[INFJ] INFJ 6w5 Differences from 4w5, 1w2, etc.

Lady Jolanda said:
So what's Tasmania like in your experience?
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Not like everywhere else, lol. Lot of tradies and tough guys here. I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood and attended an over 98% white high school. I’m half Thai...

You can see what that happens there.

Very beautiful bushlands. Hobart is the capital but it’s very small for a capital.
 
Aquila Aeternus said:
So I’ve been very confused for a long time about my type. Been constantly questioning it and thinking I could be something else but just ending up concluding that I’m INFJ. The kicker is, I look at all the INFJ stuff online and I just honestly think, ‘wtf? I’m supposed to be the same type as all these hippies?’. I just sat where I was scratching my head as to how I’m any where similar to you guys (That happen to meet that descriptor).

Turns out, I’m INFJ 6w5. I used to score INTJ quite a few times on some random tests before and yeah, I could somewhat relate to them, but looking at things as how they are instead of what I prefer, I’m doubtlessly INFJ 6w5. For a long time I didn’t wanna be, simply cause INFJ wasn’t the ‘cool’ type like INTJ, but I recognise I got some pretty cool skills from almost both sides of the coin.

For one, I’m more cerebral. I tend to pursue things that are more grounded in the facts while also striving for spiritual and virtuous fulfilment. I love order and structure (could be more of an ISTJ thing) while also liking to prepare for worst case scenarios. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s a 6w5 thing, but I can quite easily dehumanise someone just to make standing up to them much easier. I’ve learned to detach quite effectively from people’s opinions. And I’m generally more traditional than most INFJs I’ve seen on here (want a beautiful family, raise a strong son, never covet another woman, etc.).

Downsides of course are that I’m very anxious of what could happen. I tend to see everyone as a potential enemy unless I can charm them into friendship. If they do something remotely out of line, it’s incredibly difficult for me to trust them again. I’m also usually up at night worrying about the little things I neglected throughout the day.

Anyway, can any of you else share if there are obvious strengths, weaknesses, differences, etc. with the INFJ 6w5? Preferably from similarly typed INFJs.

Also, I hear Aragorn and Obi Wan Kenobi are INFJ 6w5s and they tend to stray from the norm.
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I'd say you are probably not INFJ - or if you are one then you have a history that's distorting the natural behaviours that go with it. I have two reasons for thinking this:
(i) most INFJs after joining the forum spend quite a while acclimatising and getting to know folks before becoming assertive in the way you have in your threads
(ii) your attitude to your INFP friend is not the way an INFJ would respond to the situation. A typical INFJ would describe boundary problems with that kind of friend rather than their feelings that they couldn't get their own problems recognised and acknowledged. An INFJ would probably also have a clear (though maybe not easily expressed) idea why their friend is behaving like they are. You don't seem to have much well developed Fe there.​

There's no criticism intended here and it may be that you are INFJ but with distorted functions because of your life circumstances. That has certainly been my own situation over the years - with my TI in particular displacing Ni and interfering with my Fe.

I'm not clear of your age - you come over as someone in your early 20s, just maybe late teens. If you're significantly older than that then you need to do some work to smooth the edges.

Now the Enneagram 6W5. If you look around the forum you will find several INFJ folks who relate to head type enneagrams though not many E6s. If you look at their posts, you will find they are very cerebral, as well as full of Fe - I'm E5W4 myself and can swing quite wildly between 5 and 4 lol. You might find these folks have something in common with you. E6 tends to be filled with insecurity when it's not running smoothly and you may be over-compensating for that by diving straight into the social deep end in unfamiliar situations and looking for validation from other people. Does that ring true? - if so it may well cast some light on the problems with your friend. As E5, it's not so much validation from others I need, but mainly security from the certainty of my grasp of situations, but I still need validation from other people so that's not inconsistent with your 5 wing.
 
Lady Jolanda said:
How dare you say such a sensible thing.
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I blame Maxwell ;)

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John K said:
I'd say you are probably not INFJ - or if you are one then you have a history that's distorting the natural behaviours that go with it. I have two reasons for thinking this:
(i) most INFJs after joining the forum spend quite a while acclimatising and getting to know folks before becoming assertive in the way you have in your threads
(ii) your attitude to your INFP friend is not the way an INFJ would respond to the situation. A typical INFJ would describe boundary problems with that kind of friend rather than their feelings that they couldn't get their own problems recognised and acknowledged. An INFJ would probably also have a clear (though maybe not easily expressed) idea why their friend is behaving like they are. You don't seem to have much well developed Fe there.​

There's no criticism intended here and it may be that you are INFJ but with distorted functions because of your life circumstances. That has certainly been my own situation over the years - with my TI in particular displacing Ni and interfering with my Fe.

I'm not clear of your age - you come over as someone in your early 20s, just maybe late teens. If you're significantly older than that then you need to do some work to smooth the edges.

Now the Enneagram 6W5. If you look around the forum you will find several INFJ folks who relate to head type enneagrams though not many E6s. If you look at their posts, you will find they are very cerebral, as well as full of Fe - I'm E5W4 myself and can swing quite wildly between 5 and 4 lol. You might find these folks have something in common with you. E6 tends to be filled with insecurity when it's not running smoothly and you may be over-compensating for that by diving straight into the social deep end in unfamiliar situations and looking for validation from other people. Does that ring true? - if so it may well cast some light on the problems with your friend. As E5, it's not so much validation from others I need, but mainly security from the certainty of my grasp of situations, but I still need validation from other people so that's not inconsistent with your 5 wing.
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I've wondered if I'm a messed up INFJ or a messed up ENFP. I remember quite a few times in my life where I take things very personally from criticism and HATE whenever I'm forced to do something that violates my code. Plus I get impulsive under stress and tend to change my mind every time I learn something different. INFJ seems too much of a stretch from that, lol.

Yeah, I'm 22. Had no papa growing up, overly strict mother, bullied at school, etc. Been working little by little on those rough edges. And yup, I get overly aggressive/dominant in conversation if I feel insecure or unnoticed.

Well, thank you for your insights. The whole Fe vs Fi thing kept me up last night because I was trying to decipher how I use them. Turns out, I've been using Fi my entire life, lol.

Since I've concluded I'm ENFP, my girlfriend is also ENFP. I'd love to go long term with her and have children/marriage as she would as well, but I'm unsure how sustainable it is if we don't compliment our weaknesses as much. Any advice regarding that?
 
Aquila Aeternus said:
Since I've concluded I'm ENFP, my girlfriend is also ENFP. I'd love to go long term with her and have children/marriage as she would as well, but I'm unsure how sustainable it is if we don't compliment our weaknesses as much. Any advice regarding that?
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Quite honestly, I wouldn't look too hard at your types if your relationship is working out OK. If you are hitting problems then it might be worth checking out if there are any insights to be gained, but if all's well it will only be a distraction. I think there are pros and cons for going either with someone close to your type, or contrasting. Personally, I'd be drained dry living with a socially active extrovert, and a strong sensor would do my head in - my wife is INTJ and we both have very similar social needs (or lack of them lol) - but other introverts welcome the easy social access that they gain from living with an extrovert, or the grounding that comes from a sensor's viewpoint.

There is a lot of variation within a type as well. If you look at the different flavours of INFJ here in the forum, you can see that there's plenty of scope for variety even within a single type. We have E1,2,4,5,6,9 all within the same MBTI type - ENFP spans E2,3,4,6,7,8 with the most common being E3,6,7.
 
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