I Am An Alcoholic

[Ifur]

Hehe thanks, language in school never worked for me. So unless I read literature these things happen quite often to me.
In my defense, I only know germanic language and they are euqally broken and incorrect.
Apart from maybe missing commas and other things, I don't have much of a problem with that sentence.
A forum is not chat, but quite common to entirely ignore commas and periods in online chat.

There is however an expectatons of familiarity with argumention theory, as this is "in my exprience and explained in the context of debate and argumentation theory".

 

[Infjente]

Thankfully we have science and medicine and don't need to rely on your personal experience in alternative communities.
Where thrill seekers are quite likely to try other things with social antennas well enough developed to keep everything else going on hidden.
If you were uncomfortable with marijuana and didn't liek that too much, and weren't into base jumping mainly for the adrenalin kick, you may not have seen what was really going on.
Noradrenalin pills all kinds of crazy things are going on those communities, where medical marijuana may be the only reason that they cope.
Also socialle acceptable enough that it's better to blame it on that.

I'm just saying, i know what kind of people you are talking about; and I'm from Rogaland.
I have never heard anyone from that community say it would be nice with a spliff or joint, it's more cocain, amphetamines and the like to go run stupid and dance in the forests.

What you will find that is truly going on, is a combination of exchanging perscription drugs between themselves, mixing in the right way to get a buzz. Then they go on complaining about things like weed and heorin as nobody has relly heard about norephinerin agonist and noradrenalin pharmaceutical drugs.

Problems from weed isn't common unless in places and communities where they mix weed with PCP, also known as whacky baccy -- look it up, and you find stories about best friends starting fighting and almost killing each other. The route to learning what things to say to a doctor to get really cool perscriptions is rather short.

What I'm saying here is that when you get surprised about some friends and aquaintances getting drug problems or mental health problems, and all you know about is alcohol and weed. You should be a bit more cynical and perceptive, as you may have heard about reall weird things and not been part of thrill og drug seeking behaviour extreme.

Some groups of friends, cicles and clicks you don't really want to be incldued into that close. Most of the thrill seekers that end up with problems usually havent limited thrill seeking in early teens to alcohol, and also don't tend to limit themselves to weed at University.

Yeah, okay. I just wanted to explain the "bursting your bubble"-gif.

Let's leave all this for another thread?

 

[Ren]

@Deleted member 16771 @Wyote @April @Ren @Whomever else I have victimized or negatively impacted

I don't remember any instance of this, so don't worry about that. And good luck on your path

 

[Ifur]

Yeah, okay. I just wanted to explain the "bursting your bubble"-gif.

Let's leave all this for another thread?

Sure, looking forward to discussing if alcohol -> weed -> mushrooms -> amanita muscaria -> alcohol would prevent any and all addiction problems while also catering for most needs and desires!

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Sure, looking forward to discussing if alcohol -> weed -> mushrooms -> amanita muscaria -> alcohol would prevent any and all addiction problems while also catering for most needs and desires!

Psychedelics are a no go for me. My mind is already spatial. My imagination is way too vivid.

Alcohol, took away anxiety while drinking. The anxiety was more than tripled the next day which helped facilitate more drinking. More drinking messes with your whole mind and body. It’s the only drug that affects every organ in your body.
Not only that, drunk ideas, suspicions, insecurities, doubt, mistrust, or anything monkey brain imagines, sticks in the psyche and subconscious for days or weeks. Even after being sober in between drink times.

Marijuana isn’t the solution for everyone. It can’t be the miracle snake oil we’ve all been searching for. However, for me, it’s pretty damn close.

Instead of me taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, I can smoke a bit before bed. Sleep well. Have positive self reflection. Formulate new positive plans of action for the future. No pity party, no self loathing. Mild or larger frustrations are looked at in an objective light. My mind is quiet. I can feel all my emotions and address or sit with each one. This allows me to process things in a way that is impossible without medication.

The next day, my anxiety is almost non-existent, my depression is minimum. On top of it all, my PTSD is extremely mild the next day.

That said, it can become an obsession to some, just like anything else. High consumption side effects are real. Anything can be used as an escape.

 

[Infjente]

Marijuana isn’t the solution for everyone. It can’t be the miracle snake oil we’ve all been searching for. However, for me, it’s pretty damn close.

