INFJ's and Leadership.

Chessie

Chessie

Community Member
MBTI
INfJ
Ho'my'God...Alright. Take a deep breath, Chessie. Take a deep breath.

I know INFJ's are capable of leadership. I am finding myself passionately hating being in charge of this convention. I am able to do it but no part of that is making me like it. I don't enjoy leading. I believe sincerely that everyone should be able to lead themselves.

I am getting a lot done and the people I'm working with really are excellent people. They're smart and they're helping immensely. I'm trying my damndest not to do everything myself because that is a guaranteed way for me to just stick my head in a micro-wave three or four months down the line.

What have you done when you've been stuck in a leadership position you didn't ask for?

How do you handle the pressures of leading a group of intense personalities?

How do you make sure it doesn't fuck you up or burn you out?
 
I really assert my control. I don't let people know how much I consider my choices. I decide what they are and then stick with them and don't confide my insecurities in anyone.
 
I only take control, when people are super stupid and cannot get anything done. I instantly turn into a nazi and everyone hates my for it, including myself. Leave it to me to be a dick when no one can get their crap figured out.
 
I tend to turn INTJ in matters of business or leadership. I know that doesn't really help with your situation but I guess a way to say it would be that I burry my emotions in those situations.
 
Chessie said:
Ho'my'God...Alright. Take a deep breath, Chessie. Take a deep breath.

I know INFJ's are capable of leadership. I am finding myself passionately hating being in charge of this convention. I am able to do it but no part of that is making me like it. I don't enjoy leading. I believe sincerely that everyone should be able to lead themselves.

I am getting a lot done and the people I'm working with really are excellent people. They're smart and they're helping immensely. I'm trying my damndest not to do everything myself because that is a guaranteed way for me to just stick my head in a micro-wave three or four months down the line.

What have you done when you've been stuck in a leadership position you didn't ask for?

How do you handle the pressures of leading a group of intense personalities?

How do you make sure it doesn't fuck you up or burn you out?
Click to expand...

Let go and trust them Chessie. Watch for signs of them struggling if/when it happens and then step in. ... but only then.

You have a good intuition and ability to judge people and their abilities. So this is the part where you trust yourself. I know it's tough...

Quit fighting the river and work with it. There's no point in swimming upstream now after you accepted the role.

Take time outs during the day to Breathe.

Hang in there. This will end and you won't ever have to do it again. :hug:
 
What have you done when you've been stuck in a leadership position you didn't ask for?
I'd be quite uncomfortable and squirmish initially. However, I try to warm up to the group and tasks and view it as potential to let my negligible leadership skills grow ;)

How do you handle the pressures of leading a group of intense personalities?
Encourage group bonding for an awesome dynamic.

How do you make sure it doesn't fuck you up or burn you out?
I keep thinking I could have been stuck with a group far worse. You can use this to remind yourself, as you admitted they are an excellent bunch. Take the time to recharge by relaxing at home.
 
Sali said:
I tend to turn INTJ in matters of business or leadership. I know that doesn't really help with your situation but I guess a way to say it would be that I burry my emotions in those situations.
Click to expand...

+1. This is what I do. I am frequently put in leadership positions at work. Fe is pushed aside and what Te I possess is what gets things done. I become irritable and tend to think the people I am leading are not doing enough-I can become the female version of a dick.
 
I take my time, whenever I can to compose myself and to check if I'm ok. Being responsible for many things at once can make you irresponsible of yourself so the first thing you need to do is to make time for checking up on yourself whenever you can.
 
I will step up and lead only if the current leadership is incompetent or non-existent. Generally, I like to be the leader for short periods of time, but I don't think I would have the energy/extraversion to maintain leadership for an extended period of time. Most of the time when I lead, I try to try to do most of the work and use subordinates only for helping to bring me things I need for my work. I don't really delegate all that well unless I see it as an absolute necessity at the time.

I actually led a club when I was a kid, and was quite a strict leader at the time; having a fall out with my club members taught me there is more to leadership than simply being efficient or effective, you also have to win the hearts of your subordinates and give them either choice, or the illusion of choice -- while maintaining trust. To do this sometimes involves a degree of sacrifice (objective-wise or by ego) which more often than not pays off.
 
