Hypothetical Advice Thread

parcel said:
How do you close the door on a future century, long before it begins, without ending the world before then?
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I’m glad you asked this question, Parcel. It’s one of the most fundamentally important questions to a hypothetical advice giving thread that will ever be asked—each hypothetical thread needs to be asked this, so I’m satisfied that is has finally come about.

What you’re talking about has a lot to do with Antoine-Francois Momoro, a French Printer. "You accuse me, who have given everything for the Revolution!"

Well, we all know those famous words. Now, had a time ripple set Antoine in the midst of the Battle of Attu, the situation you are describing would have most certainly happened. Despite Antoine’s confusion, hysteria, and wonderment in the amazing technology that had formed hundreds of years after his time, he would have unknowingly altered the course of time in which the Pacific War was lost, in turn making a future outcome of World War II to be won by the Axis powers. The world wouldn’t end due to the very precise timing of the time ripple and whom it affected; ripping some French dude into one of the most vital and horrific events of all time.

So the answer is simply: unexplained and unexpected time travel in way of time ripples that interfere with World War II at the precise moment, enough not to upset the delicate threads of time but completely destroy the future in the process.
 
Here's another:

The man on the moon has four wishes: to eat, laugh, love, and think, but you can only grant him one. How do you make his wish come true if he does not exist?
 
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parcel said:
Here's another:

The man on the moon has four wishes: to eat, laugh, love, and think, but you can only grant him one. How do you make his wish come true if he does not exist?
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Easy.

Since there is only one wish available:

You make a wish to make another genie with the unlimited wishes and minutes plan.

That other genie will be able to make him exist, and after that, will be able to grant him his wish to eat, laugh, love and think.

---

I got one.

How can I tame a Great White Shark into a family-fun pet?
 
The man on the moon has four wishes: to eat, laugh, love, and think, but you can only grant him one. How do you make his wish come true if he does not exist?

Timeless said:
Easy.

Since there is only one wish available:

You make a wish to make another genie with the unlimited wishes and minutes plan.

That other genie will be able to make him exist, and after that, will be able to grant him his wish to eat, laugh, love and think.
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There's another response to this.
 
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parcel said:
Here's another:

The man on the moon has four wishes: to eat, laugh, love, and think, but you can only grant him one. How do you make his wish come true if he does not exist?
Click to expand...
Wish that you never get any side effects from smoking pot.
 
Here is the other response:

If he (man on the moon) has a wish, then he thinks. He thinks therefore he exists. If he exists, then he can make his wish: to have all his other wishes come true.
 
I like to hike; a lot. Unfortunately over a series of years I have been unable to hike and would like to get back to it.

Here, allow me to explain.

I'm an excellent hiker. And like all good hikers, I know that it is a good idea to carry lots of water and replenishing snacks with you when you go on a long hike. My preferred choice of snacks is oreos, but recently there has been a problem with this that i cannot seem to solve. I only like to take 27 oreos; this occured ever since I took my first pack of oreos that happened to contain 27 Oreos, and I became accustomed to this specific number. Apparently, Oreos are now packaged in boxes of 30's, and I CANNOT go hiking with a box of 30 oreos! I refuse to open an oreo box until after I have begun hiking and when I see 30 oreos in there I basically want to kill myself. I have written the company that manufactures oreos several times and they have just called me crazy. My friend even tried to eat two of the oreos and stuff the box in thinking I wouldn't notice, but I did, and we are since no longer friends.

Please!

I love hiking, and I would love to get back in the routine. Does anyone have any advice that will help me? I know many of you have been in the same situation and I would just like to know what worked for you. Thanks!
 
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I'd tell him to stop sending people down there! The crocodile is obviously eating the animal control people, so he's got to figure out what the animal control people are doing wrong. Install cameras inside of the basement and then send two animal control peoples down... when they don't come back, hurry and get the tape, rewind it, and look to see for the dumbass mistake they keep doing. It's also wise to send down your annoying siblings and or neighbor who always trims on your side of the bush down there, to look at the problem and ask for their advice while you swiftly lock them in there are turn off the videotape so no one knows you purposely killed them....

EDIT: DAMNIT YOU EDITED IT.
 
Don't worry I have another problem for you: SOLVE IT, NOW!
 
slant said:
I like to hike; a lot. Unfortunately over a series of years I have been unable to hike and would like to get back to it.

Here, allow me to explain.

I'm an excellent hiker. And like all good hikers, I know that it is a good idea to carry lots of water and replenishing snacks with you when you go on a long hike. My preferred choice of snacks is oreos, but recently there has been a problem with this that i cannot seem to solve. I only like to take 27 oreos; this occured ever since I took my first pack of oreos that happened to contain 27 Oreos, and I became accustomed to this specific number. Apparently, Oreos are now packaged in boxes of 30's, and I CANNOT go hiking with a box of 30 oreos! I refuse to open an oreo box until after I have begun hiking and when I see 30 oreos in there I basically want to kill myself. I have written the company that manufactures oreos several times and they have just called me crazy. My friend even tried to eat two of the oreos and stuff the box in thinking I wouldn't notice, but I did, and we are since no longer friends.

Please!

I love hiking, and I would love to get back in the routine. Does anyone have any advice that will help me? I know many of you have been in the same situation and I would just like to know what worked for you. Thanks!
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1) Close your eyes when you open it, grab 3 of them and throw them away.
2) Open eyes.
3) ????
4) PROFIT!
 
what if you woke up one day with the strong impulse that you were in the wrong body, living the wrong life? like somehow, in your sleep, you'd traded places with someone else across the globe, and everybody in your so called life - family, coworkers, friends - seemed like they were part of someone else's life? and when they called out your name - a name you now no longer identified with - it seemed like they were calling out to someone else? would you admit you had these impressions, or would you keep them to yourself for fear of being thought insane?
 
May said:
what if you woke up one day with the strong impulse that you were in the wrong body, living the wrong life? like somehow, in your sleep, you'd traded places with someone else across the globe, and everybody in your so called life - family, coworkers, friends - seemed like they were part of someone else's life? and when they called out your name - a name you now no longer identified with - it seemed like they were calling out to someone else? would you admit you had these impressions, or would you keep them to yourself for fear of being thought insane?
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I would just enjoy my new life. If possible I would try to bring my old life into my new one somehow. << That is the advice I would give.
 
Restraint said:
How do you close the door on a future century, long before it begins, without ending the world before then?
Click to expand...

You leave the temporal behind.......


When all is said and done, why do I get the feeling someone is holding out?
 
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