INFJs and fits of rage

Raccoon Love said:
same..not to stereotype..but I always get into conflict with stj's which leads to irritation from my part which goes against my nature...
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I never get into conflict with STJs. They get into conflict with me, and then blame it on me... which is something I had to learn over the years... I really am not doing anything wrong when they jump my case. It's taken me most of my life to redevelop the self esteem that I've lost at the hands of the STJs in my life insisting that I was a terrible person when they decided to be upset with me for doing nothing other than being my kind, quiet, benevolent self.
 
Raccoon Love said:
same..not to stereotype..but I always get into conflict with stj's which leads to irritation from my part which goes against my nature...
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I have never gotten into a conflict with my istj friend....we get along super well and are weird and creepy together and it's AWESOME...
 
Von Hase said:
I never get into conflict with STJs. They get into conflict with me, and then blame it on me... which is something I had to learn over the years... I really am not doing anything wrong when they jump my case. It's taken me most of my life to redevelop the self esteem that I've lost at the hands of the STJs in my life insisting that I was a terrible person when they decided to be upset with me for doing nothing other than being my kind, quiet, benevolent self.
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Ohh, I'm sorry if my words sounded like I misunderstood..yes..this happens with me as well..STJ's have always picked on me because they have considered me as inferior for some reason, mostly ESTJ's picking on my introversion or ISTJ's on how ''weak'' they think I am..My Dad is an ESTJ so I can relate..he has done pretty aweful things but I guess I still respect him even though he might not do the same in return.
 
Raccoon Love said:
STJ's have always picked on me because they have considered me as inferior for some reason, mostly ESTJ's picking on my introversion or ISTJ's on how ''weak'' they think I am..My Dad is an ESTJ so I can relate..he has done pretty aweful things but I guess I still respect him even though he might not do the same in return.
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I'm sorry :m167::m032:
 
INFP micro-rant, if you don't mind.

I was at a party for three teammates-turned-friends last night, and being probably the most pronounced introvert in a bunch of ENFPs and ESFPs, I experienced a bit of a private blow-up over how I viewed my sexual identity unfolding. I'm nearly 30 and I've only been intimate with one person -- so the fact that these guys are, not just very experienced, but also could have been in a threesome/foursome [with or without me] right then and there, kind of disturbed me. The deciding factor for it not happening was merely that our host had to be awake early today for work. I consider my sexual attitudes to be very laissez-faire towards others at large, but even semi-public affection can turn me right off. Can I be sexually liberated in terms of keeping up with the libidinous three-headed monster without being liberal in the first-person sense? I can't begin to reconcile those two, and I might have gone through with it just to try and see a "light" at the end of prolonged celibacy, for lack of a better phrase.

I actually lost sleep over how awkward our shared sporting lives would be after a foursome. If you can believe this, a part of me would feel more awkward about not participating in one. Would this have meant we tanked every game for the rest of the season? I sure hope not! And because it was left open-ended, it may yet happen for some of us, and I would never have any idea how to proceed. I played terribly today just because I was distracted by all of these questions. Today no one suspected each other of anything but being tired.
 
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Moxie said:
It takes a while, like others have said, until I feel rage. Then it comes out very, very cold, methodical, and scary. I don't blow up hot like a lot of people do... I blow up cold.... Frosty even. It's hard to describe, but I've never met anyone else who gets mad this way.

Irritation, on the other hand is a constant in my every day life. I get irritated, I get over it, I get irritated, I get over it - same constantly-repeating cycle. I just keep it to myself.
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I can relate to this. The angrier I get the colder I get but the more cutting my dialogue is. The more volatile the situation the calmer I get but a cold controlled calm with me clearly eminating danger for others to back off.
 
Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. I have let things build inside until I burst out and it's definitely not something pretty. I snap at people and it can be very bitter. It's easier to refrain from it with strangers because I can sort of step out of myself and realize that they're not at fault and do not deserve me lashing out on them because of my inability to control my feelings and that helps me to keep calmer in front of them.

But it's very difficult with people who are close to me. I lose my objectivity and let it all pour out and I don't even think during these moments, it's like a pure form of selfishness and I can't control it even if I know that it's not the way to go. Fortunately these moments have mostly subsided because there aren't so many people around me at the moment to act it out on them. But I am keeping it all inside and I'm afraid that one day when I am again closer to people, they're going to face the consequences of me being stressed. I try to avoid this by not letting my emotions overwhelm me when I feel that I am close to that point. I sort of try to detach myself from my emotions and look myself from a distance. Lots of analysis going on.
 
. . . and of course the next logical step in my mind is that now I feel like I need to be a slut in order to gain social acceptance among peers. No thanks. I'm angry that no one I can find as a potential mate (I'll add the words "these days") seems to view sex as even minimally sacred anymore.
 