I used to run alot of things at once (Degree, PR, Festival, contract work, bands and some more) because I thought it appropriate towards getting skills for the animation/media industry. I lived on 4-6 hours sleep, 7 days a week and caffeine which fucked my weight and mind. My opinion is it is hard at first but I found it addictive and to a point destructive. In regards to caring about people I was in the idea if they were serious you don't have to deal with them, if they mess about fuck them off or tell them you will if said behaviour as it is really selfish and acheives nothing.
Leadership in my experience is a result of not wanting power as such but wanting responsibility and people following this aura.
 
Sali said:
I tend to turn INTJ in matters of business or leadership. I know that doesn't really help with your situation but I guess a way to say it would be that I burry my emotions in those situations.
Click to expand...

*laughs*

I would not suggest suppression. I would advocate for acceptance. You are in a position of authority--make the choice to be in charge. Quit worrying about being wrong--chances are in life that you will be wrong sometimes. I would guess that your anxiety is more about performance--how am I doing? Will I pull this off?--than not wanting to be in charge. Go back to your earlier thread where everyone gave you advice--read thru it again for strategies.
 
I think the responsible thing to do if you can't or don't want to be in the position, is to let somebody else take the lead rather than doing it half-heartedly or at your expense.
 
I'm not an INFJ, but I have a similar aversion towards taking on leadership roles ... although I did so a lot in the past in my military days. Maybe some of my insights might help.

Chessie said:
What have you done when you've been stuck in a leadership position you didn't ask for?
Click to expand...

I assessed the situation and the people involved. I was fairly good at reading personalities and discerning their strengths and weaknesses. I believe an INFJ would be even better at that. I grouped people for tasks that were according to their strengths and complementary traits. Then I tried to formulate a strategic plan to accomplish our mission and communicate that vision to the team.

How do you handle the pressures of leading a group of intense personalities?
Click to expand...

My favorite form of leadership was collaborative leadership. I worked at consensus building by giving every person on the team input into formulating our plan of action. I still made the final decision, but I tried to accommodate and incorporate some of everybody's ideas into the final plan. Giving people ownership in something makes them more likely to support it.

I also found it helpful to put the more brash or rebellious people in charge of something. That directed their energies towards that task rather than fighting me or the plan.

How do you make sure it doesn't fuck you up or burn you out?
Click to expand...

I used to take time out for myself to recharge. I think this is an introvert thing in general. Even a few minutes alone reflecting on things you enjoy or that energize you can be helpful. Be sure to get your alone time every day after your leadership duties are done ... doing something that you enjoy.

Hope this has been of some help.
 
Sali said:
I tend to turn INTJ in matters of business or leadership. I know that doesn't really help with your situation but I guess a way to say it would be that I burry my emotions in those situations.
Click to expand...

+1 here as well. I'm very good at shutting off my "F" and letting the "T" take over for all kinds of situations.

I think practice helps - and I second that failure is part of learning and it will happen but you can't let it paralyze you before you try! (I know, easier said than done!) I lucked out in that I grew up with a sister and two cousins and as the second-oldest, I was often "in command" if the eldest was gone. Later in school, I was the unspoken leader of my group of friends from 6th-12th grades, and in college I often ended up being the leader for group projects. I don't know why; I don't like being an active "charge ahead" leader.

I do tend to only come into this position when everyone in the group more or less trusts my judgment - and it is usually my N ability to see all sides of things and then that Fe that allows me to sympathize with those in the group so that I can orchestrate things to where everyone feels comfortable with the direction the group is going in. My T supports the decisions I make with logic that I can use to convince the group. So, I end up acting more like an arbiter/prime minister making sure everyone in my parliament is good with the group rather than a dictator. I actually, secretly LIKE being the leader in this way because it satisfies my J need for everything to be organized and go smoothly and I often feel my way is smoother for the group. The reality is probably just that I am more at ease if the group is going smooth so it's not just for the happiness of the group that I do this. :wink:

It's tough to be diplomatic without coming off as a yes-man trying to please everyone. If you are good at strategy with your N, you can try to use your INFJ logic to prove how "your way is the way to do it" and keep a group on-task, if part of your leading position is deciding on a direction.

Sorry this is kind of amorphous. I think if I had a more specific example to go from I'd be more concise.

Oh! In regards to how the OP feels in leading a thread - don't sweat it! :smile: From what I've seen you tend to bring up interesting and thought-provoking topics and that's not something to be ashamed of in any way. But if it helps, you can always focus on the "I-statement". Start the thread with "I have the personal experience of
 
I'm glad to hear about other INFJs shying away from leadership positions. Sometimes the desire to do so is so strong in me I perceive it as a weakness but what I really feel gifted to do is serve as a second in command. This is something I've recently realized.
 
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