[INFJ] INFJs Who Prefer to Date INFJs

[redacted]

Wow. I've only had three glasses with dinner. I'm mostly drunk on emotion, sobriety I seek. What just happened???

Kind of having "a thing" right now,
- dudemanbro
 
Pluto said:
Hi D.,

What "thing" are you having right now? ;)

Pluto :)
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Hey again, Pluto,

Well, I've sipped some wine with dinner, but my "drunkenness," is emotional in nature rather than chemical. What happened in regards to this very website, this page, this inter-net, if you will . . . is that I've expressed an odd but not uncommon burst of emotional energy in the form of strange prose. How fitting that it just has to happen at half past two in the morning (and beyond)! I have redacted the added text and saved it onto a notepad, because I felt that it was not appropriate for the thread. I will send it to you via the private messaging system since you have made known your curiosity. :thumb:

Frivolously fidgety,
- dudemanbro
 
Hi yet again [MENTION=11698]Pluto[/MENTION],

Someone wanted me to re-post this for the world to see. :eek:

I glance at [MENTION=11638]NataljaC[/MENTION]

- - - - -

PS. - warning, achtung - rambles! - I find that I relate with you on people not being used to intense passion, and my weak ability to keep relationships casual. It really is something I am trying to work on. I don't want to put boundaries to the passion itself, I just need the right outlets. I guess that on a superficial level I don't want to appear promiscuous (I am not), but on a deeper level I also feel that I won't be happy if I don't make a real commitment. Insert here thy dream of waking up beside the same embodied soul every morning . . . my goal is becoming archaic but I strive for it because only one can have my heart. Add to the mix my hesitation due to a gaping chasm - a rift in the fabric of innerspace - the knowing that this very commitment I fantasize about will be difficult to keep because the path of life that I am on will cause imminent clashes with the person I commit to, and that this quality is bound to cause heart-wrenching dilemmas in my life. (a well dressed run-on sentence if I ever met one, thank the wine I had earlier) Ah. It is interesting and intimidating to contemplate, and of course I cannot resist contemplating these very things that scare me (as if out-thinking these strange thoughtforms could somehow extinguish them). Hahahah............forever I digress

----------------

woe is me,
a strange creature am I!

among beautiful creatures elegantly grazing
and hog-wild brutes setting traps for those such as I
the strange creature
with their softly spoken lies
but I ask myself again and again
who will stay till my demise and
who shall wilt with compromise?
they cannot know just how they look
through clouded
sightless
eyes.

WTF am I doing?

- - - - -
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I warned you. :)
- dudemanbro
 
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dudemanbro said:
Hi yet again [MENTION=11698]Pluto[/MENTION],

Someone wanted me to re-post this for the world to see. :eek:

I glance at [MENTION=11638]NataljaC[/MENTION]



I warned you. :)
- dudemanbro
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Hi D.,

I echo your sentiments. I cannot do anything halfway in my relationships, therefore I often have to terminate them. Most people are satisfied with lukewarm interactions and perceive passionate people as somehow "immature".

That's what I love about being an INFJ - the right mixture of intelligence, intuition, feelings, passion, altruism, practicality and vision. Your prose encapsulates what it feels like to be this type of temperament.

Thanks for sharing,
Pluto ;)
 
Pluto said:
Hi Keirouen,

Thanks for participating in my thread.

Yes, it could be an INTJ!

Pluto ;)
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It definitely ain't me. I'm a total re-work in progress. :)
- dudemanbro
 
Sadly I have yet to run into an other INFJ. (or an ENFJ near my age for that matter)

I as a result have also not been in any serious relationships yet.
I ended all my relationships before they could go anywhere because I feel horrible pretending I like someone in a romantic way, when in reality, I must echo pluto here:
Miss "the right mixture of intelligence, intuition, feelings, passion, altruism, practicality and vision."

Sometimes I get the feeling it might be worth a try, but I quickly know I was mistaken.
So I cannot say for sure but only speculate that I likely would prefer to date an INFJ or at least make INFJ friends.
 