Instead of me taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, I can smoke a bit before bed. Sleep well. Have positive self reflection. Formulate new positive plans of action for the future. No pity party, no self loathing. Mild or larger frustrations are looked at in an objective light. My mind is quiet. I can feel all my emotions and address or sit with each one. This allows me to process things in a way that is impossible without medication.

The next day, my anxiety is almost non-existent, my depression is minimum. On top of it all, my PTSD is extremely mild the next day.

Are you sure that's a good thing?

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Are you sure that's a good thing?

Absolutely sure! Drinking was a way of self medicating. Kind of a double edged sword.

Taking meds really messed me up in ways. Cognitively; sexually, and emotionally. Emotionally, there was happiness, even felt all the other emotions too, just at shallower depths. In all honesty, it was a bandaid over old childhood trauma. I felt good, so, no reason to examine or come up with real coping skills. No bueno!

The problem with alcohol is, it works. Numbs out the pain. Yet, causes a depression which in turn brings up the childhood wounds. Deep seated core wounds previously un dealt with. Even if they were, the coping skills go out the fucking window every time. Confusion and pain sets in. Just a recipe for magnificent disasters.

I get high not baked. The feeling of being high isn’t my ideal. The benefits outlast the couple hours of being high at bed time.
I fan feel all the emotions while still having my coping skills in place. Like I said. Next day, even 3 or 4 days of lasting effects. Almost no anxiety, depression, or PTSD.

Admittedly, depending if I smoke Sativa or Indica, I feel each emotion intensely. Yet the same time it’s positive. My mind is calm. I can sit with the feeling and explore it. Find out exactly where it’s coming from. Maybe even read about it. Then objectively and kindly, I learn coping skills.

Where as drunk; the same emotion comes. I blame someone else for causing that emotion. Something they said or did. Even though their intentions weren’t bad nor their actions bad. It’s monkey brain perception.

 

[Infjente]

Absolutely sure! Drinking was a way of self medicating. Kind of a double edged sword.

Taking meds really messed me up in ways. Cognitively; sexually, and emotionally. Emotionally, there was happiness, even felt all the other emotions too, just at shallower depths. In all honesty, it was a bandaid over old childhood trauma. I felt good, so, no reason to examine or come up with real coping skills. No bueno!

The problem with alcohol is, it works. Numbs out the pain. Yet, causes a depression which in turn brings up the childhood wounds. Deep seated core wounds previously un dealt with. Even if they were, the coping skills go out the fucking window every time. Confusion and pain sets in. Just a recipe for magnificent disasters.

I get high not baked. The feeling of being high isn’t my ideal. The benefits outlast the couple hours of being high at bed time.
I fan feel all the emotions while still having my coping skills in place. Like I said. Next day, even 3 or 4 days of lasting effects. Almost no anxiety, depression, or PTSD.

Admittedly, depending if I smoke Sativa or Indica, I feel each emotion intensely. Yet the same time it’s positive. My mind is calm. I can sit with the feeling and explore it. Find out exactly where it’s coming from. Maybe even read about it. Then objectively and kindly, I learn coping skills.

Where as drunk; the same emotion comes. I blame someone else for causing that emotion. Something they said or did. Even though their intentions weren’t bad nor their actions bad. It’s monkey brain perception.

Interesting, thanks! How often do you use before bed time? How long do you go without using, when/if you're "off" it?

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Interesting, thanks! How often do you use before bed time? How long do you go without using, when/if you're "off" it?

It depends really. When I need the few days of solitude, I’ll smoke almost all day the first day. That is if there are absolutely no other obligations like work or something like that. Those days, sometimes none at all after that. At most about an hour or so before bed time.

The other days. No smoke all day. I may or may not smoke before bed. It depends on where my anxiety or depression levels are.

The thing is. Being high is not a very enjoyable thing to me. It’s not horrible. The effects are worth it for me.

Oh! It definitely curbs any desire to drink. It’s not appealing to me. Especially since alcohol was just another way to self medicate. The lasting effects just made things worse.

 

[Infjente]

It depends really. When I need the few days of solitude, I’ll smoke almost all day the first day. That is if there are absolutely no other obligations like work or something like that. Those days, sometimes none at all after that. At most about an hour or so before bed time.

The other days. No smoke all day. I may or may not smoke before bed. It depends on where my anxiety or depression levels are.

The thing is. Being high is not a very enjoyable thing to me. It’s not horrible. The effects are worth it for me.

