I think I'm losing my best friend

My friend doesn't trust a single guy that gets within 5 feet of her. He knows she hates this so he hides his emotions behind a mask. He's content with that for now but it can't last I've talked to him about it he doesn't trust her. period. He doesn't trust the people who get anywhere near her without exception. and I'm not sure if anyone but me notices because of how he hides. This is my problem.
 
He probably has good reason not to trust guys that get near her.the way you have said it he has every right to be paranoid!is she close with lots of guys?all im hearing is trouble....there is usually some grounded basis for paranoia
 
Nope.

Wrong again. This is his problem. He's obviously too insecure to be in a relationship (very few teenagers are but thats another discussion). But that is his problem not yours.

Again, you hanging with his girl ISN'T helping the situation between you and him!

If he feels that she is untrustworthy then he needs to listen to his instincts and dump her to the curb because if she isn't trustworthy then there is a reason for it.

It's like having a pet jaguar. Oh yeah, it looks cool and no one is going to have one like it, but no matter how tame and docile it seems...One day you wake up and it's gnawing on your foot.

However....she is his problem. Not yours. If he chooses to not deal correctly with his problem, that is HIS problem. You hanging with his girl is your bad. Not his.
 
Shes not close with alot of guys, me and my friends are a group of some 9 people that are really close. 4guys 5 girls. my friend has said forever though he is paraniod about loseing her its like he thinks there has to be no one but him and her.
 
I don't understand his p.o.v. whats more If its what I think then I don't believe in it.

I think I'm going to talk to him directly about it. for the record he didn't trust me around her before we started hanging out.

alcyone you assume to know alot about my friends and who they are I wonder if you relate this to past experience and assume its the same thing... as for staying out of the way, are you aware of the term concrete angel?
 
Nickyrd2 said:
I don't understand his p.o.v. whats more If its what I think then I don't believe in it.

I think I'm going to talk to him directly about it. for the record he didn't trust me around her before we started hanging out.

alcyone you assume to know alot about my friends and who they are I wonder if you relate this to past experience and assume its the same thing... as for staying out of the way, are you aware of the term concrete angel?
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Past experience? Nothing directly. I let my other friends date each other and split up the group. With one excpetion (which was a great mistake) I didn't date the people I went to school with. And I refused to get involved with my co-workers when I was single in the military. Why? Because foresight is a trait not commonly associated with teenagers. I wondered what would happen when things went sour. I'd still have to look at, be around, observe the Ex. I just didn't care to deal with that kind of drama. So I stayed single or dated outside the school/workplace.

As for it being the same thing, I have some sad news for you. Nothing is unique. Nothing you are going through right now isn't being played out in high schools all across the country, hasn't happened before. And it will all happen again.

And no, I have no clue what a concrete angel is.
Unless you are referring to it's usefulness in tying someones legs to then chucking the statue overboard into a lake.
Soprano Style.
 
I am so confused here? Could you please tell me the answer you would like to hear? That way I could at least know where you are coming from. It seems like you should not give a crap what he thinks about anything. Your willing to place something between your relationship with your friend. You state that you guys have been so called bff for a very long time. So you would ditch your bff for another person no matter who he or she is? It really is a question of loyalty. What or who are you loyal too? Is it your own selfish needs and desires or is it your friends best interests? Is this girl so interesting that she is worth the cost of a bff? Or does she just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I am still confused as hell and damn glad that your not my bff. If I had to try to sort this all out I would kick you and her to the curb and cut my losses.
 
efromm said:
I am so confused here? Could you please tell me the answer you would like to hear? That way I could at least know where you are coming from. It seems like you should not give a crap what he thinks about anything. Your willing to place something between your relationship with your friend. You state that you guys have been so called bff for a very long time. So you would ditch your bff for another person no matter who he or she is? It really is a question of loyalty. What or who are you loyal too? Is it your own selfish needs and desires or is it your friends best interests? Is this girl so interesting that she is worth the cost of a bff? Or does she just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I am still confused as hell and damn glad that your not my bff. If I had to try to sort this all out I would kick you and her to the curb and cut my losses.
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I luv you efromm!

