Infj girlfriend

[enfp can be shy]

> she never gives me a concrete reason
xD You'll get used to that... some day.

INFJ women are very rebellious, even if they appear soft and gentle. A TJ man who tries to dominate an INFJ woman (which is what TJs usually find themselves tempted to do, regardless of sex) is in a lot of trouble. INFJs are capable of breaking the norms of morality to a great extent, if their sacred core is being threatened by external forces. Your position does not create such kind of tension, don't worry about it, and don't compare it.

And about the reason she likes you - you know, maybe she likes many of the things that make you so insecure and (subconsciously) dislikes many of the things that make her ex so solid.

 

[Manders]

As an INFJ I cheated on an INTJ.

I was completely in love with him, and utterly devoted and cheating is not at all something that I support or would normally do.
He said some things that I found to be disrespectful and when I told him how what he said hurt my feelings, he wasn't apologetic he was like "well your with me or your not".
So I felt abandoned by the 1 person who I felt I was giving my all to.

If he didn't care about my feelings, I felt like no one would.
Also he lived in another state, and stopped coming to see me as much. (basically he stopped trying to impress me or make me happy)

So I cheated
1. to not be lonely
2. to try and forget about him
3. to try and move on

I told him about it right after it happened...not to hurt him, but just to be honest, b/c I would have wanted him to be honest with me.
We fought like crazy about it of course, but we got back together and broke up a few more times.

In the end I see now that if you ever come to the point of cheating on someone, you don't need to be with them at all.
For INFJ's love is succhh a big part of our existence that these kinds of situations can be especially crippeling to our psyche/lives.

 

[lucidflutterby]

In my opinion she seems as if she needs to grow a little more. She probably has an issue with being content with what she has. I can understand your worry. It isn't easy to deal with a situation such as this.

I will answer your question though. INFJs, INTJs, ENFPs, etc..., anyone on the planet, cheats because they are not content with what they have. It is no one's fault but their own. There is nothing you can do to keep someone you love from straying. You have to know how you will deal with that situation if it comes, but otherwise don't fret about it. If she says she loves you and wants to be with you, listen to her. There is really nothing else you can do. You're just going to drive yourself and her crazy otherwise. You can be there for her and love her.

The best advice I can give is that in our relationships we have to enjoy the moments we have together now. Life is short and the world needs us more than ever. We can only embrace what we have now and be the best we can for one another. If you feel she is not being the best she can for you, you can do one of two things:

You can leave and move on to something else. Or you can stay and take her as she is and all she can be for you.

I hope it all works out for you two. You seem to care about her immensely and don't underestimate how much she cares for you.

 

[Razare]

Should I feel insecure? Or am I being stupid?

You're being stupid. Not about being insecure, but by making yourself blind to the obvious. How long has this relationship gone on? Not long, I hope, because if it has you're in denial.

Seriously, end the farce now; she's not dateable if you're looking for anything more than sex. As to why she cheated on her last guy, it has little to do with INFJ and more to do with subconscious motivations she likely isn't even aware of. People's concious mind often believes that it understands what they truly want, so they strive for it... but then their subconcious ruins the situation because that's not what they truly want. It's just that their conscious mind is constrained by the expectations of society, so it is unable to accept their true selves, since their true-self is something unsightly.

She doesn't deserve that guy she cheated on; she doesn't deserve you. Not until she understands herself, until then she is nothing but a silly girl who will break men's hearts.