Internet relationships

Rogue said:
I see your point but my F says there is a real heart on the other end. I would want to have a pic up front...that is just me...and maybe a phone call or two.
I talked to Night on the phone about one minute before I met him...and.....well....his voice threw me....I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that....milk chocolate......smoothe :D So when he walked through the door. I about died. Very traumatic ;) lol But then I calmed down and he was amazing...
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:D that's awesome. i'll try out one of these monkey smileys :m015:
 
They do work. Sometimes. But, I'm a skeptic. I find it hard trusting people I meet IRL, so talk about someone I meet online. I would want a strong friendship first with the person before anything else. If they lie about anything and I find out, that would be the end of it. Honesty's important, agreeing with Quinlan. It can work, like I said. It just depends on the effort you both put into it, I guess.
 
Jumping in here a little late. I found my Sweetheart Rogue online and she is simply amazing. We got to know each other through our writings ... the windows into our soul, so to speak ... long before we met in real life. The passion grew over time to an incredible intensity and I feel as though I have known her my entire life. Long distance is difficult, but it makes us express ourselves in detail ... including all of our feelings. I feel that this way, we have gotten to know each other better than many couples who do the traditional face-to-face dating. The tiffs can be a bit disconcerting when they occur ... but the situation does force us to talk through things and resolve them. It really helps us to grow as a couple and get to know each other even better. I could not be happier with her. I am very much in love with her and she completes me as a person. Without the internet and online fora, we never would have met and developed this wonderful partnership. She is the love of my life.
 
I met a guy 3 years ago on a forum, we were on opposite sides of the world, we met up 3 times before getting engaged and now we're married, he's the love of my life.
 
Azlan said:
How many of you have been tempted to get into one? I meet a lot of people online, some I'm pretty much indifferent about and some I can't help but look forward to talk to. People I meet online (IRL as well) tend to trust me with pretty sensitive stuff when we talk and I can't help but feel closer to them as a result. It can get mighty hard to keep my emotions at bay for people online.

WHAT SAY YOU?
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I have fallen for this trap once before.

Many of the forum members know my story.

It was not a pretty situation and I don't like to dwell on it, but it was a mixture of mistakes and deception on my part. One of them, but not the most potent element, was the illusion that internet relationships could ever be valid without face to face contact at least once.

You never know who people are online or what they are doing when they are not typing sweet nothings into you AIM chat window.

I think it's safe to say that if you are going to be flirting and whatnot online, valid evidence needs to be presented that a person is what they say they are.

Those who want you to keep your relationship a secret are playing a game.
 
Ethereal said:
I met a guy 3 years ago on a forum, we were on opposite sides of the world, we met up 3 times before getting engaged and now we're married, he's the love of my life.
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Aw, that's terribly adorable.

Damn it! Why can't stories like that happen to me?!?! :P
 
Ethereal said:
I met a guy 3 years ago on a forum, we were on opposite sides of the world, we met up 3 times before getting engaged and now we're married, he's the love of my life.
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wow...I am counting the days until that is the ending/beginning of my story too.
 
Nighthawk said:
Jumping in here a little late. I found my Sweetheart Rogue online and she is simply amazing. We got to know each other through our writings ... the windows into our soul, so to speak ... long before we met in real life. The passion grew over time to an incredible intensity and I feel as though I have known her my entire life. Long distance is difficult, but it makes us express ourselves in detail ... including all of our feelings. I feel that this way, we have gotten to know each other better than many couples who do the traditional face-to-face dating. The tiffs can be a bit disconcerting when they occur ... but the situation does force us to talk through things and resolve them. It really helps us to grow as a couple and get to know each other even better. I could not be happier with her. I am very much in love with her and she completes me as a person. Without the internet and online fora, we never would have met and developed this wonderful partnership. She is the love of my life.
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I could of written this myself!

I agree with bit about getting to know the person more through writing. My girlfriend is an extreme introvert even by INFJ standards. Very private and doesn't tell you stuff easily. I know that, no matter how much interaction I would have had with her in real life if we did meet without the internet, I don't think we would have ever gotten so deep in interaction and understood each other so fully. We met online in July, I didn't confess my feelings until November, then we met in March this year. We were veeeery slow, lol.
 
Azlan said:
How many of you have been tempted to get into one? I meet a lot of people online, some I'm pretty much indifferent about and some I can't help but look forward to talk to. People I meet online (IRL as well) tend to trust me with pretty sensitive stuff when we talk and I can't help but feel closer to them as a result. It can get mighty hard to keep my emotions at bay for people online.

WHAT SAY YOU?
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I met my ex-fiancee online. We started off as just friends but talked on the phone and webcam a lot. It's (I guess ironically) the longest relationship I've ever been in. The distance was hard, but I had the benefit of being able to take off work for weeks at a time if I needed.

