is it harder for INFJ females (maybe even males) to get married?

dj-elsa said:
He was extremely attractive, even as a chinese guy, seriously.
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This is one of those threads where I feel like the mean girl outsider because what I read into the OP's posts was not at all what others did.

Of course my opinion on love and marriage is not a popular one with INFJs so....
 
Alekine said:
What is your opinion on love and marriage?
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You've got to either tag or reply to me or I won't know you've responded :p

I think love makes people irrational and stupid and it is not at all a good reason to be with someone in and of itself. Love is not always kind or wonderful but it is easy and we are sold that it is the best thing there is and so we buy into the mythos of it.

Marriage is just a piece of paper that comes with certain legal benefits. Marriage does nothing to change a relationship. The wedding part of the marriage has gotten totally out of hand. "Traditional" marriage is not something that is necessarily ideal for all people yet like love people cling to it and fuck up their lives instead of figuring out what works best for them.
 
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Jet said:
You've got to either tag or reply to me or I won't know you've responded :p

I think love makes people irrational and stupid and it is not at all a good reason to be with someone in and of itself. Love is not always kind or wonderful but it is easy and we are sold that it is the best thing there is and so we buy into the mythos of it.

Marriage is just a piece of paper that comes with certain legal benefits. Marriage does nothing to change a relationship. The wedding part of the marriage has gotten totally out of hand. "Traditional" marriage is not something that is necessarily ideal for all people yet like love people cling to it and fuck up their lives instead of figuring out what works best for them.
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hmm...

Do you think that your views of love/marriage are due to being jaded from past relationship/s?
 
Alekine said:
hmm...

Do you think that your views of love/marriage are due to being jaded from past relationship/s?
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I've only had one relationship and I don't think I'm jaded, it was just a shitty relationship and I was young and naive when I started it.

My views on marriage stayed the same before, during, and now. Ex said he shared what i personally wanted from a relationship and the marriage was just a technicality for him to stay in the US and for tax/insurance purposes ... but obviously he lied.

As for love...young jet believed that enough love would make it work, would make it okay. It doesn't. I still love just not romantically, honestly I'm scared to love like that again because I don't always have feelz but when I do they tend to overpower my brain and I make stupid decisions.
 
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Jet said:
I've only had one relationship and I don't think I'm jaded, it was just a shitty relationship and I was young and naive when I started it.

My views on marriage stayed the same before, during, and now. Ex said he shared what i personally wanted from a relationship and the marriage was just a technicality for him to stay in the US and for tax/insurance purposes ... but obviously he lied.

As for love...young jet believed that enough love would make it work, would make it okay. It doesn't. I still love just not romantically, honestly I'm scared to love like that again because I don't always have feelz but when I do they tend to overpower my brain and I make stupid decisions.
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So did he want more from the marriage than the Visa/insurance/tax purposes and you didn't?


Sorry if it feels as tho im prying. Just trying to understand where you're coming from.
 
Alekine said:
So did he want more from the marriage than the Visa/insurance/tax purposes and you didn't?


Sorry if it feels as tho im prying. Just trying to understand where you're coming from.
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I didn't anticipate changes in our relationship after marriage. He wanted me to become a model housewife, mother, as well as continue working and to keep him fully satisfied sexually as a "good wife should" and to forgive his straying when I didn't.

Marriage did not change who I was. I told him that, but he expected that marriage and a child (that he poked holes in a condom to get i might add, after agreeing we should wait until I was ready) would make me turn into a real woman.
 
I have to admit that the initial thread was hard for me to read.
Like nails on a chalkboard.

