INFJ Memory

[PintoBean]

It's weird. My memory for some detail is really good and surprises even me. If someone tells me something about themselves that is remotely intimate (relating to relationships, names of pets, personal history, preferences, life experiences etc), I will remember to a T. This shocks and flatters people. It is a sure way to someone's heart to remember the name of their boyfriend, kittty, that they prefer milk chocolate and that their parents are divorced and a childhood illness or injury that impacted them. Basically, I remember what seems to be important to the other party, even if it seems trivial. So I can reflect back someone's special/significant opinions/memories in a way that sometimes makes me feel like a creep or sociopath. I can remember in depth the content of a conversation and feeling, yet have no curiosity if the person's name was Monique or Patricia. I can listen to this person and talk to them for say 5 months (a semester) and never know their name or even be curious, yet end up knowing an intense amount about them. Though once I do know a name, I never forget it. The thing with dates, is that it is so bad. I can often only give a time frame for a specific event, sometimes a many year window period. I can and do confuse which day of the week it is (which makes me look prematurely senile), and I never know the exact date unless I must. I am horrible at remembering birthdays and must write them down. Maybe it is quite normal (and nothing to do with INFJ specialness) that I have a bad memory for names and dates. That's probably pretty common. I think it is maybe more unique to INFJ to keep detailed memories of nuance, events and conversations that have some kind of emotional significance.

 

[Deleted member 10171]

It's weird. My memory for some detail is really good and surprises even me. If someone tells me something about themselves that is remotely intimate (relating to relationships, names of pets, personal history, preferences, life experiences etc), I will remember to a T. This shocks and flatters people. It is a sure way to someone's heart to remember the name of their boyfriend, kittty, that they prefer milk chocolate and that their parents are divorced and a childhood illness or injury that impacted them. Basically, I remember what seems to be important to the other party, even if it seems trivial. So I can reflect back someone's special/significant opinions/memories in a way that sometimes makes me feel like a creep or sociopath. I can remember in depth the content of a conversation and feeling, yet have no curiosity if the person's name was Monique or Patricia. I can listen to this person and talk to them for say 5 months (a semester) and never know their name or even be curious, yet end up knowing an intense amount about them. Though once I do know a name, I never forget it. The thing with dates, is that it is so bad. I can often only give a time frame for a specific event, sometimes a many year window period. I can and do confuse which day of the week it is (which makes me look prematurely senile), and I never know the exact date unless I must. I am horrible at remembering birthdays and must write them down. Maybe it is quite normal (and nothing to do with INFJ specialness) that I have a bad memory for names and dates. That's probably pretty common. I think it is maybe more unique to INFJ to keep detailed memories of nuance, events and conversations that have some kind of emotional significance.

In a nutshell, all of the above - this is me.....*she says as she recalls at around 5pm yesterday, suddenly remembering that she forgot to post her nieces birthday card (even though she set a reminder)....so grabs a stamp, money, literally tears off address page from filo (because she can't remember the postcode), grabs purple marker pen, another pen and runs out of the house (hoping she doesn't bump into anyone en route) to purchase card and post it before postie collects at 5.30pm (even has time to have an interesting chit chat with the newsagent)....mission accomplished!*

I am rubbish when it comes to remembering birthdays! During a working week, it's not unusual for me to either be a day behind or ahead ..makes life very interesting! I find it amusing when people tell you stuff (more so when they hadn't planned on sharing personal info because they are around you and just need to unload etc) and they forget that they've disclosed some really personal info and days, weeks, or even years later.... talk to you as though you don't know....I often have to remind them that they did in fact share and I know about X,Y and Z. They are stunned!! I remember all the fine details, why they felt led to share and even why they may have forgotten what they told me.

I was only thinking a few days ago (or whenever it keeps occurring) that I generally don't do introductions...I just engage in conversations with the person and the name usually follows during the middle of the conversation or at the end. So, so very annoying when I'm involved in a intense conversation with someone (that I may have only briefly met) and someone comes along....and I'm thinking...."ohhhh introductions...and I can't remember your name."

 

[Artisan]

I have always thought that I had a bad memory, but I understand now, from learning about INFJs and our type that I just have a different kind of memory.

I rarely remember chronology, dates, factual details. I do remember what people said, what the athmosphere and the mood was, how people interacted and what I and others were feeling.

Is this true for anyone else?

I struggle remembering dates, names and pretty much everything in the auditory spectrum.
I do remember how I felt about whatever was said to me, the atmosphere and how it went on.
You are not alone in this.

The order in which things happened however I do remember, same for factual details. But if for example I get into a conversation about a subject and someone asks where I get my facts i'm screwed. I often cannot remember where I got the info from, even though I tend to really do my research into the sources of the articles I read.

Also, I am not sure that what you mention is an INFJ trait. I think it is related to what is or is not your dominant learning style.

 

[invisible]

Sometimes if you get very stressed out in a situation as an INFJ your Se can sort of go into overdrive and you can remember everything in the most minute detail, like as if you're watching a film played back to you.

 

[Scientia]

Sometimes if you get very stressed out in a situation as an INFJ your Se can sort of go into overdrive and you can remember everything in the most minute detail, like as if you're watching a film played back to you.

Yes. I have had this happen during times of stress. I am not sure what everyone is talking about regarding having a bad memory and not being able to remember dates or what people said. I haven't experienced this but I admit that I am better at remembering faces than names. Overall, though, I have an excellent memory.

 

[Night Owl]

O Memory, Memory, wherefore art thou O Memory. Recall not names, but faces only, and that is all that thou dost give me.

Is it worth repeating what has been so well said already?

But if for example I get into a conversation about a subject and someone asks where I get my facts i'm screwed. I often cannot remember where I got the info from, even though I tend to really do my research into the sources of the articles I read.

This is so very true for me also. In fact an INTJ friend asked me about some things I had learnt from this book I was reading, and my mind was blank on the matter, as the information I read seems to just be absorbed into my Ni-Ti network and it often becomes hard to distinugish what information is from where, because if if it's sourced from elsewhere (as is everything we know) it becomes entwined with other thoughts of mine, and is stamped with my own subjective take. Yet I must admit, if I want to give weight to my argument I throw around a few names or books and paraphrase a rough idea (always with my own development of that idea) attributed to that 'figure'. This is especially effective when talking to T's.

I'm learning a language at the moment and find that I'm not too bad at all in memorising the grammar and vocab.

 

[INFJ16]

Sometimes if you get very stressed out in a situation as an INFJ your Se can sort of go into overdrive and you can remember everything in the most minute detail, like as if you're watching a film played back to you.

I've actually only ever experienced about the opposite. When very stressed (especially adrenaline rush kind of stressed), I find I get tunnel vision about the thing concerning me at the time. I easily remember what happened, how I felt, and whatever I was looking at. I don't notice anything I'm not looking directly at and so I don't remember it.

I've never been able to remember or even notice in minute detail unless I specifically look around for that purpose.