INFJ vs ISFJ

Shai, personally I liked the article. I followed it back before (that "look" site without the INFJISFJ tag) but I wasn't going to respond. But honestly? I think those things can be right. We don't like it, but so what?

Funny thing is, we make judgments against SJs and SPs and NTs all the time saying, "they're this and that." Well, time to accept our own. I'm not 100% these things but I can definitely see myself in some of those traits. More than I see myself in the SJ traits. We *can* be flakes. Time to admit that.:mhula:
 
Last edited:
attacking myself? Rhetorical device! And yes of course it is in general, but regardless, it seemed a bit "off"

I see what you mean about investigation...and I wasn't intending to assume that I would fit into a tidy rubric! I suppose it was the way the information was presented that made them seem too rigid.
 
Last edited:
Shai, the first thing I did was follow that link, and it didn't work. So what does that say?

I'm all too aware of the weaknesses of an INFJ, but I still don't agree with some of that article.

It was statements like this:

"ISFJs tend to parent their INFJ mates, particularly when the ISFJ is a thinker and the INFJ is a perceptive type"

What? The ISFJs I know are very emotional, same with the INFJs, because they're Fs. And they both tend to be fairly anal, because they're both Js.

"The ISFJ knows that the INFJ doesn't think that punctuality is terribly critical, in general, and the ISFJ knows that something as boring and impersonal as bill-paying may just slip the INFJ's attention until a payment is long overdue."

I'm a punctual person, and I handle the finances in my house. I'm not leaving that up to my INTJ husband, he could care less.
 
I think ISFJs parent everyone, regardless of type. They're basically moms, even if they're teenage boys.
 
I think the article was helpful if one reads it knowing that it was meant more to compare SJ's with NF's in general. Indeed, the parts of it about the INFJ being undisciplined, for example, won't make sense for an INFJ who is very high on the Judging scale (as is my case).

But yes, as I guess many of you do, when talking to a SJ person, it seems a lot of what we take to heart, what truly makes us idealists, seems to get "filtered out" by them... as they perhaps wonder why we spend so much time and effort thinking about what can never be... rather than focusing on the here and now.

I guess the SJ and the NF bore each other... SJ bores the NF with their boring obsession with reality, and NF bores SJ with their obsession with the imaginary. ;)
 
Serafina said:
What do you guys think are the main differences between an INFJ and an ISFJ?

I'm definitely an INFJ, but I know a lot of people who are ISFJs that *think* they're INFJs and probably aren't.

My experiences with ISFJs are they are very focused on the past. They can also hold grudges like you wouldn't believe.

Because ISFJs use their past experiences to 'figure out' people, if they've been hurt in the past, they come off as very paranoid. Or falsely attribute negative intentions to you.

Other thoughts?
Click to expand...

Hmm, this could be general "transference," too, which commonly happens when a person is traumatized or has endured some trauma. They replay the past in the present with the current partner. I think this can happen to any type. Perhaps ISFJ's are more prone to it?
 
In that article that Shai Gar posted, I feel I could relate more to the ISFJ than the INFJ....even though my N score far outweighs my S score. I do feel the article made INFJs out to be flaky, but the reality is that I have yet to meet a flaky INFJ. Most of the INFJ's I know are always on time, are where they say they will be, are responsible with finances, and do their jobs. Just because we are naturally inclined to live in an "S" dominated world does not mean we cannot overcome our iNtuitive tendencies to function effectively.
 
Serafina said:
What do you guys think are the main differences between an INFJ and an ISFJ?

I'm definitely an INFJ, but I know a lot of people who are ISFJs that *think* they're INFJs and probably aren't.

My experiences with ISFJs are they are very focused on the past. They can also hold grudges like you wouldn't believe.

Because ISFJs use their past experiences to 'figure out' people, if they've been hurt in the past, they come off as very paranoid. Or falsely attribute negative intentions to you.

Other thoughts?
Click to expand...
I've dated an ISFP before so I think hey might be quite similar. I notice that they crave emotional intensity yet at the same time fear it as well. They usually love sports and are more into them as well. They like living in the now and they usually have a good color sense, making new trends and stuff like that.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
ISFJs are way usually really good with interior design :D
Click to expand...
Hahaha ;D My ISFJ friend is an interior designer

Serafina said:
Shai, I didn't agree with a lot of what you posted on ISFJ/INFJ. I know you just copied it from somewhere, so it wasn't *you*, but there was quite a bit I didn't get. All the INFJ's I've ever known have very strong J characteristics, and are almost never late. They've also been good with money, even if they do buy stupid things occassionally because it "called to them", they don't spend more than they have. That article made it sound like ISFJ's are parents trying to discipline a child (INFJ). I could see that kind of dynamic with ISTJ vs INFP, but not ISFJ/INFJ. My understanding is that the only differences between them are in the si/ni and se/ne areas.
Click to expand...