Yes, I think i'm very passive-aggressive. I don't get angry often,
but when i do apparently i have the ability to really hurt people
with my words...it's the only time that i would ever hurt someone,
and most of the time i'm not even aware of how well i know people's weak
spots.
 
ENTroP said:
This is something I've noticed about my mom (INFJ). When she is having trouble with one of the younger kids, and they are being particularly difficult, and she is having a particularly bad day, it gets ugly.

I've seen her go into these crazy fits of rage, and she will yell and scream, and mete out all sorts of punishments all while raging about psychotically. It is a stark contrast to her usual calm self.

Just wondering if you guys ever experience anything like that.
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*hands to mouth* OMG its me!!! ROFL! I don't think I get totally psychotic, but yep, being home alone for long hours with my kids takes its toll fast, and when the kixx are on the floor and cloths strewn and fighting is escalating, I lose my shit fast and colorfully. Esp when the little one, who is going through a faze gets on a particularly bad streak. wow.
 
Entyqua said:
Errr yeah. All the time. Along with fits of random tears. And fits of utter silent reflection. And fits of random happy.
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+1
 
v.shadow said:
yeah

hmm..I might be a weird case of INFJ, since I get pissed off very often. sometimes is just that I'm having a bad day, or I reflected about all the wrong things or that I had been holding my rage for a while, or that nobody understands.
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Oh me too! I felt that way at 17, sure, but over 10 years later, i think I am even less tolerant. I just let things get to me, my fuse has gotten shorter, the explosions bigger if I hit an actual epic fit. But I actually have a lot more stressers now, I think, with bills and kids...
I think the reason some of us get pissed off so much is like a pressure valve. Lets off steam when we are mad, but before we hit critical, full blown out of control pissed off. I have only hit a full epic fit maybe a dozen times in my life. And it just takes it out of you. And alienates people. I always feel... used up... fterwards. Ashamed, but not apologetic.

But for some reason this thread has got me in fits of laughter - maybe b/c it is imagining a nice quiet person suddenly going batshit, or I am just SO RELEIVED to hear others do this and not just me.:m163:

Someone please pm me how to multi quote so I can stop this multi posting thing!
 
Well, I certainly can do the "icy calm" routine and since I can use words as a weapon it's not adviseable to p*** me off ever! For one thing, I have a really long memory and I don't forget or forgive very readily. Since I am usually very helpful and accommodating with most people I think they're cutting their nose to spite their face. Gone are all my helpful actions-you can darned well do these things that I volunteered to do yourself. I'm not above telling tales out of school, either-sure it's mean and it's petty but you shouldn't have yelled at me or done those things that were inappropriate. Besides I'm merely telling the truth-so you slept with your student, do you think you deserve a medal? I won't cover for you-in fact, I will rat you out if you get on my bad side.
Take me for granted and you will find out what a mistake that was!!
However, normally there is no one better that you can have in your corner than me-I will really go the extra mile to help you out if I like you and if you treat me well.
 
This'll be fun. Yeah, so...like, this one time I was in a packed vehicle and the person who had been terrorizing me for years was driving (unfortunately). He did something really stupid (called me a name). I usually would have just let that roll off my back, but instead I grabbed his hair and bashed his head against the steering wheel multiple times. I wasn't scared because I believe in an afterlife, and I was ready to take everyone with me. I was shaking for the rest of the day, but I wasn't angry at him anymore.
 
christmas said:
This'll be fun. Yeah, so...like, this one time I was in a packed vehicle and the person who had been terrorizing me for years was driving (unfortunately). He did something really stupid (called me a name). I usually would have just let that roll off my back, but instead I grabbed his hair and bashed his head against the steering wheel multiple times. I wasn't scared because I believe in an afterlife, and I was ready to take everyone with me. I was shaking for the rest of the day, but I wasn't angry at him anymore.
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Holy Crap! And i thought *I* had a temper!!! LOL
 
Every time I see this thread, I want to click on it because the name is just so poetic.
 
christmas said:
This'll be fun. Yeah, so...like, this one time I was in a packed vehicle and the person who had been terrorizing me for years was driving (unfortunately). He did something really stupid (called me a name). I usually would have just let that roll off my back, but instead I grabbed his hair and bashed his head against the steering wheel multiple times. I wasn't scared because I believe in an afterlife, and I was ready to take everyone with me. I was shaking for the rest of the day, but I wasn't angry at him anymore.
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You rock. Your my hero.lol I've wanted to do that so much to some folks its not even funny.
 
My father has made me cry on several different occasions. He's unreasonable when angered.
 
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