"If he really liked you..."

There's no hard and fast rule. If you move near him and he doesn't notice you at all, then he's not interested. If he does, but doesn't say or do anything, you can broadcast to him that you'd like him to approach, like making eye contact and smiling. If he doesn't respond even after that and you really like him? Then yeah, make a move and ask what he's listening to. In all cases, you have to seem approachable, which is not always easy.
 
This is how I met my husband, who is very shy. We were in adjacent workplaces and for him it was love at first sight. But he was so shy that he hid from me and I barely knew who he was. Mutual friends found out that he liked me because the guy said something a bit disrespectful about me and my husband shot him down so fast. They used to tease him a lot about it and tried many times to get him to approach me but he wouldn't. This went on for about a year and I had no idea until one of the mutual friends told me. And so it was valentines day and I was expecting a rose but I didn't get one from him, but one of the other boys bought me one 'on behalf of him' (but acting independently). And so when I didn't get a rose then I realised I would have to make the move, and I did, and we were both so happy and we have been married now for three years.
 
While I think most advice has value, it has its place. Your uncle is right but there will always be circumstances where the 'rule of thumb' doesn't play out. That's because people are more than their biology. Or at least that's what I tell myself to sleep better at night. :p
 
INFJok said:
Ok so today I got into a discussion with my uncle. We were laughing about how I told him a story about how this punk-skater kid had come from this douche-y clique of skaters, but he had a crush on me and how I said he was a punk ass for not manning up to talk to me.
Later, I was stating another scenario in which I was interested in this one guy and I would do little stuff like sit by him, stand by him. Then I said he never noticed me.
Why did I tell my uncle this? Then I mentioned how he always was listening to his iPod. "Naw naww. He wasn't interested. Lemme tell you somethin'...If a guy is 'interested', it doesnt' matter WHAT HE'S DOIN', HE'LL BREAK FROM THAT AND TRY TO TALK TO YOU."
Now in these real-life scenarios I figured these guy were 'shy'. In that case I'd understand because the skater guy would gaze at me and when I turned around he would look off. But to hear by your uncle that "you're not interesting" enough when you're an INFJ, AND YOU'RE A LONER, kinda makes ya wanna throw socializing in the garbage.

But I wanna hear opinions.
IF A GUY REALLY LIKED YOU, WOULD HE STOP WHAT HE'S DOING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?
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My beloved sister is a INFJs. She was (in highschool) ruhig, calm, dreamy and reading many many books all the time. She wasn't shy at all, but like most of the INFJs, she would be tired from social interaction. But she had a natural and feminine way of behaving, which I guess most of the girls at that age didn't had. Actually, most of the girls would be with three guys in a week, so there wasn't anything interesting in girls like that. I know it at least from my perspective.

And many MANY guys were after her. I know this because I as her brother, I was the 'middle' way all the time, taking care of her. The idiots never dare to approach her. They were intimidated by her, like really intimidated. And they would awfully come to me trying to talk about her, somehow to make the connection trough me with my sister.
There was even a ENTJ (which usually are considered more bold) guy in highschool who in a camp approached her, but before a few weeks she already knew that he liked her.

So yeah, my little sister was "the unknown princess" in highschool. Guys were secretly falling for her, and still didn't have the b***s to come to talk with her.

I know another INFJ girl (which is not my sister), and her history is kind of the same. For some reasons or another, many INFJ girl are intimidating for guys.
We'll have to consider that most of the guys have a 'type' that are intimidating for them. For many, a intelligent girl who reads and doesn't f**k at every corner with every guy.
 
djpyro21 said:
Women are the gatekeepers of sex and Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. -Rollo Tomassi

If a guy likes you he will open the gate of a relationship and if a girl like you she will open the gate of sex.

If you are a guy and not offering tempting morsels of relationship experiences you are not courting right.

If you are a girl and not offering tempting morsels of sexuality you are not courting right.


With that being said women have the power, as a women you must communicate interest first and then hope the guy bites. If he doesn't bite open the gate of sex, although in slight increments. Get his imagination flowing with your sex appeal. If you don't know how to seduce and you are a women you are shit out of luck.

The other side of the coin, as a guy. As a guy you have zero chance with a girl that hasn't expressed interest (given you permission to approach and court), but once she does its smooth sailing unless you muck it up. If you like a girl forget about it, never show attention overtly, display your value when near her and pray that your value as a mate is high enough to have her bite.


To briefly illustrate why women have the power in courting; two situations.