Oh! It definitely curbs any desire to drink. It’s not appealing to me. Especially since alcohol was just another way to self medicate. The lasting effects just made things worse.

Okay, so you don't go very long periods without smoking? Have you stayed off for more than two months? What happens then? Yeah, that enjoyable feeling wears off after a good while, right?

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Okay, so you don't go very long periods without smoking? Have you stayed off for more than two months? What happens then? Yeah, that enjoyable feeling wears off after a good while, right?

Actually, I haven’t smoked in 4 years until this past week.

During those 4 years I would drink off and on. Maybe drink frequently for a month. Stay sober for a couple months. At that time I didn’t have any serious relationships. I was also isolated from close friends and my kids being half a state away and basically stranded for all intents and purposes.

About 3 years ago is when I finally got on meds. 60mg of Cymbalta, 200mg of Topomax, and also 50micrograms of Synthroid. I have hypothyroid too. It caused me to forget things. As an example. I would tell a story. Five minutes later have no recollection of telling the story. Then I’d repeat the whole thing like it was the first time. I would also forget entire days at a time up to 2 or 3 days.
Not only that. I would forget to eat for 3 or 4 days in a row. My then gf had to remind me to eat. Consequently, I lost 50lbs in 90 days.

My medical marijuana card just got here last Friday. It’s a novelty right now. Not only that, I’m experimenting with wider available strands to find out which one agrees with me the most.

The previous times 4 years ago. I smoked about twice a week occasionally more. Always right before bed. The results today are much the same.

Even if, it takes a few times a week, it’s worth it. There have never been side effects that were negative in any way. Which is odd because I am an obvious addict. You would think marijuana would become a type of addiction because my brain is wired that way. Though, it’s the medicated affect alcohol has at the moment which kept me returning.

 

[Infjente]

Actually, I haven’t smoked in 4 years until this past week.

During those 4 years I would drink off and on. Maybe drink frequently for a month. Stay sober for a couple months. At that time I didn’t have any serious relationships. I was also isolated from close friends and my kids being half a state away and basically stranded for all intents and purposes.

About 3 years ago is when I finally got on meds. 60mg of Cymbalta, 200mg of Topomax, and also 50micrograms of Synthroid. I have hypothyroid too. It caused me to forget things. As an example. I would tell a story. Five minutes later have no recollection of telling the story. Then I’d repeat the whole thing like it was the first time. I would also forget entire days at a time up to 2 or 3 days.
Not only that. I would forget to eat for 3 or 4 days in a row. My then gf had to remind me to eat. Consequently, I lost 50lbs in 90 days.

My medical marijuana card just got here last Friday. It’s a novelty right now. Not only that, I’m experimenting with wider available strands to find out which one agrees with me the most.

The previous times 4 years ago. I smoked about twice a week occasionally more. Always right before bed. The results today are much the same.

Even if, it takes a few times a week, it’s worth it. There have never been side effects that were negative in any way. Which is odd because I am an obvious addict. You would think marijuana would become a type of addiction because my brain is wired that way. Though, it’s the medicated affect alcohol has at the moment which kept me returning.

Ah, I see.

Losing that much weight when you have hypothyroidism is saying a lot about the degree of your memory problems. Are you okay now as you're on medication? Are the others SSRI's and for migraines?

Okay. I'm sorry about all the questions, but I think this is very interesting!

This is how I see it, and the reason I don't believe in marijuana as treatment. Let me know if you think there's something to it or just bongus alright?

We find that more or less the same "laws" apply for our physical bodies and or psyche, when we look at the process of healing, right?

Let's say you've got sinusitis. It's very unpleasant and it takes time to get well. If you take antiinflammatory pills, the pain and discomfort goes away. But the pain/discomfort is caused by your own immune system, meaning while you're feeling better you're actually getting worse. So we try to use as little medication as possible, and let our body fix what it can fix on its own. If you have a high fever or sepsis, of course you'll have the symptoms treated as they can be deadly, but as a fire extinguisher.

If you are depressed, anxious or emotionally flat/numb, that's like an inflammation. Medication can give symptom relief, but it's not recommended unless it's absolutely necessary. You'll have to weigh pro's and con's (which is very hard to do rationally when in pain). If you for instance have serious panic attacks or suicidal thoughts, then medication is a good option (fire extinguisher).

