If you want something very much, you do not get it (like Hilary Clinton)

The explanations I've used for my life is:

1) I was not the right person for that opportunity, and maybe could not see it at the time
2) I was the right kind of person, but it wasn't the right opportunity
3) It just wasn't the right despite being capable
4) Someone else was just better qualified?
5) Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and/or maybe something better is out there
6) Life sucks or is unfair, and stuff happens :D
 
Gist said:
The explanations I've used for my life is:

1) I was not the right person for that opportunity, and maybe could not see it at the time
2) I was the right kind of person, but it wasn't the right opportunity
3) It just wasn't the right despite being capable
4) Someone else was just better qualified?
5) Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and/or maybe something better is out there
6) Life sucks or is unfair, and stuff happens :D
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You didn't dig your claws deep enough








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Maybe it has to do with a sense of entitlement. You want something so badly, you feel entitled to it. When you mention Hillary Clinton as an example, that's what I see.
 
Seems like not wanting it too much, being good, dedicated / talented and also being lucky all come into play.
 
Wanting and getting are such a high. It feels great.

But it's good to set expectations and plan accordingly. If it doesn't happen, you gotta allow yourself to feel like shit for a bit and then take whatever action is next. Moving forward, you know.
 
Reminds me of an article I read about the happiest country in the world: Denmark. The researchers concluded that the Danish (followed by Norwegians, Swedes, and Finns) are not any happier than others; they simply have lower expectations! Given that I am dating a Scandinavian and have several friends from the region, I can confirm that this is pretty much it.
 
Yeah, I've come to a similar conclusion -- that you need to view your goal as means to another goal rather that a goal in itself. If you set some goal as your ultimate, really wished for really desired one, then this leads to set-backs : either you won't attain it, the fate will divert you somehow from achieving it, or even you attain it you'll find yourself dissatisfied and disoriented, since all this time you've only lived for that one thing that is now completed. So each major goal needs to be partly merely means for future progress, rather than that one ultimate desired thing.
 
ihavenofriends said:
neitschze believed that people could never really attain what they wanted in life and thus would always want bigger and more (thats what i think anyway)
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I totally agree, this tendency of the universe helped shaped me into a nihilistic thinker.
 
Sometimes it happens.

And then you found out that the thing you wanted is not as glorious/fulfilling/joyful as you'd like them to be :|
 
Artemisia said:
Time and time again, I have noticed that when I really, really want something, I usually do not get it. Perhaps it is just cruel fate, perhaps I just want the wrong things, but this is a pattern I have noticed in other people as well.
Case in point Hilary Clinton. She was desperate to become president all her life and in the end she did not win.
It doesn't matter why (I am not posting this to start a political debate) but I am just pointing out the obvious.
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I think when people really really want something they engage in self sabotage to make sure they don't get it
Because it's less painful/heartbreaking that way.
When they don't really want it or don't care either way, they (ironically) may become more committed and disciplined, and actually get it. Because they aren't risking as much, there is less to lose.
 
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