ArtFirst said:
Sadly I have yet to run into an other INFJ. (or an ENFJ near my age for that matter)

I as a result have also not been in any serious relationships yet.
I ended all my relationships before they could go anywhere because I feel horrible pretending I like someone in a romantic way, when in reality, I must echo pluto here:
Miss "the right mixture of intelligence, intuition, feelings, passion, altruism, practicality and vision."

Sometimes I get the feeling it might be worth a try, but I quickly know I was mistaken.
So I cannot say for sure but only speculate that I likely would prefer to date an INFJ or at least make INFJ friends.
Click to expand...

Hi ArtFirst,

Thanks for participating in my thread.

I'm much older than you, and as far as I can remember, I have never met another INFJ man or woman. I have met other NFs such as INFPs and ENFJs but INFJs are extremely rare - much less than 1% of the population. I think that most people who claim to be INFJs are probably mistyped because I should've stumbled on one by now.

Based on my life experience, what holds a romantic relationship together are the positive commonalities not the differences. Being human usually means feeling separate from others. We usually "fall in love" with a particular person because they are able to bridge that gap, and we are able to feel connected in a deep way with that person.

The compatibility of the average relationship is probably 55-60%, which means that both partners are only slightly better off in that relationship than alone. My estimation is that a soulmate is someone who shares at least 75% of our inner world. A twin soul, is 90% or more similar to ourselves. Therefore there are countless barely tolerable relationships; we can have some soulmates; but we probably have only one twin soul.

I recently stumbled on an INFJ man who is my intellectual twin soul. It was mind boggling how 99% of the time his thoughts were EXACTLY the same as mine. We were both spooked by the encounter, and I hope everybody could have such an experience.

So yes as INFJs, the odds of finding even a soulmate are slim.

Pluto :)
 
Pluto said:
Hi ArtFirst,

Thanks for participating in my thread.

I'm much older than you, and as far as I can remember, I have never met another INFJ man or woman. I have met other NFs such as INFPs and ENFJs but INFJs are extremely rare - much less than 1% of the population. I think that most people who claim to be INFJs are probably mistyped because I should've stumbled on one by now.

Based on my life experience, what holds a romantic relationship together are the positive commonalities not the differences. Being human usually means feeling separate from others. We usually "fall in love" with a particular person because they are able to bridge that gap, and we are able to feel connected in a deep way with that person.

The compatibility of the average relationship is probably 55-60%, which means that both partners are only slightly better off in that relationship than alone. My estimation is that a soulmate is someone who shares at least 75% of our inner world. A twin soul, is 90% or more similar to ourselves. Therefore there are countless barely tolerable relationships; we can have some soulmates; but we probably have only one twin soul.

I recently stumbled on an INFJ man who is my intellectual twin soul. It was mind boggling how 99% of the time his thoughts were EXACTLY the same as mine. We were both spooked by the encounter, and I hope everybody could have such an experience.

So yes as INFJs, the odds of finding even a soulmate are slim.

Pluto :)
Click to expand...

haha, well I hope I find me a soulmate or even a twinsoul within my lifetime.
The biggest problem I've had so far with relationships is the severe lack of depth in thought.
It makes me severely uncomfortable to be involved with someone who because of that appears insensitive and unintelligent to me.
That results in me not getting what I need in such a relationship.

It is a problem that not only plagues me in my love life but also in friendships, and only a few people manage to reach acceptable levels in that. it is something I have recently come to understand as a fairly common problem for most INFJ's. tho I sometimes have the notion that I'm in a much more difficult position then some infj when it comes to finding a suitable partner and friends. And as such have stopped looking and instead am just focusing on making the best out of life for me whilst leaving room for a pleasant but unlikely surprise. ;)
 
ArtFirst said:
haha, well I hope I find me a soulmate or even a twinsoul within my lifetime.
The biggest problem I've had so far with relationships is the severe lack of depth in thought.
It makes me severely uncomfortable to be involved with someone who because of that appears insensitive and unintelligent to me.
That results in me not getting what I need in such a relationship.

