INTJ-INFP dating

[Bellosome]

This was a great thread! I learned a lot without having to ask hahahaha

My bf's intj, and although it started out in a rough path (i couldn't understand his being distant), but after yeeaaarsssss, he learned to compromise with what i need and want. It took him a year to say i love you,(took me two years) took 3yrs (just recently) to be affectionate and totally open with his feelings towards me. Lol.

Sometimes though, i feel like we do the relationship cha-cha where i open up and be sweet,then the next day pretend like it's nothing, same goes with him. But we don't think to it as much when we first started dating.

I just wish we're one of the few who'll make it work. I hope.

 

[JJJA]

Pretty much sums up my response to this thread.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I kind of think that once an INTJ develops feelings for someone, they have a much harder time letting go, because it seems they are very selective about who they let in, so they feel a very strong bond. I don't think they can just close the gates and stop the feelings.. Maybe I'm wrong, if so, correct me INTJs, I'm basing this off my relationship with just one INTJ.

Yeah. The thing is, that bond might be a very rare occurrence over a lifetime for the INTJ, since it's difficult to properly connect with most people.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Curious @acd. Did you marry that guy?

 

[acd]

Curious @acd. Did you marry that guy?

I think that had we both (ok maybe me moreso) been more mature, we would have really had something. He talked about getting married and said things about what kind of mother he thought I'd be. But I was not at all ready for that and at the time, it freaked me out. I think that frustrated him and ultimately led to us ending because he just went back to his ex whenever I broke it off... Which just made me not trust him while we were together. We were just early 20 something's.
But he was the catalyst for a lot of change within me. He really challenged me to grow. And he said I did that for him, too. So I broke up with him for the last time and the next thing I knew he moved across the country. I do still carry him with me. I'll always love him in a way. Feelings are complex.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I think that had we both (ok maybe me moreso) been more mature, we would have really had something. He was one of my great loves. He talked about getting married and said things about what kind of mother he thought I'd be. But I was not at all ready for that and at the time, it freaked me out. I think that frustrated him and ultimately led to us ending because he just went back to his ex whenever I broke it off... Which just made me not trust him while we were together. We were just early 20 something's.
But he was the catalyst for a lot of change within me. He really challenged me to grow. And he said I did that for him, too. So I broke up with him for the last time and the next thing I knew he moved across the country. I do still carry him with me. I'll always love him in a way. Feelings are complex.

Thanks for answering that acd. Yeah... I think 26/7 is the youngest people tend to be when it comes to sticking power maturity in relationships.

But that flaky Ne... fuck that to hell, lol.