Isolated because I'm straight??

[Creon]

Why do people get so angry when a minority group isn't inclusive? There is irony there. A minority group struggles to be acknowledged by a society that would sooner exclude it, but if members of the minority group dare to exclude members of the general society, then they are hypocrites. Kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of thing.

And Taz, to be frank, your sexuality may have absolutely nothing to do with why people are snubbing you. Just because one person made such a comment does not mean that is the sentiment of the entire group, nor does it mean it is a valid sentiment. You should at least investigate to the point of remarking to some of these people how you feel you have been treated and seeking to hear their side before brandishing the whole group as "prejudiced". You might be surprised. Some little comment you made in the past could have been misconstrued or their perception of you may not be as "progay" as you believe you come across. Also some of the things that gay people discuss with one another may not be comfortable to say around a straight individual, so if you make it clear that you are interested in hearing about gay culture and won't be offended by what they say, then they might be more inclinded to being open around you.

I agree with Satya. I don't think people understand the struggle that has been had. When I was younger I couldn't tell anyone about my mom having a lesbian relation. Only when I was around our friends was I able to relax and be me. In Holland it was some easier, but when we were in the US I felt so alone with my secret they could cause my mom to lose her job and have me put in foster care.

It has come a long way to having marriage legalized in Canada, California, Vermont, and for a short time Oregon. (Sorry if I left any out.) But violence still happens and I am still afraid if one of my friends moves because finding a community with resources and the danger of hatred is a risk.

It isn't easy to be gay.

I see your point. It could be that something I said or did in the past may have made them to dislike me. But I'm certain I have done a lot of things to approach them. When we all sit together somewhere, many times I have heard about their past boyfriends etc. Still, when I try to say anything about it, they ignore me. I undestand that it's difficult to be gay in this day and age, but if I want to hold up to what I believe, then I must treat them the same way I treat all my friends. To change my usual attitude just because they are gay is the same thing with negative prejudice. I just wanted to know the reasons they did all that.
Either way, it comes down to 2 options.
Either I put my pride aside and start talking to them directly trying to find the problem, or I just cut those people out of my life. Problem is, I am a VERY proudful person (and I have paid dearly for that many times), so it's pretty much a challenge for me to go and talk to them after the way they treated me. I'll have to weigh my feelings, and act accordingly.

I'm not sure whether I have done something to them that they considered offensive, or If they are just hypocritical idiots. But I'd like to think about it leaving both options open, so that my judgment won't be clouded by a false hypothesis.
Anyway thanks everyone.

 

[Satya]

I see your point. It could be that something I said or did in the past may have made them to dislike me. But I'm certain I have done a lot of things to approach them. When we all sit together somewhere, many times I have heard about their past boyfriends etc. Still, when I try to say anything about it, they ignore me. I undestand that it's difficult to be gay in this day and age, but if I want to hold up to what I believe, then I must treat them the same way I treat all my friends. To change my usual attitude just because they are gay is the same thing with negative prejudice. I just wanted to know the reasons they did all that.
Either way, it comes down to 2 options.
Either I put my pride aside and start talking to them directly trying to find the problem, or I just cut those people out of my life. Problem is, I am a VERY proudful person (and I have paid dearly for that many times), so it's pretty much a challenge for me to go and talk to them after the way they treated me. I'll have to weigh my feelings, and act accordingly.

I'm not sure whether I have done something to them that they considered offensive, or If they are just hypocritical idiots. But I'd like to think about it leaving both options open, so that my judgment won't be clouded by a false hypothesis.
Anyway thanks everyone.

Perhaps they are hypocrites. I just don't have enough information from what you have said to determine whether that is an accurate description or not. I will say that I think it is bull that you believe you treat everyone the same. No person treats everyone the same. Whether you are aware of it or not, there are differences between how you act around a straight person versus a gay person. The ideal is that you treat everyone the same, but the reality is that people are different, so you end up treating them different. To be honest, I think a lot of people would be insulted if you pretended that they were no different than anyone else. Minorities generally don't want to be treated special, they just want to be respected as unique individuals. Prejudice is born in your heart when you begin to believe that members of any particular group are seeking special treatment.

 

[Lucifer]

meh at least he tries.

 

[Creon]

I will say that I think it is bull that you believe you treat everyone the same. No person treats everyone the same. Whether you are aware of it or not, there are differences between how you act around a straight person versus a gay person.

Well that is what you believe, and you are free to believe whatever you want. I don't see it that way. And when it's a sexuality, gender or nationality, my views of equality are absolute. It could be, in fact, the very reason those people may dislike me. I say the same jokes and speak the same way as when I am surrounded with straight friends. They could find it offensive. Actually, it's much more probable than them being hypocrites, since they seem to get along just fine with my female friends. There would be signs of hypocrisy in other areas except sexuality, if that would be the case.
But I'm not going to force others to see things the way I do, cause it could be that my views are either "wrong" or dysfuctional (probably the second, since it is obvious that method isn't working.)
Anyway, I decided to cut them out of my life both them and my female friends and avoid any further interaction. Better for all of us apparently.

 

[Satya]

Anyway, I decided to cut them out of my life both them and my female friends and avoid any further interaction. Better for all of us apparently.

It's your life. Unfortunate that you don't know why you have been treated the way you have, but if you are happy with the result in the end, then I guess that is all that matters.

 

[Hotherym]

And when it's a sexuality, gender or nationality, my views of equality are absolute.

I think generally when people hear this they become suspicious that it's meant more to polish someone's image than something that is genuine. It's a real concern, obviously, since it's a popular political tool. Being tolerant is being cool in the eyes of many, these days.

But, I'm the same way. I feel like I was born that way, though. For my whole life I've felt like I have no grasp of hierarchy, and it's gotten me into trouble, both ways. I never understood why it was so special that the kids in my class were black until my dad taught me, which, I think, maybe typical for some kids. But it never caught with me, not really. Gay friends always seemed like another gender to me--so what? I didn't grasp gender roles all that well, either. I'd think about it a lot to acquaint myself, then fall miserably short of my goal in the end.

I treat people differently based on their personality and how they come across. I can 'mould' myself to them, go with their flow for a while or longer, and generally work with it. But personality seems free from preconceptions.

Taz, I feel personally like you're making the right decision, at least for now. It stay may well be a good idea, though, to talk to one of your girl friends at least tell them what you feel is best. No use totally throwing in the towel if an understanding could be reached, I guess.