[INFJ] I don't want people to vacation in my house anymore

slant said:
I don't know if it's right or wrong, you're entitled to your feelings, but it seems a bit privileged. When you come from a family that is in extreme poverty, if there's room at your house for somebody to stay when they visit, you offer it. Many people can't afford a hotel. Many people are struggling. My current boyfriend comes from a more privileged income status and I straight up told him, if he's with me, if people need a place to stay and we have room, that's how it is going to be. Does your husband feel the same way as you or does he have no issues offering his house for others to stay in? If you are both on the same page, I see no issue. People can think what they want. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. On the other hand if your partner would offer his home and you're blocking it, that's not fair to him. I would consider compromising. It's both of your homes. But yeah, it's not inherently right or wrong. From my upbringing it definitely seems weird, but I'm not you and you're not me. We have the right to our own preferences.
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My husband's friends are professionals with no children, so they can afford a place to stay. They live in a more expensive town than ours.
 
My husband if he wishes to travel badly and see his friends I can make the compromise, but right now is not the right time when we have a small child that demands a lot of time from me, and she doesn't have her grandparents living in the area to help. It's just gonna be me taking care of the house and the baby and it's just not fair to me.



Sloe Djinn said:
Hopefully getting out more and socializing will help.

I think there has to be some kind of compromise though. Like if nobody can come over and he's a social person then there has to be some way for him to meet that need. Proposing a trip with his friend sounded like it would solve the privacy problem, so I'm wondering why the vindictiveness of leaving for a month if he were to take a trip with his friend. I understand that in fairness she should be able to vacation too, but there was a strong vibe of "If you vacation then I will punish you by leaving for a month" when it seems like an ideal way to keep the privacy and she also gets to go see her family at an equal frequency if she wants.
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sapphiresky said:
My husband's friends are professionals with no children, so they can afford a place to stay. They live in a more expensive town than ours.
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Well, if it's not a money issue then I don't really understand the issue. I guess it must be a social custom, cultural. Overall though I think it's something you'll have to get on the same page with your husband about. It isn't about either of you being right or wrong but trying to find a way to meet both of your needs and it seems neither of you are very happy about what's going on.
 
Do not listen to anyone telling you not to “cut off” people. Why not do it if you don’t enjoy or care about them? Think about yourself first.
 
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