INFJ's darker side and anger

There is nothing wrong with recognizing the darkness in yourself, or in others. Everyone has gritty parts to them - everyone has done stuff they may regret, but recognizing it takes courage.
 
UBERROGO said:
Quite frankly I dont think INFJs can do this. I have to call bullshit. All these "dark side of the infj" posts that come around every once in a while are the result of the author infjs feeling hurt or scared and the writer is trying to bluff a warning out to everyone. Or maybe the author is trying to convince themself, but whatever the reason is its not because you are ninjas or any other little kid shit.

Everyone can do bad things and has a dark side, but these posts are just written in such a way that you are just trying to puff your chest out but you cant back it up. Basically put up or shut up. They are always as elegantly written as if a high school freshman wrote them.

I do agree with this though:" That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly." That is what these dark side posts are, self righteous bitchiness. Really you should feel ashamed, or at least ashamed for the author, when someone puts these up because it makes INFJs look silly.
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I agree that no one should take themselves seriously, it's nice to hear from a different type and have a different opinion, it certainly cuts through the seriousness of the thread! Maybe the author's demeanour was self inflated, i wouldn't disagree with that entirely. Though there is no denying that a lot of people in here who are infj's have agreed that the stuff up there applies to their lives. I wouldn't discount that. Maybe the author wanted to bring some self-awareness to other infj's or maybe they were just having a good old puff-chesting - either way - it doesn't matter if it helps people.

Not trying to knock what you're saying either. I think you've got a valid point not to take life too seriously!
 
Stormy1 said:
I dunno I always see the INFJs being the type to guilt you to death...by playing the martyr and such--more an internally focused destruction. See how bad things are because of you and the things you did to me...see me drowning?.....see....blurbble.....blurbble...blurbble.
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If feeling is your strong suite and you are lashing out at someone, then you are going to use feelings to get at them. When I want to make someone feel bad I try to figure out what they loath about themselves and then push them into that frame of mind. If the person is close emotionally to me then I will try to make them feel inadequate. If they are acquaintances I will attempt to make them feel stupid by pointing out a seeming fallacy in their reasoning or a missed observation and add embarrassment by doing it in front of others.

I rarely play the victim, (no matter what Mitt Romney thinks of me).
 
Wow. I am completely floored by this post. I have recently come through an excruciatingly intense life altering situation and I am trying to rebuild myself from the scattered bits of what was blown apart in my life. Reading the OP honestly feels as if someone wrote that and directed it specifically at me. It isn't anything that I don't already know about myself, but it hurts to see it written out just the same.
 
It does describe me to a fair extent but one thing. Its true that I will gut your emotions out all over the floor but I'll never be satisfied by emotionally hurting you. I'll always simply wish to completely obliterate you either by tearing you to pieces by hand or by personally riding a nuke targeted solely on you Dr strangelove style.
 
UBERROGO said:
Quite frankly I dont think INFJs can do this. I have to call bullshit. All these "dark side of the infj" posts that come around every once in a while are the result of the author infjs feeling hurt or scared and the writer is trying to bluff a warning out to everyone. Or maybe the author is trying to convince themself, but whatever the reason is its not because you are ninjas or any other little kid shit.

Everyone can do bad things and has a dark side, but these posts are just written in such a way that you are just trying to puff your chest out but you cant back it up. Basically put up or shut up. They are always as elegantly written as if a high school freshman wrote them.

I do agree with this though:" That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly." That is what these dark side posts are, self righteous bitchiness. Really you should feel ashamed, or at least ashamed for the author, when someone puts these up because it makes INFJs look silly.
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This ^ +1. With our rather active imaginations and natural creativity, the so-called “Dark Side” of an INFJ seems to be more imagined than reality. We will sit and dwell for a time on how we could have hurt someone or gotten revenge for something but for the most part we never go as far as our imagination can go.

In all truth, our dark side is no worse than any other types but as mentioned many times in this thread because we tend to bottle it up until it explodes, it makes it seem worse. It is like going from complete calm to a bomb going off and nobody knows what the trigger was. The issue with bottling up the emotions like that is that now and again the one thing that pushes you over the top wasn’t really the big issue. It just was the straw that broke the camel’s back and cumulative anger that has been repressed snaps at that unfortunate individual who really didn’t all that much to hurt us.

I really don’t think most INFJ’s are any more dark than any other type, it is just that we glorify our anger.
 
jimtaylor said:
It is like going from complete calm to a bomb going off and nobody knows what the trigger was. The issue with bottling up the emotions like that is that now and again the one thing that pushes you over the top wasn’t really the big issue. It just was the straw that broke the camel’s back and cumulative anger that has been repressed snaps at that unfortunate individual who really didn’t all that much to hurt us.
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Love. Just ... love
 
I do have the ability to cut down to the truth in people (once I see them clearly). The reason that I tell people the truth about themselves is not to hurt them though, it is in hopes that by knowing themselves they will become better people. I don't tell everyone everything about themselves, some people can handle more truth then others.

I honestly try not to hurt people in this way. The people who have hurt me the most in life are also the people that I love the most (the more you love someone the more power they have to help or hurt you), so of coarse I try not to hurt them. Still when someone hurts me I badly want them to know themselves, so that they will never again do the things that they did to me.
 