In many cases we're in most pain/discomfort when our physical/psychological immune system is working the most. If you go to therapy, and you always leave your sessions bouncing of joy and relief, it's probably just good for you there and then. If you leave exhausted and confused, it might be a good sign that real change is happening.

This is what I find very suspicious about weed or other substances (or therapy) that has instant effect, but the use has to be maintained for the effect to not go away (tends to worsen the underlying cause). Weed is also fat-soluble, and will stay in the body for a long time. It's in the psychedelic family and It's very hard to detect the negative side effects before they got a good grip on you too (if you ever detect them). So please go light and be careful.

As you probably can tell, I have very much respect for this drug, and I feel it's waaay too often glorified and the negative effects minimized. So I feel like I have to have said something if you know what I mean.

I'm also trying to understand if marijuana is a fire extinguisher for you, or if you're using it prophylactic or as a cure/for a period?

 

[dragulagu]

I am starting this tread because I am an alcoholic and suffer with this addiction. I have been living in this shadow and hurting a lot of people because of it. I have become distasteful and unpalatable to those around me and myself. I know I have set out a lot of confusion as to who I am. I am not the shadow of alcoholism and I deserve better for myself and the good people of this forum don't deserve the things I have said. I am in the process of uplifting my self and I hit rock bottom this morning. No one has to believe me alcohol will turn you into a liar. I now realize I chose this medium because I am seeking help and I have now found it through my personal support network. You all deserve an apology for my actions. I no longer want to push people away due to my own self worth issues, much love.

Another Note: I think it might be a great idea to open up something for addiction on this forum.

@Deleted member 16771 @Wyote @April @Ren @Whomever else I have victimized or negatively impacted

View attachment 54902

Good, @A Guy , while I have not been an alcoholic, I've been damn close in my 20's of becoming one. So I can relate to this. I quit the whole drinking ordeal when my doctor said my liver cells were starting to die, that was a big no for me. I quit it all together for a couple months and strongly reduced the amount of drinks I took after.

I still have these moments where I have too many cropped up emotions in me, grab a bottle of wine, some beers or something else and just spend the evening doing whatever. Luckily far in between but they are still there. I also had some stupid moments on this forum (and my apologies for that as well).

Anyway, let me give you the objective/personal rundown on this topic, hopefully it will help you as well:

With any substance, alcohol/drugs/tobacco... it is the amount of usage that pushes you to abuse. Your body has a habit of adapting to the intake of a substance over a long term, thus giving you a higher threshold to that substance and giving you the "great superpower" of taking in a lot more than the average individual of that substance. In turn this will exponentially increase the damage on yourself as your body still will have to process the total amount of substance to it.

For alcohol this is especially deceptive as your body has 2 ways of metabolising it, one being slower and the other being more efficient but much more damaging and which only activates when you drink enough alcohol chronically (I've put a link on the bottom about it).

1. Alcohol does not turn you into a liar and it does not force you to tell the truth either, that's bs. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. So, what it does is lowering the bar of your consciousness that limits yourself to performing actions or saying things. You'll blab out things easier because you do not give the process of going through the thought/feeling first before stating it. That's where these impressions come from.
2. Very important: Alcohol is a depressant. While it gives you that temporary boost of relief, in the long run you will feel much worse.
3. Now on the complete list of why alcohol just sucks:
- Alcohol is a poison, even if you take a bit a day/week (as "research recommends it"), your liver still has to break down the alcohol which in its turn damages the cells in your liver, your body compensates for it with other organs, but will in turn also be damaged by this overcompensation. In the long run that damage can accumulate in a lot of problems. You only have one body, treat it as such.
- Alcohol screws up your metabolism and physique; beer belly? yep, that's a certainty, massive amounts of worthless calories? yep, here they are. You'll gain weight and worsen your overall physique. And you will start to feel worse because of it. It also takes a lot more effort to lose the belly/fat than gaining it. So it's just not worth it. They are worthless calories.
- Alcohol screws up your relationships long term. It's all cool and all when you're in your teens/20's partying out and drinking but everyone starts to settle. It's not cool anymore when you get drunk in between parties or when going out, it just gets embarrassing. Neither does it give a proper impression overall. Hearing those drunk stories, as crazy/fun as they are, just become fucking embarrassing. And last but certainly not least, your close relationships suffer very much through it. And that is absolutely not worth it.
- Alcohol screws up your wallet. You'll be surprised how much it chews away from total budget. You are literally drinking your cash away.
- Alcohol will lose you time. You'll lose time while drinking, you'll lose time the day after recovering. It's time wasted.

