INFJ's darker side and anger

I liken it to a pressure cooker when the safety valve blows. That's the only way I can describe INFJ rage. It is one part of being an INFJ that scares me the most because I just become incandescent with the person concerned (who, needless to say is door slammed as well) and I only end up hurting myself even more because I then have to carry the burden of guilt around with me due to my inability to keep my cool - I could have just done a "normal" door slam on someone and it would have had the same effect, after all......
 
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Tom Austin said:
I liken it to a pressure cooker
Click to expand...

The trick is letting out a little steam all the time. Even when you don't feel particularly angry.

steam.gif
 
yosh said:
I saw this on a blog, thought i'd share it here. It's long but i thought it was worth it. Random thoughts welcome.


Shadow of INFJs: I'm queen bitch of the universe and you WILL listen to me.
-----

Yep. That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly.

---

In the unlikely event you have betrayed an INFJ, cut deeply through their hearts then watch out - because nothing is more frightening than seeing one get their all. Afterall, Jesus was apparently an model INFJ. That's right. Beware the scorch. You get him angry and he'll go locust on your arse.

Of course, everything below is 'worst case under-developed' INFJ anger cases. It isn't what INFJ's do all the time. It is, extremely rare. Most have the patience of an iceberg waiting for hell to freeze over. Or a turn the other cheek style. But for those of you who want some insight into the darker, shadier side of an INFJ ...venture down below, i dare you.

---

INFJ Anger style: The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:

It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here.

First, the light: He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times.

With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards.

God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on your mind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail.

They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you.

Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice.


The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, and then caustically add something they know you will feel weakened by but will not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out.

You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? They will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you.

The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt.

This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.
Click to expand...

Highly accurate.
 
This is how I see an angry infj.

cute-bunnies-102__605.webp
 
yosh said:
I saw this on a blog, thought i'd share it here. It's long but i thought it was worth it. Random thoughts welcome.


Shadow of INFJs: I'm queen bitch of the universe and you WILL listen to me.
-----

Yep. That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly.

---

In the unlikely event you have betrayed an INFJ, cut deeply through their hearts then watch out - because nothing is more frightening than seeing one get their all. Afterall, Jesus was apparently an model INFJ. That's right. Beware the scorch. You get him angry and he'll go locust on your arse.

Of course, everything below is 'worst case under-developed' INFJ anger cases. It isn't what INFJ's do all the time. It is, extremely rare. Most have the patience of an iceberg waiting for hell to freeze over. Or a turn the other cheek style. But for those of you who want some insight into the darker, shadier side of an INFJ ...venture down below, i dare you.

---

INFJ Anger style: The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:

It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here.

First, the light: He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times.

With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards.

God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on your mind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail.

They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you.

Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice.


The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, and then caustically add something they know you will feel weakened by but will not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out.

You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? They will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you.

The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt.

This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.
Click to expand...

Very true. I’m often at odds when I argue with those close to me because I simply want the other person to know how upset I am. If that means saying some not-so-nice things, so be it. But when I’m not that angry, I’m the sweetest! It’s just a matter of wanting the other person to realize - look, you hurt me, so it’s only mutual. (Until we apologize and kiss & make up haha)
 
This is, unfortunately 100% true. The importance is that we tailor it just to you, perfectly to you -- and we know you more than you know yourself. I've done this before, and feel terrible still to this day, but it's the truth. Don't be up on alert though, as this is extremely, extremely rare since we know you before meeting you (so it means we know you're good) and we are extremely patient.
 
Truth Eternity said:
This is, unfortunately 100% true. The importance is that we tailor it just to you, perfectly to you -- and we know you more than you know yourself. I've done this before, and feel terrible still to this day, but it's the truth. Don't be up on alert though, as this is extremely, extremely rare since we know you before meeting you (so it means we know you're good) and we are extremely patient.
Click to expand...
It also means that if we walk up to you to meet you, we already know everything about you. Don't be alarmed though, since we're walking up to you with only the purest of positive intentions. The reason why we can be so brutal when betrayed (and I purposely used betrayed instead of hurt) is because we trusted you and knew you so well -- you hurt us bad -- betrayed us. But that is very rare, and don't be up in arms about it.
 