Shai Gar said:
If any of you bothered to follow the link, you'd have seen that it was actually about SJs in general, and NFs in general. I copied it into notebook and replaced LEGALIST with ISFJ, and EMPATHIST with INFJ.
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm guessing replacing Legalist with INFJ and Empathist with INFJ it became inaccurate in the way that the writer is propably referring to ISFJ when they are speaking about Legalists with feeling preference, ISTJ when with thinking preference. In the same way INFJ is with judging preference and INFP with preceiving....so, it's not all about ISFJs and INFJs. :)
 
simply put I see it this way: ISFJ cleans your house, feeds and dresses you up = neato. + bonus constant nag about your appearance and annoying conformity + puerile spirituality
INFJ is good for mental stimulation and emotional warmth but you gotta spend more to shoulder them, get out of spiraling mind games and participate in house chores (show them how it's done)
 
Moonbeam said:
I think the article was helpful if one reads it knowing that it was meant more to compare SJ's with NF's in general. Indeed, the parts of it about the INFJ being undisciplined, for example, won't make sense for an INFJ who is very high on the Judging scale (as is my case).

But yes, as I guess many of you do, when talking to a SJ person, it seems a lot of what we take to heart, what truly makes us idealists, seems to get "filtered out" by them... as they perhaps wonder why we spend so much time and effort thinking about what can never be... rather than focusing on the here and now.

I guess the SJ and the NF bore each other... SJ bores the NF with their boring obsession with reality, and NF bores SJ with their obsession with the imaginary. ;)
Click to expand...
paradanmellow said:
simply put I see it this way: ISFJ cleans your house, feeds and dresses you up = neato. + bonus constant nag about your appearance and annoying conformity + puerile spirituality
INFJ is good for mental stimulation and emotional warmth but you gotta spend more to shoulder them, get out of spiraling mind games and participate in house chores (show them how it's done)
Click to expand...

So much wrong information here.
 
paradanmellow said:
hurts, doesn't it?
Click to expand...

I'll explain. I admit, just saying it was wrong without explanation isn't very helpful.

MBTI can be compared to a programming language. Just as you can write tons and tons of programs with the same language, so can many different people who behave differently and have different opinions be borne from the same MBTI type.

There is nothing about ISFJs that necessarily makes them more conformist than INFJs. Si seeks for the most important details to understand things. I too can strive for greater understanding of things and philosophize; I simply do it with Si and not Ni or Ti or Fe or something else. It is not as if I switch to Ni when I am predicting a future outcome.

The traits you listed are not intrinsic to the types.
 
Owfin said:
I'll explain. I admit, just saying it was wrong without explanation isn't very helpful.

MBTI can be compared to a programming language. Just as you can write tons and tons of programs with the same language, so can many different people who behave differently and have different opinions be borne from the same MBTI type.

There is nothing about ISFJs that necessarily makes them more conformist than INFJs. Si seeks for the most important details to understand things. I too can strive for greater understanding of things and philosophize; I simply do it with Si and not Ni or Ti or Fe or something else. It is not as if I switch to Ni when I am predicting a future outcome.

The traits you listed are not intrinsic to the types.
Click to expand...

that's more like it, apology accepted

those were the main common traits I observed in 3 ISFJs and 2 INFJs which is why I saw safe to share
 
i have a practical example of the differences when both are musicians:
INFJ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17-QW-mstu8&context=C3a712c6ADOEgsToPDskJhbzUg02CFY6v2iE8GE37K
ISFJ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcL8zrkBpVQ

to clarify:
infj plays for others, emotions are genuine and completely impulsive. she only keeps the how she does it part inside her, thus becoming the perfect performist.
even an asperger cant miss performing infj's emotions.

isfj plays for her self, she sulks up while performing, her posture and performance is 100% planned and every emotion she shows, is just as planned + executed by Ne and "fake" in Se perspective.

and those two things affect their behavior in everything.
 