So that aside, let me give you some clear tips:

1. The first, best and easiest tip I can give you is: remove everything alcoholic from your house. It is the habit of grabbing the substance that allows you to fall into the spiral of alcoholism. You remove the substance from you direct vicinity, you remove the first step of becoming addicted to it as you will have to push yourself to go out and buy the substance. When you do; stop yourself from buying a bottle of alcohol because you feel like it. If you do it anyway, just grab a small one.

2. When going out, always drink water in between drinks. As stupid as it sounds, it limits the amount of drinks you take in and you'll stay hydrated. Drink at the same pace as your friends / the people you go out with.

3. And finally, alcohol does not solve any of your problems, this is very important. This is with any addictive substance essentially does. It gives you temporary relief and a push away from the issues you are facing. The issues however do not disappear. So focus on fixing them. That way you'll relief yourself of the stress that causes you to grab the bottle.

If you do have stress times in your life, as anyone does, try to resolve them in a healthy way. That's where a bit of the MBTI mumbo jumbo comes in mind; INxJ's have Se as their stress relief point. This means you do something physical/practical to relief yourself from it, getting your mind focused into this. Find something you like doing personally and use that as stress relief, there's also a great thread here about using Se
https://www.infjs.com/threads/what-are-your-favorite-healthy-ways-to-engage-se.36379/. Anyway, substance abuse is the worst kind of Se use.

Also opening up about it as you did in this thread is a good step up. I applaud you for that man (and anyone else doing it here).

Some further info:

I recommend watching this movie on how the industry runs on it to give a bit of a reality check on how deceptive everything is on alcohol/tobacco/food: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427944/

Some links:
https://www.alcohol.org/effects/inhibitions/
https://www.healthline.com/health/alcohol/effects-on-body#1
https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa72/aa72.htm

(sorry for dropping this wall of text in between the discussion, people)

 

[bcrwz]

Good, @A Guy , while I have not been an alcoholic, I've been damn close in my 20's of becoming one. So I can relate to this. I quit the whole drinking ordeal when my doctor said my liver cells were starting to die, that was a big no for me. I quit it all together for a couple months and strongly reduced the amount of drinks I took after.

I still have these moments where I have too many cropped up emotions in me, grab a bottle of wine, some beers or something else and just spend the evening doing whatever. Luckily far in between but they are still there. I also had some stupid moments on this forum (and my apologies for that as well).

Anyway, let me give you the objective/personal rundown on this topic, hopefully it will help you as well:

With any substance, alcohol/drugs/tobacco... it is the amount of usage that pushes you to abuse. Your body has a habit of adapting to the intake of a substance over a long term, thus giving you a higher threshold to that substance and giving you the "great superpower" of taking in a lot more than the average individual of that substance. In turn this will exponentially increase the damage on yourself as your body still will have to process the total amount of substance to it.

For alcohol this is especially deceptive as your body has 2 ways of metabolising it, one being slower and the other being more efficient but much more damaging and which only activates when you drink enough alcohol chronically (I've put a link on the bottom about it).

1. Alcohol does not turn you into a liar and it does not force you to tell the truth either, that's bs. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. So, what it does is lowering the bar of your consciousness that limits yourself to performing actions or saying things. You'll blab out things easier because you do not give the process of going through the thought/feeling first before stating it. That's where these impressions come from.
2. Very important: Alcohol is a depressant. While it gives you that temporary boost of relief, in the long run you will feel much worse.
3. Now on the complete list of why alcohol just sucks:
- Alcohol is a poison, even if you take a bit a day/week (as "research recommends it"), your liver still has to break down the alcohol which in its turn damages the cells in your liver, your body compensates for it with other organs, but will in turn also be damaged by this overcompensation. In the long run that damage can accumulate in a lot of problems. You only have one body, treat it as such.
- Alcohol screws up your metabolism and physique; beer belly? yep, that's a certainty, massive amounts of worthless calories? yep, here they are. You'll gain weight and worsen your overall physique. And you will start to feel worse because of it. It also takes a lot more effort to lose the belly/fat than gaining it. So it's just not worth it. They are worthless calories.
- Alcohol screws up your relationships long term. It's all cool and all when you're in your teens/20's partying out and drinking but everyone starts to settle. It's not cool anymore when you get drunk in between parties or when going out, it just gets embarrassing. Neither does it give a proper impression overall. Hearing those drunk stories, as crazy/fun as they are, just become fucking embarrassing. And last but certainly not least, your close relationships suffer very much through it. And that is absolutely not worth it.
- Alcohol screws up your wallet. You'll be surprised how much it chews away from total budget. You are literally drinking your cash away.
- Alcohol will lose you time. You'll lose time while drinking, you'll lose time the day after recovering. It's time wasted.