I like this, when I was younger I was definitely on "the dark side". Once you crossed me and ignored my many many many warnings. I distroyed you. It was never without good reason and warning. I'd even wait till the other girl tried to get physical with me. Then all bets we're off. I was raised with "if you feel physically threatened, don't wait for them to punch you first, you beat that bitch into a hospital bed." Yep this was back in the day when a school fight just got you suspended. I thankfully was really intimidating in highschool and only a few idoits tried to mess with me. They lost and a few will still run if they see me.
It's kinda fucked up but I'm proud I didn't let people bully me in highschool. Plus my rep followed me when I moved so I didn't have to worry at all, and I could drop a little of the bad ass crazy chick mask.
 
Truth Eternity said:
It also means that if we walk up to you to meet you, we already know everything about you. Don't be alarmed though, since we're walking up to you with only the purest of positive intentions. The reason why we can be so brutal when betrayed (and I purposely used betrayed instead of hurt) is because we trusted you and knew you so well -- you hurt us bad -- betrayed us. But that is very rare, and don't be up in arms about it.
Click to expand...
I couldn't have said it better.
 
yosh said:
I saw this on a blog, thought i'd share it here. It's long but i thought it was worth it. Random thoughts welcome.


Shadow of INFJs: I'm queen bitch of the universe and you WILL listen to me.
-----

Yep. That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly.

---

In the unlikely event you have betrayed an INFJ, cut deeply through their hearts then watch out - because nothing is more frightening than seeing one get their all. Afterall, Jesus was apparently an model INFJ. That's right. Beware the scorch. You get him angry and he'll go locust on your arse.

Of course, everything below is 'worst case under-developed' INFJ anger cases. It isn't what INFJ's do all the time. It is, extremely rare. Most have the patience of an iceberg waiting for hell to freeze over. Or a turn the other cheek style. But for those of you who want some insight into the darker, shadier side of an INFJ ...venture down below, i dare you.

---

INFJ Anger style: The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:

It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here.

First, the light: He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times.

With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards.

God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on your mind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail.

They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you.

Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice.


The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, and then caustically add something they know you will feel weakened by but will not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out.

You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? They will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you.

The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt.

This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.
Click to expand...
No guilt and no shame. People that betray occupy the inner most circle of hell (Dante-INFJ).

Core issues is like a two-sided sword. And all the rage inflicted to their core of a betrayer was trigger by their actions... is nothing more than their own reflection that they gleefully focused and nurtured, without empathy is their OWN dark side.

We didn't make them who they are, we merely drove a stake into their core issue not to damage them, after all, the issues we thru at them was their own personhood that we dissected. We didn't lie when we loudly slammed the door on them. "Slam " implies a loud shocking noise that makes you jump out of your own skin. Doesn't imply we quietly shut the door and walked away..BOOM! All we did was a mirror on them, all the crap that they own, what we did was shed light on on their shadow to hopefully wake them up from the undeas. We didn't make them who they are and guide them to do the things that lack empathy, but we did purged what we soaked in from their shadow...and thru it back at them.

The way I see it, psychopaths make up 1% so nature needed to create a balance by making INFJ. Look at our traits, we are designed to sniff out and expose predators, way before other personality types can.

INFJ are the vampire hunters...IMO.

If someone received our rage, it's because we purged their assholery from us and slammed the doors of hell onto their trapped souls.

People call us unicorns, what do you think the horn on its head is used for?
 
Perseus Shield and Sword said:
No guilt and no shame. People that betray occupy the inner most circle of hell (Dante-INFJ).

Core issues is like a two-sided sword. And all the rage inflicted to their core of a betrayer was trigger by their actions... is nothing more than their own reflection that they gleefully focused and nurtured, without empathy is their OWN dark side.

We didn't make them who they are, we merely drove a stake into their core issue not to damage them, after all, the issues we thru at them was their own personhood that we dissected. We didn't lie when we loudly slammed the door on them. "Slam " implies a loud shocking noise that makes you jump out of your own skin. Doesn't imply we quietly shut the door and walked away..BOOM! All we did was a mirror on them, all the crap that they own, what we did was shed light on on their shadow to hopefully wake them up from the undeas. We didn't make them who they are and guide them to do the things that lack empathy, but we did purged what we soaked in from their shadow...and thru it back at them.

