INFJ women: How would you like to be approached?

durentu said:
my guess is that while she's staring at you, she's fantasizing the most kinkiest, perverted, sin inducing thing there is. Then, when you look back at her, she believes that you know what she's thinking and then feels guilty and looks elsewhere immediately (either from her belief in telepathy or something similar or that she knows that people can read her thoughts by her face)

It's your call. You are in her fantasies. You can break those fantasies by asking her out and let her get to know the real you. Or you can not ask her out and let her fantasies continue.
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Oh God, he's figured out us women! ABORT! ABORT!!
 
durentu said:
my guess is that while she's staring at you, she's fantasizing the most kinkiest, perverted, sin inducing thing there is. Then, when you look back at her, she believes that you know what she's thinking and then feels guilty and looks elsewhere immediately (either from her belief in telepathy or something similar or that she knows that people can read her thoughts by her face)

It's your call. You are in her fantasies. You can break those fantasies by asking her out and let her get to know the real you. Or you can not ask her out and let her fantasies continue.
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So when a woman stares at me, and I go up and grab her ass, and she screams and files a sexual harassment lawsuit, that's all part of the fantasy?
 
pierce said:
So when a woman stares at me, and I go up and grab her ass, and she screams and files a sexual harassment lawsuit, that's all part of the fantasy?
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no. once it happens for real - it isn't a fantasy anymore.
 
If I had moderating powers I would delete this entire thread.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Oh God, he's figured out us women! ABORT! ABORT!!
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Hahaha i was gonna say, ummm wait a sec dude, you might be a little mistaken. lol

She probably thinks he is a creepy serial killer since he spends all his time looking at her driving by her and stalking her on dating websites ha ha ha. The time to have said hello was a year ago dude!
 
I will tell you a hilariously sad secret about human relationships. This is one that absolutely burns most people when they hear it.

Do you know the reason most of your younger friends seem to end up attached to jerks? It's pretty straightforward.

The jerks asked. They don't care about the person involved and that made it a lot easier for them to just be themselves. They can be outright dicks without any particular fear of losing something or getting hurt just because they honestly don't give a rat's tail end if they are turned down or not. They just asked when nobody who cared would.

Don't play games. Dear gods don't play games. If you want big, intense, fantasy love where you dance around each other then fine. It's a good way to get hurt. The best variety of love is the kind where you find stability with the other person and a genuine caring. Yes, the huge explosive emotions are wonderful but they have to be measured carefully or they will overwhelm you.

Talking is the first thing. Most often INFJ's prefer not to initiate. Some will. Some do like to take charge if only when you're alone with them. Keep in mind that their private life personality will be much different from their public life personality. People will be drawn to them. If you're a jealous type then go elsewhere. You will NEVER find happiness with an INFJ. Conflicts of that nature make us insane over time.

In public we are quiet and withdrawn. In private we can be excitable, intense, sensitive, emotional people.

Stop making eyes at each other. Pack that shit in. Yes, it's fun and it gives a hard-on to think of all the fantastic things you might maybe one day say to each other. Stop it. You either speak to her or let it go, but right now you're wasting hours on a dream that could be spent doing things that actually matter like getting to know this person.
 
Billy said:
She probably thinks he is a creepy serial killer since he spends all his time looking at her driving by her and stalking her on dating websites ha ha ha. The time to have said hello was a year ago dude!
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No stalking from me, only three visits on her website in a year.

Almost 4 weeks have past since I sent the message. She has logged in but she did not read the message and she did not visit my profile. And I haven
 
I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but since I'm going through a bit of a time of difficulty, myself, trying to sneak inside the social-shell of a self-proclaimed ISFJ (and am not doing a very good job at it at all) I went out and LOOKED for advice. This is very unmanly, I guess, but it turns out someone wrote a very good article on the issue of winning over the shy girl.

Content is, i'd say, 93.2% SFW.

Start with http://www.prettyfedup.com/pfu/lovesex/shygirls.htm and then http://www.prettyfedup.com/pfu/lovesex/shygirls2.htm and then http://www.prettyfedup.com/pfu/lovesex/shygirls3.htm. Kind of a long read, but the writer pulls it off with humor AND a level of insight I'd not seen elsewhere. Apologies to the women of the court if this reads as a bit manipulative (which it did to me) but... well, there you have it.
 
I have honestly never been approached by a man in that manner.
But if one were to come my way, he should peak my interest by saying something completely out of the blue, but still sincere. I do like VH's idea though too lol.
 
People will be drawn to them. If you're a jealous type then go elsewhere. You will NEVER find happiness with an INFJ. Conflicts of that nature make us insane over time.
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Huh? If they're a sexy-INFJ, sure, lots of people are drawn to them.

I'm have mediocre looks at best and no-one has ever been drawn to me for personality reasons, not even my last girlfriend.

If the INFJ wins us personality contests, someone needs to tell me what I'm doing wrong here.
 
Razare said:
Huh? If they're a sexy-INFJ, sure, lots of people are drawn to them.

I'm have mediocre looks at best and no-one has ever been drawn to me for personality reasons, not even my last girlfriend.

If the INFJ wins us personality contests, someone needs to tell me what I'm doing wrong here.
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Maybe, it's the sense that you need to allow your personality to show more. Perhaps, you're underestimating what you have, so you don't show it or appear confident when displaying it. Nothing is wrong with featuring who you are, the positive aspects of your personality, and giving them more attention.
 
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