How You Self Sabotage?

I scored really high on all of these, with the highest being hyper vigilant at 10, followed by victim, controller and stickler, I think. Lowest score was pleaser at 4.4

Not sure what to make of this lol, guess I'm just one big screw up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
Wow, this took off fast!

I'm not an expert in the method but have been facilitated personally and been external to other people's facilitation. With that in mind, a few bits of context to help with this:

1. The horse has left the barn already on this, but with this and other assessments I generally don't recommend sharing actual scores. It shifts the focus away from development and collaboration to opportunities for our insecurities to take over as we measure our respective, errr, numbers. In a theoretical world where we weren't sharing scores, what's important with PQ in general is the highest, then the highest's interactions with the second highest, and/or if the top one or two are clustered with a bunch of others more than two at similar scores, that whole big cluster matters but it also becomes more nuanced if there are more similar things.

2. The saboteurs are part of the larger PQ/positive intelligence model. To simplify and narrow the larger context, at the core is the notion of each of us having sages and saboteurs. Sages are positive qualities that serve us well in our lives while saboteurs are the negative aspects of them. So, for example, a Stickler saboteur has a good side, namely the balanced, thoughtful, and proportionate use of discernment and discretion in doing exceptional work. But it is operating as a saboteur when it is unnecessarily picky, leads to frustration, or fuels malignant interactions with those around us. The theory is that, while awareness of our saboteurs can lead to ~20% progress in softening or overcoming them, it takes exercise - called PQ's - to impact the 80% of possible progress requires the specific daily exercises taught in the method and facilitated by a mobile app.

3. Albeit in a small sample size, I've found a strong correlation between past development work done by the user and the acuteness of their saboteurs. I've seen on 40-something person who has middling to low scores and another who has some quite high, some moderate, and a couple of low scores. However, the former person has done years of talk therapy and significant personal development work for a period of years in the past. The latter had almost no talk therapy or personal development work. Younger people whose results I've seen tend to have more high and moderate scores. The point I want to make here is that I think high scores are "normal" and not something to feel self-conscious about, particularly if you don't have a history with talk therapy and/or personal development work.


Per another thread my top two are Restless and Stickler. I'm also working on aspects of Pleaser, Controller, and Hyper-Rational.
 
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Pretty much, but it is more so with myself than anyone else. I've been told that my perfectionism comes out more so in my work or in the tasks that I do. I have an organized way of approaching the world, and it irks me to have to re-do something that could have been done correctly the first time. Mistakes that I make (no matter how small), will eat away at me for a very long time. However, I get frustrated with humanity, in general. The propensity for instantaneous gratification and the natural proclivity towards laziness in society really bothers me. I don't half-ass anything that I do, and if I think I will, then I just won't bother doing it at all. I guess that's the 'all or nothing' attitude I've mentioned before.

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Also, applicable. I've been told that I am pretentious, though I have never seen myself as 'better' or 'more deserving' than anyone else, even if I can come across that way sometimes. Just know if you've ever felt judged by me, that I use a much more critical lens to view myself, and that lens is magnified to the nth degree.

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I think this occurs more in romantic relationships, where the other person gets comfortable with the attention they get, and then they no longer give back. So, it ends up unbalanced. That is where the resentment comes in. I'm getting better at utilizing my voice in that area though. If I ever feel an imbalance, I hope to always voice it instead of succumbing to passive aggression. It helps to lower expectations from the onset, and to be realistic with what is doable within the relationship.

Anyway, all things I am aware of and working on.
 
aeon said:
How Do You Self Sabotage?

Based on Shirzad Chamine’s New York Times bestseller and Stanford lectures.

Research included 500,000 participants, world class athletes, and leaders from every Fortune 100 company.


Cheers,
Ian
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I don't really think I did this right but I am definitely a pleaser. And I do avoid uncomfortable things, lol. But I would say I'm more restless than this says I am. Just general anxiety and I am also a perfectionist to a huge degree sometimes! Especially with myself.

Edit: Upon reading the description of the restless saboteur, I think my score is on point with that because it's only in certain circumstances that I feel that way.

So overall... I completely agree with all of this! Especially pleaser and avoider and victim too a bit... matter of fact the first five in general lmao... hmm I've got a lot of work ahead of me haha. But I was already aware of my faults in this area so its not new and I've been working on them :)

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aeon said:
How Do You Self Sabotage?
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Interesting ..... sort of fits with my Enneagram, but my scores are fairly close together and lowish so I suspect it isn't differentiating other than Pleaser very strongly for me. I do sometimes swing from being very focused inwardly on intellectual stuff, to being very focused on people things. That possibly comes out in my posts here in the forum.

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Everything pertaining to the future is black and white, often too positive or too negative. I guess that's part of being ''restless''. I think the set of the first three makes me relatively chill minus the stickler bit, because some of these are more interraction based than others. Restlessness, avoidance and hyper rationality are applied less or are less apparent when interracting with others compared to being a controller, a victim or hypervigilant. I'm trying to find the silver lining here lol.
 
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