How often have you fallen in love?

Ketsugi said:
LOVE IS AN ACTION. It is NOT a feeling. People don't realize that.
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I care to disagree, love is a state of mind, not an action, not quite sure what you are trying to say.

You act because you love, you don't love because you act. Unless I totally missed your point.
 
Sithious said:
I care to disagree, love is a state of mind, not an action, not quite sure what you are trying to say.

You act because you love, you don't love because you act. Unless I totally missed your point.
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Yes, I agree with that.
 
Love is a state of mind and an action.

What is love without sacrificing one's ego for another?
Or without giving and being honest and loyal?

I know that if I love someone, my state of mind is that I'm willing to sacrifice a lot to make sure they are cared for, I'm willing to work hard. But I'm no altruist. I expect reciprocation.

Then I do those things. I think the state of mind and actions are interdependent.

Love is certainly more than an emotion, though. Feelings fade and morph. Feelings are just fluctuating chemicals.
 
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I fall in infatuation several times a week. I fall in lust, probably three times a day. Love?... just the once. You have to give more of yourself than I'm usually willing to. I think there were times that I could've fallen in love, but I wasn't willing to be vulnerable so I turned my back on the possibilities.

I'm too picky to fall in LOVE often because the first sign of ... trouble, I pull away and don't look back. You almost have to freaking trick me or distract me to get me to settle down.
 
Bored Now said:
I fall in infatuation several times a week. I fall in lust, probably three times a day. Love?... just the once. You have to give more of yourself than I'm usually willing to. I think there were times that I could've fallen in love, but I wasn't willing to be vulnerable so I turned my back on the possibilities.

I'm too picky to fall in LOVE often because the first sign of ... trouble, I pull away and don't look back. You almost have to freaking trick me or distract me to get me to settle down.
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I never fall into infatuations. I get crushes, sure. But I'm mostly apathetic towards romantic interests until I've thoroughly analyzed them and intuited their intent and whether or not we are compatible enough to bond.

I'm definitely afraid of being vulnerable. But that's the point of love, allowing yourself to be vulnerable because you are open enough to trust the other person. That's intimacy.



Yesterday my boyfriend likened me to Spock. Which made me laugh since you said that awhile back, too.
 
Infatuation's not my thing. I either connect, or I don't. My Ti actually plays a huge role in how I view other people, especially when it comes to defining deep connections and normal friends.

I care for people. But I don't really connect enough to be infatuated with most.

Lust...is a different matter entirely. That doesn't involve much emotion.
 
See I always end up talking myself out of my infatuations before they take root. That's usually the second stage. First is like "Well, (s)he looks interesting. I'm going to move in for a closer look" Then I get a closer look and I start picking up all the stuff I don't like, then its pretty much over. Maybe they are more crushes than infatuations. They don't last longer than a week mostly.
 
Yeh just the once. But I picked problems with it all the way through anyway. i'm noticing patterns now. I look back on it with rose tinted glasses and think "that's what I'm aiming at again". But despite having an incredibly deep and intense relationship, it was the most destructive thing. Plus I nearly split up with him at several stages, hated having sex with him because I built it up into this big thing, and really, apart from teh thought in my head that I was in love with him, and hanging on for that reason, there were a million reasons why it didn't work. Now I'm in a relationship which allows me to be myself and be happy and it's very easy-going. But I don't think I would say I was in love iwth him like the last guy. So this leaves me i na conundrum. Intense and miserable? Or calm and contented. Which is better. They both seem desirable in their own way.
 
Oh, with me, it's not about what's wrong with the people...it's more about being realistic. I've learned not to trip over myself and daydream over someone that can't really care for me in return. I look for that non-threatening, slow-burning sort of interest coming from them...and after a couple months to a year of them getting to know me, I might begin to consider whether or not they could keep up with me in the future.

If they can, I could become infatuated. That's usually not the case, though.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Oh, with me, it's not about what's wrong with the people...it's more about being realistic. I've learned not to trip over myself and daydream over someone that can't really care for me in return. I look for that non-threatening, slow-burning sort of interest coming from them...and after a couple months to a year of them getting to know me, I might begin to consider whether or not they could keep up with me in the future.

If they can, I could become infatuated. That's usually not the case, though.
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I wish I had your restraint. I usually trip over myself and become infatuated anyway. And, it hurts. I'm trying my darndest to resolve this problem.
 
Love is what love means to he/she who is in love
 
Vegscara said:
Love is what love means to he/she who is in love
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Love could be subjective, if it's rooted in feeling.

People do crazy things to justify love, though. So I'm going to disagree.

i.e. "I stalked you in my car last night and broke into your house because I'm in love with you, can't you see? If I can't have you, nobody can."
Creepy.
 
alt ctrl del said:
Love could be subjective, if it's rooted in feeling.

People do crazy things to justify love, though. So I'm going to disagree.

i.e. "I stalked you in my car last night and broke into your house because I'm in love with you, can't you see? If I can't have you, nobody can."
Creepy.
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I don't think that's truly love. Infatuation? Dependance? But, I don't think its possible to purposely hurt another person from the same place that love is.
 
Bored Now said:
I fall in infatuation several times a week. I fall in lust, probably three times a day. Love?... just the once. You have to give more of yourself than I'm usually willing to. I think there were times that I could've fallen in love, but I wasn't willing to be vulnerable so I turned my back on the possibilities.

I'm too picky to fall in LOVE often because the first sign of ... trouble, I pull away and don't look back. You almost have to freaking trick me or distract me to get me to settle down.
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This is what I meant to say. I agree 100%
 
alt ctrl del said:
People do crazy things to justify love, though. So I'm going to disagree.

i.e. "I stalked you in my car last night and broke into your house because I'm in love with you, can't you see? If I can't have you, nobody can."
Creepy.
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In that case, I'd have to say that they're using "love" to justify their crazy actions and have other issues than loving someone. At that point it becomes an unhealthy obsession. (also, off-topic, isn't it funny how superheroes use love and justice to justify things the majority would consider unjust? Them, and serial killers.)
 
Detective Conan said:
In that case, I'd have to say that they're using "love" to justify their crazy actions and have other issues than loving someone. At that point it becomes an unhealthy obsession. (also, off-topic, isn't it funny how superheroes use love and justice to justify things the majority would consider unjust? Them, and serial killers.)
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And sparkly vampires :P
 
The chemicals get you going and make you "feel" you are in love, but what is left when the "love feeling" goes away? It's a decision to care about the other person forever. It is a decision that you put into action.

A lot of people leave their partners when that feeling goes away. It's the obsession with "falling in love."

In the end, it's not that feeling that matter. It's what you do for the other person and how you act.

I don't get along with my sister. I love her anyways because she is my sister. I choose to love her. I will follow that decision with integrity.
 
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Well, I'd say love is a feeling...commitment is an action
 
This notion that love made me care for a person is like blaming the devil for my sins. It is a choice we make because we find certain qualities in another person; how they think, how they BEHAVE, how they treat us, how we can relate, etc..
 
I do think the feeling is a product of the interaction and the relationship itself. It takes a little commitment to be with someone long enough to really know whether or not you truly love them.

No, I do not believe in love at first sight. It can be a desire to love, or attraction.
 
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