Plus, I have the ability to come by plane tickets for practically free. That definitely helped out a lot. If I wanted to pick up leave and see her the next day, I was fully capable of it. First true love, only come across it one other time in my life.
 
Azlan said:
How many of you have been tempted to get into one? I meet a lot of people online, some I'm pretty much indifferent about and some I can't help but look forward to talk to. People I meet online (IRL as well) tend to trust me with pretty sensitive stuff when we talk and I can't help but feel closer to them as a result. It can get mighty hard to keep my emotions at bay for people online.

WHAT SAY YOU?
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First: Your name is Azlan! Oh God. <3!
Anyway. It's...tempting? Or I remember it used to be. But it takes a lot of effort on both sides, and you can't help but have doubts and the likes when in one, especially with the distance. You have doubts and insecurity even when the person is near, what of if the person is really far?
Also, it makes the relationship a lot more difficult than it should be. For me, that is. However, relationships can form, flourish, and end up in the altar due to online communication, I have no doubts against that. They were just the lucky ones, the exception to the outstanding rule of it not working.
 
I don't see anything wrog with meeting someone online and having it progress from there. I wouldn't consider it a relationship until we were seeing each other irl regularly though.

I wouldn't date someone from another country as it would be too difficult being apart. Too expensive and just not practical at all.

If I'm flirting with someone online then it is just for fun.

Unless i find out they live within about an hours drive from where i live it's just ain't gonna happen
 
Rogue said:
wow...I am counting the days until that is the ending/beginning of my story too.
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It sounds like a dream and people either say "Wow! That's amazing, it's like something out of a film!" Or, they just think I'm crazy for jumping on a plane to the other side of the world to meet a guy I met on the internet.

It worked out for me but I went through 3 years of HELL to get to this point, it cost me all my savings on the plane tickets and there was so much stress involved with such a long long distance relationship I really can't explain it. I do think though that most people give up way too easily and don't reach for the stars, don't follow their dream because of the hardship. I am extremely picky with guys, I went years without a boyfriend because the majority just leave me cold, I was looking for a very special, introverted kooky guy and I found him...........he just happened to be thousands of miles away............but he's so worth it, I am so glad I didn't settle for second best.
 
Ethereal said:
It sounds like a dream and people either say "Wow! That's amazing, it's like something out of a film!" Or, they just think I'm crazy for jumping on a plane to the other side of the world to meet a guy I met on the internet.

It worked out for me but I went through 3 years of HELL to get to this point, it cost me all my savings on the plane tickets and there was so much stress involved with such a long long distance relationship I really can't explain it. I do think though that most people give up way too easily and don't reach for the stars, don't follow their dream because of the hardship. I am extremely picky with guys, I went years without a boyfriend because the majority just leave me cold, I was looking for a very special, introverted kooky guy and I found him...........he just happened to be thousands of miles away............but he's so worth it, I am so glad I didn't settle for second best.
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I think online relationships give people who are far apart the chance to interact since many of us sometimes live in areas where, although there is diversity, it's not always as diverse or varied as it seems. Although i'm probably idealizing things here, it's nice to have the chance to meet people from different places because it's not always easy to find people who are compatible even if you share similar cultural backgrounds. The right person can be quite near or far away, but you won't always know it unless you have access to communication with a wider variety of people.
 
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I prefer online relationships in that it allows me a certain element of control in terms of my own comfort level. I like the emotional involvement, but anything physical terrifies me. I crave the emotional connection and the excitement of interacting with someone, but I like to take things at a very, very slow pace.

I find that I always fall for people who are across the country or across the world from me. I have no issue hopping on a plane and going to see someone if we get to a point where we really just want to spend some time together face to face.

I find that I connect with men much better online because it allows me to express myself a little more freely, and it kind of forces them to up their communication as well. I feel like there's so much less guess work involved when the connection you share with someone is purely emotional.

Of course there is always the danger that the person you're falling for online isn't who they say they are, and I've been in that situation more than once. But I try not to let those things get in the way of potentially connecting with someone who could be "the one" for me.
 
I have no problem with online relationships. I am a very abstract thinker to begin with and I enjoy the idea of knowing someone so deeply through ideas and discussion alone. I think there are benefits and disadvantages to both online and close proximity.

For me, it is a lot easier to convey my thoughts and feelings over a written medium than face to face. I have more opportunity for people to have a good sense of who I truly am. I also think that online relationships force patience and there is a lot of potential to build a very strong relationship in the meantime.

That being said, there is a lot of potential for someone to hide or misconstrue aspects of themselves which might be harder to obscure in person, that is one major disadvantage.
 
Odyne said:
Aw, that's terribly adorable.

Damn it! Why can't stories like that happen to me?!?! :P
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I agree. How many four leaf clovers must I find first?
 
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