So that aside, let me give you some clear tips:

1. The first, best and easiest tip I can give you is: remove everything alcoholic from your house. It is the habit of grabbing the substance that allows you to fall into the spiral of alcoholism. You remove the substance from you direct vicinity, you remove the first step of becoming addicted to it as you will have to push yourself to go out and buy the substance. When you do; stop yourself from buying a bottle of alcohol because you feel like it. If you do it anyway, just grab a small one.

2. When going out, always drink water in between drinks. As stupid as it sounds, it limits the amount of drinks you take in and you'll stay hydrated. Drink at the same pace as your friends / the people you go out with.

3. And finally, alcohol does not solve any of your problems, this is very important. This is with any addictive substance essentially does. It gives you temporary relief and a push away from the issues you are facing. The issues however do not disappear. So focus on fixing them. That way you'll relief yourself of the stress that causes you to grab the bottle.

If you do have stress times in your life, as anyone does, try to resolve them in a healthy way. That's where a bit of the MBTI mumbo jumbo comes in mind; INxJ's have Se as their stress relief point. This means you do something physical/practical to relief yourself from it, getting your mind focused into this. Find something you like doing personally and use that as stress relief, there's also a great thread here about using Se
https://www.infjs.com/threads/what-are-your-favorite-healthy-ways-to-engage-se.36379/. Anyway, substance abuse is the worst kind of Se use.

Also opening up about it as you did in this thread is a good step up. I applaud you for that man (and anyone else doing it here).

Some further info:

I recommend watching this movie on how the industry runs on it to give a bit of a reality check on how deceptive everything is on alcohol/tobacco/food: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427944/

Some links:
https://www.alcohol.org/effects/inhibitions/
https://www.healthline.com/health/alcohol/effects-on-body#1
https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa72/aa72.htm

(sorry for dropping this wall of text in between the discussion, people)

Thank you this is very helpful. I use to drink a lot more then it became weekends, a reward mechanism. You are bang on about exercise etc being a major stress relief for Se. I quit on Saturday recovered and on Sunday went for a long hike interacting with people in a healthy way. I'm a high functioning alcoholic but it's not right and needs to be removed from my life. The amount I was consuming on a given night was equivalent to about 10 Pints which is way too much. The problem is I would crack one beer and it would instantly trigger me to find and consume more. I personally never kept alcohol in my place but the odd time I did it wouldn't last long. I admitted this problem here as a way of also admitting it to myself. I want to spare everyone the collateral damage, I have/may cause. I am making a very conscious effort to do the right thing.

 

[dragulagu]

Thank you this is very helpful. I use to drink a lot more then it became weekends, a reward mechanism. You are bang on about exercise etc being a major stress relief for Se. I quit on Saturday recovered and on Sunday went for a long hike interacting with people in a healthy way. I'm a high functioning alcoholic but it's not right and needs to be removed from my life. The amount I was consuming on a given night was equivalent to about 10 Pints which is way too much. The problem is I would crack one beer and it would instantly trigger me to find and consume more. I personally never kept alcohol in my place but the odd time I did it wouldn't last long. I admitted this problem here as a way of also admitting it to myself. I want to spare everyone the collateral damage, I have/may cause. I am making a very conscious effort to do the right thing.

No problem man, just keep in the back of your head that alcohol is pretty much a useless substance on its own and that there are enough other ways to enjoy life or handle stress than grabbing the flask. What I tend to do on Friday is grab something nice to eat, have a drink with it on the side and just have a relaxing Friday night. That's good enough as a reward; Saturday's time is worth more than the buzz you'd get on Friday.

And as you are an INTJ yourself, I'll give you a tip as an INTJ as well -> focus on your long term projects/life-goals that you wish to accomplish and work towards them on your pace. Take the problems/issues in your life as well and focus on a strategy on solving them one by one.
INTJ's thrive at their best when they are progressing forward in life and when everything follows a certain path they have already planned in their minds. You'll lose stress that way naturally, I can assure you.