I'm a combination of both ISFJ and INFJ! Sometimes I'm one more than the other. Great at reading people, nurturing at the same time. Sometimes I look at the big picture, sometimes I examine on the parts (and how they effect each other). I love to write and create but over-think things and can get hung up and very self critical, and my perfectionism drives me crazy to a point where I just say "screw it, whatever happens, happens". Sometimes I embrace my spirituality or hide myself. Sometimes when I am amongst friends I want to talk about their problems and help them. When a topic of interest comes up I become very passionate and extroverted. It's a weird balance between who I am in the world and who I am alone in my room.


Jana said:
Nothing is black or white...If you think about yourself, you'll see that you are maybe all of this things, but if you have to choose between two patterns of acting, you would choose one of the pattern.
Click to expand...

I dub myself IXFJ :D
 
Last edited:
[MENTION=5861]Horatio[/MENTION] WOOT! lol I relate to what you have said. I honestly think I was more of an INFJ before I married an ISTJ. Now after much practical training and interactions (on both our parts), I know I have picked up on how my husband likes to tackle things ... and that is mostly out of compromise and finding common ground. Definitely the "S" part of me is learned, but it is now very much a part of who I am on the surface. Internally I have that struggle of what I want to do vs. what I need to do. The questioning comes from how my decision affects others (such as: omg I HAVE to buy those boots! Wants, wants, wants. Then comes the voice: how are you going to explain another pair of boots to your husband? Ok, ditch the boots.)

Honestly when I read more and more about ISFJ, it suits me with some exceptions. There are still many parts of the INFJ that fit as well.
 
Last edited:
My mom is an ISFJ- and we have a funky relationship. She projects everything from the past onto the future- some of which is very negative. She doesn't feel comfortable with my unorthodox way of doing things, but she is always reliable, always there to help. If I were to do something incredibly unconventional, I know that I would still have her full support. It is an interesting dynamic. My mom is also a very "spiritual" person, she believes in ghosts, psychics, and "signs from god"- and also in the past has been a member of more unorthodox churches- where they would talk in tongues, etc.

So my mom is traditional, but not completely traditional. ISFJs are interesting because they are very concerned about following social conventions, but their feelings and sympathy for others will often make them more of a defender for those who are unconventional. That being said, when there is an authority figure dictating what she "should do" she has a very hard time arguing against that authority figure. Authority figures tend to make my mother incredibly submissive. I am much more stubborn than my mother, and do not put stock in authority figures- I think because of intuition, I am more likely to question their motives.

ISFJs are incredibly nurturing, but can also be a little too smothering. They work great with people who need them, and need their support, an unhealthy situation would be one where an ISFJ would force dependence on an individual who was for the most part autonomous.

ISFJs are really free-spirited, quiet, calming, soothing, and incredibly hard workers. There are a lot of things that INFJs can learn from them, and vice-versa. It can be a great relationship when there is mutual appreciation, and one doesn't hold the other in disregard.
 
jupiterswoon said:
So my mom is traditional, but not completely traditional. ISFJs are interesting because they are very concerned about following social conventions, but their feelings and sympathy for others will often make them more of a defender for those who are unconventional. That being said, when there is an authority figure dictating what she "should do" she has a very hard time arguing against that authority figure. Authority figures tend to make my mother incredibly submissive. I am much more stubborn than my mother, and do not put stock in authority figures- I think because of intuition, I am more likely to question their motives.

ISFJs are incredibly nurturing, but can also be a little too smothering. They work great with people who need them, and need their support, an unhealthy situation would be one where an ISFJ would force dependence on an individual who was for the most part autonomous.

ISFJs are really free-spirited, quiet, calming, soothing, and incredibly hard workers. There are a lot of things that INFJs can learn from them, and vice-versa. It can be a great relationship when there is mutual appreciation, and one doesn't hold the other in disregard.
Click to expand...


Interesting. I'm more center-left, but I see try to see how societal changes could impact society in the long run (positive or neg), or if they are just a temporary fad. It is strange, because as a mix of both ISFJ and INFJ I can be well rounded in my approach to things; other times I am over-thinking or overly critical. I find I have a hard time explaining my personality because of that mix.

When I was a teen I was totally the smothering nurturing type :lol:


[MENTION=4423]Sriracha[/MENTION] :amen:

Are there other INFJ/ISFJ mixes out there?


Another thing that I didn't even take into consideration was gender. Check out this video:

[video=youtube_share;Fz9iJ7NJtC8]http://youtu.be/Fz9iJ7NJtC8[/video]
 
Last edited:
Do you know the MBTI joke, "Jesus was an INFJ, but all the people who were inspired to die by his death were ISFJs." That basically sums it up for me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top