Mixed feelings aside, as most expressed wonderfully, we have all pretty much been cursed and blessed with being picky finding a partner that fits our idealistic requirements. (The soulful kind)

I wont comment about how its apparently harder for supposibly very attractive people to partner up. That is a can of worms i dont want to open right now lol plus i have a headache. But ugh. Nails on chalkboard lol
 
dj-elsa said:
i'm 33, i love my looks, i'm educated, no kids, no real baggage, i'm financially intelligent and come from good parents, i do fun stuff like DJ at clubs but also white collar job as a teacher and i have a few businesses.

i'm scared that i'm "too picky" tho i think it's a fear that's been put in my head by people around me. i haven't ever met anybody but one person who was fun intellectually, creatively, and physicallysatisfying. and that guy chased me with a knife cuz he was a junky and fnallysnapped!

i'm really not that hard to get along with, i was homecoming queen and at work i'm one of the few people that doesn't have drama with everyone at the school. Is it my moral code? For example, i've met some great guys but they act as if i need to sleep with them right away and of course i don't and i feel they humor me or the couple that i'd gained interest in over the last two years, they wouldn't give me title of wife or even girlfriend, yet both wanted to practically own me and acted very possessive and paraded me around like i was the best thing in their lives.

do other INFJ females feel the same way? that you're so smart in so many arenas that potential mates are either too boring or unintelligent or irresponsible, and the ones that would be great see you as nags or bitches when you maintain your morality?

am i destined to be alone? or with someone i don't really love? my dad asked me for a grandchild and i want a baby soooo bad, but only if it comes with a husband that i want and love. i've read every thing i could find on attracting a great mate, what else can i do?
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Im an infj female and I agree with you. I guess guys only like a though of such independent intelligent who can do things on her own kind of girl in just dreams, in reality no one can handle such great things.
They prefer weak girls. I haven't met a guys whos into me even if they like me as a person. Sometimes I end up thinking maybe im the defaulter, maybe I don't deserve good things and that's why I get those fuckbois who just want to get laid and will pretend to have deep talks and ignore you the other day.
To be honest I don't want much, don't call yourself picky you just want some genuine good thing for yourself and it's okay to do that because in return you're gonna love that person in a different way he never thought of! A whole new level of love, commitment, understanding, the INFJ way.
 
It's easy to get married.

Most of people get married. The question is, how many people stay married? Not a lot. Why? Because men and women are simply animals these days, including INFJs.

To me it sounds like you're being too picky. I'd look for the practical things in a partner first and then work on the fantasy later. You could grow together and build a lot in common.
 
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Pin said:
It's easy to get married.

Most of people get married. The question is, how many people stay married? Not a lot. Why? Because men and women are simply animals these days, including INFJs.

To me it sounds like you're being too picky. I'd look for the practical things in a partner first and then work on the fantasy later. You could grow together and build a lot in common.
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I'm going to be honest, @Pin, this girl sounds like horrific bad news.

I suspect that the decent men simply avoid her like the fucking plague, and so she ends up with the junkies.

MONEY STATUS POWER :hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:

I mean, she even quoted the rank grade of one of her boyfriends. :tearsofjoy: 'Hi, mom, I'd like you to meet Jim O-5... I like him better than Dave E-6 but not as good as Adam $200,000'
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I'm going to be honest, @Pin, this girl sounds like horrific bad news.

I suspect that the decent men simply avoid her like the fucking plague, and so she ends up with the junkies.

MONEY STATUS POWER :hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:

I mean, she even quoted the rank grade of one of her boyfriends. :tearsofjoy: 'Hi, mom, I'd like you to meet Jim O-5... I like him better than Dave E-6 but not as good as Adam $200,000'
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I'll get back to this soon but... Yeah.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I'm going to be honest, @Pin, this girl sounds like horrific bad news.

I suspect that the decent men simply avoid her like the fucking plague, and so she ends up with the junkies.

MONEY STATUS POWER :hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:

I mean, she even quoted the rank grade of one of her boyfriends. :tearsofjoy: 'Hi, mom, I'd like you to meet Jim O-5... I like him better than Dave E-6 but not as good as Adam $200,000'
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In my opinion, she passed up a golden opportunity.
 
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