I just freeze you out. I ice the room over as I walk past, pretending you do not even exist. No energy shall I waste on your cries for negative attention. Shunned! You are all shunned. Humph!

It's really the best way to hurt someone. To take your love away.
 
Just a quick question... I was romantically involved with an INFJ who lives in my building, and I fell pretty hard and pretty fast for him. I ended up getting pregnant and because of my personal beliefs I decided to keep the baby. When I told him that I was pregnant, he told me he had cancer, so I told him I would take care of the baby. When I asked him what kind of cancer he flipped on me and showed this darker side, emphasizing that I was nothing to him and claiming to know my intentions (it was quite negative) and I was completely crushed. He ignored me throughout the entire pregnancy, even when he saw me. At the end of my third trimester I learned that he doesn't even have cancer. The baby is now almost 4 months. I saw him in the elevator and we ignored each other. So my question is, do you think there is any possibility he might become present for his child even though he hates me this much?
 
In the rare cases this happens, I will give the person taste of complete and utter indifference. If anything makes people squirm/flip their shit, it's when this tactic is used they will want to go ram their head into a door. I also know the exact right combination of words that will tear them to pieces and how to turn people against them. Now, keep in mind, I haven't had to resort to this in over two years.
[MENTION=3240]Jill Hives[/MENTION] and [MENTION=6281]CrazyBeautiful[/MENTION] know this: You never want to push a Taurus, especially one with a Scorpio moon to that point.
 
Eirene said:
In the rare cases this happens, I will give the person taste of complete and utter indifference. If anything makes people squirm/flip their shit, it's when this tactic is used they will want to go ram their head into a door. I also know the exact right combination of words that will tear them to pieces and how to turn people against them. Now, keep in mind, I haven't had to resort to this in over two years.
@Jill Hives and @CrazyBeautiful know this: You never want to push a Taurus, especially one with a Scorpio moon to that point.
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Hah! That is funny, I am opposite that. Scorpio sun, Taurus moon.

Yeah, it can be a scary thing. XD
 
Easy, threaten to kill a puppy for money and see the darkness emerge.....
 
RRRRAAAAH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE... and... put your coat on. And take this umbrella because it's raining. You can keep it.

That about sums me up I think.

Edit:
Funnily I'm just now reminded of a time when somebody who was staying with me sold the entire awning off my porch while I was out of town. Huge canopy made out of aluminum or something like that, totally gone including the posts when I came back. This evoked merely a tired sigh and a skyward eyeroll from me. What's the point in getting mad at somebody like that? That kind of inconsiderate is just beyond normal sense and reason. Like dealing with a puppy that chews things up almost.
 
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Jimtaylor makes a really awesome point that these emotions can get bottled up or you can sit and stew in them for a while, playing through what you could have done (I know I do this).

Personally, I found the op very true to myself with an exception that ties into jimtaylor's comment. Many times I've been in an argument and I've felt cruel words pound on clenched teeth. I want to cut the person down because I know I can. I want them to feel just as hurt as I am in the moment. I know exactly what to say and how to say it. The anger that swells up in my chest is a little scary because of how intense it can be. I give my loyalty to those I cherish. Break that or hurt me because of some grave offense (nothing petty, but serious things), and I will take my loyalty away. It's like I build a door and lock the person out. I forget about how they're feeling and instead want to make them feel how I want. Which is scary to realize.

That being said, I am well aware of these things. Because of that, I don't get angry. I simmer, not boil. I also make sure to give my loyalty out to those I trust - this has been only about six people and only one of them has hurt me to the point of cruelty. I have too much empathy - because of this, I spend more time creating scenarios in my head where I was allowed to be mean. I pretend I said those awful things. Then I move on. If the offense was great enough, I just let them go and remain civil with them. Honestly, though, when I feel anger growing, I can block it fairly quickly. My empathetic nature returns and I keep quiet.

Ah, I rambled. Hope that made sense. xP I'm glad I'm not an angry person, though, and am very aware of negative feelings. But I did find the op to be true - the feelings are there, I just don't personally partake in such actions.
 
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I 100% agree. I am the most loving caring person. But you hurt my feeling-which is extremely hard to do. Ill burn you down!!!! Just happened actually with a person I had been friends with sence 7th grade. Loved him like my brother. I forgave him for his mistakes year after year. But just recently he decided to spit in my face. So I not only philysically put him in the hospital over night but I through all his garbage on the table to his family and his now ex girlfriend. I seen him just the other day he asked me why I took every thing away from him. I deeply opologized. Because I am heart broken. But I let him know he did it to himself. He agreed. And drove away. And that's that. But it doesn't change the fact that I still love him and I wish he wouldn't had made me do what I did to him.
 
I don't know if others keep such hurt feeling inside them about things that don't even directly pertain to them. But I find my self sometimes crying in my car or when I'm alone thinking. Some thoughts of people's actions break my heart. I have been in many physical altercations every single one I would cry about for months. I can't understand why poee would go so far as to hurt my feeling so deep that I have to forcefully make them apologize. Poeple in general have no clue what they are doing in this world and have not the slightest care for the hurt they cause. Makes me sick
 
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