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Ah, I see.

Losing that much weight when you have hypothyroidism is saying a lot about the degree of your memory problems. Are you okay now as you're on medication? Are the others SSRI's and for migraines?

I’m not on any pharmaceutical meds.
When I was, I felt great. The other symptoms weren’t worth it.
No clue about migraine meds. Mine are ocular for most the duration and pain for a short time before the end. Never looked for a solution.

In many cases we're in most pain/discomfort when our physical/psychological immune system is working the most. If you go to therapy, and you always leave your sessions bouncing of joy and relief, it's probably just good for you there and then. If you leave exhausted and confused, it might be a good sign that real change is happening.

This is what I find very suspicious about weed or other substances (or therapy) that has instant effect, but the use has to be maintained for the effect to not go away (tends to worsen the underlying cause). Weed is also fat-soluble, and will stay in the body for a long time. It's in the psychedelic family and It's very hard to detect the negative side effects before they got a good grip on you too (if you ever detect them). So please go light and be careful.

This was the same problem on ssri. I felt good. No reason to work on the underlying issue. Yes, chemical imbalance is the cause of depression. Other coping skills to deep seated childhood wounds.

I find with marijuana, I am fully aware of each emotion. The one screaming loudest gets the attention. I sit with it, talk with it, recognize it’s presence. The same time exploring where this feeling is originating. That allows me to be mindful. Recognizing situations and intentions for what they are. If a feeling comes up, hopefully that’s one I sat with accepted, recognized, and learned from.

That’s when the communication process can open. Okay, action X caused me to feel Y. Is this feeling of Y caused by this perceived problem or did it originate in the past? This situation may seem the same. Let’s ask them and we can communicate how X seems to make me feel Y. Let them know why that incident may have been similar.

I'm also trying to understand if marijuana is a fire extinguisher for you, or if you're using it prophylactic or as a cure/for a period?

I’m using because it has long term good affects on my depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

One point, it may not need to be long term use. Hypothyroidism has been known to be a cause of depression and anxiety. Though anxiety isn’t a chemical disorder like depression is.

In the mean time. I am searching for a physician. Just my insurance makes it a pain in the dick.

 

[mintoots]

I have no objections with marijuana I am speaking from personal experience. I am overly analytical and deeply self reflective sober, this doesn't give me high levels of anxiety. However when I smoke marijuana I become self hating and paranoid. The substance that gives me clarity and balance is mushrooms. I do believe all substances can be medicinal including alcohol however the problem is not the substance it's the impulse or trigger. If you can identify the reasons for the impulse ie I believe it to be loneliness and boredom in my situation. The remedy is generally the healthy alternative. I went for a long hike into the hills and interacted with sober people I found myself fulfilling that need. I chose a truthful path instead of a short cut the ladder lies in the shadow realm. This is my experience I don't coin myself forever a term "alcoholic" however in identifying the character you have become you can then work toward truth.

This worked well for me too. In hindsight, I used workaholism to avoid my depression and anxiety (or did it cause my anxiety?) As I quit it though, I went into hyposomia but at least I was facing my realities little by little. No longer being an escapist. It is accurate. Escapism is the beginning of any addiction.

Addicts generally lack the ability to forgive and love themselves.

Sad but true.

 

[Ifur]

In the leaked documents, Darroch described the Trump administration as "diplomatically clumsy and inept" and said he doubted it would become "substantially more normal."

The memo was one of several documents published by the Mail on Sunday in which Darroch apparently made highly negative statements about the government of Britain's closest ally.

So while british ambassadors are drinking heavily and screwing up everything possible.
They find the time to screw up a diplomatic relationships for the first time in more than centiry during the same time frame that the sitting president becomes the first american official to cross the border between south and north korea.

Fuck normal.

Don't worry, the press loves the birtish ambassadords and the others that love to wine and ine with foreign officals, not a problem. These alcoholics aren't the problem, Trump is!

Josh Dawsey, a reporter at The Washington Post, wrote on Twitter that "Trump’s own team likes the ambassador and regularly dines and socializes at the embassy with him."

Right, so when are the rest of the alcoholics getting shafted while Trump corsses borders and create peace in the world?

Dont be a pooper, join in on the banter and ridicule of the problems of the common man.

