too, so we enjoyed them together and so we enjoyed each other.

All these personal feelings, ideas, etc in my opinion can come after bonding when it really means something.

 

[Orion]

Question, do you think that you feel more like yourself when you're more introverted or extroverted?

I feel like myself when I'm capable of helping people feel better, cheering people up, being able to talk to and feel comfortable around other people. When I feel like I care for people and when I can use what I have and who I am as a person, in order to connect with people. But I'll always wanna be alone after being with people and need to recharge and reflect. That much I know.

Introverts may develop their extrovertedness but still feel more comfortable internally as introverts. If you're unhappy being too introverted, it doesn't mean you're not introverted. It may just mean that at this time, you need time to regain a sense of normalcy (whatever that may be for you). It sounds as if being extroverted is work for you. That may be another indicator that you are more introvert than extrovert, and so you may be feeling an overload of pressure from working hard to be extroverted. Maybe, you are putting too much pressure on yourself to be one or the other.

That's the thing, I'm not working on being more extroverted. I've stopped and that is not normal. For how much I find it difficult, I have always marched on with it and gotten better, very gradually over time. But the feeling for others has gone.