Indy: an INFJ or INTJ (case study)

[IndigoSensor]

You guys all bring up some info and insight. I can't reply to everything (this post would get faaaaaar too long), but I will reply to some things that stand out to me.

INTJs tend to look at Se behaviors/activities as 'impractical' (Te) or just not want to do something unpleasant (Fi). For INTJs, Te is the parental function, which manifests more in a desire to know what to do to protect people, to think their way through dangers. When INTJs combine their Te and Se, it often takes the form of being hyper alert to conditions that relate to problems and solutions, kinda like how you start telling people what is wrong and what they need to do about it (Te) once you've diagnosed them imperically by taking temperatures, etc. (Se). For INTJs, Se manifest as competitiveness, even moreso because of Fi, when it does come out. However, it's function is to support Te, which means INTJs use it to support intellectual process and concerns.

This is much more how I use Se (or their lack of). Mostly cause it is unconfortable, but because of the impracticality of it in the end. I don't really use it in the Fe way you stated, I never use Se because I feel I should. I will put my foot down with it and flat out refuse. Interestinly enough though, I will put my foot down with it much more so in a social context, and less so in other ways (unless I could get physically hurt).

Indy, I'm not sure if I'm one who should help because I also have a strong T side, but with the description you've given you very well could be a "T" with a soft side. I know sometimes you act on things without caring about a group consensus (not judging, just saying what can happen), because you want things DONE and to hell with the consequences or feelings of folks. That could be either "T" or a fed-up "F" who is relying on Ti.

...Expression of love is more important than the feeling...

Heh yeah, you mods see this much more. I can be really strict and determined after a while, and let me tell you I do supress the urge to just bring down the law. I think it might be more a fed up F. I don't think I default to Ti though, mostly because I want things to function as a whole, and I screw the details of it.

Expression of love is one of the lifelong goals that I want to master, it's exceedingly important to me, and I am trying so hard to do it right. In a way that the other can see and feel, and in a way that I truly feel.

Do you ever have friends telling you that they wish you had 'clued in' to an emotional truth earlier, and backed off an external plan? Do you stick with a plan until it is 'painfully obvious' that it contradicts your friends' needs?

I honestly don't know. In truth, I don't think I have had a friend even slightly mad at me in years (I'm not kidding). I work exceedingly hard to keep it this way too. I get very frusterated internally if an emotional truth of sorts gets in the way of an external plan, and I will try to fight it. If I begin to see though that its insurmountalble, I will back off. However I will back off in the most subtal unseeing way possible, as I don't want it to be seen as being backed off from, nor do I want anyone to speak of it. I try to put my friends needs first ahead of my own, so I don't think I could wait till its painfully obvious. Also the second one of them pipes up, I will either try to talk them away from it, or just back down.


[quote=N