Added George Conway, the husband of top White House aide Kellyanne Conway and a frequent critic of Trump: "Indeed they do. They never miss parties at the British Embassy. They love the ambassador, as does everyone else (except for a certain narcissist-in-chief). Frankly, the ambassador was being kind in his assessment of the narcissist-in-chief."

Is this a dream? Are they all hopped up on tranquilizers?

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/tr...ish-ambassador-after-leaked-anti-trump-cables

It's paragraph after another more dissociated than the previous.

Justice Secretary David Gauke called the leak "disgraceful" but said Britain "should expect our ambassadors to tell the truth, as they see it."

While commander in chief of the US becomes the first person in history to cros the north korean border. And the UK is involved in Brexit and other related atrocities that defiles the senses.

Trump has not hesitated to inject himself into Britain's political fray, repeatedly criticizing Prime Minister Theresa May's Brexit negotiating strategy and praising both Brexit party leader Nigel Farage and former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson, a strong contender to become the next prime minister.

Right, and the real problem here aren't the ones frequently being wined and dined at the British embassy by this highly insightful diplomat that think Trumps is diplomatically inept given recent global developments and events?

Sure dude, tactful and diplomatic, I think you aced it.

Let's try this for size:
"I am the British Ambassador and a semi functional alcoholic that rely on state employees that love to be wined and dined and to be able to complain about their chief of staff and executive in office to do my diplomacy. While ignoring the fact that this causes diplomatic friction between nations equivalent to complaining about the queen. How is the old hag, would you tell the difference between her and Kim Jong-un with the lights turned down low?

You're not high when this is your diplomacy, and you barely qualify as a functional alcoholic.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Ah, I see.

Losing that much weight when you have hypothyroidism is saying a lot about the degree of your memory problems. Are you okay now as you're on medication? Are the others SSRI's and for migraines?

Okay. I'm sorry about all the questions, but I think this is very interesting!

This is how I see it, and the reason I don't believe in marijuana as treatment. Let me know if you think there's something to it or just bongus alright?

We find that more or less the same "laws" apply for our physical bodies and or psyche, when we look at the process of healing, right?

Let's say you've got sinusitis. It's very unpleasant and it takes time to get well. If you take antiinflammatory pills, the pain and discomfort goes away. But the pain/discomfort is caused by your own immune system, meaning while you're feeling better you're actually getting worse. So we try to use as little medication as possible, and let our body fix what it can fix on its own. If you have a high fever or sepsis, of course you'll have the symptoms treated as they can be deadly, but as a fire extinguisher.

If you are depressed, anxious or emotionally flat/numb, that's like an inflammation. Medication can give symptom relief, but it's not recommended unless it's absolutely necessary. You'll have to weigh pro's and con's (which is very hard to do rationally when in pain). If you for instance have serious panic attacks or suicidal thoughts, then medication is a good option (fire extinguisher).

In many cases we're in most pain/discomfort when our physical/psychological immune system is working the most. If you go to therapy, and you always leave your sessions bouncing of joy and relief, it's probably just good for you there and then. If you leave exhausted and confused, it might be a good sign that real change is happening.

This is what I find very suspicious about weed or other substances (or therapy) that has instant effect, but the use has to be maintained for the effect to not go away (tends to worsen the underlying cause). Weed is also fat-soluble, and will stay in the body for a long time. It's in the psychedelic family and It's very hard to detect the negative side effects before they got a good grip on you too (if you ever detect them). So please go light and be careful.

As you probably can tell, I have very much respect for this drug, and I feel it's waaay too often glorified and the negative effects minimized. So I feel like I have to have said something if you know what I mean.

I'm also trying to understand if marijuana is a fire extinguisher for you, or if you're using it prophylactic or as a cure/for a period?

This is a great reply, and I feel the same way about treating causes as opposed to repressing symptoms, especially when if comes to depression.

 

[mintoots]

This is a great reply, and I feel the same way about treating causes as opposed to repressing symptoms, especially when if comes to depression.

The problem about causes though is that it gets so caught up in complications that it's hard to not get stuck in the loop and go back to square one, especially when it comes to psychiatry. I am having a hard time determining where to draw the line between physiological and mental health. Are these two different things or one and the same? I want to believe depression is physiological, because then if something is clinical, then meds can fix it. There's that question of whether we simply are just the chemicals in our body?