How long would you date for?

[Rogue]

As long as it takes me to feel that I can trust this person with my life and be sure that he's the man I wanna spend the rest of it with....
When I look far in my future, I have to be able to imagine him there with me. If I can't do that, then the relationship is still going nowhere, and I'll probably have to move on.

Very true. 6 months-2yrs.
I really know all I need to know in the first six months...then I have to warm up to the idea. ...for advanced players only...

 

[Lotus Blossom]

Maybe it's just me but I think it takes 2 or 3 years to really get to see how well you work with someone.

 

[waterbaby]

My theory is: if you can't assess whether someone is suitable for you to marry with 6 months you're probably too stupid to get married.

Delaying marriage is a different matter - but if you're not intending to get married for a few years because of studies/work/etc. why date?

^^^^
I actually agree with this.

For me it depends on when the other person is ready. I enter relationships with the intention of trying to build a forever with someone, and if it doesn't seem possible, I won't bother. I do need time to open up in that respect, but how long that takes really depends on who the other person is. If I'm in a relationship, I've already made up my mind that it could work and I'm already starting it, so bringing it up is really a matter of finding the right timing for the individual relationship and the individual people involved. In relationships, I always seem to be waiting on the other person to decide what they're doing. Then again, I've only ever dated Ps. Maybe it's a type thing.

That's not to say that if the other person thought the same way, I'd be married in 6 months, though... Just that I'd already know whether or not I could marry them. I wouldn't be delaying, but building up to it.

I have found that ultimately, every relationship I've had in my life has ended for exactly the reason I thought it would in the first few months.

^^^^
This is why.

 

[waterbaby]

I might have chosen gentler wording, but my point was oriented the same way. If I still have doubts at 6 months (by then reality has very much kicked in for me), I need to leave.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

I'm astounded that people think you're "stupid" if you don't know whether you want to marry someone eventually within only 6 months. But, as I said before, my parents got married after being in a relationship for about 6 months and they hate each other now. So that certainly affects my opinion to some extent. Still, though, I think it's pretty stupid to come to such a HUGE decision so quickly. 6 months is not enough time to get to know how a person reacts to all kinds of different situations and any major changes that arise. Also, 6 months into a relationship you're probably still lovesick, and your judgment might not be 100% reliable all the time. I don't know.... 6 months just seems like a very short time span to me.

(Don't think I misunderstood, though

 

[cherriblizz]

Decisions may take longer - because of study, career, finance, personal, etc. reasons - but getting to know someone thoroughly usually takes a relatively short time.

Word. I will admit I don't know every little detail about my partner, but I do know the more important, personal things. We've very briefly talked about marriage and he doesn't want to get married until he's done with school, which I respect and support him with this decision. There's nothing wrong with more dating time before getting married but I don't believe there is a certain amount of time one should be dating before getting married.

 

[waterbaby]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Exactly.

 

[Rogue]

My theory is: if you can't assess whether someone is suitable for you to marry with 6 months you're probably too stupid to get married.

Delaying marriage is a different matter - but if you're not intending to get married for a few years because of studies/work/etc. why date?

LOL very true. People usually see things in the beginning but think they can change the person at some point. People can change little things...but the are who they are. Most show their best self in the beginning...and if their best is not REALLY compatible...ummm need I say more.

 

[Feelings]

I form strong feelings of love and attachment once I see with clarity 'who' somebody is, and if they have certain very important qualities. Once somebody matures, usually early 20's I would say, who somebody is is timeless, as my love for them would be. Such a person does not even have to reciprocate my feelings for my altruistic level of love to take effect, but I require reciprocation to accept someone as a long-term mate.

To answer OP, a few months should do it. On board with Rogue and Flavus. I prefer to have lived with someone for a couple months though, just so that I really really know for sure!

 

[Ecton]

For my wife and I it was a little less than 2 years. We went through a year of long distance relationship and decided to move back to be closer, and then it just seemed obvious.