It is a problem that not only plagues me in my love life but also in friendships, and only a few people manage to reach acceptable levels in that. it is something I have recently come to understand as a fairly common problem for most INFJ's. tho I sometimes have the notion that I'm in a much more difficult position then some infj when it comes to finding a suitable partner and friends. And as such have stopped looking and instead am just focusing on making the best out of life for me whilst leaving room for a pleasant but unlikely surprise. ;)
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Hi ArtFirst,

Most people don't think at all - they'd rather go through life brain dead than look for the deeper meaning of events. It is scary for the average person to ask meaningful questions because that may force them to change major areas of their lives such as their careers or their romantic relationships.

I have no friends - only acquaintances who think that they are my friends. I'm not the exception, but the rule. The only difference is that I readily acknowledge this state of affairs. Whenever I hear people talk about the many "friends" they have, I think "Here's another one in denial of the truth". Wait until you get into a really difficult situation, and see how many of these "friends" will come to your rescue, or will tolerate being even slightly inconvenienced to help you.

BTW, can I PM you?

Pluto :)
 
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ArtFirst said:
haha, well I hope I find me a soulmate or even a twinsoul within my lifetime.
The biggest problem I've had so far with relationships is the severe lack of depth in thought.
It makes me severely uncomfortable to be involved with someone who because of that appears insensitive and unintelligent to me.
That results in me not getting what I need in such a relationship.

It is a problem that not only plagues me in my love life but also in friendships, and only a few people manage to reach acceptable levels in that. it is something I have recently come to understand as a fairly common problem for most INFJ's. tho I sometimes have the notion that I'm in a much more difficult position then some infj when it comes to finding a suitable partner and friends. And as such have stopped looking and instead am just focusing on making the best out of life for me whilst leaving room for a pleasant but unlikely surprise. ;)
Click to expand...

Story of my life.
 
My grandfather is an ESTP. Ultra-ESTP. We are very different, he and I, but for some reason, we have a fantastic relationship. I understand him where no one else does, and he understands my motivations because his are similar to mine, deep inside. When we are together, especially working together, we are very good at getting things done right in a way that just doesn't happen when we are working separately. He will repeat work because it was rushed the first time, and I will be very slow and inefficient in my work. Together, we balance each other out. My experience with grandfather reflect the socionics concept of duality relations in in an uncanny way.

I would be very interested to meet a woman with a personality like my grandfather. Though, meeting another who is the same type as me would be very cool too. There would surely be intense moments of silence while we telepathically communicate, hehe.

-dude ;)
 
dudemanbro said:
My grandfather is an ESTP. Ultra-ESTP. We are very different, he and I, but for some reason, we have a fantastic relationship. I understand him where no one else does, and he understands my motivations because his are similar to mine, deep inside. When we are together, especially working together, we are very good at getting things done right in a way that just doesn't happen when we are working separately. He will repeat work because it was rushed the first time, and I will be very slow and inefficient in my work. Together, we balance each other out. My experience with grandfather reflect the socionics concept of duality relations in in an uncanny way.

I would be very interested to meet a woman with a personality like my grandfather. Though, meeting another who is the same type as me would be very cool too. There would surely be intense moments of silence while we telepathically communicate, hehe.

-dude ;)
Click to expand...

Hi D.,

I do understand what you mean by having complementary personalities because each one possesses a particular strength that the other one does not. I think this situation is critical within a work environment when high quality projects have to be completed on time.

Also as you already mentioned, what usually makes a relationship work in the personal sphere are the positive commonalities between individuals. Being in a romantic relationship with someone who clashes with our core values is hell!

Personally, I get along well with NF (men and women) and NT men in particular. I love the emotional intelligence of NFs. I admire and respect the intelligence and practicality of NT men.

Pluto :)
 
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