I was hoping you'd throw in this one!
 
saying nothing is unique is the same as saying everything is. The uniqueness should be simple to see as it is happing to me and my friends in a such order that has never happened before.

A concrete angel is a story about people who ignored others problems. A girl goes to school same as everyone else, sometimes with bruises on her face, the people ignore it, not there problem right? one night her neighbours hear screams but they decided not to do anything about it since they didn't hear the screams again. The next mourning she was found dead in her house.
 
efromm said:
I am so confused here? Could you please tell me the answer you would like to hear? That way I could at least know where you are coming from. It seems like you should not give a crap what he thinks about anything. Your willing to place something between your relationship with your friend. You state that you guys have been so called bff for a very long time. So you would ditch your bff for another person no matter who he or she is? It really is a question of loyalty. What or who are you loyal too? Is it your own selfish needs and desires or is it your friends best interests? Is this girl so interesting that she is worth the cost of a bff? Or does she just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I am still confused as hell and damn glad that your not my bff. If I had to try to sort this all out I would kick you and her to the curb and cut my losses.
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why is it that I say I'm friends with my friends gf and immeadealty this whole thing becomes some 7th heaven cilche where I'm a bastard Jock that ruins friendship for a girl.

My friend is overprotective of her to the point where he doesn't trust me. I don't know what to do to help him. this problem was here with him before I came along. no one has yet said anything about what he should do. Thats the whole reason I made this thread.

I want to help both of them before they split up for something as stupid as trust
 
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I mean like ever heard the term bros before hoes.

Thats his shorty you be talking to!
 
its a song about child abuse i know.martina mcbride i think.so what the problem you believe is being ignored.im sorry im getting a bit lost with where this is going.
 
alcyone said:
It's more to do with transparency.

My SO knows about all of the other male friends I have. I do not go out to hang with them casually unless I am sure that my spouse trusts them implicitly (and/or I have a few girlfriends with me). He knows I will NOT cheat on him, but he also doesn't want to be in a position whereby he may have to kick someones ass because they crossed a boundry.

There are guys who are both of our friends and he knows that there is nothing going on there. His friends are usually friends with me, but that is more acquaintance like. If I needed help, I could ask and they'd help because I was the wife of their friend.

sumone~ Yeah, when it comes to this kind of stuff I sometimes have a lot to say. And sometimes it's not so nice.

LOL....Its a bad habit, but I am of the opinion that a band aid is best removed as fast as possible instead of little bit at a time. This is one of those situations that is a band aid.
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Again I'm not getting involved.

I already struggle with friends and being pushed away its not cool and it happens sadly. Even if you both the same gender. Its lack of trust and it drive me up the wall.

I can't stand to see when having an So closes you off from all your friends and makes your SO your only to friend in many cases.

We all have best friends and other friends. And we all meet new friends people need more than just there SO.


And sense I feel really biased here I'm not going to say more.

Best of of luck to the OP. I hope things work out and you can fix things.
 
Nickyrd2 said:
why is it that I say I'm friends with my friends gf and immeadealty this whole thing becomes some 7th heaven cilche where I'm a bastard Jock that ruins friendship for a girl.
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I agree actually. It strikes me as a teeny bit controlling that he gets all huffy about his girl talking to another guy.
I want to help both of them before they split up for something as stupid as trust
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Yeah!


YEeeeeah!
 
Ok Let me try this again. Read very slowly and take a riddilin pill. If you as a "Friend" know that you are causing another friend distress either emotional or physical are you not responsible to relieve him of his distress if you are the one who is causing it? Maybe I got this all wrong and your friend is a possessive asshole. Why would you want a possessive asshole as a friend anyways?
 
alcyone said:
Because foresight is a trait not commonly associated with teenagers.
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As for it being the same thing, I have some sad news for you. Nothing is unique. Nothing you are going through right now isn't being played out in high schools all across the country, hasn't happened before. And it will all happen again.
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Seriously!
 
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