how does attraction work for you?

I'm usually physically attracted to women who are in good shape and have good hygiene, So basically (this sounds awful, but) I could probably sleep with about 70% of the female population just based purely on that if that's what I was going for. However that's not really what I look for in a partner. I become incredibly attracted to women who are intelligent, or talented, or even slightly nerdy. I tend to gain really strong attractions to women who are into kind of quirky stuff, or stuff that I'm also interested in. Like recently I met a woman my age who knew a lot about swing music. For some reason that made me a lot more attracted to her than I previously was.
 
If I meet beautiful woman then odds are I'll feel sexually attracted to her but if she's vain or boring that initial attraction will simply end. I'm not interested in one night stands so a woman has to have substance if I want to pursue a relationship with her. The sexiest organ is the brain, after all.
 
I determine within minutes of interaction with them, usually. If they are cute, give off the right vibes, are on my wavelength, and seem to be appreciative of my interaction as well, I immediately have the though pop up in my head, "Holy shit, I like this guy." It's an electrifying experience, and it gives the person an immediate element of mystery of an infinite measure.
 
I told my wife, shortly after we met, that the raw, honest, no BS reaction people have to others of the opposite/preferred sex after the first 5 seconds of meeting is, "Would I f*** them?" From there, anything after that can move them into the other category.

I still stand by this.
 
For me?

Physical
Personality
Compatibility
Goals

in that order.

I know when I am attracted to someone physically instantly.
After talking a while and spending some time I can usually tell if I am attracted to their personality, at which case I will usually begin making moves (if so inclined) and if it works out I look at our personal compatibility, can we stand each other, does she Only watch the Basketball Wives of LA (a bad thing haha) and if thats all good, then I make sure we match up with what we want for a future.

If all criteria is met I can say I am severely attracted, if 1 is a go and the other 3 are not, I might just initiate a sexual relationship. Maybe not so much these days, but thats what I have done. But Usually attraction is like a set of questions. At least for me. Each one answered in the Go column adds to girlfriend-ability
 
What is pleasing to the eye is not usually the factor that draws me. There is an undeniable pull - unseen force greater than physical - best way I can describe it.

I'll feel before I see a person I am attracted to. Once the sense is there, it must be followed through.
 
Jacobi said:
If I meet beautiful woman then odds are I'll feel sexually attracted to her but if she's vain or boring that initial attraction will simply end. I'm not interested in one night stands so a woman has to have substance if I want to pursue a relationship with her. The sexiest organ is the brain, after all.
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I can relate to this. Physical attraction grabs my attention but doesn't hold it if their personality is bad. If they seem nice, I'll try to get to know them and if there's compatibility, try for a relationship. Otherwise maybe friends and see if something changes.
 
Asarya said:
In lots of ways and degrees. I love that instant attraction- so electric, magnetic, its so compelling, whether it be platonic, brotherly, sexual or of an otherwise enigmatic nature. I think that this is chemistry, or attraction, fascination between energies. Its like creative energy at its most base or primal, or alternatively, at its highest and most evolved- like spiritual energy. Sometimes we just feel drawn to people. Also, i have developed or lost attraction to people over time.
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yeah, attraction was once based on light crushes or physical attractiveness, but I'm not sure if it was so simple. There was probably always a reason for the interest even if I wasn't aware of it. Attraction is always immediate for me which actually creates more problems in the long run. I wish it took me a longer time to become attracted. In any case, it's an attraction to their energy. Sometimes, it's just easier to be around some types of people because of their vibe, etc. Of course, I've been "attracted" to people only to later realize that I misread what I was feeling. I often find that simply because I'm not conscious of the reasons for an attraction doesn't make it superficial, which is a common belief. Sometimes, what you think is a physical attraction alone, may actually be something more. Or I may mistake a physical attraction for more than it is. But one thing which never changes, is that I always feel it immediately, even if I may not know why. The problem is the assumption that it means more than it does, that there is something that should be developed in relationship form as a result, when maybe it's just a fond attraction that should be enjoyed for what it is.
 
sexual attraction can be immediate, but even when a potential partner is pushing for intimacy, i don't go for it. i've never in my life hooked up with a stranger.

at the emotional level, it works best just getting to know someone until it feels safe enough to come out of my shell and devote my energies to them which pretty much never happens.

i must admit to having an ulterior motive joining here as i think a moderate INFJ would be my ideal soul mate and so unlike all the other "irrationals" though that F remains to be a point of contention i've seen at the robots forum.

a goody goody that despises bad boys is what i get reading INFJ descriptions. y'all are so rare... even rarer than masterminds!

i REALLY got worked up though last summer volunteering in a community bike center when a monotone speaking nerdy japanese gal with glasses (that pushes almost all of my buttons at once!) followed me around for a good 20 minutes asking me questions about bikes and listening intently to my replies with interest got me so hot and bothered if she kept it up, i might even have started flirting with or something as interest in biking is VERY HOT to me. sadly, when we went back to the front desk and i sat on a bike waiting for my biking issue to be resolved, her BF pops up out of nowhere and makes a point of wiping her butt off and grabbing it some right in front of my face not more than a yard away thus depressing me for a full week. i wasn't even allowed to fantasize there. *sigh* if i didn't know better, i'd swear someone set me up for that unbearable tease. it was so perfectly tailored to my tastes.
 
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