The way I see it, psychopaths make up 1% so nature needed to create a balance by making INFJ. Look at our traits, we are designed to sniff out and expose predators, way before other personality types can.

INFJ are the vampire hunters...IMO.

If someone received our rage, it's because we purged their assholery from us and slammed the doors of hell onto their trapped souls.

People call us unicorns, what do you think the horn on its head is used for?
Click to expand...
This only happened to me once. After the betrayal, it felt like a psychological white blood cell attacking a covert malignant narcisst invader to protect myself from any future harm. But leading up to it, I was mirroring her behavior whether it was real or fake to try and provocate me, I wanted her to see her reactions from her games or her lack of empathy for herself...it only escalated the situation. I think it was my subconscious protecting me from my conscious mind that was unwilling to accept I was dealing with a high functioning psychopathy.

Until she did her grand finale, premeditated discard, behind my back smear campaign all the while being sweet and smiling in person... that was a major betrayal to our 4 years of friendship and closeness that my INFJ rage emerged in part to tell her that I noticed everything and in another part to protect myself from further and future psychological and emotional abuse.

It's not what I am or like to be as an INFJ, but my depth of subconscious resources emerging to protect me from abuse that I inadvertently fell into slowly over the years until her mask came off permanently that trigger me. I even surprised myself, I felt I needed to purge her assholery from my system. I know INFJ have a hard time leaving toxic relationship but man, did I give it to her.
 
yosh said:
I saw this on a blog, thought i'd share it here. It's long but i thought it was worth it. Random thoughts welcome.


Shadow of INFJs: I'm queen bitch of the universe and you WILL listen to me.
-----

Yep. That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly.

---

In the unlikely event you have betrayed an INFJ, cut deeply through their hearts then watch out - because nothing is more frightening than seeing one get their all. Afterall, Jesus was apparently an model INFJ. That's right. Beware the scorch. You get him angry and he'll go locust on your arse.

Of course, everything below is 'worst case under-developed' INFJ anger cases. It isn't what INFJ's do all the time. It is, extremely rare. Most have the patience of an iceberg waiting for hell to freeze over. Or a turn the other cheek style. But for those of you who want some insight into the darker, shadier side of an INFJ ...venture down below, i dare you.

---

INFJ Anger style: The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:

It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here.

First, the light: He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times.

With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards.

God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on your mind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail.

They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you.

Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice.


The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, and then caustically add something they know you will feel weakened by but will not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out.

You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? They will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you.

The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt.

This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.
Click to expand...


This. So so so this.

I’ve seen and stared into the belly of this beast many times. You fight with spirit, and you do it cold blood. It’s like an avalanche of emotions sprinkled with a little bit of INFJ logic which is not your strong suit. It just comes across so so so bad. And usually the issue is over your feelings being hurt or some unspoken emotional need. Such a bad look. You will throw the entire kitchen sink at us.

There are a few ways to defeat this dragon from my experience. One is to not back down. At all. Two is to stay rational and fight back with objectivity. Any “NT” should be able to handle this so long as they’re emotionally stable during the conflict. Three is if the INFJ has went into crazy mode, diffuse it with humor. Four is to make it safe for them to do it (they did just make themselves vulnerable to a degree) but point out where they are wrong. You have to fight fire with fire, though

Usually, once the INFJ returns to stability in a day or so, they’ll realize how stupid they acted and it violated their code and harmony. You’ll get a small “sorry” if they trust you. Withdrawal otherwise because they’re embarrassed
 
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yosh said:
I saw this on a blog, thought i'd share it here. It's long but i thought it was worth it. Random thoughts welcome.


Shadow of INFJs: I'm queen bitch of the universe and you WILL listen to me.
-----

Yep. That self righteous bitchiness? That's what makes us ugly.