A guy walks up to a girl offers a relationship, gets friendzoned
A girl walks up to a guy and offers sex, gets sex

Unless a girl has interest, as a guy never open the gate of relationship.
As a girl if you have interest in a guy show it and if he doesn't respond show it better. Once you have his attention and hopefully before the one night stand you are set to start dating.
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I think the OP wants just some normal advices.
Your pro fantasy are good in a porn blog, or 'the national convention of alphas'.
 
IF A GUY REALLY LIKED YOU, WOULD HE STOP WHAT HE'S DOING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?
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I certainly do. I would stop her from activity to get her attention.
 
If you like someone, you either act or you don't. And if you do act, you either get a 'yes' or a 'no'.

Actions, people, actions!
 
Dragon said:
Well, if he is more confident he will definitely talk to you, but if not then he might just like you in secret. This is especially true for younger guys. In high school, I couldn't bring myself to talk to a girl I liked even if I wanted to.

Better question is- do you like him? Then go talk to him and get to know him. This is the 21st century, and it is socially acceptable for women to make the first move. Otherwise you might miss some opportunities.

Edit: Also, believe it or not, personality is a huge part of attraction. Guys will like you more if they get to know you (and same for women). People might not feel justified acting on physicality alone. You know what I mean? I certainly didn't.
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I work with 3rd world people. Doubt your advice will help.
 
Snowman219 said:
I work with 3rd world people. Doubt your advice will help.
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Care to explain?

For the record, my advice was tailored to 'punk skater kids' in north america per the original post. If you would like to change up the context suddenly, we can do that; however, don't be surprised if what I said under the assumption that it applies to social interactions in north america does not hold true for people living in a third world country. In most 3rd world countries, women are essentially treated like property (or otherwise as inferior to men), and in many of them, arranged marriages are the norm so the question of liking someone is absurd anyway since the parents choose.
 
LucyJr said:
My beloved sister is a INFJs. She was (in highschool) ruhig, calm, dreamy and reading many many books all the time. She wasn't shy at all, but like most of the INFJs, she would be tired from social interaction. But she had a natural and feminine way of behaving, which I guess most of the girls at that age didn't had. Actually, most of the girls would be with three guys in a week, so there wasn't anything interesting in girls like that. I know it at least from my perspective.

And many MANY guys were after her. I know this because I as her brother, I was the 'middle' way all the time, taking care of her. The idiots never dare to approach her. They were intimidated by her, like really intimidated. And they would awfully come to me trying to talk about her, somehow to make the connection trough me with my sister.
There was even a ENTJ (which usually are considered more bold) guy in highschool who in a camp approached her, but before a few weeks she already knew that he liked her.

So yeah, my little sister was "the unknown princess" in highschool. Guys were secretly falling for her, and still didn't have the b***s to come to talk with her.

I know another INFJ girl (which is not my sister), and her history is kind of the same. For some reasons or another, many INFJ girl are intimidating for guys.
We'll have to consider that most of the guys have a 'type' that are intimidating for them. For many, a intelligent girl who reads and doesn't f**k at every corner with every guy.
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I think it's the book part that scared them!
But I've had guy acquaintances come up to me and called the girls that slept around were whores, but they took a bite outta her too. What's that about?
 
INFJok said:
IF A GUY REALLY LIKED YOU, WOULD HE STOP WHAT HE'S DOING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?
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solongotgon said:
I agree with your uncle 100%.
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Framed said:
if they're not putting that much effort into getting to know you and giving you their undivided attention, then they're not seriously interested.
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Daaamn, I feel a little sad right now. (Actually, I'm drowning in robot tears, but ok).

Eventhorizon said:
As a non-shy though introverted guy, it takes me a long while to know a woman well enough to determine if I am interested in them. Sorry to be blunt but I dont mean from a physical stand point. Physical attraction is easy and I wont bother a woman most of the time if thats what I am feeling toward her alone. It takes time for me to get to know a woman before I will become interested in HER.
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I can relate in 100%. I cannot really imagine getting myself to talk to a woman when only thing I know about her is that her appearence seems aesthetically pleasant, especially when she doesn't really give any visible clues that she won't mind a random guy (me) approaching her and
Rift Zone said:
If I like what I see, I'm not going to flirt with you, sadly, I'm going to interrogate you.
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doing this.
"Casual smalltalk" is a trait that's pretty absent from INTJ's skill tree...

A girl walks up to a guy and offers sex, gets sex
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Or this. http://i.imgur.com/hcOSm.gif
 
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