---

In the unlikely event you have betrayed an INFJ, cut deeply through their hearts then watch out - because nothing is more frightening than seeing one get their all. Afterall, Jesus was apparently an model INFJ. That's right. Beware the scorch. You get him angry and he'll go locust on your arse.

Of course, everything below is 'worst case under-developed' INFJ anger cases. It isn't what INFJ's do all the time. It is, extremely rare. Most have the patience of an iceberg waiting for hell to freeze over. Or a turn the other cheek style. But for those of you who want some insight into the darker, shadier side of an INFJ ...venture down below, i dare you.

---

INFJ Anger style: The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:

It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here.

First, the light: He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times.

With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards.

God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on your mind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail.

They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you.

Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice.


The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, and then caustically add something they know you will feel weakened by but will not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out.

You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? They will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you.

The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt.

This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.
Click to expand...

I've never seen this deciphered so well. I was actually laughing, sitting at my PC, alone in my room at 3:00am:tearsofjoy: If anyone heard me in the house, they'd think I've completely lost it. (I was also laughing maniacally on the inside):smilingimp:

I used to do this more often when I was much younger; I guess because I had less understanding about people/relationships, too high expectations and anger problems (partly due to always feeling misunderstood). Once I calmed down after the operatic piece, the guilt would completely overtake me. Just a horrible feeling that wouldn't let me sleep or rest until I apologised.

Nowadays however, on the rare occasions that I do this, I feel that it is well and truly deserved. You know it is when you don't feel that debilitating guilt and feel at peace in your heart. It takes a hell of a lot to get me to this point though. It's normally when someone violates my core values continuously; when someone dear to me lies to me or blatantly takes advantage of my kindness (which many see as a weakness). Then they realise who the weak one is.

The two important words here though for me; truth and justice.

But just remember, if an INFJ does this to you when you don't deserve it, they're going to be suffering exponentially on the inside.
 
ClevelandINTP said:
This. So so so this.

I’ve seen and stared into the belly of this beast many times. You fight with spirit, and you do it cold blood. It’s like an avalanche of emotions sprinkled with a little bit of INFJ logic which is not your strong suit. It just comes across so so so bad. And usually the issue is over your feelings being hurt or some unspoken emotional need. Such a bad look. You will throw the entire kitchen sink at us.

There are a few ways to defeat this dragon from my experience. One is to not back down. At all. Two is to stay rational and fight back with objectivity. Any “NT” should be able to handle this so long as they’re emotionally stable during the conflict. Three is if the INFJ has went into crazy mode, diffuse it with humor. Four is to make it safe for them to do it (they did just make themselves vulnerable to a degree) but point out where they are wrong. You have to fight fire with fire, though

Usually, once the INFJ returns to stability in a day or so, they’ll realize how stupid they acted and it violated their code and harmony. You’ll get a small “sorry” if they trust you. Withdrawal otherwise because they’re embarrassed
Click to expand...
INTP...huh, I like the voice of reasoning with no jabs. I think I like your type.
I am embarrassed about the rage, I spent a majority of my relationship life attracting damaged people, so I took a break before I met my ex ENTP to work on my character and to understand cutting edge relationship skills. However, my higher character only attracted a stronger more intense dark triad woman this time.

I became aware that I'm an INFJ during the last year of that relationship, and I became fascinated because for the first time I didn't feel alone like an alien on this planet.

After her 2nd betrayal, I just came upon Cluster B while also observing her, and I got stuck in the Ni-Ti loop... the deeper I studied about personality disorders, each ahhh ha moment I discovered it dredged up memories that she did those malignant traits on me, so I went on the offensive. Felt like the Hulk with the aftermath hangover of the damage I inflicted. It's a transformation that surprised my good nature.

Thanks for the good observation and tips, it's the dark side of the INFJ, a shadow that shouldn't be glamorized or weaponized. But aware of... perhaps to say to the abuser, you don't want to get me angry, you wouldn't like me if I when I'm angry.

I wished I just walked away, and let the bridge crumble rather then nuclear strike. But I honestly feel my subconscious recognized I was dealing with an apex predator, so my dark side protected me from any future interactions cause I know I hit her core and will not try and Hoover me back in like her other narcisstic supplies that I witnessed.
 
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